F1 Masterlist 🌶️🌶️

you belong with me

plot : having oscar piastri as a neighbour and best friend was great, supporting him from the sidelines, everything was fine even when the feelings was just one sided…. or so was it?

pairing : oscar piastri x reader! lando norris x reader! platonic

warnings: slight angst, fluff! mainly inspired by you belong with me by taylor swift

growing up with oscar piastri as your neighbour had been a core memory, you would remember communicating with him through windows, yes windows.

the first time you moved in to his neighbourhood, you were just a girl who had moved from singapore to australia and had zero friends, you had to restart your whole life in another country

of course, your parents had opted to let you settle down for a few weeks before starting school, which led most of your days spying on your neighbour’s family and just casual people watching

the piastri family, just a normal family who had 3 little sisters and him, oscar piastri being the eldest in the family. you would notice him arriving home with his mum by his side in his karting suit, enraged sometimes, happy too.

it was a sight to see, your dad had allocated your study table right in front of your window and what a coincidence it was that just in-front of you was his room.

It was a shock of course to him when he noticed you flipping through your books (or so he thought), and the moment you had your head up to do some stretchings , the both of you had a few seconds eye contact and smiled.

you didn’t pay much attention because as much as your heart was jumping around, it was a tad bit awkward, but you notice a motion that he was scribbling on something, and a few minutes later a sketchbook was seen holding up by him

“just moved in?”

you nodded your head, you looked around and grab some empty pieces of paper and a black marker

he then wrote a few more sentences, “i’m oscar, what about you?”

“y/n, just moved here from singapore!” with that information he absorbed , he made an ‘o’- shaped mouth, and went back to scribbling a few more sentences

“any plans right now?” of course, you shook your head

“do you wanna grab dinner?” was written on oscar’s sketchbook, he then held up an ‘OK’ hand motion along with a thumbs up and thumbs down which then u gave him a thumbs up

and from that day on, you made your first friend who then became your best friend who then became your first love.

“let’s just go to at least one race, y/n! you’ve been there for me since formula 3, won’t seeing me race in formula 1 in real life make you happy?” his voice speak through your phone that was placed on your bed

you were currently cleaning up your room while being on-call with oscar, even-though the both of you were neighbours and he could technically come over and talk to you physically in your room, he was sadly grounded.

so there he was, sitting on the ledge of his window, being on call with you at the same time just watching you moving around your room.

“osc you’ll be traveling across the world, my dad’s gonna kill me if i’m skipping school, lily’s gonna be with you”

Lily zheimer is Oscar’s girlfriend, you had found out when Oscar had asked for your guidance to assist him in his prom-posals which you did so (stupidly), you had been there for Oscar when the both of them had fights, of course you were the one consoling him even-though you could hear bit by bit pieces of your heart breaking apart.

“it’ll be great if you will be there too, you’re my best friend after all” and yet again, just a best friend

dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that

you’re looking for has been here the whole time

“lily’s gonna be fuming if i’m there, you know the both of us don’t get along, let’s not do that Osc”

as much as you were kind to lily, she had been against of Oscar’s friendship with you since day one, oscar would missed out on the days where the both of you had planned to hang out and every-time you smiled to lily it wasn’t reciprocated back instead she would give you an eye roll.

you never understood why lily hated you, or disliked? you gave space to oscar whenever he’s out with lily and you’re not that type of girl best-friend who’s all up in Oscar’s business. Oscar had assured you multiple times that lily would get over it (which she didn’t and it’s been years).

lily zheimer was the stereotypical popular girl in your school, meanwhile you were just an average student who had few friends because to be fair you’d rather have an average life rather than being popular.

except she wasn’t the typical popular girl who’s a cheerleader, she was the smartest in your school, you did admire her, she’s a beauty with brain. were you ever jealous of her beauty? of course, but what you were jealous the most was the way oscar looked at her.

The way Oscar looked at her was as if he could see his whole future planned out with her, and THAT was the way you looked at Oscar, and this is of course a typical best-friend unrequited love.

“my parents will be following y/n, you can tag along with them, just one race please” you stopped in your tracks and looked up at him, he was literally pleading with his hands together begging you

“fine, i’ll go to one race osc”

you could hear oscar shouted “YES” and a moment later you heard your phone notification went off and it was Oscar’s mum

“so glad that you’re coming along, y/n! girl’s day for us 🥰” to which you laughed and let oscar know

“your mum just texted me osc, that was fast”

“yeah she loves you y/n, i have enough sisters already but she already is claiming you to be her daughter. At this point even my sisters prefers your existence more than me” to which he flipped you off and rolled his eyes jokingly

“fuck you osc, i’ll take back whatever i said about attending” and there it was the beeping of an ending call

and the next moment you heard him shout across the window, “don’t even think about it, I’m grounded right now, I’ll literally stormed to your front door in 2 days if you decides to back out” and closed his windows

it’s the day of the australian grand prix, you were granted the 3 days paddock pass by mclaren as oscar’s guests.

osc and lily had of course arrived the paddock together, meanwhile you arrived with oscar parents.

few fans had recognised you as oscar’s best friend, and you being nice had small talks with them, it was the first time you could see the amount of fans oscar had and you felt so proud of him, of the journey you had seen him grew up with.

you were just walking around the paddock, this wasn’t the first time you were in the paddock but it was the first time you were in a formula one grand prix.

you spotted oscar’s team mate lando norris scooting around the paddock and remembered the first time oscar told you about him. He was exactly how oscar described him.

curls, a smiley person, and of course sarcastic.

you noticed lando was heading towards your direction and stopped exactly infront of you, “you must be oscar’s girlfriend right?”

you had a confused face on and laughed, “no that’s lily, i’m his best friend”

“oh, my bad. I’m sure you know about me from oscar?” he held his hands out, and you shook his hands

“yeah, lando right? i’m y/n”

“are you searching for him?” Lando asked you noticing you were walking around the paddock without him

you shook your head “i’m just familiarising myself, was a-bit bored. Oscar’s a-bit busy right now”

“well then i’ll be your guide for the day, y/n” this time lando walked the same pace as you, completely abandoning his scooter by the side of the hospitality.

