Oooh Ooh Mullet Stan

It’s Stan’s 2nd time in prison and he is bored.

The food is edible, his cellmates are quiet and polite and even the guards treat him with the bare minimum of respect.

Needless to say, Stan hates it. 

Boredom means Stan has time to think about what could’ve been if he had been smarter, better and more like Ford.

If Stan had just known how to fix Ford’s project, maybe he’d still be someone worth keeping around.

With nothing better to do, Stan one day decides to visit the prison library and finds a few boxes full of engineering textbooks abandoned in a corner.

What if Stan could’ve fixed Ford’s project. Could it even have been possible?

Stan swallows hard and picks up the first book.

Meanwhile on the other side of the continent.

“Oh no no no.”

“What is it Fiddleford?”

“I donated the wrong books! All my notes and corrections were in there…”

Stan snorts as he keeps on reading. This McGucket fellow was hilarious.

The book by itself would’ve never kept Stan’s attention, but the notes, snarky remarks, blueprints for villainous contraptions and death rays? Now that’s the stuff!

Over the next months Stan devours one book after the other and when he finally gets released he’s allowed to take the boxes with him as a thank you for fixing and improving the prison’s new experimental computer system.

***

A couple of years later Fiddleford opens the door to a little robot stomping around on the front porch. Mechanical legs on a toaster body with googly eyes that Fiddleford suspects can see more meets the eye.

He kneels down to inspect the cute little fellow when it suddenly notices him, vibrates and starts to talk.

“THANK. YOU. FOR. THE. BOOKS. NERD.”

Fiddleford has no time to figure out what that means before a book shoots out from the slot and hits him right in the head.

“HA. HA. HA.”

The little bot laughs and explodes into fireworks.

Fiddleford watches the show in amazement and inspects his present.

Beginners Guide to Mechanical Engineering

But not any guide. His guide. The one he carried with him throughout college and kept improving upon whenever he could. 

Only now there are more notes added. Corrections to his corrections, complaints about his design choices and disagreements with his theories.

Oh, it’s on!

***

It takes a few days to find the person behind the little prank, an anonymous entrepreneur who is said to be self taught and on the verge of reinventing the world of computers and robotics as they know it. 

Things that people have also been saying about Fiddleford himself.

Fiddleford laughs in delight. He always liked a friendly competition!

So he sends his new rival a little killer robot of his own as a greeting.

***

If Stanford had known what asking his old college buddy to help him out with the portal would entail he would’ve thought twice about inviting him.

It’s not like he isn’t happy for Fiddleford. He clearly found a like minded individual with the same passion for destruction as himself but would it kill them to keep it quiet for once? Stanford is doing important work here!

[Besides if Stanford wanted to he could totally build robots as well. Better ones even. Fiddleford shouldn’t spend so much of his free time fighting with his rival when his best friend was right here!]

Stanford sighs as yet another explosion causes the ground to shake and feels something push against his leg. 

It’s a little possum-like robot bringing him a bottle of water courtesy of Fiddleford’s rival.

Apparently this mystery person felt bad about destroying Stanford’s house one time too many and gifted him this little helper as an apology.

Try as he might, Stanford is unable to hate the thing and lets it climb onto his lap.

“At least you want to keep me company, hm?”

He strokes the fake fur carefully and the robot rumbles in contentment. It feels nostalgic and he knows Stanley would’ve loved it.

Maybe Ford should call him.

I thought this was math.

and what if I told you nine was less afraid of love than ten. what then.

THE SCENARIO IF STANLEY DID HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK FORD FOR HELP THAT TIME BEFORE HE GOES TO GRAVITY FALLS AND FORD IS SOMEHOW CONVINCED TO COME DOWN AND MAKE AMENDS????????????

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

love how netflix wanted to rush the zosan rivalry so much that they had to find a reason for them to not get along and it ended up being extremely gayer than canon

Have an idea for a fic that I’m definitely not going to write.

essentially, ford hits a roadblock in his research, but doesn’t summon Bill. He’s just burned out from all that gifted kid syndrome, trying to power through it. His mother recommended he take a break, and the perfect opportunity for that arrived when Fiddleford calls, asking Ford to be his Best Man, and inviting him to his bachelor party.

in Vegas.

so Ford reluctantly goes with Fiddleford and two of his other friends to the city of sin, and Ford completely DESTROYS the casinos. He’s counting cards, he’s worked out the algorithm for when the slot machines hit a jackpot, and he gets SUPER drunk. Ford is having the time of his life cus he gets to use maths to flex on people. And he’s NOT SUBTLE.

so at the end of the night, the casino take Ford out back, and send a goon to beat him up.

and you’ll never guess who the goon is!

so now Stan and Ford have to work together and try to escape the gangs and crime lords that run 1970s Las Vegas.

I call it Gifted Kid Syndrome.

again, not doing anything with it, feel free to do anything with the idea, up to and including wiping your butt with it. Just like, tag me or whatever.

Senior citizen won tumblr sexyman and it has consequences

"ford dies first" "no, stan dies first"

let's be real. you're all giving the grim reaper WAY too much credit

Hello new followers!! Sorry I haven’t personally posted in a while, so here’s a little something with Mabel n Ghost Ford bonding in the mean time!

EDIT: Stan and Dipper’s turn bonding

Please don’t let fandom ruin something you love. Walk away and unfollow the fans and enjoy the thing by yourself, or find a limited circle of people who ignore the discourse, or get your irl friends into the thing and collectively ignore the Internet community, or blacklist from here to the moon if you need to and only ever scroll through your rarepair ship’s tag on AO3. But don’t let fandom distort a show or a movie or a book or a comic you used to love so badly that you can’t enjoy the original anymore. Please. It isn’t worth it.