GODDDDD I Need Her To Look At Me Like This

“I don’t know about guns guys” 😭

⊹ ₊˚꒷꒦︶⊹ Apricity ₊︶꒷꒦︶

꒷꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒷꒦꒷︶꒷꒷꒦꒷︶꒦ ͘ ˖ ⊹

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader [This chapter], Steve Rogers X Bucky Barnes and Bucky Barnes X Reader [Later chapters].

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Summary: Steve hated you simply because of your past as a HYDRA agent. But now that you have joined the Avengers, will things start to change? Especially after his dear friend, Bucky, seems to only recognise you clearly and you are the only one who can control the Winter soldier.

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Warnings: Gore, PTSD, reader is out-casted, Mean Steve, reader got drugged, torture, brainwashing, anxiety, background character death in detail, electrocution, and just usual trauma that comes with HYDRA.

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Word count: 6.2k

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Tropes: Enemies to lovers, Grumpy x Sunshine, found family, friends to lovers.

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[ Master list ] / [ Next ]

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꒷꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒷꒦꒷︶꒷꒷꒦꒷︶꒦ ͘ ˖ ⊹

Being the enemy of Captain America was not easy.

And being in the same team as him while being on his radar was definitely not easy.

You sighed, staring at your cereal bowl before finally looking up to make eye contact with Steve Rogers, who was already staring you down. It's been months since you joined the Avengers, Fury's and Tony's decision, and yet Steve's scrutiny has only increased. Whenever you go, whatever you do, he is always keeping an watchful eye on you.

You both stare at each other, his gaze burning into yours with nothing but hatred and suspicion while you were just blinking awkwardly at him.

Steve averted his gaze when Natasha cleared her throat as she walked by him as she glared at him, an unspoken warning. You returned her smile as she made her away towards the kitchen.

"Did you wake up late again, Lil Owl?" She inquired, her gaze filled with amusement as she watched you nod.

"My sleep schedule is fucked beyond repair." You chuckled as you stirred your strawberry flavoured cereal.

"You might wanna work on that cause we have an important mission coming up on Monday," Tony's voice made you turn around as you titled your head in slight confusion before he continued, "It's... HYDRA related."

Everyone became tensed at the mention of HYDRA, the air in the kitchen seemed to thicken with a subtle hint of suffocation filling the room. You could feel everyone's gaze falling on you, making you stop your mindless stirring as your mind started to race with the memories of your past.

You were an HYDRA agent since the second World War, some records even speculating that you were in HYDRA well before the war even begin. A killer, a bioweapon that surpassed human capacity. A human turned machine. That's what they used to describe you.

Belladonna.

That's what they called you.

For years you were nothing but a brainwashed machine.

Nothing but a mindless killer.

"We cannot trust her to go on such an important mission. She might sabotage it." Steve's cold voice brought you out of your chain of thoughts as you shifted uncomfortably in your seat under his burning gaze.

The way he looked at you... It lacked any warmth. His gaze told you more than he ever needed to. Hatred and mistrust. And worst of all, lack of respect. You knew that he didn't even respect you, thinking of you as nothing but a human who has no care for the bloodshed you have unleashed, for the pain and suffering you have subjected innocent people to. You knew that he doesn't consider you as a part of the team.

As a part of his team.

You were nothing more than an intruder, a venomous snake waiting for an opportunity to strike and kill. A betrayal in formation.

"Rogers. Cut her some slack, she has been a loyal agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. for three years now. She has guided and led all HYDRA based missions for a year now." You glanced up at Tony, thankful to have him by your side.

Since you have joined the team, it has been Tony and Thor who have stood by your side no matter what. Because of them, others started to warm up to you and slowly accept you as a part of the team.

"And? She has been a loyal agent of HYDRA for 70 years. If anything-"

"Come on, Rogers. Don't tell me you are still salty about the fact that she kicked your ass in World War II." Tony's word immediately made both you and Steve tense up.

During a HYDRA mission, well after a year the war ended, Captain America had the misfortune of going against Belladonna. It left him injured and his men killed.

He was made to protect whereas she was made to kill.

"Stark, you better-"

"Enough, both of you!" Before things could get any more heated, Natasha intruppted them while you continued to chew on your cereal. Both of them continued to stare each other down before Steve finally averted his gaze to glare at you, who was staring back at him with a mouthful of cereal.

"I have my eyes on you, don't forget that." You watched him storm off, being used to seeing him annoyed around you.

"Without context, someone might think that Steve is flirting with you." Tony's comment made you chuckle as your gaze landed on him.

"Oh yeah? And what's your definition of flirting? Death threats?" You shot back, shaking your head at his behaviour while Natasha simply smiled. You both were known to engage in playful banter, a reason why Steve banned you from pairing up after a mission where both you spent more timing being sarcastic than actually working.

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You stared at the layout of the HYDRA building while listening to Tony and Steve explain the plan. It was a simple plan; Get in, Kick asses and Get out, as Tony has put it.

Seemed simple.

A little too simple for your liking.

You glanced up at Steve as he called out your name, "Pay attention. Stop staring at the layout, you can memorize it later."

"There is something weird about the layout." You mumbled, making his eyebrows furrow as he walked to where you were standing to glance at the map.

"HYDRA does not store all of their new weapons in one facility, they are usually scattered across the country so if one base is ambushed, others still have access to the weapons. But according to this layout, this whole area," You gestured towards the array of rooms lined together, "Is for weapons, which is extremely unusual because why would they need such a big room for weapons when the other part of the facility is half its size?"

You could see everyone exchanging glances as they pondered over your words, realizing that it did seem odd.

"What are you implying here?" Steve's voice broke the thoughtful silence from beside you, his body brushing against yours as he stared at you with an unreadable expression.

You bit the inside of your cheek before clearing your throat to explain, "Well... What I am implying is that are we certain that the weapons are not... Bio-weapons?"

"Bio-weapons? What do you mean?" You glanced at Tony, taking in his confused expression, "HYDRA is making a virus or something of that sort?"

"HYDRA refers to their biologically enhanced soldiers as bio-weapons." Steve mumbled, staring at the layout as he considered your words.

Despite his hatred towards you and your past, he always took your words into serious consideration whenever it came to plan formation. It is a quality of his that you respect and look up to. Qualities like this is what makes him the Captain America.

"When I was still in HYDRA a few years back, they were... Trying to replicate their formula, the one they used on me. If I recall correctly, they were successful at creating a prototype but... She died after a few months due to the intensity of the training and the... Brainwashing." You trailed off, biting your lips as your mind flashed with the images.

A woman was laying limply on the cold metal chair, the electrical collar that was attached to her head was lifted up.

She was dead.

Her body couldn't take it anymore.

There were gashes all over her body, small cuts littered all over her chest as her collarbone gushed with blood. You could almost see her bone amongst the onpour of blood rushing out of her collarbone. A metal wire was attached to her collarbone, going deep inside her. They not only brainwashed her but for some sick reason, they pushed the electric wire inside of her flesh, electrocuting her from the inside.

