"The Italians Wanted To Conquer Hell, Because They Claimed They Had The Copyright Over It, Because The

On the Affini Compact

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says this about the Affini Compact: "Good Luck."

That is not to say that should you cross paths with an affini you're going to die, or be maimed, or have your brain removed only to be placed in another head and shuffled around a planet in and out of other people's heads just to end up in a jar in some random bug's closet. That is the Mi'Go, and they're very sick of all intelligent brain havers assuming they do that to everyone they meet.

Rather, should you cross paths with an affini, your odds of escaping completely unchanged and undomesticated depend entirely on three key factors:

Are you cute?

Are you a present threat to yourself or those around you in any immediate way?

Is the affini single and/or looking?

If the answer to any of the above is a "yes", good luck, because your owner is about to take you home and put a cute little bow on your head. Originating from outside the known galaxy, these plantoid harbingers of head pats and drug fueled cuddles have made quite the name for themselves. They've deposed several independent and very successful planets for the sins of capitalism, and more than a few reputably disreputable hitchhikers have found their way into the loving embrace of an affini and a brand new implant on their spine.

Should you find the affini in your path, be they passing you on the street to your favorite shoe store, waiting outside your home for a wellness check, or be boarding your starship presently as you read this helpful guide, best of luck, try to not give them a reason to domesticate you, and we wish you well in your life devoid of the uniquely perilous joys of hitchhiking.

Good bye and good luck!

For me, it's always been like this

Lined up perfectly on my dash

The path

When I took this photo I imagined a little fella walking down this path on his own little adventure!

Today's Seal Is: Vandalized

go on get amped to the hdg girlies

I kinda wish frostpunk had a larger Fandom here because where else can I rant about the starving british people in my computer?

When I get to pull a MatPat and give the Pope something as a representative of transfem culture, I'm giving him a copy of Human Domestication Guide.

By the way, if you post about being a trans ally, but only ever talk about trans femmes and trans women, we notice. If you never include trans men in your activism, we notice. If you imply trans men don't "need" your help and activism like trans women, we notice. You either care about all trans people, or you don't actually care about trans people.

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