Unhinged rant >:(
I want to start this by saying, I know that Demon Slayer isn't an explicitly queer manga/anime because Shōnen Jump, but I believe that Demon Slayer is for the queers and has lots of themes that we can identify with like love, acceptance, loss, guilt and strength.
Despite what these stupid, smelly, ignorant, power-scaling, non-ass-washing, Cheetos-dust-snorting, once-a-month-showering, dude-bros would have you believe, Demon Slayer isn't just another battle Shōnen anime/manga, it's a love story and about the perseverance of the human spirit and if that doesn't speak to the queer experience then I don't know what does.
Plus, I don't know how Gotogue-sensei is as a person, but I think the fact that she managed to make one of the kindest mcs in shōnen speaks volumes about her disposition. I don't think she would be one to reject queer fans identifying with her story so well.
In these recent times, it seems like everything is going to shit, the world is slowly regressing into the dark ages destroying decades of progress and trying to distract ourselves from all this by engaging with the fandoms we love is hard because everything seems to cater to cis, straight, white men.
To be honest, I created this blog mostly out of spite, but I also wanted to carve out a tiny space for myself where I can talk out of my ass and not have some decrepit reddit dude bro go all 'well, ackshually ☝🤓' on me, and I'm happy to have met so many like-minded people.
So, I've compiled a list of answers to the common types of nonsense drivel these fuckers post in response to shipping and queer discussions and theories about Demon Slayer. You can copy and paste whenever and wherever you encounter these black holes of ignorance and stupidity if you want.
In the Taisho era, there were no gay/queer people: This is one of the dumbest statements I've ever heard, and the fact that it's a really common response really shows how we've failed as a society. Queer people have existed for ages all over the world, Japan has an extensive queer history. Demon Slayer is based on samurai culture and samurai culture was really, really, really, really, really, really, really gay. Sure, it had rigid roles, but that doesn't make it any less queer. A quick Google search would go a long way to nourish that dried-out, shrivelled husk you call a brain. Go read a book you walking condom ad, your parents and education system have obviously failed you.
It's forcing sexuality into the story: We literally had a whole season dedicated to the mcs going to the 'entertainment district', we have a sexy man with three wives who talks about 'loving' them all equally, we have the abundant male fanservice, one of the mcs talks about women on the daily, we have a boy who eats demons and is horny shy around girls all the time, we have his brother who exposes his tits because he's proud of them, we have a demon who was essentially a sexual predator that targeted 16-year-old girls and ate them, the main villain shape-shifts into a woman to 'get' information as a Geisha, we have a girl who literally lusts after almost everyone she meets but yea no lets not force sexuality into it 🙄.
I don't care: Okay cool, but I value your opinion as much as I value the shit I took this morning.
It's who they are as a character that matters: Sexuality is a part of a person's character. Your sexuality defines your experiences, decisions, options and outlook on life. That's why you as a straight man can be so ignorant.
It's forced*(I really hate this one): Honestly, fuck you. Why is it that you only think something is forced when it doesn't revolve around you and your experiences? You guys are fine with tons of anime/manga that sexualize women and girls to an insane degree even when it doesn't make sense, but that doesn't stop you from consuming and glazing the hell out of the authors, but when we talk about including queer characters suddenly it's forced? Your existence is forced, and you can just eat shit.
I don't like it: Who the fuck do you think you are dictating how other people consume and interpret the media they consume? How about you go hump your smelly, cum-encrusted anime body pillow.
Men can be touchy/emotional with each other without it being gay, it's just our western standards: No it isn't the majority of shipping activities and works come from Japan, which wouldn't happen if it was just part of their culture. We're not stupid, we know men and boys can be friends without it being sexual, and we know when a friendship is just that, and then we know when two guys are straight up pining for one another.
It's not canon/the mangaka didn't explicitly state it: They can't because of Shōnen Jump, so a lot of them pass off information about a character through subtext, metaphors and allegories. They also don't have to, things don't have to outright stated or 'canon' for them to make sense and if you need them to be so for you to understand or enjoy the story then a moment of silence for your head since it's without a brain.
It's not common: Despite Shōnen Jump, there are lots of mainstream anime/manga that have queer characters: One Punch Man, Hunter x Hunter, Dr. Stone, Windbreaker, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Naruto, Gintama, Dragon Ball Z, My Hero Academia, Fairy Tail, One Piece, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul, Jujutsu Kaisen, Chainsaw Man, Blue Period and that's not to talk of the ones with queer subtext like I dunno ALL Sports anime/manga to ever exist!
Why do you look for LGBTQ in everything?: It might be hard for straights to understand but growing up queer and looking for a connection causes us to develop what we call a gaydar that helps us identify characteristics, mannerisms, features and vibes from a person that screams 'ONE OF US! ONE OF US!'. It's only natural, and our gaydar doesn't suddenly turn off when we're consuming media, especially when it's media that we love and hold dear to our hearts. It doesn't matter if the mangaka inserted these characteristics intentionally or not, that doesn't stop us from picking up on them, and why should it?