Everything around you felt like a blur, the only thing you could focus on was her eyes.

They were wide open.

Her pupils were dilated to the point it felt like staring at an abyss, at something with was not human. Something that was stripped off of it's humanity and was considered an object.

She was not human.

No, she was a mere prototype.

Her fate was fixed the moment you kidnapped her. She was always meant to die. She fulfilled her purpose and hence the only thing left to do was to kill her.

But... Did she really have to die like this?

Even in death, she seemed to be in agony. Blood trailed down her cheeks, even in death, her corpse was crying blood. Even in the afterlife, the scars of her suffering stayed with her. It seemed like she was suffering even after dying. Forever making her a symbol of HYDRA's cruelty.

And whose fault was that? Was it really HYDRA's fault? Or was it yours? You were the one who kidnapped her, you were the one who dragged her to the facility, you were one the one who gathered all those candidates for the possible prototype. You were just following orders but... If you did not do all those things, she wouldn't have met such a cruel end. She had a beautiful smile and a mother who was waiting for her to return for Christmas. If only you-

You took a deep breath as someone called out your name, making you tear your eyes from the map as you stared at Tony.

"Yeah?" You asked breathlessly, a feeling of suffocating almost overwhelming you as you blinked furiously to clear out your vision as it was hard to see because your vision was blurry.

"Are you okay?" Bruce's worried tone made you wave your hand in front of your face to dismiss his worry, chuckling awkwardly as you avoided eye contact.

"Yeah, I just... I am allergic to dust. Yeah." You lied, staring at the table as your eye scanned for a tissue to wipe your eyes and nose.

You glanced up at Steve in surprise as he silently handed you a handkerchief, his initials written on it with blue thread. He stared back in your wide eyes as it reminded him of a frightened deer. His chest was burning again. An odd feeling of sadness, a sadness that he felt not for himself but for you, took over him as he felt a lump form in his throat.

He hated this feeling.

He hated that look on your face.

He cleared his throat as he saw you hesitantly taking his handkerchief, your hands brushing against each other's as you muttered a small thank you before you wiped your eyes with it.

"So... What you are saying is that there could be more people like... How you were back in HYDRA? Is that were you are getting at?" Tony's voice broke the silence, making you nod as you took a sip of water.

"I cannot be entirely correct as it has been five years since I have escaped but it never hurts to be on a look out." Steve nodded at your words, his expressions hardening at the possibility of HYDRA experimenting on innocent people and turning them into ruthless killers. He hated them. They were the reason for countless deaths, for the death of his comrades. They stole his youth and his dearest friend, Bucky.

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The cold wind blew past you, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. You glanced behind you, your eyes lingering at a dark corner in the corridor before you turned your gaze forward. You can't seem to shake the feeling that there was someone following you. That someone was keeping an eye on you.

You followed closely behind Steve as your hand seemed to be turning white from the grip you had on your gun. In all honesty, you have a bad feeling about today's mission. There is something just not quite right with this facility. By now, you would've encountered at least two HYDRA agents but it seemed like there was no soul around.

"Stark, have you found anyone yet?" It seemed like Steve and others have noticed the lack of activity within the facility as well, judging from the weary expression on Steve's face and the confusion in Tony's voice.

"No, not even a fly so far. It's like they have finally stolen Harry's invisibility cloak."

You almost let out a giggle at Tony's comment, making Steve shoot you a disapproving glare as you covered it up with a cough. You always appreciated Tony's humour, it was well needed in tense times like this. You switched to personal comms as you heard Tony call out your name, "Don't forget you still have to watch the second Harry Potter with Pepper and I."

"Yes, yes." You mumbled back, smiling to yourself before straightening up.

You felt it again.

That weird presence and the feeling that someone was behind you.

A crawling feeling overcame your body and you felt a heaviness behind you, it almost felt like someone was behind you as you quickly turned your head around to check. A long corridor stared back at you, the dim lightening gave it a sickening look. It was like a void, it lacked the touch of humanity. It made you feel cold, extremely cold as a subtle anxiousness settled in your chest.

Steve glanced at you, noticing how tensed you look as you stared back at the corridor.

"Captain... Was that... Was that door always there?"

His eyebrows furrowed at your question as he moved closer to where you were standing, his hand accidentally brushing against yours as he followed your gaze and strangely, there was indeed a door that seemed to have appeared out of thin air.

"It was always there, what do you mean?" You stared at him in confusion and bewilderment.

No, you were certain that the door was not there when you first passed by it.

"Then... Then why did we not check it? We are supposed to check every room." Steve smiled at your words, shaking his head as he stepped closer to you.

You blinked in surprise as he gently pat your head, "Because we need to hurry back home, if we check every room, we will be loosing our precious time. Plus, aren't you looking forward to our movie night? It's friday."

You stared at him for a while before nodding slowly with a small smile. It is true that checking every room will only drag out the mission, what you were looking for is not even inside of that room.

Steve started to move forward, glancing back at you as he gestured you to stay close to him. You followed him, your steps lighter and faster as you felt a rush of warmth through your chest, an excitement for finally being included in the Avengers' weekly movie nights.

It seemed like Steve was finally warming up to you.

Your smile faded as a strange noise reached your ears. A muffled whisper that was far away but at the same time it was near. It sounded like someone was whispering something in your ear but they were being choked and waterboard so the only sound they could make was a muffled groan.

Your feet came to a halt as you closed your eyes to focus on the noise. Your breath hitched as a piercing pain shot through your head.

"He..lp....m...e..."

"Help... Me..."

"HELP ME!"

You stumbled as an ear piercing scream reached your ear. Turning around quickly, you let out a gasp as you saw blood pooling out of the open space underneath the door. Flinching as the doorknob started to rattle, screaming filled the corridor as someone kept banging against the door, seemingly trying to open it.

Steve's hand suddenly grabbed your upper arm, stopping you from rushing towards the door.

Something is not right.

Steve would never ask you to join the move night with the Avengers. He was the one who excluded you from all the team bonding activities that the Avengers held, insisting that if you were present, he would not join.

It was not even Friday.

"What happened?"

You struggled against his grip as the realization hit you, "Let me go!"

"Why wouldn't you help me?!"

"Huh?-", Letting out a scream as you fell backwards, your eyes widened in shock.

No, it can't be...

Blood dripping down her cheeks as her eyes were wide open, her mouth agape as she stared back at you with the same haunting look. The cuts on her body slowly started to bleed as her knees buckled underneath her. You crawled backwards as she fell on the ground, her arms reaching out for you as she dragged her body towards where you were.

You stumbled to get back on your feet as you rushed towards the door, trying to open it as someone kept banging on it from inside.

You froze in fear as you felt the girl grab your arm, her body pressed against yours as she leaned against your head to whisper, "Wake up... Save yourself..."

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Your whole body shook as you opened your eyes, groaning in pain as the bright light shined directly in your eyes. Your arms were tied down to the bed as you heard someone curse loudly.