By the end of the day, you were well contented with Lando’s presence with you, he had introduced you to a few of his friends and some of the grid drivers. Oscar had warned you about lando’s past, stereotypically his flirty personality.

You had seen his flirty traits but you couldn’t care less, instead lando seems like a long-lost friend you’ve never met.

“thanks lando for giving me a great tour of the paddock, i shall do the same to you whenever you’re in singapore! i know some great places that you’d take pictures with your leica!” the both of you were sat in the hospitality with an ice cream in both of your hands.

“well that’s a promise then, oscar’s probably done right now, i guess it’s my turn, i’ll see you around?”

you smiled and nodded your head, “i’ll be around, can’t get rid of me that easily”

landonorris started following you

lafilledhiver_ just posted

liked by landonorris oscarpiastri maxfewtrell and others

lafilledhiver_ my week in pictures + aus gp 🧡

oscarpiastri shouldn’t it be my garage instead

↳ lafilledhiver_ you’ve been replaced 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼

↳ landonorris she’s my best friend now piastri

oscpi81 why did i not know y/n went to aus grand prix 😭

↳ lnaurris if udm answering who is she?

↳ oscpi81 she’s oscar’s best-friend! she used to attend f2 races q frequently!

papayaboys does she not follow lily?

↳ russell44 maybe there’s beef 😐

↳ pastry81 she’s not required to follow her bestie’s gf ig 😂

mclaren our favourite guest is back

liked by lafilledhiver_

“you’re getting cozy with lando, y/n” lily’s voice caught your attention

“he’s a great friend, plus he takes great care of osc” answering to her remarks and getting back your attention to your phone

“i wouldn’t do that if i were you, would not want to tame osc reputation or image” lily shrugged her shoulder

you sighed, you knew when oscar left you with lily, this conversation is bound to happen

“lily, i don’t have an idea on why you’re so against of osc and i’s friendship, you’re the one who has osc head over heels for you. if I were you, I would have just choose to mind my own business, but clearly you can’t seem to do that?”

packing your things up, within the timespan u were packing oscar came to the both of you

“hey i was about to ask, let’s grab dinner together” until he saw you packing ur items in a rushed state

“sorry oscar, another day, i’m not really feeling well” giving him a soft smile and hugging him, bidding him a goodbye

it’s true, you’ve been coughing the whole day and your body has been feeling rather heaty

oscar sighed and faced lily, “what did you say to her this time?”

while walking your way to the hotel, your phone ringed multiple times, and with the distinguished ringtone you knew it was oscar

“finally you’ve answered, lily told me what happened! Look i am sorry alright, i’ve already told lily to be mindful of her words, now can you please follow us to dinner? mom wants you there”

stopping in your tracks, you can’t help but to feel that oscar had never once considered about how you felt about the situation between him and lily

“osc, i’m tired. Have you ever considered talking to me about how i felt about this too? Let me have a break tonight, I’m unwell”

Oscar could been heard walking himself out of the noisy room he was in, and sighed , “i’m coming in few minutes, we’ll talk this out”

“oscar that’s not what i meant” with that he ended the call

you’re pacing around your room, mind clouding with all the possible outcome and the fallout between you and oscar.

the both of you were inseparable since young and to think that a situation like this would actually be a reason of a fallout, aches you.

then you heard a knock, specifically four knocks. Four knocks was oscar way of telling you he’s here whenever he’s over at your house.

you walked towards the door half expecting lily and him at the door, amazed that it was just him this time.

he welcomed himself in and sat on the hotel sofa that was provided in your room, “we’re gonna solve this today, no one is leaving”

this is gonna be a long day.

sighing, you made your way to the empty spot next to him

“there’s nothing to talk about oscar, i was just feeling unwell to attend the dinner. nothing serious, see?” shoving him your proof of the thermometer that you’d just used a few minutes ago

“i’m sorry about lily, i know she doesn’t like you but i’m fixing this okay y/n. I really do want the both of you to get along well!”

sometimes, fixing is never a solution, especially when it comes to these scenarios

“Oscar, don’t waste your time fixing this. she’ll never like me, you’ll have to understand that”

oscar seems confuse with the sentence that had came out of your mouth, “ what do you mean, never.. y/n?”

“oscar, i like you. I’ve been liking you ever-since I’ve gotten to know you. You’re not required to like me back, so don’t bother, but i know lily knows this, that’s probably why she’s protective of you oscar”

the information that was said out by you made oscar shocked and still. This was how he had always reacted to news, be it great or bad news.

“i was probably crazy when i agreed on helping you with your promposal to lily, but you were happy osc. The other times you were so happy was when you won during your races, and i would do anything to just see you, my best friend be happy. I was dumb, i probably thought it was going to get away, i mean that’s what y/bff/n says. Just a small crush, but it’s been years and it’s still the same.”

this time you had to pause whatever you’re saying because you felt tears brimming in the corner of your eyes.

can’t you see that i’m the one who understands you

been here all along, so why can’t you see?

“you made me happy oscar, and i’m happy we’ve met. Things will be awkward afterwards but i’m always here, osc. Lily’s great, she makes you feel happy, and i like that for her. She makes you feel like there is something to actually look forward to every single day, and i wish i had that in me.”

Oscar shifted his sit towards you, and glanced at you, “ i have no idea, y/n..”

well yeah, no shit. he was crazy for lily, of course he had no idea.

“that’s fine osc-“ before completing your sentence, oscar had cut you off

“ i liked you, i did, but when lily came it made me feel different. I never knew you liked me, y/n. This could be us, y/n. I don’t know what to say, i treasure this friendship, you were there for me for all of my races, i liked what we had, y/n.”

and there it was the sentence that you knew you’ll hear someday, being friend zoned.

you stood up, “oscar, let’s just forget this ever happened okay? you can just leave, we’ll see each other per normal, like we had before this conversation”

dragging oscar by you, you led him out of your hotel room, and before oscar could have a say, you slammed the door right by his face.

