The Only Acceptable Trans Tim Headcanon Would Be Tim Introducing Himself To The Batfam As A Boy From

In my DnD AU I just made up, this happens whenever they have to pair up.

Duke and Jason have been banned from being anywhere near each other in costume because the arguments they will break out into is both too intense and too distracting for patrol. Everyone thinks they're serious but after the first 10-20 times they do it for the love of the game.

Duke: Shut the fuck up.

Jason: You shut the fuck up.

Duke: Zombie

Jason: Flashlight

Duke: That's why the joker still alive

Jason: That's why the joker did what he did to ya mom.

Duke: Nigga where ya mom at? Dea—

Bruce over the comms who, along with the entire bat family has been listening to entire thing: Signal, Red Hood! SPERATE! NOW!

They are now giggling as dick and cass drag them apart.

Jason: Come on, Bruce, the math thing isn't the problem. Patrolling is keeping you and Clark apart. You two just need to bone.

Dick: chuckles nervously

Bruce: What did you say?

Dick: Don't say it again.

Jason: I said you two need to bone.

Dick: whimpers

Bruce: How dare you, Jason Todd. I am your father! 

———

Five Minutes Later: Bone! 

Ten Minutes Later: What happens in my bedroom, Jason, is none of your business. 

Twenty Minutes Later: Bone?! 

Thirty Minutes Later: Don't ever speak to me like that again.

Ra’s, admiring the Batfamily from afar: how does Bruce inspire such LOYALTY without compromising skill and endurance?

Bruce, back in the Cave: if you can do this handstand for five minutes straight I’ll teach you how to dislocate someone’s elbow without breaking it

Tim, shaking like a chihuahua: and?

Bruce, sighing: and afterwards we can run the evac simulator together

Tim now upside down: with—

Bruce: —with popcorn, yes

i hand batman a baby. batman takes the baby. bruce wayne adopts the baby. the baby is introduced to the family. the family is not impressed.

-

Bruce, cooing over his new baby: aw, good evening honey, did you have a nice nap? of course you did, daddy was here the whole time! *proceeds to kiss the baby’s cheek multiple times*

Damian, beside them: *actively bleeding*

Tim: do you feel it now

Tim: do you feel your significance slowly dwindling

Tim: you are a middle child now damian

Tim: do you understand your fate. a middle child, damian. a middle child.

Damian:

Damian, unsheathing his sword: not for long

Before the baby’s Arrival…

Jason, admiring a motorcycle:

Bruce: *buys five*

Jason, glances at a shirt:

Bruce: *buys every color*

Jason: *stomach growls*

Bruce: *books the most expensive restaurant*

After the baby’s Arrival…

Jason: b

Bruce, attentively listening to the baby’s babbling, not even turning his head: hm?

Jason: can i buy this

Bruce, imitating airplanes to feed the baby: sure *tosses card*

Jason:

Jason: im hungry

Bruce, playing peek-a-boo: alfred. kitchen.

Jason:

Jason: *pretends to faint*

Bruce, moves baby away to safey, not sparing him a glance: yes sweetie that’s your brother jay. can you say it? say j-a-y

Baby, giggling, slapping jason’s face: da!

Bruce, gushing in excitement, picking the baby up: da?! did you say dad?! im right here baby! dad’s here!!

Jason:

Jason, still laying on the floor:

Jason, curling up:

Tim, walking by: middle child…the curse of the middle child…

Baby:

Dick: BABY :DD!!

Baby, with Bruce:

Dick: baby :D!

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby:

Dick: baby :)

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby, which means he no longer pays attention to his first child:

Dick: baby :(

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby, which means he no longer pays attention to his first child who just wants to spend time with his dad again because he misses him so much:

Dick: BABY >:[

Cass:

Baby:

Cass:

Baby:

Baby: *cries*

Cass: *narrows eyes*

Baby: *cries louder*

Cass: *hears bruce’s footsteps*

Cass, eyes narrowing again: smart baby

Baby: *stops crying* *smiles* *starts crying again*

Cass: you think dad will pick you?

Cass: *also starts crying*

Bruce, banging the door open, doesnt even notice Cass: BABY

Baby, sniffling, already being rocked in Bruce’s arms:

Baby, making eye contact with Cass:

Cass:

Cass: *starts crying for real*

Jim:

Barbara, glaring at her phone:

Jim:

Jim: haven’t seen bruce around these days…

Barbara: *glares at phone even harder*

Jim: must be busy with his new baby

Barbara: *types furiously while still glaring*

Jim: who knows how long ‘til he visits again

Barbara: *tosses phone out the window and leaves the room*

Duke, leaning against Bruce while playing a game:

Baby, on Bruce’s chest:

Baby: *slaps Duke’s game away*

Duke:

Duke, pursing his lips: *picks game back up* *leans against bruce again*

Baby:

Baby: *slaps Duke’s game away*

Duke: IS IT ‘CAUSE IM BLACK

Spoiler, tapping her foot impatiently: ugh where is he

Batman, gliding in:

Spoiler: finally! you’re la— IS THAT THE BABY.

Batman, baby strapped to his chest, wearing their own domino mask: …hm.

Spoiler: why. did you bring the baby.

Spoiler: it’s our hang-out day

Spoiler: me and you fighting crime and sitting on rooftops eating bat burgers

Batman, cowl ears drooping: …but the baby…

Spoiler, tears in her eyes: just admit you dont love us anymore!

Spoiler: *runs off*

Batman, in shock:

Spoiler, getting in the batmobile parked nearby: how was that

Red Robin, handing her money: perfect

Robin: tt this had better work

Oracle, watching Batman pace around guiltily through a camera: it will.

Orphan and Red Hood, huddled at the back, both mumbling: he ignored us…his favorites…he ignored…

Nightwing, also mumbling: replaced again…how many more times…

Signal: *snoring*

Sound up

Izuku got quirked back into his middle school body and Katsuki is gonna keep him safe from the villains that quirked him (cause he lost ofa). Poor Izuku fell back into his anxious scrungly lil sad bean nature. Fortunately Kacchan will be there for him when he needs it.

yeah “a word” sure Clark we know what you are

vintage superbat