Shipping is stupid: So is power-scaling, but that doesn't stop you assholes from making thousands of posts, creating YouTube channels and sharing content about it and cramming it down our throats. It's even worse because it's from grown-ass men.
The characters have no chemistry/they hate each other: A lot of queer ships have more chemistry, history, interactions, personality and development than a lot of 'canon' straight couples. It's literally a trope in media that all a man and a woman need to be in a relationship is to be in close proximity to each other, then their relationship goes on to be drier than salted crackers in silicone packets scattered in the Sahara desert. Well, I guess you can't blame the creators, you write what you know after all.
I know this is a lot and I know how angry I sound right now, but I'm so sick and so tired of all these guys who are as useful to the human race as pieces of freshly shat out dog turds that have been thrown in the grass by the sidewalk in a hot summer afternoon, who can't see past their lice-infested neck beards trying to make something as colorful, interesting, joyful and queer as anime and the fandoms fit their own boring, stupid and misogynistic worldview.
In Conclusion, Demon Slayer is amazing, horny* and unbelievably queer.
*I'm talking about the male fanservice btw :)
Hi!!! I just posted a new chapter of my spider-man AU MCU+marvel 616, spideytorch, team red, anti iron dad fic!!! It contains some shenanigans with May, Wade and Matt. Some MJ (Michelle) and Pete starting their friendship and some group chat shenanigans!! Any questions I'll be glad to answer!!
I actually hate writting dialogue... So sorry guys but that's something this fic will sadly lack...
Unhinged analysis
I stupidly omitted the most crucial, glaring detail to Sanemi's upbringing that contributes to his behavior, especially his anxiety.
Domestic violence.
Let me explain:
In Genya's backstory, we only see the violence committed against Shizu and the little ones, but it doesn't take much to imagine that the boys were also on the receiving end as well.
Sanemi especially would be subjected to this because as the firstborn and the first boy, he would have the instinct to protect his mom and siblings from their father's wrath, it happens a lot in real life. He probably received just as much of a beating from his dad as his mom, if not more.
Studies have shown that children who were raised in violent households are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. They are also more likely to display aggressive behaviors, and some go on to become physical abusers themselves. Some studies have even shown that the brain scans of children who grew up in these households are similar to the scans of war veterans.
You can read about it here, here, here, here and here.
While Genya at least had Sanemi to rely on, Sanemi had no one. Genya even states this in one of the light novels.
Knowing this, it makes sense why Sanemi's so high-strung all the time and grumpy all the time. His mind can't rest because even though he's out of that environment, his body is always in that fight-or-flight mode.
In Conclusion, people need to cut Sanemi some slack.
sanemi’s first reason to hate giyuu is that he’s so fucking pretty
like — after sanemi’s outburst in his first meeting, he’s a bit uneasy. he’s already regretting what he’d said to kagaya, and nearly all of the hashira have scolded him already. except one. sanemi’s curiosity gets the better of him and he tunes out tengen’s rant about how unflashy he was being, turning his attention to a single hashira on the far side of the garden. he’d been told beforehand about the hashira and it hadn’t been too hard to place which hashira was which without being told, so he assumes this loner is the water pillar. upon seeing sanemi’s ignorance, tengen stops, following his gaze.
“huh? — oh. tomioka? don’t bother talking to him. all of us have tried,” he says, waving it off, apparently unbothered by the lack of attention he’d been receiving.
tomioka? sanemi’s eyes trail down the pillar’s body. tomioka wears some unattractive haori — something something, a mesh of colors that look terrible with each other — and he has long, dark hair that rests against his back in a ponytail. seemingly sensing the sudden attention, tomioka turns. he catches onto sanemi’s gaze and something like confusion flashes across his expression for a second before its previous impassiveness takes over. but his eyes remain on sanemi. even from here, sanemi catches the piercing blue, somewhat fitting to the water hashira title. but his mind is far from that. in fact, his mind is far from everything, having short-circuited a moment ago. so it takes him a minute to place his stillness. but then five words register in his mind.
tomioka is so fucking pretty.
sanemi jolts from his stupor, jerking his head to turn back to tengen and kanae. one of the two ask him something, but their questions are lost from him. because: what the fuck. what the fuck did he just think.
his gaze flicks back to the isolated hashira, only to find that tomioka is still watching, something like inquiry in his eyes. this proves only to put sanemi in a worse state. in the next second, he’s pivoting away, heading to who knows where as he rushes away from the other hashira. someone — kanae — calls out to him, but he ignores it, allowing his bangs to slip over his face, hiding the red that tinges his cheeks. what the fuck.
Hi! I'm a 15 year old ff written and this is my fic:
a mix of universe-616 and MCU spidey
a long fic, since the spider bite through a lot of years, like, I'll make it go through the 3 movies and more!!
a lot of platonic team red, vigilante Spidey and him being friends with everyone
anti iron dad and Tony stark as a whole
very focused on platonic relationships and humor
a lot of bonding with the AcaDec team
I'll also add Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane, Harry Osborn and the FF
it'll have slight Liz Allan x Peter Parker but it won't go anywhere
It WILL have Spideytorch!! But it won't happen until we go through the blip, where the FF will appear and we'll see some of them. Then when they win the war Spidey and torch will meet and it'll begin!