—

sitting by the side of your bed, looking out to the sky with y/bff/n on the phone, has never been better, especially when you’re finally homed alone.

“it’s crazy how he ignored whatever you said, and declared his love for lily just like that. After all, you’ve been there from the start”

sobbing silently, you couldn’t help but reminiscing the moments when you’ll wake up early in the morning to help out with oscar’s moment to prepare breakfast to bring along to his karting races.

“to be fair, lily’s gorgeous. He always had a huge crush on her. Maybe one day, i too will have someone that’s willing to have that love for me”

your best friend scoffed, “who are you kidding, you’re fucking beautiful. If anyone’s blind, it’s oscar. Who was the one who had a filled to the brim locker of valentines chocolate, surely not lily but you! he’ll regret his choices, y/n”

just remembering the times when you and your best friend had to literally give away chocolate to a bunch of kids made you giggled

—

the following weeks after the incident, things had been silent between the both of you.

it had became a controversial topic for your siblings and your parents to even bring up oscar’s name, and this goes the same to oscar too from what you’ve gotten an update from his sister, who you were still very much close too.

apparently word of mouth has gotten to the public too, especially after you’ve removed oscar and a few other followers from your Instagram in an order to stay more lowkey.

—

i’ll do a part 2 soon, promise! i am finally back from the dead :)! hope yall like this! next part will be an inspired story from ariana’s new song! (we can’t be friends)!!

[all writings below the cut] talk to me here prompt list here -----

(+ means smut)

red flags | charles leclerc +

last call | max verstappen

chasing fate | lance stroll blindsided | lance stroll

death of me | carlos sainz +

blurbs & drabbles

the better series (7 parts) | pierre gasly, lando norris (triangle) +

6 to 1 series (12 parts) | lando norris x leclerc!reader + lover x 6 to 1 (sequel based off the lover tracklist)

disapproval | mick schumacher x leclerc!reader part 2 hard truths  part 3 the good guy

fragile line | daniel ricciardo x driver!reader + part 2 haunted part 3 gone part 4 long live

say don't go | charles leclerc x reader part 2 | now that we don't talk

sky's on fire (work in progress) | pierre gasly, charles leclerc (triangle)

pierre gasly

worlds collide | famous!reader x pierre simp | reader x pierre

charles leclerc

soft (dog) launch | korean influencer!reader x charles  quarantine | reader x charles not good enough | filipina!reader x charles muse | singer/songwriter!reader x charles the people's princess | princess!reader x charles

mick schumacher

in you i trust | reader x mick

- all social media au's charles leclerc x secret admin  daniel ricciardo x secret admin lando norris x secret admin lewis hamilton x secret admin  lance stroll x secret admin max verstappen x secret admin

F1 Fic Recs

Oscar Piastri

Love is tough, u make it easy @httpiastri

table for 2 @foreveralbon

U turn @norrizzandpia

lets have a baby

oscar's car

when is it my turn

she wears the pants, right

call me ur fool @userland

munchkin @lewisvinga

a little slow

my mistake

don't go there @uglyducklingofthe2000s

a piece of us

breaking fingers

a brothers friend of a friend

in a world of boys

falling for u @arieslost

flowers for her @alltoowelltom

make it real @formulafics

snooze @eatingaburrito

the enemy of my brother @sxcretricciardo

purity ring @piastrification

eye catching @nouvellevqgue

curiosity kills a cat

who told him to get jack'ed @httpsserene

self care @the-offside-rule

destiny @forzarma

fav nepo baby @starkwlkr

best big brother @faithshouseofchaos

always w u @gentlyweeps-world

Lando x Oscar

bad influence @planete777

slow and gentle @norrizzandpia

one each @changetyre

take care @scuderiahoney

3some @c0eu4

papaya sunrise @fxrmuladaydreams

masterlist @vivwritesfics

Lando Norris

caught @norrizzandpia

used

she doesnt know who i am

what r u doing up

flowers on ur hair @thisismeracing

papaya @vivwritesfics

reluctant cupid @astonmartinii

possessive @norrisleclercf1

strawberry @uglyducklingofthe2000s

ur teeth in my neck @ivyppoison

F1 Grid

look after u @disneyprincemuke

bitch im a mother @starkwlkr

Charles Leclerc

some extra goodies @chrisevansonly

koala

all the girls u loved before @uglyducklingofthe2000s

if u leave me, ur'e out of ur mind

vanilla ice cream

do something abt it

perfect strangers

numb

u make it too easy

sexy speed god bf

saw ur mom at the grocery store @love-belle

just kidding @sincerlyleclerc

i wasted half my summer trying to hold ur hand

remember

cant get u out of my head

whodunnit @hamiltvns

interview @hemmingsleclerc

sleepyhead @pucksandpower

here comes the bride @starkwlkr

i love my wife

if he wanted to

safety first

finance bro girlie @juleswrites223

time zones @drunkfrogg

possessive @vivwritesfics

4some

all for nothing @loonylupinblack3

Max x Charles

u are not the world champion @starkwlkr

masterlist @verstappen-cult

full of surprises @va1entinesg4l

The Lucky One (2)

Part 2 (of 2) of The Lucky One | Sebastian Vettel x Reader

Summary: Formula One had been your dream and your goal ever since you were a kid, and you did all you had to in order to achieve it. Between ups and downs, Sebastian becomes a steady presence despite being your complicated frenemy relationship. Until everything comes crashing down. Formula One gives, but Formula One takes.

Word count: 5.5k

Tags: female!reader, driver reader, reader is mirrorball coded, coming of age, cursing, romance, both are assholes, smut, +18, complicated feelings, rivals to lovers, crash, major injury, medical innacuracies, bittersweet ending, not beta read; t.w: brief christian horner scene.