"Bound her legs quickly!" Your gaze immediately fell on someone approaching you with a rope before you glanced around the room. Panic settled in your chest as you realised where you were and what was happening as your eyes landed on a glass flask that was filled with blood, your upperarm aching as you felt the room spinning.

The guy groaned in pain as your kick landed on his chest, his body hitting the ground. You struggled against the restraints on your hands, screaming as you ripped the handle off the bed, freeing yourself.

You turned towards the guy that was trying to sneak up on you, his footsteps alerting you. You kicked him in the chest before slamming the handles into the face of another person who tried to punch you. Your eyes were burning as everything around you seemed too bright, every sound too loud as you felt a pulsing pain in your head. The smell of blood was overwhelming and you could feel the ropes in your hands rubbing against your skin, the cold sweat dropping down your forehead. You could taste the mixture of your blood and saliva in your mouth as you spit on the ground.

All of your senses were heightened, the adrenaline in your system was overwhelming you as your fight or die instinct kicked in. Your fingers landed on your ribs, pressing an emergency button in your suit to send your location to the Avengers as well as S.H.I.E.L.D. with an emergency message.

A sudden blow to your back made you stumble to the ground as your breathing hitched in pain. A harsh pain shot through your skull as they slammed a nearby metal tray on your head.

You groaned in pain before you body slammed them but to no avail as other HYDRA agents quickly grabbed both of your arms, one grabbing your waist as they tried to grab you away. Your eyes landed on the glass flask filled with your blood.

The guy you body slammed let out a curse as the flask landed on the ground after you kicked it, making the blood spill everywhere.

He looked at you, his eyes burning with rage as he got up. He towered over you, the muscles in his arms flexing under his clothes as he slapped you.

You coughed up blood as the room around you started to spin once again. A realization hit you.

He was a bio-weapon.

The sheer strength he possessed was different from the other agents but it seemed like he was a defected bio-weapon as your eyes landed on his code.

D-04.

Defected experiment number 4.

You felt weak as you gazed at an agent walking towards you with a syringe.

No... You cannot let them have your blood.

You glanced at the bio-weapon in front of you before you mustered up all your strength to kick him in the balls. Pulling your arms in front of you, you slammed the agents that were holding your arms into the bio-weapon while stomping your foot on the foot of the agent who had his arms around your waist to restrain you.

The agent with the syringe froze as your gaze landed on him, the murderous glint in your eyes not going unnoticed by him as he subconsciously took a step back when you started walking towards him.

A sudden breeze flew against your face as you saw a glimpse of something blue passing besides your face before you turned your head to see Captain America's shield hitting D-04. You saw him rush towards you as you stumbled on the ground, his arms stopping you from falling face first on the ground.

The others rushed inside as well, their eyes immediately falling on your weakened state in Steve's arm and the blood surrounding you.

Your gaze landed on Natasha, her lips moving but she sounded far, like a distant wave crashing over at the beach. You sniffled as you felt something drip down your nose, the metallic smell confirming your suspicion of a nose bleed. You felt everything and nothing all at once. You could feel every touch, smell every drop of blood, hear every sound, see the brightened light that loomed over you and taste the blood in your mouth. It was all too much.

Steve stared down at you worriedly, your discomfort on only growing as the second passed by awfully slow. His gaze landed on your eyes, the light and the tears in your eyes made them look extremely glossy as they shined like diamond. Despite their beauty, he couldn't help but feel unnerved by how dazed they look. It was as if you were looking right through him and not at him. He has never seen you so distressed and out of it. His gaze shifted towards the crimson floor before travelling up to your arm. Your sleeves were torn off and your arm has started to swell. He had a feeling that the blood was yours. A pang of anxiousness hit him as he thought about you getting critically hurt.

"Hey, hey, look at me. I am going to get you out of here, okay? Hold tight." You nodded slightly at Steve's words. His hands gently clasped around yours, making you wince as he wrapped your swollen arm around his neck.

He paused before standing up as he glanced at your face, noticing the nose bleed you had. His hand reached towards your face, hesitation clear in the way his hand stopped right before grabbing your face. You blinked slowly as you titled your head in slight confusion before nodding slowly as he asked, "May I?"

His gloved hand slowly cupped your face, the rubbery texture of his glove rubbing against your skin made you cringe a bit as even the slightest touch seemed too overwhelming for you. His thumb slowly wiped the blood away, his touch gentle as if he was scared that you will get hurt further.

For a moment, it seemed like everything around you had gotten silent. All you could focus on was the way he was staring in your eyes. The way his blue eyes looked like the sky before the storm. Calm, collected yet stirred up with an onset of complex emotions ranging from rage to concern. Your eyes trailed down to his neck, the way his Adams apple moved slightly when he noticed your gaze shifting as he swallowed.

Steve was the first one to break the eye contact as Tony's voice broke you both out of trance, "Move it, upcoming lovebirds who have just gone through an emeies to lovers trope! She needs medical assistant, she lacks the plot armour!"

Steve shot Tony an annoyed glare but started to hurry outside of the facility. He passed through the door of the lab you were in, halting when he felt your hand on his neck.

"W-wait... My blood... You have to wipe it... Don't let them get any..." You mumbled, struggling to find the words as your brain seemed to have given up on you.

"What do you mean?"

"It's..." You trailed off, struggling to find the proper words to explain as you stuttered. Steve stared at you patiently, something he always does whenever you have to say something that appears to be important. Finally , you found the words to explain, "Like... My blood has the DNA segment of the serum, right? The only version that, despite not being the serum that you had and not being as good as it, worked efficiently. They didn't realise it until a few months before I escaped. I think..."

"They are trying to replicate the serum that is in your system." You nodded as Steve finished your sentence, his jaw clenched as he realised that the whole mission was a hoax to lure you in and if Tony did not insist of making your mission suit and installing multiple security and emergency measures in it, who knows what would've happened to you. For all he knows, they would've captured you again, turning you into the mindless machine you were all those years ago.

For some reason, his heart clenched at the possibility of HYDRA turning you into Belladonna again, triggering your alter ego and using you as the mindless killing machine. He cannot fathom the cruelty of stealing away someone's humanity from them, someone consciousness from them and using them for their own selfish agenda. Someone who was as bright as you, someone whose as lively as you being turned into a heartless machine once again arose an empty feeling in his chest, one that made it hard to breath and the lump forming in his throat made it harder for him to speak.

Clearly his throat, he started to walk towards the exit of the facility, "Don't worry, S.H.I.E.L.D. is on their way. They'll ensure that not even a single drop of your blood can be stolen."

He glanced at you nodding slowly, your eyes fluttering shut as you leans your head against his shoulder.

꒷꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒷꒦꒷︶꒷꒷꒦꒷︶꒦ ͘ ˖ ⊹

You watched an S.H.I.E.L.D. agent make his way towards you with a cheerful smile on his face. You returned his smile, sitting on the bed at the compound's medbay. You had just woken up a couple hours prior and after a quick glance at the clock, it appears like you were out for a day. It was not unusual for you to sleep for extended period of time when you needed to recover as HYDRA would often put you in cryo induced sleep, which has now become a habit of your body. To sleep the pain away, both physical and mental.

