Someday people will realize that the way someone interacts with children can tell you a lot about them as a person, and then they will stop being shocked when people who are constantly harping in about how much they despise the little demons turn out to be freaks....
friendly reminder no one is worth destroying yourself over. doesn’t matter how happy they’ve made you, how long you’ve known them, how cute they are, how sweet they can be. if you’re constantly crying yourself to sleep over them and feeling invalidated and having to blame yourself or make up excuses for them, not worth it. not worth it now. not worth it in the long run.
actually you will not enjoy hearing this but you literally have to abandon your self deprecating humor. besides the fact that it can drive people away you literally are only hurting yourself by constantly making jokes that further cement the idea in your head that you are not good enough. I do not care that you think its a good coping mechanism it is absolutely not and you need to start challenging negative thoughts instead of feeding into them.