I'm very anti shield and you'll see a lot of that if I can
It won't have ANY smut. Sorry guys but I'm aroace and I'm sex repulsed :(
It will have a lot of Peter acts like a spider and vigilante things (so illegal stuff)
Btw any suggestions or ideas are welcome! If you want today know more about the ideas I have just ask!!! (I will put a spoiler alert bcs I'm shit at that) :D
I'm told the old Romita era comics made a number of failed attempts to advance Gwen, and one of them involved taking some of MJ's traits and giving them to Gwen. After Gwen passed away, Gwen then started to be romanticized because she was dead. Did Gwen ever have a personality unique to her or was she always just MJ-lite?
Well... Gwen came first.
The traits she adopted from MJ (at Stan Lee's request) were mostly cool-kid jargon and fashion sense, which are things it makes sense for friends to pick up from each other. They even manage to play it off as cute in-universe characterization.
But they act and think very differently! If anything... MJ was Gwen-lite. Gwen at least got some thought bubbles. MJ started as just eccentric, hot, and self-centered because--well--it was funny.
They have separate lives. Gwen comes from an upper-class household with a cop for a dad and comes off as preppy and sometimes entitled. MJ lives with a working-class aunt and acts more alt-culture liberal but usually isn't on anyone's side but her own. Gwen is getting a scientific degree alongside Peter. MJ is following a long-shot dream of making it big by taking classes at community college. Gwen is Ditko flavored, MJ is Romita flavored.
Gwen is direct and confrontational where MJ is sarcastic and evasive. Gwen will insult someone she likes to get their attention while MJ will flatter people she dislikes just for kicks. Gwen has an investigative bent where MJ has a minding-my-own-damn-business field. Gwen checks in on friends' mental health, angry-cries fairly easily, and asks for help when she needs it. MJ would rather die than have an Unauthorized Feeling.
Gwen is fiercely loyal and cares a lot about things being Fair; she'll get in a stranger's face over something MJ would laugh off. MJ is now known as a combat pragmatist who can hold her own against supervillains, but people forget that Gwen would come at people with her BARE HANDS when she got mad. Just like Peter<3
"boring good girl vs cool bad girl" is the flattest way to read the girls' characterization and I'm sad it's reduced to that in people's minds. I say everything in this post as a huge 616 MJ apologist: Gwen wasn't left behind because she was the two-dimensional one.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot about spideytorch lately (as I am one to do) and a question popped into my head:
What is the most important spideytorch comic panel?
There’s a ton of great options in my opinion, but I think there also is an answer (at least for me) so now I am going to subject all of you to my thought process. Get ready for a way to long post breaking this down.
The most obvious starting point has to be this classic
Johnny Storm is going full house husband for Peter Parker, I mean c’mon! add in the fact that he’s in his undies and the way that he’s leaning over peter… yeah this is a classic. This might be the most famous spideytorch panel out there, but I don’t think it’s the most important one.
Another classic (but more antagonistic?) one takes place, of course, at the usual place.
To me this is peak identity shenanigans and the stuff that fanfics are made of. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the complications that go into the conflicting way these two view identity, oh boy I could talk about that shit for hours, but as an individual moment, it doesn’t really crack most important for me, it needs a bit more affection (they’re very bad at affection sometimes).
Another panel that came to mind very quickly for me is this set.
Johnny literally only had to say his name and Peter knew exactly what he meant and what he needed. This is top tier levels of communication, both between them and from the creators to us. I think this is another one that I could talk about for hours. That being said, it doesn’t feel important enough to me.
A friend in the spideytorch discord server posed this panel as the most important spideytorch moment in the comics.
I’m just gonna put their quote in cause it’s great. “I think this is one of my favorite panels cause Johnny was just speaking generally and Peter was like ‘oh my god! Actual wise words form johnny’ but also, I love that this was a more important moment for Peter than Johnny.” I must say, this entry is extremely important to spideytorch and gave my choice a run for its money. I don’t have a huge reason for not making this one the most important, other than personal taste. For their relationship, this is a key moment and sets them on the path to actually being friends (at least on Peter’s end), but idk it just wasn’t doing it for me.
Another panel I was reminded of thanks to this submission was this moment.
It’s not quite as impactful as the past one by a long shot but I do think it’s important. After being rivals for so long, to see Johnny give a genuine heartfelt compliment to Peter is fantastic (haha). This feels like the other half of the previous set of panels. There we had Johnny encouraging a stranger and here he’s encouraging his friend.
Some other friends in the discord server suggested the moment that Johnny invites Peter over to watch his sex tape (yes this is canon).
(Not pictured, Peter swinging away and saying he needs to take a cold shower). Now I’m not saying that the most important spideytorch moment needs to be serious, but I think this moment might be too unserious to claim that title. This moment was huge for the fanbase because holy shit did, he actually say that, but for their relationship, I just don’t think it was as important as it was to us.
Now I do want to knock out a few honorable mentions that I would hate to miss.