Your attention was pulled towards the agent again as you saw him pull out a syringe, an unsettling feeling taking over your body as you saw him prepare it to draw blood.

"Um... What are you doing?" He paused in his tracks, his smile going a bit lip tight as he stared at you in silence for a minute.

"We need to draw your blood to send it to get tested to identify what drug they induced you with. It's a safety precaution." Something about his words rubbed you wrong as red bells rang in your head. You have often gotten hurt in past missions and are no stranger to getting druged once or twice during those missions as well but S.H.I.E.L.D. has never done this safety precaution before so why would they do it all of a sudden?

Your luck seems to finally shine through the dark clouds like sunshine peaking through after a dark storm as Bruce made his way towards you after noticing your discomfort.

"What's the matter here?"

The agent seem to froze at Bruce's question but you noticed the grip he had on the syringe seemed to have gotten stronger. After a moment of silence, Bruce glanced at you for answers.

"He wants to draw my blood to test it. Apparently it's a safety precaution by Director Fury." Bruce's eyebrow furrowed at your words as he casted a quick glance at the agent. Bruce seemed to have noticed that something was off about the agent as well as he walked in between you and the agent, purposefully shielding your body with his own.

"Yeah, no, I will have to ask you to leave as she has already lost a significant amount of blood and we cannot let anyone draw more from her until a few days. You can come back within a few days to draw her blood after we have confirmed this 'safety precaution' of yours with Nick Fury." The agent seemed to have frozen in place as he stared at Bruce with a hard expression.

"We cannot do that, we need the blood today-"

"What blood?" All of you turned around to stare at Steve as he walked towards the bed you were sitting on, his eyes narrowed as he stared at the agent, "Who are you?"

The agent's body became tensed as Steve stared him down, "I am from S.H.I.E.L.D., there is a safety precaution that we need to-"

Bruce cut him off as he turned to face Steve, his expressions giving away his weariness and annoyance, "He is trying to draw some blood from her."

Steve's eyes immediately fell on you peaking from behind Bruce, his eyebrows raising as he made eye contact with you. You stared back at him before nodding silently to show that what Bruce said is true. Steve's face hardened as he stepped towards the agent who took a step back as he nervously looked at him.

"I am going to ask you to leave and you will without any complaints."

"But-"

"I said, and I repeat, leave."

The agent stared at Steve before his gaze fell on your face, an unreadable expression on his face before it slowly turned into one of anger and desperation. Something about him was off and everyone in the medbay could identify that. None of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that were assigned to you acted like this because they were always high ranking agents. Fury always assigned the trusted agents with the task of interacting with the team and completing any safety precautions to ensure confidentiality.

The agent nodded slightly before reaching inside his pocket. You could see Steve's body immediately tensing up, subconsciously preparing to attack at any given moment if needed. Even Bruce seemed to have picked up on Steve's alert body language as he stepped away from him slightly and shot a worried glance at you. You titled your head, slightly confused as to why he seemed so worried about you because you are well capable of taking care of yourself but then you remembered his tendency to get worried about all the members whenever they are injured. Biting your lips, you tried to stop a smile from growing on your face at the possibility of Bruce thinking of you as a member and being worried about your well-being.

You were pulled out of your cheesy chain of thoughts as you heard Steve's fist coming in contact with the agent's face as he landed on the ground. You cringed slightly as Steve stepped on the agent's wrist before bending down to force the knife out of his hand.

"We need to be on a lookout- Woah there, seems like HYDRA needs to give their spies better training. How low is their budget to train their double agent this poorly? Do you need funds?" You couldn't help the chuckle that escaped you despite the seriousness of the situation as you saw Tony walk up to the HYDRA agent on the ground. "We just got alerted that there is a HYDRA spy cosplaying as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Thought it would be a tad bit harder and fun to find him but alas, HYDRA sure knows how to kill joy."

Steve shot Tony a disapproving glare as he continued to make sassy comments on the situation before sighing as he shook his head, knowing that nothing can stop Tony from being the diva that he is.

"Let's get you to the cell now, shall we?"

꒷꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒷꒦꒷︶꒷꒷꒦꒷︶꒦ ͘ ˖ ⊹

It's been a few hours since they have taken the HYDRA spy down to the interrogation room. A few agents from S.H.I.E.L.D. have also arrived to interrogate and gather information from the spy. You have finally been discharged from the med-bay after strict guidelines from Bruce on how to take care of yourself for a speedy recovery despite the fact that you already recover faster than a normal human due to the super soilder serum. You were smiling the whole time he was explaining the importance of taking proper care of your body to ensure a speedy recovery. He seemed taken aback when you explain the reason why you were smiling so much was because this was probably the first time in 70 years that someone was so worried about your well-being and that it kind of reminded you of your friends and mom back in the days who always treated even minor injuries and illness as the end of the world and scolded you while simultaneously taking care of you.

The cold breeze felt like heaven against your sweaty body, making you paddle your bycycle harder to increase the speed. Closing your eyes, you imagined that yourself as a pirate who was on a quest to sail the seven seas as she stood proudly on her ship as the cold breeze hit her face. Your imagination was cut short as you bumped against a speed breaker. You felt your body lunch forward as you lost control of your bycycle before a sharp stinging sensation on your knee made you hiss in pain. The gravel underneath your body dug harshly against your body, the tiny rocks digging against your skin uncomfortably.

Someone called out your name before all your friends circled around you in worry before the redhead pulled your body in a sitting position, wrapping his arms around your shoulder as he ended your dramatic display of laying on the ground as a dead body, "Oh my god! Star, are you okay?!"

"Of course she is not, you Dumbo! Her knee is bleeding!" Another friend of yours sassed, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at you both with a expression that mirrored a single mom who is extremely done with her children after working a 12 hour shift for minimum wage.

"Aye, who you calling a Dumbo?"

"Are you that much of a Dumbo that you cannot even figure out the fact that I am calling you a Dumbo?"

"Aye-"

"Guys! Cut it out!" A third voice intervened their bickering as the Venus rolled her eyes at their behaviour. The boy holding you, Mars, pouted as he looked away for a second before glancing at your bleeding knee. Juno huffed as he crossed his arm, his muscles flexing under his shirt, decided not to say anything to save himself from the earful he would receive otherwise.

"Can you walk?" Venus asked as Mars slide his arms under yours as he slowly pulled you up into a standing position. A stinging pain shot through your knee, making them buckle as Juno quickly caught you in his arms. Venus sighed as she looked at you before shifting her gaze to Juno.

"Carry her home, Mars and I will take care of the bicycles."

Before you could protest, Juno slid his arms under your legs and carried you home bridal style as a surprised squeak left your mouth as he stared at you with a shit eating grin. You recognised that expression immediately as your eyes widened, he is gonna do something. You heard Mars and Venus yell at him as he started to run towards your home while laughing. You may not remember a lot of things but you do remember one thing clearly; His laugh was contagious and precious. You ended up laughing all the way home, forgetting about the stinging pain in your knee.