Relationship: Sebastian Vettel x Reader

Note: This is fully inspired by the song, and throughout my writing process I realized it also fits mirrorball. This one may require some tissues (especially in part 2). Everything is fictional and I mean no disrespect to Sebastian or his family (they don't exist in this story). I'm sorry it took me forever to come back to it, but there it is, hope I don't disappoint Not proofread. Comments and feedback are welcomed.

Find me on Twitter!

Ending whatever complicated fling was going on with you and Sebastian was the right, rational call, you knew that. But your body, your heart, regretted it every couple of weeks as you laid awake in bed, plagued by memories, need and longing.

You decided to just do your best during that season. You couldn’t fight for the championship anymore, but you still wanted a great season since the following year would be your last in the current contract with Red Bull. A great performance could secure a renewal or even the interest of other teams.

Sebastian and you still saw each other frequently during race weekends, your eyes always finding each other across the crowd. He was consumed with guilt, of having been blinded by his own privileges that he didn’t see the struggle that was being a woman in Formula One. He vowed to never be so far from reality like that ever again.

He wanted to stop you, to talk to you again, to try and fix things, but there was this constant mix of shame and uncertainty about your reaction if he tried reaching out again. Sometimes he would look at you from afar, and he’d see something in your eyes, something that felt like the same longing he had. Some other times, you looked at him like you hated him.

Eventually in the third race to the last in Bahrain, he couldn’t take it anymore. There was this string tugging at his heart, begging to see you and talk everything through. During the Friday afternoon, between Free Practices, he marched around decidedly, looking for you. He walked into the garage and no one seemed to mind his presence as he went straight into your driver’s room. He barged in, not bothering to knock. You were sitting on the couch, drinking Red Bull and going through some papers. You frowned and stood up as you saw him.

“What are you-”

“Stop…” He interrupted with both hands up, “don’t say anything just yet.”

You frowned but didn’t look particularly angry, your frown softening into a stunned silence. Sebastian sighed, breathing slowly, he had a plan and a speech when he was marching there, but now, looking at your face, your pretty eyes, he had lost all sense of reason.

“We’ll talk about everything, rationally, like adults. Okay?” He offered, and you slowly nodded, unsure but also willing to try, “Not now, because the race and everything. But- this monday, okay? After the race, after we get a good night’s sleep. We’ll go to a nice restaurant, and we’ll talk over good food. A real date this time, no hiding anymore,” He said, his words pouring out fast, like he wasn’t truly thinking about what to say, his heart pounding with a mix of fear and excitement, “Monday night?”

“Monday night,” You nodded, no anger in your eyes, just a glimmer of hope.

“Good,” He nodded and just left.

You stood there, speechless, but with a disbelief smile on your face, looking almost silly. Despite the anger you felt the last time you two actually spoke, there was this undeniable magnetic pull between you, and you didn’t seem to be able to be away from him just as he wasn’t able to be away from you.

The whole weekend, you felt that nervous energy, almost bouncing up the walls, you attributed it to the race, but you knew it was more than that. The car had been great the whole week, you qualified P2, your first real possibility of win in a few months, which would be a blast to finish the season winning one of the last races.

You were smiling as you waved to the fans during the driver’s parade, your first hopeful and excited pre-race interview in quite some time. As you put on your gloves and helmet, you couldn’t help but feel some sense of purpose. You would give your very best in that race.

You just didn’t know it would be your last time behind a Formula 1 wheel.

The race was great, it started alright and most of it you kept your P2, even after a failed attempt of undercut, you still managed your P2, but then came the moment, the point of no return in your career, the very moment that changed the trajectory of your life forever.

After turn 15, you had finally managed to catch up to the P1, less than half a second behind him, and despite his car being fast, you could try and overtake him with the DRS. You pushed the fastest you could in the straight, closing and closing the distance, almost succeeding in overtaking, but as the DRS zone ended, you realized you’d have to wait another lap to try again. But then, as you pushed the pedal to brake and slow down into turn 1, the car kept going. So many things happened in the span of mere seconds, but they felt like ages to you.

“I’ve got no brakes,” You said into the radio as you tried braking. Then you tried engine braking and the security system braking. None of it worked.

With quick thinking, you decided to face the turn that way and bear it. You'd probably lose a lot of grip with the rear, but if you hit the curbs it’d help you slow down and just drive to a stop. You kept trying the brake pedals all the way to the turn, when suddenly, the tyres locked up and everything happened really fast.

You weren’t able to turn, the tyres locked and you had no way to slow down the car. All you did was brace as you went full force straight into the barriers, the impact so hard it made your car split in half. You blacked out for a couple of seconds and then came to again, a ringing in your ears as you tried to situate yourself, a mix of excruciating pain and numbness, pulsing hard, almost keeping you in and out of it.

Pain. Numb. Pain. Numb.

You tried to stay awake, hearing your name being called in the distance, the numbness giving each time more space to the excruciating pain but you couldn’t identify where it came from.

“Talk to me! Are you okay?” You were only half aware of the voice in the radio, and you blindly reached for the button with shaky hands.

“H-help,” your voice was shaky, hoarse and so unlike yourself.

You couldn’t move, you couldn’t bring yourself to even reply again, even more aware of the pain now, barely keeping your head up and your eyes opened. Teary eyed, a distant, cold part of you knew it was over. It was over forever.

Then you blacked out.

-

“Sebastian, red flag, red flag,” His engineer called, as if he had not seen all the red flags throughout the circuit.

He drove back to the boxes, hopping off the car as he saw other drivers do the same, he marched into the Ferrari garage, worried.

“Is everyone okay? Who was it?” He asked, as he removed his helmet and balaclava.

The grief faces around him didn’t help, and Sebastian felt a sense of dread as he turned to the closest screen showing the live coverage of the race. The transmission was a helicopter shot of your car into the wall, or a better description would be two piles of wreckage of your car as the marshals rushed towards it. He felt like he could puke, despair spreading through his chest.

“What did she say? What happened?” He asked anyone willing to answer, his eyes glued to the screen. As if on cue, a replay of your crash played out on the screen.