First, this look given to Spidey by Johnny, I mean yeah, he’s in love.
And to balance the lovesick flirty scales I must expose Peter as well.
Next, this heartbreaking moment that basically admits to the audience that Peter’s world becomes chaos when he loses Johnny. That shit hits.
Of course, the moment that gave us the ship name.
A panel that lives in my head rent-free because honestly marvel what were you attempting to convey here other than the fact that Peter really wants to have hate sex with Johnny Storm?
To take us outside of our duo, this quote from Ben Grimm (EDIT: it’s was Peter’s clone Ben Reilly, which honestly only adds more drama), because honestly same.
And of course, I have to include the panel which showed us the first time (on page) that Peter told Johnny he loved him AND gave us canon proof that these two have “date night,” many a fic writer was fed well.
And how could we forget! THE USUAL PLACE! Literally any panel mentioning this is top tier because its so good, like the core of the fandom honestly.
Lastly, before moving on to my own more serious contenders I have to share this parallel that @sciderman shared because I love it.
Now to my serious contenders for the title of most important spideytorch panel (please remember this is all my opinion and I mean no shade). This will be a top 5, but just know some of these rankings are pretty flexible (even flexible with some panels from the beginning), and this question should not be taken as seriously as I am taking it, I am fully aware of that.
Number 5!
So, I know that I discounted the sex tape scene earlier because I didn’t think it was serious enough and it didn’t do enough for their actual relationship, but I had to include this one I’m sorry. A lot of this is personal taste but the implications here are *chefs kiss* The first time I saw this panel was actually on Pinterest with the caption “wait a second, did spider-man and the human torch have sex?” which says it all for me.
Beyond that, this moment also shows how they reach out to each other when they have problems. Strange children show up in Peter’s life and the first person he calls about it is Johnny. Again, this is not the most serious, but I love it. This moment shows the banter of their relationship, how they care about and rely on each other, and also potentially reveals that they’ve had sex. There’s a lot to take in.
Number 4!
I will be honest with you all, this moment is here almost entirely because Ben’s quote lives in my head rent-free. Everyone around them sees how they feel about each other besides them. When they were rivals others could tell they actually liked each other and when they became friends others could tell that it was deeper than that. I think I especially love this panel because it conforms that we’re not crazy for thinking there’s something there but also because Ben specifically cites the way Johnny looks at peter. That is very specific and says a lot. I can’t imagine Ben would say this if the looks Johnny gave Peter were purely platonic, and just ahhhh, there’s so much said here just in one line from Ben. There was of course the Ben moment earlier, which I also love, but something about this one, the more specific phrasing of it I think just shoots it up my rankings a lot.
Number 3!
If you’ve been following me for a while I don’t think this is a surprise at all, I have already done a very in depth post about this panel so I’ll keep my thoughts brief. Red Skull knows that hurting Johnny will hurt Peter, Peter’s Spidey senses go off FOR JOHNNY, and we are given so much angst potential, I love it.
Number 2!
This one is probably a more popular choice than my number one, and I totally get it. The excitement and joy bursting out of Peter when he finally realizes that Johnny is here, he’s real, and he’s alive really gets me. Plus, the added context to the uniform comment being that Johnny literally left Peter his family and his spot on the team in his will. The amount of pure love in this moment and its larger context is abundant, platonic or romantic, it’s there. I feel like everything I could say about this panel has probably been said before, but it is definitely worthy of being the most important spideytorch moment, even if I have one that beats it for me.
Number 1!
For those of you who don’t know, this panel comes from Peter visiting Gwen’s grave and talking to her. That fact alone breaks me in half but then the things he says to her shatter me. Every spider-man fan knows how much Gwen’s death broke Peter, it destroyed him to lose her. Just the fact that Peter admits Johnny brings part of him back is amazing (haha) because that is a hug feat. But then he shatters me even more with his final sentences. After Gwen’s death, we often get a peter who spends too much time as Spidey in order to avoid having to cope with Gwen’s death as Peter, but also as a way to cope with the loss (he’s a complicate man). Spideypool also gets a lot from that arc because of Wade’s reaction to Spider-Man not holding back as much and becoming less of a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and that’s true. The fact that Peter feels like he’s becoming who Spidey is supposed to be again when he’s around johnny is huge! But then! He corrects himself. He’s not Spidey again, he’s Peter. The real person, the man behind the mask, comes back. And then you get the final correction. He’s not just peter again, he’s *Gwen’s* peter again. He is the him that existed with Gwen when he’s with Johnny. That speaks volumes and breaks whatever parts of me are left. How am I expected to read this and not think that Johnny and Peter are soulmates?
Now, I will acknowledge that this is much more of a peter moment than a joint spideytorch moment, much like the moment suggested by discord friend earlier. If that disqualifies it for you as the most important spideytorch panel, I get it. However, for me that doesn’t matter mainly for one key reason. So many classic spideytorch moments show a lot of Johnny having feelings for Peter or making a move on Peter. There have been a lot of times when I’m trying to get a friend into spideytorch, and I feel like I have to clarify that its not as one sided as it seems. Johnny is much more out there with who he is and doesn’t hide his feelings very well (except maybe from himself). So, when we get any spideytorch moment that hones in on peter’s feelings and love for Johnny, that feels so huge to me. This moment alone proves that it isn’t one sided, Peter has deep feelings for Johnny, even if he’s not sure what they are yet, he knows that what they have is special, he wouldn’t be telling Gwen about it otherwise. While it may not be as famous of a spideytorch moment, its an important one, and for me it’s probably the most important one.