You don't clearly remember what happened next but you if you remember correctly, until your knee was fully healed, Juno carried you everywhere while Mars and Venus tended to your every need. Thankfully it was summer vacation so you didn't have to bear the embarrassment of Juno carrying you from one class to another.

A warm feeling filled your chest at the fond memory. It was something you thought about a lot. You cannot recall their names so you made them up. You remember your nickname being Star, hence why you named them after the planets.

You smiled to yourself, thinking about the memory. JARVIS voice quickly pulled you out of your thoughts as he rang an emergency message throughout the compound.

"Intruder alert, I repeat, Intruder alert! Please stay calm and stay where you are."

A realization hit you.

The Bio-weapon and the spy are in the interrogation rooms.

HYDRA is here to take back their Bio-weapon.

꒷꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒷꒦꒷︶꒷꒷꒦꒷︶꒦ ͘ ˖ ⊹

Author's note: Guess who's back? Back again? And now with a series! Anyways, if you would like to be added in a taglist, please let me know in the comments!

꒷꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶꒷꒦꒷︶꒷꒷꒦꒷︶꒦ ͘ ˖ ⊹

You were all too late. This was my last straw…

I’m doing it.

Stay tuned <3

I did it >/////<…

HANDSSS

nawwwww

#needthat

dude… your so mean im crying over a FUCKING FANFIC at 12am🥲🥲

Should Have Been Me - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: You and Caitlin are home for a weekend to celebrate her brother's birthday - one thing leads to another and nothing is the same.

Warnings: ANGST - PURE ANGST, read at your own will. I would apologize but that would be a lie...

Word Count: 6.3k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: Please don't ask why I did this, I needed the pain. Just let it be. But low-key this is probably one of my favorites that I’ve written. Okay great, thanks!

You and Caitlin are jamming out on the drive home to Des Moines. A few weeks back she mentioned how her younger brother's birthday was coming up and she was planning on making the trip home to be there. She didn't need to ask, knowing you would come.

The two of you grew up together, meeting on the first day of first grade. You two were inseparable. If you weren't at school together, you were at practice or at each other's homes. Your parents accepted when you were girls that they both had two daughters even though she was the only girl among her siblings and you were an only child. You were all essentially one big family.

It came as no surprise to either of them when Caitlin and you told them you were dating in high school. It was a little bit of a hard pill for her parents to swallow but ultimately were supportive of your relationship when they saw how happy you made Caitlin as more than a friend. It wasn't a hard decision when the Hawkeyes came around and scouted both of you out to play college basketball with them. It was both of your dreams, to play college basketball and ultimately make it to the NCAA championship. Eventually to play in the WNBA and that all was coming true right before your eyes. It was the cherry on top that you two were able to do that together on the same team. Not only is your chemistry incredible off the court, but on the court - it's unmatched.

This is your last little getaway before things pick up going into March Madness. Senior year baby and the two of you know you can the team all the way back to the final four.

You pull up to her house and grab your bag from the car. Even though your home was right down the street the two of you planned to spend the Friday night at her house and then head to yours for Saturday night. It works out well as her brother's birthday party is tonight.

Once you get inside, you see her mom going crazy trying to get everything in order before tonight You set your things down and immediately help out wherever she needs. Caitlin does the same but takes some time to catch up with her dad first. Once Cait and her dad jump in, it all comes together.

People begin to arrive and the party comes together. Their home comes to life with friends and family from all over.

Caitlin's mom comes running over to Caitlin and you in a slight panic.

"Caitlin, I need you to go grab Colin from his friends," she says looking at her phone.

"Doesn't he have his car? Why do I need to go grab him? I told Dad that I would help him get the lights up for the party before everyone got here and we are behind." She says getting a little flustered herself.

"His car isn't starting and his friend is out of a car so they have no way of getting here," Caitlin's mom explains.

"I can go get him," you say. "That way you both can stay and finish anything that is needed."

"Oh, you are an angel, sweetheart! Thank you, thank you, thank you," she says while giving you a hug.

"It is no problem, it's my pleasure," you respond and give her a smile. Caitlin gives you a look of gratitude.

Caitlin's mom sends you the address and you give Cait a peck before heading out to grab the boys.

Once you get in your car, you put on your favorite playlist and maps then head out. It was only about a 15-minute drive there. As you are driving, it is just starting to get dark. Your lights turn on automatically as you are driving. You are about 5 minutes out when you are stopped at a light. Once yours turns green, you begin to go and that is when time stops.

*Third person-ish POV*

Caitlin's mom walks over to her and her dad as they are setting up the lights. They are just about finished putting them up - it took a minute to do but they look really good.

"Have you see your little bother yet? I thought they would be back by now," her mom says looking at her phone.

"I am sure they are almost here, Mom," Caitlin says as her arms are holding up the last string of lights for her dad.

"I'm sure you're right," she says as she walks away and goes to tend to the food.

Once the lights are complete, Caitlin goes to look for you. She looks all over the place and can't seem to find you. After about 30 minutes of looking, she finds her mom.

"Hey mom, have you seen (y/n)," she asks, checking her phone to see if there were any messages that she missed.

"I have been trying to call her. Your bother called and asked when we would be there to pick him up," she says and Caitlin begins to get nervous. Looking at the clock, she realizes it has been about an hour since you had left to pick him up and it should have taken you 30 minutes.

Cait gives your phone a ring and it goes straight to voicemail. She begins to look around for your parents, knowing they were here to see if they could get a hold of you. When she finds them, they say they haven't seen her yet.

"Caitlin, can you go get your brother, please? It has been over an hour in and he is still waiting for (y/n)," her mom says, not looking up from her phone. Caitlin grabs her mom's keys and heads out.

As she is driving, she notices there are police detouring cars. Her heart rate begins to pick up. She has to tell herself that it's not you, it couldn't be you. There was no way, you had never been in an accident and you are the best driver she knows. She slows down and makes a slow turn following the detour when she sees it. She sees your car flipped on its side, completely crushed on the driver's side.

She pulls her car over immediately, gets out, and runs to the scene. There is caution tape around the whole area which she completely ignores and runs over to the first ambulance she can see. When she looks inside, she sees a man with a cut on his forehead and arm in a sling. Before she can continue looking, there is a police officer approaching her.

"Ma'am, you can't be over here," he begins to say as he tries to usher you out of the caution-taped area.

"That's my girlfriend's car! I need to find her!" She says as she is in full-blown panic now.

The officer's mannerisms change completely when he hears that the girl in front of him knows who was in the car that was hit.

"Come this way, ma'am," he says in a gentler tone this time.

"No, I need to find (y/n). That is her car, she is here and I need to find her," Caitlin says not seeing the officer's demeanor changing. He grabs her arm and tries to get her to look at him. When she looks at him, he speaks again.