“S-she asked for help. She didn’t reply again after that.” Someone said, somber, and a lump lodged in Sebastian’s throat.

He kept staring at the video, then a replay of your radio also came through, the despair as you realized you had no brakes, the urgency in your engineer’s voice as he asked you to try other means. And the faint “Help” you said after one of the ugliest crashes Sebastian had ever seen. He had never been a religious guy, but at that moment, he prayed. His eyes glued to the screen as the marshals started removing pieces surrounding you and the car, and the ambulance arrived. They started checking you and were about to pull you out of the wreckage.

Then, the cameras were cut off, showing the drivers and everyone in the garages. Sebastian knew that for the transmission to stop showing, it meant the crash was really bad, it meant that however they were pulling you out, it was ugly. Sebastian felt a shiver up his spine as he thought about the possibility they were removing your dead body from there.

With that, he marched out of the Ferrari garage and towards RB, and he found other drivers were already making their way there too, everyone desperate for any news. A few minutes later it was reported that you had been taken by helicopter to the nearest hospital. Sebastian breathed again as they reported you were alive, but unconscious.

The race was interrupted officially a few minutes later, Sebastian and Lewis along with a few other drivers were still waiting by the Red Bull garage for more news on you. Slowly, everyone was sent away when the news came from the hospital that you were hurt, but not in a life threatening situation and you’d stay in the hospital for observation.

That was when Sebastian finally left, a little shaken as he went through his post race duties.

The following morning, after a tossing and turning almost sleepless night, the official representatives confirmed that you were alright but had unfortunately fractured a leg, and would not take part in the remaining two races of the season.

Even after he got news on you, and there was this sense of relief that you’d recover, the knot in his stomach remained, his gut saying that something was off. But he brushed it off, thinking it was just lingering anxiety from the accident.

He wanted to talk to you, see you. He got your number from Lewis and texted you but you never replied and he kept trying. A few days later, Lewis commented with him that you hadn’t replied to his text either. And later they found out you actually had not replied to any of the drivers or anyone from the Formula 1 teams.

After Abu Dhabi, when the season ended, he got a hold of your manager, leaving an office in the Red Bull garage. He stopped her, gently taking a hold of her arm.

“How’s she doing? Do you have any news on her?” He pressed.

“She’s alright, still recovering.”

“Why hasn’t she answered her phone?”

“She’s recovering and took a break from social media and the internet, so she hasn’t been able to communicate well. I’m sure once she’s fully recovered she’ll get back to you.”

“Do you have a home telephone, e-mail or even an address where we can reach her? See her?” He asked, almost desperate.

“I’m sorry. Just give her some time, I’m sure she will come around.”

With that, your manager left quickly, holding a small stack of files with both hands, the “classified” stamp boldly branding it. Sebastian kept trying to contact you, failing miserably each time.

When the Prize Giving ceremony came, he was bouncing with nervous energy, hoping and praying he would get to see you again. If anything, just to know you’re really okay and well. You didn’t show up to the ceremony, but suddenly you were awarded the Personality of the Year award.

Then, your face showed up on the big screen, and Sebastian felt his breath stuck in his throat. It was a simple, regular video of you, you were wearing a pretty dress and your hair was in an up-do. Your face had makeup like you always wore in these kinds of events, pretty eyes and big lashes, and a scarlet lipstick. Your face looked healthy, despite your eyes lacking its usual brightness.

“Hi, everyone!” Came your recorded voice with a smile, “It’s such an honor to receive this award. Thank you to everyone who voted for me and congratulations to all other drivers on the season. I’m well and recovering, and I’m grateful for all the well wishes all of you sent me these past weeks, I truly appreciate them.” Your smile faded almost imperceptibly, but Sebastian noticed as you inhaled softly, like you were resigned to something, “I will take this opportunity to let you know that I’m retiring from Formula 1 from now on. I’m grateful for all the opportunities, all the dreams achieved and the amazing people I got to know and work with. Thank you very much.”

As the video cut off, there was a stunned silence since absolutely no one saw that coming. No one expected you to announce your retirement like this. So suddenly, especially considering you had one more year of contract with your team. And you were also very young, just 28.

The event went on but Sebastian couldn’t move on from your video, from seeing your face and hearing your voice again. He went through the motions for the rest of the night, and at some point, Lewis stopped him to chat about how glad he was that you looked healthy. But Sebastian couldn’t shake off that pit in his stomach.

The following week, once he was done with his postseason duties, he called Lewis and a couple of the drivers you were the closest with. Still, none of them had any news on you, no text, no calls, nothing. He went digging further and found out you lived in Monte Carlo, in the same building as a few other drivers. Desperate for anything he went there personally to look for you. After giving your name and being recognized, the staff member checked on their computer for a moment.

“Unfortunately, she moved out of this building around a week ago.”

“What…?” Sebastian whispered to himself, shocked, “S-she… um, do you know if she moved to another place here in Monaco? Or she moved to another country or something?”

“I don’t have that information, sir,” the woman replied, looking at him with a smile apologetically.

Sebastian nodded and left, helpless.

Time went on, the world spun, and he never heard about you again. The holidays came and went, and a new season started. People still spoke about you, whispers about your retirement and the accident, many conspiracies theories about why you had disappeared. But oddly enough, the FIA and the F1 representatives never spoke much about you.

Not seeing you again was eating him alive, especially whenever he remembered the last time you had talked, the promise of a future that never came. One time, he went to the Red Bull to try and get any information about you. He kept bothering the staff for months, everyone including Christian, who was the one to put a firm stop to his nonsense of bothering the team’s staff about you.

“I need to talk to her, it’s important,” Sebastian pleaded.

“Have you considered that maybe she doesn’t want to be bothered? That she doesn’t want to speak with you or anyone for that matter?” Christian said, “This stops now, Sebastian. Stop bothering my team about this or I’ll have to go to Todt.”

Sebastian deflated, feeling defeated, only nodded, walking away.