Anyway, this has been a way too long post about this topic but if you made it to the end thank you so much! I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this topic so feel free to share those. Also, just a reminder that these are my opinions, and I am not in charge at all so don’t take it too seriously (unless you want to).
If you’re interested in hearing me, go more in depth on any of these panels (or any other spideytorch panels) shoot me an ask because I could honestly talk in depth for a while about most of these panels and I would love to do so. Thank you again for reading this way to long post and good night spideytorch nation.
Linking to a post I made HERE
After Tanjiro's little pep talk the other day, I think Giyú took that on like a silent challenge for himself, to try and make some friends - or at least improve his relationships a little. And Giyú is a man of his word - if he says he'll do something - he'll do it.
So he committed to what he told Tanjiro, and set out to befriend Sanemi. And it got pretty serious pretty fast. I mean he knew how to make Ohagi, but he didn't know how to do it well. Luckily, he knew someone who did...
WORD COUNT: 3.4k
"WHAT?!" Mitsuri's voice rang out, reverberating on the walls of her estate
"Mits, please.." Giyú groaned, raising one hand to his ear and another to his shaking tea.
"Op- sorry." she grinned awkwardly and flushed "It's just that I didn't exactly expect you to be so keen on... making... friends - WAIT NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT I JUST- ohhh I'm not too good at this am I?" she hung her head
"Not really, that's a pretty astute observation though." Giyú shrugged, sipping his tea "Hey, this stuff is pretty good."
"The Master recommended it to me actually! It's form some lovely vendors down by the mansion, down past the pharmacy!"
A slightly uncomfortable silence perused them; Giyú continuing to sip his tea, and Mitsuri quietly brewing another pot at her counter.
He's not speaking at all?!??! Oh this is so painfully quiet!! It's nice to have him here but - IS HE UNCOMFORTABLE TOO??!? OH NO!! I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I DON'T WANT HIM HERE!! THIS IS SUCH A BIG STEP AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE FOR NOTHING AND-
"Do you think this is a good idea? Honestly - do you?" Giyú suddenly uttered, it was so quiet Mitsuri surely would have missed it completely if the room were not this quiet.
Giyú's eyes glinted with confusion "More?? You mean I... have friends already?"
W-what?! Mitsuri's thoughts screamed
"Are... we not friends, Mr Tomioka?" she smiled nervously
"Well, Kocho told me that you likely did not want to peruse friendship with someone like myself. She told me that you were more than likely going to become violently ill if I attempted to initiate a relationship higher than acquaintances with you." spoke with a monotonous voice but he nodded as thought her point was valid.
"HUH?!" Mitsuri shrieked "And you BELEIVED her?!!"
"I trust Kocho." He peered up at her innocently
"Don't." she smiled wearily, patting his back gently before pulling him to his feet "Anyhoo!~ Let's teach you how to DO THIS!!" her voice grew fierce with determination as she hauled him over to her countertop
~~~~~~
After a few long silences, a surprising fit of laughter, and two hours of prepping - they were finished. A fresh batch of Ohagi lay on the table in front of them, and beside it was a written recipe that Giyú could follow in future.
"Thanks, 'Tsu." Giyú muttered, a gentle smile coming to his face "I really do appreciate all this."
"'Course Giyú!" she slung an arm around him "I just hope that Sanemi likes them! I mean I'm sure he will - he's like addicted to these things. If he didn't train to often I really would worry for his health, you know?"
"Hmm..." Giyú hummed, his mind seemingly elsewhere
"Giyú? You okay?"
"Huh? Oh - yes, I was just thinking how Sabito might react to me giving him these..."
"Sorry?" Mitsuri, who had slipped away from Giyú to start cleaning the mess they had made, suddenly spun to face him "How who might react?"
Giyú's brows furrowed, confused by her seemingly redundant question "...Sanemi??"
"Nono you said Sabito…" Mitsuri smiled confusedly at him "Giyú…who's Sabito?"
but she didn't get a response. Instead, she was met with the view of Tomioka clasping tightly to his left arm, a bewildered look in his downcast eyes. is breath began to quicken, his palms and brow growing wet, body beginning to tremble as the Love Hashira drew closer.
"Giyú, are... you alright?" she went to place a hand on his shoulder, but he jolted back from her
"I, uh- I think I should be going.." bowing deeply to her, grabbed the paper on the table and swiftly left the mansion with her following in an anxious pursuit.
"Giyú!! I'm- I'm sorry!! Please just come back!!" but Giyú had taken off in full sprint and was well out of view by now - there was no catching him.
