It Was An Accident :(((

Izuku saw some terrible things on that battlefield....

do not ask

do not ask me about horrible goo boys

Edit: took my notes out of the tags.

#because i have no further information. they came from the muck.

#bruce’s boss doesn’t fucking want them. she says theyre his problem

#congrats bruce. you cant rent a car but you’re a father of 3.

adding more notes:

it started with one. then horrible goo boy prime started... splitting. there were three goo boys by the time bruce fumbled together a chemical solution to stop the duplication process.

gotham is not doing so good, ecologically. bruce was supposed to be analyzing different samples of the goo that excretes from the streets sometimes.

alfred always warned that boy about playing with that goo. it's unsafe. probably. bruce has always been drawn to it.

the boys love to fly and go to school and fight crime and creep dad out.

Damian: I can’t believe you have decided to marry one of my worst enemies.

Stephanie: I know. But we’re getting divorced in 6 months besides it’s not actually me. It’s Presley who’s gonna be legally married to him

Jason: Has anyone ever told you both that this friendship is really fucking weird?

Damian: Fuck off Todd

Stephanie: Jay, you have no idea what a heathy friendship looks like how would you what’s normal?

Jason: Jesus fine! I’ll go.

Stephanie: Anyway, look I know that we had plans but since I’ll be gone I have instructed Dick to be my replacement.

Damian: And you believe he can handle it?

Stephanie: I hope so. And if anything gets screwed up we can fix it when I get back and obviously there are a few things we have to put on hold.

Damian: I’m not going to have to watch our shows with him am I? He speaks through the whole thing, it’s bothersome.

Stephanie: Oh god no! I wouldn’t subject you to that. We’re gonna have to pause those for now but he will be taking you to your first little league baseball game.

Damian: Is he going be dressed in that ridiculous outfit again with that horrendous large red finger?

Stephanie: Probably. You know how he gets. Let’s just hope he doesn’t start a fight in the stands again

Tim- Hey so... something occurred to me

Bernard- What?

Tim- I was the only heir to the Drake fortune, and then was adopted by Bruce, meaning I will someday most likely inherit a not insignificant amount of money from him.

Bernard- Not sure I like where this is going but continue

Tim- You're an only child, and Conner is the only kid Lex has, meaning you'll both inherit the Dowd and Luthor industries.

Conner- Are you suggesting we get married and merge the businesses into one?

Tim- That, or we get married and combine our assets, instantly becoming the richest and most powerful family in the world.

Conner- I'm not saying 'no', but I feel like this is how people start turning into supervillains

Bernard- ... Should we call Roy and see if he wants in?

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

took a fat nap this fine sunday. here’s one way bruce could become a grandpa.

(i apologize to these kids. 🫡 )

Reporter: “Mr. Wayne — our readers are dying to know: What’s the secret to your youthful appearance?”

Bruce Wayne, proud owner of five reconstructive jaw surgeries, three separate sets of veneers, a handful of nose jobs, and whose skin only sees direct sunlight through the Watchtower portholes on odd Tuesdays: “Botox and medical grade skincare.”

Final/Part 4: Messing with straight hair!

Time and place.

Part 3: Combining shapes, braids, and textures! And utilizing parts and fros!