"You should come this way and we can talk," he says slowly, not wanting to spook you. Caitlin goes into a haze. She stops trying to fight the officer and lets him lead her to an easy-up tent that has been set up with lights. He offers her a chair and a bottle of water and sits next to her.

"Would you happen to have contacts for her parents? Someone else we can call to come down and be here with you?" The officer says, still not telling her what happened or where you are.

Caitlin pulls out her phone from her pocket and hands it over to him with your mom's phone number on the screen. Up to this point, no tears had fallen from Caitlin's eyes - if she was feeling anything it was anger. Why wasn't anyone telling her anything? She still had no idea what had happened. The officer passes her phone to another officer and they make the call.

"Can you please tell me what has happened and what's going on? I want to see her, is she okay?" Caitlin begins asking the officer again. She is doing everything in her power to not completely freak out. Her body is numb and she is confused as to where you could be.

"It would be best to wait for her family to be here," the officer begins but is cut off by Caitlin.

"I am her family." She says without hesitation. It was true. Not by blood and not legally, at least not legally yet but between growing up together and the relationship the two of you had been in for the last 6 years, it was only a matter of time before you were married. She had been your family since day one and everyone knew that.

The officer gives her a somber smile and a nod. Giving her a pat on the shoulder as another officer calls him over.

Caitlin sits there and waits, trying to look around at other ambulances to see if she can see you in any of them. If you were hurt, maybe they had already taken you to the hospital and didn't want her to drive in the state she was in.

A few moments pass and Caitlin sees both your parents and hers come running up to the scene. Caitlin stands and immediately hugs her mom. The tears begin to fall the second she is wrapped in safe arms. She still has no idea what is going on but at least now she is not alone.

The officer approaches asking your parents if they are they say they are. He takes them aside and begins explaining what happened. Caitlin breaks away from her mom to look over and see your mom sobbing with your dad trying to hold her as he sheds tears of his own.

"Mom, what happened? They haven't told me anything, I just want to see her," Caitlin says heart beating faster than a race car. Seeing your parents crumble before the officer has her feeling sick. She can't stand still as her foot is tapping and her hands keep playing with either themselves or the bottom of her shirt.

Caitlin's dad nods at her mom as he walks over to your parents and the officer. The officer and her dad both look over to Caitlin and her mom as they turn away. Caitlin sees her dad's shoulder slump and his hand come up to his face. He takes another moment before patting the officer on the shoulder and heading back to where his family is.

He doesn't say anything as he approaches, but rather takes Caitlin in his arms and just holds his daughter.

"Dad," Caitlin begins, hesitant in asking how. The last 45 minutes had felt like an eternity as she had been asking everyone under the sun what had happened. But the way her dad walked over and went to hold her, she no longer wants to know what has happened - she just wants to go back to earlier today when it was you and her against the world on the drive home. She can't seem to find what to ask anymore.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." Is all he says as he holds his baby girl. Something your parents are no longer able to do. Her mom rubs Caitlin's arm.

Caitlin's whole body goes numb, she still doesn't really know what happened but knows enough now to figure out nothing is going to be the same. When it begins to hit her, she feels suffocated by the arms holding her. Her first instinct is to run, to break away from here and run. And that is exactly what she does.

She pushes through her dad's arms and runs. She can hear her parents call for her but she doesn't look back.

She runs for hours finally slowing down when her lungs begin to burn so bad that she is gasping for air. Not that she wanted it - if you weren't with her, what was the point? You had been by her side her whole life and now she was alone. Cait lets out the most primal scream and falls to the ground. She curls up into a ball as the tears begin to fall.

Her mind begins to think of you, to the last moment before you left when you offered to pick up her brother. All she gave you was a little peck - no hug, no I love you. She should have held you and told her she loved you. It is then that it dawns on her, she was the one that was supposed to go. It was Caitlin who was first asked to pick up her brother but she didn't want to leave her dad so you volunteered. It should have been her picking up her brother. Maybe if it was her, things would have turned out differently and you would have still been here. As she is curled up on the side of the street - she feels her body beginning to shut down...

It was the summer before junior year of high school and you and Caitlin were heading home from practice for your club team, Attack. She was driving the two of you back to your house when you mentioned you wanted to stop to get milkshakes. She happily pulled over at your favorite local spot. Once the two of you had gotten your sweet treat, you sat in her car drinking milkshakes and talking about all the possibilities for playing college ball.

"Cait?" You ask as she is finishing her milkshake. She looks up at you. "I love you," you say. Up to this point, the two of you had both told each other you liked each other more than friends and started to explore what that looked like. You would say the two of you had been dating for the past couple of months - keeping it really low-key as you didn't know how the people around you would take it. But there was something about this moment, something about being together and just doing life together that helped you realize she is your everything.

She looks at you slightly shocked.

"You don't need to say it back!" You say, not wanting to pressure her. You just didn't want to go another day without telling her. "I just needed to tell you because, well, I do. I love you, Caitlin Clark."

A goofy little smile makes its way to her face and she pulls you in for a hug. It isn't the most comfortable considering you sitting in a car and have some piece of the center console pushing into your rib cage but you didn't mind.

"I love you," she whispers in your ear as she hugs you.

"Caitlin, sweetie," someone is shaking her arm. "Cait, wake up," they continue to shake her, waking her up.

She looks up, eyes foggy and body in pain. It takes her a few seconds to see it is completely dark and that she is on the side of the road. As she looks around, she realizes she is across the street from your favorite milkshake place. It had closed down a few years back but it was often a place the two of you would go to just sit and talk.

As she sits up, she doesn't remember stopping here. She just remembers running and running until she literally couldn't.

"Caitlin, sweetie," she hears again and looks up. It is your dad who has woken her up, she looks around and it is just him. "We have been looking for you for a while now sweetie."

She just nods. Everything rushed back to her. No one has actually said it to her yet, but she knows. You were gone. Her eyes begin to water again as it is all too much for her to wrap her mind around.

Your dad sits next to her, not ready to make his way back to reality. Sitting there with Cait, has him feeling like you are still here. That you are going to walk up and take them both home and tell them that this was all a dream.

“I don’t know if you remember, but I took you and (y/n) here after your very first basketball practice in elementary school. You both wanted something sweet and I didn’t want to go out of the way on the drive home that I pulled over here in hopes they had something that would satisfy you both. We walked in and they had milkshakes,” he says with a little laugh and sniffle. “(Y/n) had never had a milkshake before but you were so excited and told her it was the best thing in the world. Of course, she believed you, she trusted you with her whole heart and soul and you didn’t disappoint her. That afternoon you two shared a chocolate shake, finished every last drop.”

Caitlin is hugging her legs as tears stream down her face. She doesn’t remember that but it makes it that much more special that this place was your spot.

“Caitlin, has anyone explained what has happened?” He asks hesitantly. He doesn’t want to talk about it but he knows that she deserves to know.

She takes a minute, deciding if she really wants someone to say it. Even though she knows you are gone, for some reason having someone explain what actually happened makes everything that much more real. She finally shakes her head no, not daring to make eye contact. She feels like she would physically fall apart if someone looked into her eyes with any drop of sympathy.