He still talked about you on occasion, mentioning a battle in passing, or whenever the only woman to win a Formula 1 championship was mentioned. Sometimes he hoped you were watching, that you could see the longing in his eyes, that you’d feel something and reach out to him. And then later, he felt silly, stupid for wishing so.

Late at night, he stared at the ceiling, trying to commit to memory everything that had ever happened between you. The fights, the shouts but even more the chats, the making love and the silly conversations you two had late at night, your naked bodies covered by a thin blanket as you chatted about anything and everything. He always thought about your hands mindlessly drawing on his skin, you two drifting off to sleep, and then one of you sneaking out in the middle of the night. No goodbyes to make it easier.

And now the lack of goodbyes felt like an open wound for him.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five years passed and Sebastian believed he had learned to deal with your absence, with the lack of closure. But it was a lie he kept telling himself, even if every year, he kept trying your phone number, your email, sending texts and notes, until your phone number was discontinued and probably sold again, for a new owner and your email stopped receiving and his letters would not go through. He never changed his own number, expecting you to eventually call.

When he announced his retirement, a small part of him hoped you’d reach out once you got the news. You never did.

After his announcement, he decided to resort to desperate measures and hired a private investigator. And finally, after a couple months since the end of his last season, he got news on you.

Ben, his P.I., got an image of you in a café in a quaint little town, you sitting down, sipping some coffee and reading a book. The image was a little blurry, probably taken from a long distance, but it looked like you.

Now, Sebastian was retired and had free time, and he immediately packed a suitcase and went to the town. He arrived there on a friday morning, and after checking in at a small but comfortable inn, he went straight to the café. Ben had told him the photo was taken in the late morning, so since very early, he went to the café and decided to wait for you. Ordering a coffee and a muffin, he waited.

And waited. And waited.

Hours and hours and a bunch of coffees and muffins later, the staff were looking at him strangely, and one of the ladies looked at him with pity, warning they were about to close.

“Were you waiting for someone, boy?” She asked.

“Yes, uh- a friend,” He sighed, standing up. He said your name, and the woman seemed to recognize the name, “She’s this tall,” He gestured, showing your height, and gave a brief physical description of you, and the woman nodded.

“I know her! Very sweet but also a bit stubborn.”

“I thought I might find her here, but…” He shrugged, giving his best puppy look to the older woman.

It didn’t take much for the woman to give him your address, and despite the urge to go straight there, Sebastian knew it was late, signaled by the café closing and he knew small towns like this usually went to sleep early. So he went to the inn, taking a shower and going to bed, trying to sleep, trying to get to the following day.

But his racing heart was making it impossible to sleep, and he laid on the bed, thinking of you, going in and off sleep, dreaming of you.

In the morning, he had breakfast and went to your address in a moment that wasn’t too early in the morning. Your house was a medium sized family looking home, cozy, a big front and backyard. It looked like somewhere to have a family in and to grow old.

He walked up to your porch, drying his hands on his jeans and before he could hesitate, he rang the doorbell.

He wondered if you would welcome him, at least as a friend. His nerves wondered if you had gotten married, had a family, and he was just a pathetic and creepy guy for never moving on from you. He wondered if-

You opened the door, freezing the moment your eyes met his. Sebastian looked at your face, still as stunning as ever, showing small signs of aging, but they suited your face beautifully. Your hair was longer, natural, and your face looked healthy, with a beautiful sunny hue to it.

“Principessa”

“Sebastian…” You said, shocked, “What- How…?”

“Can I come in?” He asked. You nodded, awkwardly scooting away from the doorway so he could come inside.

“I- do you want some tea?” You offered, unsure of how to feel with his presence so out of the blue.

“Yeah,” He nodded, following you inside and sitting on an armchair as you signaled him to. A small teapot on the coffee table between you, “I’ve been looking for you. Why did you disappear?” He asked, his voice almost tinged with despair.

You tried to think of what to say for a moment, pouring two mugs of tea to gather your thoughts, to grapple with the fact that Sebastian Vettel, your rival, lover and friend was there, suddenly, after five long years.

“What happened to you?” He asked again, his voice almost in pain.

“That crash happened…” You said, hands around the warm mug.

“It was worse than they made it seem, wasn’t it?” Sebastian said, a knowing look on his face when you nodded, getting up and slowly walking to a drawer on your bookshelf, he noticed how you favored one leg. You pulled a file from the drawer and walked back to the couch, handing it to him.

Silently, Sebastian opened the file, going through medical reports of you, all dated back to five years ago on that fateful night. You looked like you were avoiding looking at the files, busying yourself with preparing tea for the both of you. Sebastian read through the papers, and what caught his eyes were an x-ray of your knee, the one you were limping now, and a transverse fracture of your spine.

“Oh, my god…” Sebastian whispered, horrified. He stopped on a picture of you laying in a hospital bed, eyes red and puffy from crying that weren’t the main focus of the image, instead it was your knee, immobilized, held in place by a lot of metal pins, “What did they do to you…?”

“The crash, it bursted my knee. I almost lost my leg… Fracture, torn ligament, it was hanging by a thread. And my spine, a fracture that could’ve hindered me to a wheelchair for the rest of my life. It was brutal, my knee took the brunt of the impact, and my back was the split car…” You explained, almost robotically, like you had rehearsed that speech, your eyes were wet as you fought the tears, “They said I was lucky. Lucky I didn’t lose a leg, lucky I didn’t end up paraplegic…” You sighed, swallowing the tears, “They said I could never go back to a racing car again, because the G Forces could put too much strain on my injuries, not to mention, if I injured these two spots again, it would be risking more permanent damages. I was lucky I pulled through.”

There was bitterness in your voice, and how could you not feel bitter about that? How could you not feel angry and sad and mourn the life you once had. A life where racing had been everything to you.