"Shoot..." she clamped her teeth down on a bent finger
~~~~~
Sabito?? Why did I say his name?? Surely he doesn't remind me of-
Giyú was running through this seemingly endless forest when the notion dawned on him. It was a truly awful thought, not one that he could ever admit out loud - but the two were all too similar for him not to have noticed eventually.
"Shit." he hissed under his breath as he entered his home, eyes beginning to sting as he began to disrobe; practically tearing off the uniform he was not worthy of owning. Tossing his mismatched jacket to his futon, he sank to the floor once he had put on something more comfortable.
Then once again, that all too familiar sinking feeling consumed him. that heavy weight on his chest returned, his eyes prickling with tears, mangled sobs parting form his lips. He drew his knees to his chest instinctively, reaching for his haori to bury his face in, the familiar textures only worsening his cries. God, he felt pathetic. It was one word, one name, one stupid, little, insignificant mistake - and it had gotten him this worked up??
He was supposed to be a convincing placeholder for the water pillar, loosing his composure in front of a Hashira was not going to ensure his facade's security. He needed to try harder. Why had he always been so damn emotional?? He was always overreacting to the smallest of things - just like his father had always said to him. Even Urokodaki had alluded to it before...
It was before final selection, and he was so worried that the two of them would not make it home. He was told to remain calm, to stay brave, and not show his fear. He was assured that he would come home safe, practically unharmed. If only he had been assured that Sabito would have been the same…
Sabito... surely that man didn't remind him of Sabito... Sabito was kind... Sabito was gentle... Sabito was determined.. Sabito was fierce Sabito was a fighter... Sanemi was-
"Fuck..." Giyú hissed under his breath, head now in his hands.
Maybe he does... but that's insane...
Giyú raised his head slowly, his unchanging expression still leaking with salted water just as the paper slipped from the inner pocket of his haori. He slipped it into his hands, the smell of the bean paste that stained it lingering in his nose.
As he looked at Mitsuri's tidy, cursive writing, his mind began to wander again. She had put such effort into this for him, just to help him… make friends, god this is almost funny.
Giyū let out a mix of a sob and laugh, climbing to his feet as he set out for his kitchen. If she was so adamant on helping him, then surely this was something worth trying.
He luckily found the ingredients listed in his cupboards, raiding them to find each component of the recipe. If he was going to do this - he was going to do it well…
He was going to make use of what Sabito left to him… one way or another…
~~~~~
“Then I think that is the last of it!” Uzui smiled, adjusting his eyepatch as their makeshift hashira meeting came to an end.
It wasn’t something they needed to do, but it let them keep some kind of normality to their situation, and was a nice excuse to check in on each other.
“Oh and if anyone bumps into Kocho again…” he stretched his annunciation “Tellll her I still have that thing I- Suma borrowed.” He paused for a moment before swatting a hand dismissively “Sh- She’ll know what I mean.”
And as the hashira filed out of the room - the only remaining pair in the room was, as luck would have it, Sanemi and Giyú.
“Igurooooo” Sanemi groaned through a clenched jaw, hurriedly tying his sandals again “bastard - all I asked was for you to wait for me - but nooo” he hurried his voice to a higher, more effeminate tone “I cAn’t KeEp MiTsUri wAiTiNg~”
Giyuu, sat in the back of the soon, simply observed The wind hashira as he struggled to retie the strings on his footwear. It was actually taking quite a long time, wow.
The entire meeting, Giyú and Sanemi had been stealing glances, ones that were received as snide looks due to Giyú's unfortunate resting face, and thus ignored.
Maybe he just didn’t notice me… Giyú thought to himself.
“Shinazugawa..?” Giyū muttered, rising to his feet
“HOLY- Tomioka??” Sanemi jolted, promptly composing himself again
I literally didn’t even realise he was still here. Ah shit he probably thinks I’m fucking crazy, talking to myself like that-
“Are you alright?” Giyū muttered “You’re staring.”
“No I’m not, jackass.” Sanemi huffed, a slight tinge of embarrassment reddening his face
“Alright then.” Giyū blinked indifferently "I must be seeing things."
“Do you NEED something?!” Sanemi whined, finishing with his straps
"I uh, I wanted to give you this..." Giyú spoke very gently, his tone void of emotion as he extended a hand with a small offering atop it; a little black bag with a few pieces of Ohagi as its contents.
"Is that..." Sanemi looked at Giyú in disbelief
"Ohagi? Yes. After the other day with Tanjiro - I thought it might be something you'd enjo-"
"Oh for fuck's sake, Tomioka." Sanemi scoffed, a hand resting on his hip "You can drop the act. I get you don't like me, but trying to mock me? That's another thing entirely. Seriously fuck off."
He leant down to grab his satchel, turning on his heel to point an angry finger at the other man "DON'T follow me out."
And with a frustrated huff, Sanemi left the room with a slam of the door, leaving Giyú dumbfounded, and a little offended. What on earth did he mean? Mocking him? That's not what he was doing at all? Maybe it was his face. Kocho had told him he had an unpleasant face on more than one occasion - only looking out for him, of course. But maybe it was something he could take into consideration..?