“They said it was fast, that she didn’t feel any pain,” he began, hoping that would provide any ounce of peace to her. “When she was going through the intersection, a drunk driver came and blew through their red light. They impacted the driver's side and she…” he is choked up at this point. It’s not right that a father has to say this about his daughter. “She died upon impact.” He finishes, not sugarcoating it knowing Caitlin also preferred the direct approach.

Caitlin at this point is shaking with pain and anger. Her world has completely flipped due to an idiot making bad decisions. She wants to find the man and bring him all the pain she is feeling but knows that will never bring you back. That’s all she really wants, is you back.

Your dad doesn’t rush Caitlin, he lets her feel everything she needs. If he is honest, he also needs this time. He’s been caring for your mom then went on the hunt with the rest of the family to find Caitlin. He hasn’t had the time to just sit. Not that he really wanted to because that allows the feelings to come in and disrupt peace. How does a dad wrap his mind around losing his baby girl? His only little one.

“I don’t know life without her,” Caitlin speaks for the first time. Her voice is unsteady and broken, desperate. “She’s always been there, I don’t know how to be here without her,” she says as she lets out a cry. She bites her arm to avoid completely losing it. Your dad's hand comes to rub her back and bring her into a hug.

"I know she was your person and you were hers. She will always be a part of you," your dad says trying to calm the broken girl you left behind. "But I also know that she took a part of you and that it is going to take time for you to process and heal."

The two of them sit, not saying much after that. After some time, your dad helps Caitlin into the car, driving her back to her home. On the car ride back, your dad calls Caitlin's dad letting her know that she is with him and they can all head back to their house.

When they arrive, Cait's parents come running out and embrace her in a hug. Her whole body was still numb, her cheeks stained with dried tears. She doesn't have the energy to hug them back, rather just stands there. No thoughts going through her head, she doesn't quite know what to do. How does someone continue living when they are no longer whole?

*One week later*

Caitlin is sitting on her bed, dressed in a simple black dress. Her hair is straightened and her nails are black. They are usually painted white but that just didn’t fit her in the moment. She is mentally preparing to face the crowd of people who are waiting just down the road.

She takes a shaky breath and stands from her bed. She walks up to her dresser and puts on a necklace and bracelet - both were gifts from you. She looks at herself one more time in the mirror. As she is looking at herself, she pictures when the two of you were standing there dressed for a friend’s wedding. It’s almost as if she can see you standing next to her.

She hears a faint knock on her door. She doesn’t respond but the door opens and her mom peaks through.

“Hey baby, are you ready” She asks in a gentle motherly tone. Caitlin just nods. Never in a million years would she picture herself being in this boat.

Cait's dad had already driven over to the church with her brothers. It was going to be Cait and her mom driving there just in case she needed some space to be alone.

As they arrive, there is already a huge crowd of people, all of whom are entering the building. Caitlin's heart rate begins to pick up and she begins to fiddle with the bottom of her dress. Her mom grabs her hand, attempting to calm her. Nothing and no one will ever calm her like you did.

She walks in. There have been countless times Caitlin has imagined walking down this aisle with you but under much different circumstances. Her heart aches at the thought of what could have been.

She takes her seat in the front row between her mom and her dad. As she sits, she makes the mistake of glancing over at your parents. She can tell they are doing everything in their power to keep their composure but she knows they are faking.

The funeral service begins and your dad is the first to go up and speak. Caitlin's mind wanders elsewhere...

It was freshman year of college and the two of you are heading into your Intro to Psych class. The two of you head to the seats you have sat in since day one. In the middle of class, Caitlin feels a weight on her shoulder. When she looks over she sees you - fast sleep on her.

It had been a busy few weeks between double practices and all the homework you two had. Cait knew you had been bending over backwards adjusting and keeping up with all the university required of you.

She leans down and kisses you on the head. You would always say you are an ugly sleeper - granted you had never seen yourself but you could feel it. Caitlin on the other hand would disagree and say you are the cutest when you sleep. She would always say you looked so peaceful, childlike.

Caitlin also knows that you would be pissed if she let you sleep through the lecture. You were the better note-taker and when it would come time to study for the final - Cait wouldn't hear the end of letting you sleep through the review. But on the other hand, your girl knows how little sleep you have been getting, always working on school work or reviewing plays and making sure you were on top of everything.

You let out a little sigh and lean a little further into her - fast asleep. Caitlin lets out a little groan, knowing she would much rather watch you sleep on her than wake you. She slowly begins to move her shoulder, trying to get you to wake up without being startled.

When you don't budge, she leans down and says your name in your ear. You still don't budge.

Finally, she turns a little, trying not to draw attention to the two of you, and moves her arm to squeeze your thigh.

"Babe, you need to wake up," she says, giving your thigh another squeeze.

"Mmmm, don't want to," you mumble and move to take hold of her arm, wrapping your arms around it like it was a pillow.

"Babe, we are still in class." She says with a little laugh - falling a little more in love with you.

This causes you to shoot up, fully alert by her words. You look around and your cheeks redden immediately. Sinking down in your chair - embarrassment filling every ounce of your body.

She hands you your pen back and leans over to kiss your head once again.

"Don't worry babe, you didn't miss much," she says reassuring you.

Caitlin is pulled back to the present - though she much rather stay in the past. The service was ending and there was going to be a time for people to pay their respects to your family. it was being held at your house, Caitlin hasn't been without you - not having the strength to go over to see your parents. Most of the last week was spent in bed, with the exception of when her mom encouraged her to shower.

When she walks into the house, it almost feels foreign. She grew up in this house with you and now it feels unknown. She walks up to your parents. Your mom engulfs her in a hug, mumbling something along the lines of how much she loves her. Cait then steps over to give your dad a hug. The last time she saw him was when he found her on the side of the road. He hugs Caitlin without saying anything until their embrace ends.

"When you are ready, I have something to show you," he says. Caitlin just nods. She isn't ready yet but keeps that in mind.

As Cait makes her way further into the house, her team is standing there. This is the first time seeing anyone outside of your family since that night.

Kate is the first one to come up to Caitlin and pull her into a hug. Kate is crying as she hugs her. When Caitlin is in public settings - she doesn't tend to cry, she does everything in her willpower not to because someone had to stay composed and when you were around, it wasn't you. She hugs Kate back and rubs her back.

All the girls give their condolences and talk about their favorite memories with you. Kate is holding Caitlin's hand, grounding her.

Caitlin stands there, trying to be polite and listen to how much they all loved you and adored you but she was crawling in her skin. None of this still feels right. Somewhere in Caitlin's mind and heart, she is waiting for you to walk through the front door and tell everybody that there is no one to mourn and that she is okay. But that was all just a dream.

Caitlin excuses herself and decides she wants to be alone. She begins walking and before she knows it, she is standing at the door to your room. The door is closed and she doesn't remember this being the destination she was looking for.

