*my Friend Is Happy And Talks A Lot* My Mind: "yay That's Nice I'm Happy For Her"

Sci-fi short stories are so efficient; they take 15 minutes to read and then you think about them for the next 5 years

Genius. Thank u for this wisdom😌

I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are you working, or” and I either have to

make up some lie, or

eventually get around to “I am not working because of depression/anxiety,” and subsequently have to deal with whatever bullshit-riddled and completely unsolicited opinions on mental illness this stranger feels obligated to share with me.

So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either. You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering from an illness.”

I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked. He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved on.

MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.

I want to urge ya'll to make space for people with psychosis in your mental health advocacy.

Let me explain.

First off, psychosis in itself is an incredibly lonely and isolating experience. Depression and anxiety have made massive strides in general acceptance and that's wonderful, but if someone has hallucinations or delusions, we're still terrified to talk about them.

Isolation breeds alienation breeds suicidality.

If you don't even feel welcome in mental health spaces that are supposed to be meant for you, you're going to feel really, really fucking bad, man. Your brain is already collapsing in on itself and turning your sense of reality into a nightmare, and then you're afraid to talk about it and feel like an alien when you do.

Another example of this - you'll be hanging out in a group of other mentally ill people and they all start talking about how cannabis helps their symptoms, and insist you try it too, (weed is detrimental to psychotic people, no ifs ands or buts, it's like eating peanuts when you have a peanut allergy) and then you're put in the awkward position of either seeming like a shetered stick in the mud or outing yourself as a Crazy Person.

First of all, you're allowed to have boundaries no matter what, but second of all, I shouldn't be afraid to tell people about this aspect of my mental health.

I also really, really want to talk about those of us who suffer suicide-themed delusions. You cannot make blanket statements like "suicidal people don't want to die, they just want to end their suffering" or "this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", and you can't paint all suicidal people with the same brush.

I've felt your stereotypical "I'm going to be miserable forever, so what's the point" suicidality. And it sucks. I'd argue that it's just as bad as what I'm about to talk about.

But it's an entirely different beast from when I'm convinced the universe has a target on my head, and I can see into a future where my continued existence sets off a series of events that ends in the deaths of my loved ones and innocent strangers. Or when I'm convinced I have some kind of psychic poison that excaberates the mental illnesses of anyone I spend too much time with. Or many years ago, when I was convinced suicide was the only way to enter the Matrix-like world I was Called To.

I know it sounds crazy. (It is!) But these aren't uncommon delusions to have, and newsflash: we're in just as much danger as any "classically" suicidal person, if not more, because goddamn, when the stakes are "everyone I love will die if I don't do this", you might get pretty damn desperate. In that moment, to you, what your faulty brain is telling you is your reality.

Keeping this shit a secret makes it worse. Delusions kind of feed off the fear of being found out; the more it's kept secret, the more it snowballs, at least in my experience. Some of my biggest coping skills include telling my support system (therapist, partner, close friends) when I'm Going Through It, and I'm lucky that I have people I feel safe enough around to even kind of vaguely talk about it with.

The stigma kept me from telling anyone for years, and most psychotic people will, sadly, have a similar story.

It's also intensely traumatic. Even when you're not actively symptomatic, the memories of the things you saw and Knew thought and experienced still haunt you. It took me over a year to open up to my therapist about the first break I had six years ago. I sobbed my fucking eyes out and was shaking so hard.

I know so many others who will tell you they suffered with symptoms alone for so long. Which is really traumatic in and of itself, but it's even worse when you feel like you can't even talk about it when it's over, because everyone looks at you like some Weird Crazy Person. You can't talk about it, because it's not #Relatable and people believe the stigma.

I want you guys to realize one thing: Psychotic people are human.

We have dreams and hobbies and loved ones and goals and histories and complex emotions just like everyone else. We want love and acceptance and contentment just like everyone else. We just have brains that like to Fuck With Us.

And it's lonely. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but God, I wish it was okay to casually say "I had a bad break last night" or "I'm having a really scary hallucination right now" or "I went through a year-long psychotic break", just as much as it's okay to say "I'm just coming out of a depressive episode" or "I think I'm having an anxiety attack" or "I suffered PTSD for a few years".

Especially in circles meant to discuss mental illness.

When your friend tells you of their terrifying hallucinations, or their delusions that don't make any sense to you, or their paranoias, please, please, just be there and listen, if you can. Ask questions, check in, see how they're doing. Our struggles may look different, but we're still experiencing pain and fear and loneliness.

And if you need to be able to relate to someone to feel compassion, I urge you to relate to that.

Go hear them!!!! They're amazing 😍

you can stream rust here.

top 10 gayest killers’ songs

10. the ballad of michael valentine: literally just a song about how cool this guy is

9. midnight show: “DRIVE FASTER BOYYYYYYYY”

8. sam’s town: wanting to get out of your hometown is gay culture at it’s finest

7. on top: i mean………… it’s called…………

6. read my mind: not even explicitly gay but could you even imagine a song this good being about straight people? + “a subtle kiss that no one sees”

5. bones: the juxtaposition of sneaking away on the back roads and clarifying that “i don’t really like you” vs the reassurance of “it’s only natural.” the confession of “i never had a lover / i never had a soul / i never had a good time.”

4. mr. brightside: the ambiguity of the jealousy making it gay no matter the gender of the person singing is like… the definition of iconic. the jessie’s girl of this generation.