~~~
"'Guro! 'Tsuri!!" Sanemi yelled, catching up to his friends "You will not believe what just happened."
"Tomioka struck up a conversation with you" Obanai snickered, only to get a swat on the back of the head from Mitsuri "Sorry! Sorry..."
"Yeah... actually..." Sanemi sighed, peering over his shoulder apprehensively, raising a hand to the back of his neck and rubbing anxiously "It was really fucking weird, he fucking tried to give me Ohagi.."
Obanai stopped in his tracks, disgust on his face "You're joking, right??"
Mitsuri's cheeks reddened in worry, her hands flittering before her "I-I thought you liked Ohagi, Sanemi?!"
Sanemi turned to her as they walked, dragging a confused Iguro by the elbow behind him "Oh no I do, it was just the way he said it was so - condescending?"
HOW DID HE MANAGE TO BE CONDESCENDING??! IT'S GOSH DARN OHAGI?! Mitsuri's thoughts ran wild, trying to comprehend what she had just heard
"How did he even know you liked that sugary shit?" Obanai hissed while he shook himself from Sanemi's grasp, slotting himself between him and Mitsuri
Sanemi groaned and cast his eyes skyward "That fucking Kamado boy ratted me out. He was so frustratingly kind while he did it too. GOD I mate the little bastard. I just don't trust it! There is just no way-"
"Someone is actually. That. Nice." Mitsuri and Obanai finished his sentence, memorizing it from the countless times Sanemi had rattled on about the alleged prodigy
"I don't get how you two hate him so much!" Tsuri pouted turning her chin up at them and looking away "Nezuko either! The two of them are just so sweet!!"
Sanemi snickered down at Obanai, mouthing "You sure about this one?"
But his only response was a half-assed punch to the gut and the sound of a blood vessel bursting from his little companion
"It's just why would he got that far out of his way just to piss me off?? I get he's an odd one but even for him this is another level of fuckery."
"Then maybe it wasn't - uh..." she gestured to Iguro
"FUCKERY."
"Well yeah, that."
"'Tsuri what the fuck are you talkin' about"
"What is he was trying to be uh nice...?" she smiled awkwardly
Sanemi's jaw dropped despite his mouth remaining shut, Iguro slowly meeting his gaze, and after a few seconds of silence the two erupted in sonorous laughter, causing Mitsuri to throw up her hands in defeat with a huff.
"Ohohoh, 'Tsu that's a good one." Sanemi slapped her shoulder playfully as he struggled for air
"Yeah, Mits. I gotta give it to you, never thought you'd make jokes about that asshole too - WHEW I CAN'T BREATHE." Iguro chimed in, and Kaburamaru even hissed in delight
"I am serious!! What if he want's to be frien-" but she was cut off by another chorus of shouts and howling "UGH. Maybe Tengen's right, he shouldn't give you two the time of day." she pouted, speeding off in a huff from the other men
"Oh no - Mits come back!" Iguro cooed, barely stifling his laughter
"Yeah pinkie! Come tell us how he wants to get closer to- PFFT HAHA IGURO I CAN'T TAKE IT IT'S TOO FUNNY!!" The man began to sob with violent laughter, his body shaking
But she was already long gone by the time he had forced out the sentence, and even further than that when the real comedy began.
"Dude she is a fucking riot. I take it back - I think I can look past her benevolence with that demon girl, she is hilarious. 'hE's TrYinG tO Be nicE' OH MY GOD HAHA"
Iguro wiped the ghost of a tear from his eye "You impersonate her far too well"
"A-thank you, I've had practice." he beamed
they continued to walk for a few more minutes, light-hearted jeers audible in the surrounding area, as well as some information that was probably best not to be discussed in public.
"No but I saw him take it from her as well - deadass. Don't look at me like that!! I am telling you that's what 'Suma' borrowed from her"
Iguro cackled in disbeleif "there is now way you are gonna stand tere and lie, saying he took a bottle of-"
"I AM NOT LYING!!" he beamed in dismay "WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THIS??"
"I DON'T KNOW?! SOME SICK REVENGE FOR THE TIME HE CAUGHT YOU-"
"YOU SAID WE WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT." He gasped dramatically, slapping a hand on the shorter man's mouth "there is no way you just tried to lick me with that on your face."
"I literally forgot it was there - ew it tastes like Kocho's fuck ass tea she gives us in rehab"
"I'll take your word for it, pal" he giggled, wiping his hand on his front absentmindedly
"You sure? I mean I could be a fucking liar as well??"
"Well then, there's only one way for me to really find out isn't there??" he smirked, jokingly tilting up his friends chin, leaning in before the two of them roared with laughter
"What's so funny?" A third voice then chimed in
"OH MY GOD" Sanemi screamed
"WOAH- T-Tomioka??" Obanai poorly supressed a gag as he turned to see none other than the water hashira stood behind them, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
"Yes?" he beamed
"What are you doing here?" Sanemi stepped forward, a slight flush to his face "I thought I told you not to follow me out??"
"Dudeee." Obanai sneered seeing the red tinge to his friend's face
"I didn't. I just happened to be passing though here! my estate's just down the way."
Although this was Tomioka Giyū's natural demeanour, this was a side to him never before seen by his fellow hashira, and thus was met as such.
"Would you quit that??" Iguro hissed, Kaburamaru lashing her tail around his neck
Giyū blinked at Obanai, mildly perplexed by the sudden hostility. "Quit what?" he asked, voice even and unaltering to the tension around them
"You’re... smiling?" Sanemi sneered, stepping up to Obanai’s side, arms crossed defensively. His eyes narrowed, suspicious of the Water Pillar's sudden shift in personality. “What the hell are you playing at?”
Giyū stood before them in silence, both debating what he was going to say, and feeling the pressure of the scrutiny weighing down on him. It wasn't often that he allowed himself to feel anything beyond his solemn duty, and he had to admit, it did feel awfully strange.
“I’m… not playing at anything,” Giyū finally replied, looking back at Sanemi. “I was trying to offer you something I thought you’d like, but clearly I misjudged.”
Sanemi rolled his eyes, his irritation still palpable. “You really expect me to believe that? After all these years of keeping your distance, barely saying a word, and now you want to mock and tease? Give me a break, Tomioka.”
"Yeah," Obanai chimed in, his expression cold. "You're always standing around like you're better than the rest of us. And even if you aren't playing at anything, it's suspicious regardless."
Giyū clenched his fists at his sides, fighting back the sting of their words. He knew his demeanour often came off as distant—aloof, even. But he wasn’t trying to look down on anyone. He was just… bad at expressing himself. And worse at forming connections. Maybe it was too late to change things.
“I am not mocking either of you. I apologise if I have seemed distant, but if you cannot comprehend my efforts, I suppose I'll leave the to of you to... frolic? in peace until I can find a way to help you to. "
Sanemi’s gaze flickered with a confusing blend of emotion. There was no doubt shock in it, a shadow of understanding, and what appeared to be flusterment? But it was gone as quickly as it came. “Whatever.” he muttered, turning away, that red still lingering on his face, possibly even worse than before
Obanai glanced up at Sanemi before fixing Giyū with a hard stare. “Word of advice, Tomioka. You have gotta fix your face. People are going to assume you're being an ass if you say things with that look plastered on."
"You just said you didn't want me smiling."
"Just don't capture the essence of a frost bitten apple, okay?" he groaned sarcastically
“I’ll… keep that in mind,” Giyū muttered with a determined nod.
"Fucking hell he took me seriously" Iguro hissed under his breath
With that, Giyū turned to leave, the tension in the air still thick. But at least he had tried. And that, he thought, was a step in the right direction.
“And, Sanemi? If you change your mind about the Ohagi, you know where to find me.”
Behind him, Obanai leaned toward Sanemi with a low chuckle. “Looks like you’ve got yourself a little admirer. Maybe he’s not as dead inside as we thought, huh?”
Sanemi glowered, swatting Obanai lightly on the shoulder. “Shut up. There’s no way in hell Tomioka’s interested in making good on things. I bet you dinner it was an order from the master."
“Maybe,” Obanai mused. “Or maybe he really does want to befriend you, and you’re just too stubborn to admit it.”
Sanemi’s scowl deepened, but he didn’t respond. He wasn’t sure what bothered him more—the idea that Giyū might actually want to connect with him, or the nagging thought that maybe he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea.
As Giyū walked away, the faint memory of Sabito drifted back to his mind. Maybe it wasn't such an awful idea to get closer with the two of them - and maybe this is what Sabito would have wanted! But deeper down, the realisation began to dawn on him that - maybe this is what he wanted too..
OKAY I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANYONE READ THIS TO THE END BUT IF YOU DID PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! (Please note that this is a rough draft for the chapter that will be posted to my Kny of insert "Have wee met before" and the chapter will be called "Don't follow me out." xx) OKAY THANK YOU THAT IS ALL GOODBYE!!
~ Lav xx
to mmake up the fact I couldn't update I'll list the ships that'll be in the background at some point of the story!
ROMANTIC (BACKGROUND)
Bucky/Steve
Reed/Sue
Betty/Ned
One sided crush of Flash to spider-man (for the crack guys)
FRIENDSHIPS (All bcs I couldn't tag them all)
Peter and:
all the AcaDec team ( -flash before his redemption arc)
Bruce Banner
Steve Rogers
The Hulk
James Barnes
Wanda Maximof
Thor
Loki
Natasha Romanov
Clint Barton
Michelle Jones
Matt Murdock
Wade Wilson
Sam Wilson
Scott Lang
Shuri
Frank Castle
Jessica Jones
Danny Rand
Luke Cage
FF (fantastic 4)
Harry Osborn (childhood mostly)
Mary Jane (childhood mostly)
Aunt May
Ned Leeds
(And more that I'll keep adding bcs I forget)
Peter: Come on Wade, nobody thinks Johnny is my boyfriend!
Wade: *shouting to the x-men* Put your hand up if you think Spider-Man and Johnny Storm are dating!
Everyone: *raises their hand*
Peter: what - JOHNNY PUT YOUR HANDDOWN!
important work I did yesterday