“I’m so sorry,” Sebastian reached for your hand, his expression completely crestfallen, “We had seen how that car was completely unreliable, how sometimes it worked and sometimes it was a hazard to you. I never thought it could end this badly…”

“And… I’m sorry I disappeared. I know you tried contacting me for a while, but… I just couldn’t see anything related to Formula 1. I couldn’t be near all that without feeling a gut wrenching pain, without feeling anger for anything related to motorsports… I just had to get away from all that.” You explained, looking lost and Sebastian could understand your pain. Despite the times he felt angry and sad for your disappearance, now that he knew about your reason to leave completely… he understood, “I’m sorry. I know you and some other drivers tried reaching out, but I just… I wasn’t in the right mind.”

“I understand. I can’t even imagine what you went through…” he said, his voice so understanding that a lump lodged into your throat, “how was recovery?”

“About a couple of years between the back fracture and the knee… A few surgeries, lots of physiotherapy. Lots of pain and sleepless nights…”

“Did you think about fighting, suing…?” He asked softly.

“I did… I was so angry. I wanted to sue all of them, the team, the FIA, the president. But then…” You paused for a second, “It’d drag out for god knows how long, they would surely bring all the weapons, smear campaigns, defamation, and… My image as a driver, as a person, would just be even more exploited. And I was so tired, I just wanted to heal away from all that.”

“I was so worried for a while. One day I saw your manager leaving the Red Bull hospitality…”

“There was a deal. They offered me an absurd amount of money for me to not sue them, to not bring to light what happened. They also paid for all my medical bills. I also made sure they would review the safety regulations, so no driver would have to risk their life like that again. And I know you’ll say it’s not fair, that they got away with it, but… I was just so tired. I spent my whole life playing a role, being the image they wanted… that tragic ending to my career was all I got? I genuinely wanted to disappear for the longest time after that,” You said, voice cracking for a moment, “Racing was my driving force and suddenly it was ripped away from me.”

“I wish I could’ve been there for you.” He whispered, which made your eyes water for a bit, but you looked at the ceiling, willing the tears away.

“I was a mess, there would be nothing you could do for me…” You said with a devastatingly sad little smile, “And I kept myself completely blocked from Formula 1.”

“Do you still feel pain?” He asked suddenly after a few seconds of silence.

“Physically?” You shook your head, “Sometimes a little discomfort when I’m in places where the weather is very cold.”

“And emotionally?” He whispered and you looked away, swallowing.

“You’re a racer, you can imagine…” That’s all you said.

Sebastian nodded softly, he couldn’t imagine being stopped from doing the one thing he loved the most right in his prime, in the heights of his career like you. And in one fleeting moment having that all stripped away. Your ability to do what you trained your whole life for.

“How-” He cleared his throat, deciding to change topics, “How are you living here? Enjoying?”

“Yeah, lots of free time and new hobbies…” You said, looking grateful for the change in topic, “Wanna see my garden?”

“Sure,” he nodded and you both stood up, he let you lead, his eyes dropping to your slight limp, and the constant sound of the cane hitting the floor with your steps.

You took him around your garden, where there were plants, flowers and even a small cultivation of vegetables. Everything was well cared for and groomed, there was even a small greenhouse where you guided him inside. He could barely look away from your face, your pretty eyes, your lovely lips and beautiful face that only got prettier with time.

“And here…” You stopped inside the greenhouse, “Some plants that are a little more sensitive… Tomatoes, some strawberries…” You grabbed a small clipper and handed him a fresh strawberry.

He stared at you, a silly smile on his face, watching as you grabbed a strawberry and took a small bite, the juices coating your lips in a pinkish color. His eyes dropped to your hand, noticing the absence of a wedding ring, or an engagement ring.

“Do you have a significant other?” He asked, interrupting your ramble for a moment, which made you blink, blushing slightly.

“No, I-” You paused, timid, “No…”

He walked closer, entering your personal space, his hand on your jaw, holding gently, his thumb slowly wiping the leftover strawberry juice on your lower lip.

You looked at him, tempted, looking like you wanted to risk everything. But then you scolded your face, walking away from him and back to your house. He just followed you, until you two were back in your living room. He went after you, looking like a kicked puppy.

“Sebastian,” you sighed, unsure of what to say.

“What about us?” he asked, and there was so much unsaid, but you didn’t need words when you could see it all in his eyes.

And despite wanting so badly to give in, to give a real shot to something you never got the chance to explore, you also knew you were still a mess, and being away from Formula 1 for so long, you didn’t want to bring back all the bad feelings you had regarding it. It would put an even bigger strain on you two.

Things were so complicated now, you didn’t tell him you never stopped thinking about him. That you were haunted by what-ifs, that you would have vivid dreams of a family and a future with him. You didn’t tell him about all the sweaty nights when the memories of your shared passion kept you awake. And you didn’t tell him the last thing you saw before passing out after the crash were his shiny blue eyes.

“I’ve been away from motorsports for so long, and I don’t know if-”

“I retired. Last year,” He interrupted you, “and it won’t matter to us. We have so much else to explore…”

“Sebastian… I’m a mess. I look okay now, but I still have bad days. Awful days. And it’s ugly.” You said, voice clipped. Like you weren’t allowing yourself to want, to just take a leap and do what you have yearned for so long.

“I don’t care, don’t you see that I lo-”

“You need to go,” You said walking to the door to open it, as Sebastian paused like a dejavú, “Leave, Sebastian.”

He swallowed, remembering that time you said the exact same words that sent him away. That time he did exactly that, respecting your wishes instead of his own. Gulping, Sebastian took a step forward and turned around on your porch, walking away. He stopped midway to his car, looking over his shoulder. You were still rooted to the spot, watching him. He looked down at his own feet.

“Fuck it,” He muttered under his breath.

He marched back, long strides up to your porch, so fast that you could barely register when he wrapped his arms around you and picked you up in a hug, his face nuzzled into your neck, breathing in.

“No,” he whispered against your skin, “I’m not letting you go again. Ever.”

And then finally, finally, you hugged him back, tightly around his neck silently because there was no need for words, a silent understanding of finding each other again. Of having someone like him, who fought for you, to find you even when you thought you shouldn’t be found. When you broke the hug, Sebastian held your face with both hands, his thumb gently wiping the tears you had shed during the hug.