3. when you were young: the experience of “this isn’t what i pictured for myself but like. yeah. it makes sense.”

2. somebody told me: if you’re bisexual and you ever listen to any song other than this you die immediately

1. andy you’re a star: i don’t know where to begin with this one since every lyric is literally unambiguously gay. the restraint on the “hey shut up.” the facade of indifference on the first “in the car with a girl / promise me she’s not your world” vs the desperate outburst and almost-voice-crack on the second one. the vivid memories of your first unrequited middle school crush every gay person gets when listening to it. the killers singlehandedly invented gay rights thanks for listening

source

So if you lived in a society where you had to secure your communication in order to be yourself around others, here are the apps that could help you do that.

To everyone who sees this:

My home country, Myanmar (Burma) is in a serious situation.

On the first of February 2021. the military seized power. They had detained government officials, including our State Counsellor, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi and our president, U Win Myint.

Every form of connection, both wifi and mobile data, all was cut off this morning. We did not know what was happening for the whole of the morning, until 5 in my house when the internet was back on.

They had cut all news channel, we do not know what really is happening inside our country other than their power seizure, and we do not know what is happening in the world right now. Every news channel except the military owned are now cut.

There are now curfews to stay at home after 8pm in Yangon, whether the same law apply to other cities are unknown.

There is not much we can do as citizens other than hope that our little voices reach the world. The best we can hope for is.

I am in the dark and cannot shed much light on the situation. You might have heard and know better by now. The 8888 uprising is one that had happened in the past, we hope this is not another one. Some think that the worst may result in our country disappearing off the face of the Earth, but I can only hope for the best.

The internet and electricity may be cut off again at 12 in the night, Myanmar Time, but some said this is a rumour. I do not know yet.

Spreading awareness on this situation is extremely important to us, we are no strangers to being left in the dark corner for a long time.

Speaking from my heart, I hope that we can stand as a union of humanity, rather than divided by any borders or nationalities. The military oppression will not only affect our country, our children, our lives to the biggest extent, it can tear the centuries our country had survived into nothingness. In the 88 uprising, countless bodies had been buried alive, the streets had been covered with blood, and tears drown the country. We can only hope this is not 88 again. 

To every bystander, to help us, spreading awareness is important. It’s extremely important to research as well and get to the bottom ( and avoid circular reporting), and I will try to explain as much as possible if there is time. 

There was another announcement that all travel to outside the country will be shut down till April 30.

This is a petition you can sign:

https://www.change.org/p/boris-johnson-we-would-like-to-report-about-the-military-coup-in-myanmar-burma

I looove when food is in a bowl. Frequently plates are being brought out and I'm thinking this could've been a bowl meal but nobody gets it

I'm just now getting into Contenders, what do I need to know? What's the tea?

Ok I was going to just have a jokey answer like “haha what is overwatch contenders, blizzard sure never heard of them” but legit my body had a visceral response that refuses to let me fuck this up so here is a too long info dump:  Overwatch Contenders is the official Tier 2 (T2) league for Blizzard’s overwatch esports. It is split into 6 regions: NA, SA, EU, CN, PAC, KR, AUS. (North America, South America, Europe, China, Pacific, Korea, Australia). Each hosts games based on their own time zone, have their own schedules etc etc.  Liquidpedia has all the most updated info on schedules , standings and players Supposedly it’s the next step down from Overwatch League in terms of the path to pro, it’s suppose to be the direct pipeline of talent to OWL but lets be real, other than Boston Uprising, OWL hardly ever scouts outside NA and KR contenders.  in 2020, the format of Contenders have changed drastically from previous years, its alot of stuff that im not going to go into about points and how teams can come up from Overwatch Trials to keep the path to pro dynamic but it also kinda fucked the broadcasting for most of the season so :/ 

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2020 stream links (youtube) : 

English Streams of all regions here . Contenders KR in Korean can be found here. Contenders SA in Portuguese can be found here . Contenders PAC in Taiwanese can be found here . I used to watch CN in mando on cc but they have since switched streaming platforms and I have no idea where to find it now sorry. 

Previous years were streamed on twitch and vods can still be found on there:

Eng / SA  (esp) / KR / PAC: TW | TH / CN Boardcastgg did English language streams for almost all regions in 2018 and 2019 and they also have loads of vods review and t3 tournament coverage ! go give them some support !

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I think if you want a very good intro to All The Regions, 2019′s Contenders Gauntlet tournament that had all the best teams from all regions is a good starting point. It was a REALLY good tournament from PAC region underdogs to Atlanta Academy and KR’s Element Mystic beating the living daylights out of each other. 

I personally watch alot of PAC and AUS and I highly enjoy them. I would suggest KR for Extremely High Quality Overwatch and CN for the Crazy Comp Aggressive Overwatch. According to @sayasurprise​ who religiously watches EU, it has the potential to be great if their players didnt get funnelled into NA at an alarming rate. NA is A Mess they literally had to do a 5 way tie breaker yesterday? WTF? I’m glad you’re looking into contenders ! any bit of support for T2 helps. Condenters is truly a dying scene, there are barely any prize money, and even then blizzard hardly ever cough up. T2 players and orgs are struggling with not enough resources and not enough coverage and just not enough anything - and the teams with no orgs are even doing even worse. ( I was going to talk about academy teams aka teams sponsored by an OWL org, but for 2020 almost all the OWL team got rid of their academy team :pensive: )