Her breath begins to unease itself as her hand comes to the doorknob. She twists it and opens the door, not yet daring to take a step inside. She stands looking around - the all too familiar space feeling empty. A pain builds in her chest as she walks through and makes her way to your dresser.

She looks at all that it holds. Little trinkets that the two of you saw value in, old jewelry, and many pictures of the two of you. Photos of you growing up and in high school. Her fingers run along your face on all of them - tears finally making an appearance on her own.

She then makes her way to your closet - bringing an old high school basketball sweatshirt into her chest. She inhales the scent of it, dampening it with her tears. She puts it on and hugs her arms around her body. She makes her way over to your bed and runs her hands over it, remembering all the times she had spent the night here with you. She lays down and curls up into a ball.

Looking over, she sees an old teddy bear that the two of you had made at Build-a-Bear for one of your anniversaries. She takes hold of the bear and snuggles into it - finally allowing her sobs to release.

Every time she begins to feel better, she gets hit by another truck. This one being the second biggest only to the night it all happened.

After some time, she finally begins to settle down. She sees your dad pass by. Caitlin gets up and runs to the doorway, calling for him.

"Caitlin," he begins, as he slightly peers into your room. "We haven't been in (Y/n's) room since it happened, we haven't had the strength to..." He continues.

"You said you had something you wanted to show me?" She asks, not really sure if she is ready but wants to know.

"Oh yes, wait here, let me grab it," he says and goes to get something from your parent's room. He comes back holding something in his hand.

He passes it to Caitlin. It is a small velvet box. Caitlin's hands begin to shake.

"When you are ready, you can open it. It doesn't have to be now, but I know it belongs to you." He says as there is some confusion written on Caitlin's face. He explains. "This was my mother's, she passed it down to Y/n when she mentioned the two of you started dating. We have been holding onto it but like I said, it's yours." He chokes out the last part and excuses himself.

Caitlin goes to sit on your bed and just stares at the box in her hands.

She slowly opens the box to see the most beautiful diamond ring sitting in it. Tears begin to fall again as she removes it from the box and places it on her finger.

It's your grandmother's wedding ring. Your grandmother had given you her wedding ring for when you were ready to ask Caitlin to marry you. Caitlin looks at the ring on her finger and clutches her hand to her chest - you were going to ask her to be your wife.

As Cait was going to close the box, a little piece of paper caught her eye. She pulls it out and opens the folded piece. She whispers the words on the page.

"Dear Y/n, It is clear to me how much you love Caitlin. I could see it before the two of you started dating, it was only a matter of time. She is your person like your grandfather was to me. I am giving you this ring for when the time is right and you are ready to build a life with her. May you love each other more and more each day, as your grandfather and I did. I love you, sweet girl. - Grams"

Caitlin struggled through the letter but was glad she did. She realized you had been holding on to this ring for the past 5 years.

*Two months later*

Caitlin was back at school and back at practice with the girls. Each girl on the team took turns watching over Caitlin. It was never said but she knew, at no point was she ever alone except to sleep.

Tonight was her first game back and it has been a love-hate relationship getting back on the court. Basketball has always been her love but it was off-putting being on the court without you. The two of you had played together for so long, neither of you had to think when it came to making things happen. Coming back to practice it was like learning a whole new sport.

As the team was in the locker room before the game - they were getting a talk from Coach Bluder before taking the court for the first game of March Madness.

"We are going to go out there and give our everything. There is nothing we are not ready for - each and every one of you has put in the blood, sweat, and tears and we are going to show the world that this is our time." She says getting the team fired up. Her final words bring silence among the group. "As we go out there, we are going out there incomplete. We are missing someone who has changed this team for the better and when we step foot onto that court, we are walking out there in her honor. Y/n will always be a part of this team and as she carried this team as captain before - she still does today."

Caitlin fiddles with the ring that would have wed the two of you and safety pins it to the left side of her sports bra. There was no way she was walking out there without you with her.

The team lines up in silence - ready to go out and honor you. And that is exactly what they did.

Iowa went 91-65, absolutely crushing the first round of March Madness. Your team fought its way back to the Final Four and Caitlin dedicated every game to you.

The night of the Final Four was a battle - UConn put up an amazing fight, but the Hawkeyes came out on top. After the game - it was decided that Caitlin would step into the post-game press conference. Her first one since your passing.

As she sits down, the crowd takes a second to settle, surprised seeing her out there considering she hadn't been in any of the previous ones despite being an all-star in each of them.

The press starts asking questions about the game and how the team was able to pull the win off. Everything was going smoothly until one reporter asked about you.

"Caitlin, there was a loss on your team right earlier in the season - how has that affected the team dynamic?" The reporter asks.

She was expecting someone to ask but even anticipating the question, it took her some time to gather her thoughts. Just as she was about to speak - Kate stepped up and responded for her. Caitlin was extremely thankful and when Kate was done she finally found the words she wanted to say.

"No one on this team has felt the loss of Y/n more than I have. She was my #1 on and off the court," she says beginning to get choked up. "Her absence is felt deeper than anyone can imagine and this team will never be the same without her."

'I will never be the same without her' is what Caitlin wanted to say but couldn't between the tears that began to fall. Kate passed her a towel, which she gladly accepted. She tried so hard to keep it together but it was all still so fresh.

That night, Kate and some of the other girls spent the night at Caitlin's so she wouldn't have to be alone. It had only been a few months but Caitlin was afraid she would never truly heal from you.

*One year later*

Caitlin was living out the dream the two of you talked about so often. She was in the WNBA and was playing for the Indiana Fever. She had an incredible rookie year and was currently at an awards night where she was going to receive the Rookie of the Year award.

The night was going well and it was time for the award presentation. When they announce Caitlin as rookie of the year, she ascends the stage and accepts the award, giving the commissioner a hug before taking her place to make her speech.

"First off, I want to say a huge thank you to my team - if it wasn't for them taking me in like they did, I wouldn't be standing here today. I want to thank my Iowa team who grew me and shaped me. Thank you to my parents and brothers for always pushing me and believing in me and my ability." She looks down at the award and at her hand that wears her ring. "The last thank you I want to give is to Y/n, my wife." She says it knowing the weight it holds but it comes out so naturally.

"I owe my everything to her. She was my supporter from day one and every day after that she wouldn't settle for anything less than my best. Even when I would say I was giving her my all - she would push me past that, strengthening me and showing me who I truly had the potential to become. I stand before you all today because of her love of this sport, and her love of me." Caitlin makes the slightest adjustment to look up, to anyone in the audience it looks like she is looking up at the balcony but all those who knew you, know that she is looking up to you. "Baby, we did it," she says as a single tear rolls down her cheek. "We are living out our dream."

AN: DON'T ASK ME TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE I WON'T. Please let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

😍😍

Look at his eyes and face. He is so handsome. 🔥🔥❤️❤️

just some lil paige flicks now that im out the hospital finally😫😫

need her in ways this app can’t explain

🤤

guys….

thinking so many thoughts omg i’m obsessed with this picture