“I love you, Principessa.”

“Even now? Even after all this time?” You asked, voice shaky but your eyes with a glimmer of hope.

“Even after all this time,” He nodded, blue eyes shining in happiness, a barely contained smile on his face.

“I love you too, by the way,” You said, shyly and hiding your face into his chest.

“No, that won’t do,” He laughed, a playful cocky chuckle, “I need you to look me in the eyes when you say it,” He tangled his fingers on your hair at the nape, tugging gently so he could make you look up at him, when you did, there was this playful look in his face and you almost melted right there.

“I love you, Sebastian,” You smiled, feeling silly. Sebastian nodded, leaning forward to peck your cheek, his lips slowly descending your jaw and neck.

“Let me stay,” He asked, his lips brushing your skin and making you shudder, closing your eyes.

“Only if you stay forever,” You smiled, and he started walking you backwards, entering your house again, his hands on your hips helping you stay up as he gently nipped your neck.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” He said, kicking the door closed behind him, “You also owe me a date, Princess. Remember?” He gently laid you down on the sofa, slowly laying down on top of you, “And I intend to charge it, with all the interest fees…” He joked, pressing a soft kiss to your chin.

-----

TAGLIST: @ririgy @ironmaiden1313 @w4ltmeister @vellicora @hopefulsophie @chloeannabelle @rebelatbay @crashingwavesofeuphoria @zoeyjadetice2010

— EVANGELINE’S PAGE💌

୨ৎ ‘maybe some of us aren’t good at anything’

୨ৎ redbull, ferrari, and mclaren

୨ৎ I write, and then procrastinate, and then post, and then critically judge my ability to write

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ masterlist

Please don’t steal my work, much love ᡣ𐭩

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 eveninggstar

my graphic designer friend help make this for me because I asked nicely ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི

hi love!! when is the next part of ‘you were never not mine’ going to be uploaded?? i am in loveeee

SCENE 7 :: WE'LL PAY THE PRICE, I GUESS ↳ you were never not mine — carlos sainz ༉‧₊˚✧

★ : pairing :: carlos sainz x reader ★ : genre :: angst; smut; fluff ★ : words :: 3.8k separated by a hidden emotional turmoil, carlos and y/n navigate the complexities of co-parenting their twins amidst the high-stakes f1 world. amidst paddock visits and personal healing, will they go further apart or find their wayback to each other? ★ : a/n :: i made lots of social media posts/texts for this but decided to scratch it and write it at last. shows the dynamic or carlos and y/n more than anything. it's mostly nsfw so yeah enjoy? writing is a bit dusty and not proofread

( series masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request )

The first thing you feel is warmth. A hauntingly familiar one.

Not the kind from blankets or the sun creeping in through the curtains, but something heavier, something real, something that wasn’t making you sweat but making your chest ache. 

Slowly, you registered the weight of a hand resting on your hip. The press of soft lips against your cheek. A breathy chuckle against your skin when you scrunch your nose but don’t wake up.

You don’t have to open your eyes to know who it is.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice low and raspy from sleep, lips grazing the corner of your jaw before trailing lazily toward your lips.

You make a sleepy sound in protest, burying your face into the pillow. “Go away.”

He hums, amused at your cheeks burning up, but doesn’t back off. His fingers tighten slightly at your waist as he leans in again, brushing his nose against your cheek before pressing a lingering kiss to your lips. “Never.”

Your brows furrow, eyes still closed when you hear an exhale of breath. “What’s wrong?”

Carlos sighs again, shifting slightly, making the blanket move and suddenly you realize why he sounds so strained. His arms are awkwardly folded at his sides, barely moving, like he’s trapped. 

That’s when you register the tiny limbs sprawled across both of you and you pursue your lips in order to not burst out laughing.

One of your twins is half on Carlos’s chest, little fingers fisted into his shirt, while the other is wedged between you two, his foot pressed right into Carlos’s stomach.

“Ah,” you whisper, taking in the sight. “You’re stuck.”

Carlos groans dramatically. “Sí, and my arm is asleep.” He tilts his head toward you, lips brushing your temple as he speaks. “I have been trying to wake you up, but someone wouldn’t move.”

You smile sleepily, your fingers finding their way to his naked chest, gently tracing patterns over his skin. “You could’ve just moved them.”

Carlos gives you a look, like you’ve suggested something ridiculous. “And risk waking them up? I love them but it’s too early...”

One of the twins stirs slightly, mumbling something incoherent before curling further into Carlos. He stiffens. “This is a dangerous game, baby. We have to get them back to their room before they take over completely.”

You glance at them, at the peaceful little faces snuggled into the safety of their dad’s arms, and suddenly, you don’t feel like moving. But Carlos nudges you gently.

“Come on,” he whispers, “help me.”

Carefully, you both begin the delicate mission of untangling yourselves from your children. Carlos shifts first, expertly maneuvering one twin into your arms before you slide out of bed. He follows immediately after, scooping up the other in one practiced motion.

It comes so naturally to him that it has your poor stomach twisting.

The hallway is dim, the house still quiet as you make your way to their room.

Carlos walks ahead of you, stepping lightly, a hand cradling the back of your son’s head to keep him from stirring. You follow, watching as he nudges the door open with his foot before stepping inside.

There’s a soft glow from the nightlight. The room is neat, save for a few scattered toys and a forgotten stuffed animal on the floor.

You place the first twin into his teddy bear-shaped bed, tucking the blanket over him gently.

Carlos lays down the other twin in his race car bed, brushing a stray curl from his forehead before stepping back beside you.

For a moment, you both just watch them.

“They move so much in their sleep.”

“Like their dad.” You smile, whispering back.

Carlos nudges you playfully with his elbow, making you stifle a laugh before he tilts his head toward the little red car bed. “We should change that color, you know.”

You arch a brow at him. “What, so my baby can have a McLaren instead?”

Carlos scoffs, his eyes pointed at you in disbelief. