Wisdom About Life

He was fluent in me.

In every way.

He rode my highs and my lows, and the waves that came crashing upon me almost drowned me.

He knew how emotionally deep feeling I can be, and how I overthink often to the point of anxiety.

He knew when I was quiet, I was in deep thought or upset about something and holding it in.

He knew when something was bothering me and filled me up with stress, I hardly ate.

He knew I was a very strong person, but also broken with many cracks deep as caverns, and cracks that are healing and mending.

He knew my eyes spoke more than my lips ever could. He knew my eyes can speak a language of their own only for him. A language he loved gazing at.

He knew my body even as he was in a meeting with his eyes closed, picturing me laying on the bed with that black lacy number he liked. He knew every inch, every curve, every line of my body in memory.

He knew how to make my body rise and fall, and quiver only for him. How to make me purr and scream at the same time.

He knew when to be soft with me, and when to not be so gentle.

He knew when I needed to talk about something on my mind, and when I needed to just be held as if there were only the two of us in the world.

He knew I always had a hard time falling asleep, but once sleeping-was hard to wake me up.

He knew I hated change and don't take it well. Even with choosing restaurants, ordering meals, or picking TV shows. The familiar felt much more comfortable and safe than the risk of something new.

He knew when something was wrong just by my voice or how my eyes looked at him, and I didn't even need to say a word.

He knew when I was stressed, I cleaned.

He knew my humor was dirty and sarcastic, yet childlike. And he knew I loved to laugh and make people laugh- because in depression-you know what it's like to not feel.

He knew I loved consistency, from the 'good morning' to the 'goodnight', to show me I was on his mind from sunrise to sunset.

He knew my walls were built higher and higher over the years due to traumas, loss, and pain- not to keep people out, but to protect myself and not burden others. Walls only He knew how to climb and navigate.

He knew how to protect me physically and emotionally, even from myself and my own anxiety filled mind.

He knew how I liked to be touched...and licked.

He knew how I loved laying my head on his chest because it's the safest place to be at times.

He knew when I tell him I love him, it's not just those words. It's also in me saying -'let me know when you get home okay', and drive safe'.

He knew the electrical currents to my mind, and the road map to my soul.

He knew it all. Every part, every inch of me. But most of all.

He loved me for me...accepting my rationalities, irrationalities, complexities, and my simple.

Loving you completely for all you are...the good and easy parts, and the dark and crazy parts- will come very natural and easily to the one who truly and genuinely loves you. It will come harder for one who doesn't. If you're lucky, you'll find 'the one'... like I did.

A story doesn't exist unless it's Told.

If you remember anything of me, after I leave this world, remember that I loved even when it was foolish.

That I cared even when it was unwanted.

When my body is gone, remember my heart.

#Abdullah

A story doesn't exist unless it's Told.

Will you love me when I have bad days?

Will you love me at my weakest and be who I need you to be when I need you to be it? Will you offer me neverending support and neverending grace? Will I find safety in your arms and know without a doubt you will be there building me up, loving me with an intensity that no one will ever top? Will you cherish the man I am today and tomorrow, never letting me forget how special I am to you?

I don’t want an invisible love. If you are proud of me and what I have accomplished, tell me. If you love the bow I have in my hair that day, communicate that to me. If you adore what I wore that day, show me. If you love my quirky sense of humor and more serious moments we have shared, make sure I know that.

Never let the moment pass, or tell yourself you’ll tell me the next time. Life is too short. What if there is no ‘next time?’ Tell me, show me, making sure I know how special I am to you. I am a ball of fire, intense, and full of inspiration - I need you to be consistent and a rock I can lean on in my most vulnerable moments. If you are this for me - there is no doubt in my mind, I will do that for you.

©️ Abdullah

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒅.

My silence means I am tired of fighting and now there is nothing left to fight for.

My silence means I am tired of explaining my feelings to you, but now I don't have the energy to explain them anymore.

My silence means I have adapted to the changes in my life and I don't want to complain.

My silence means I am on a self healing process and I am trying to forget everything I ever wanted from you.

My silence means I am just trying to move on gracefully with all my dignity.

Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.

"I crave and desire you."

I want to marry you.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving.

This is for You. Feel this song...

Because without looking for you, I find you everywhere, especially when I close my eyes.

- Abdullah

A story doesn't exist unless it's Told.

Life is very simple:

What I give out, comes back to me.

Today I choose to give love. ...

#Abdullah #KittyCat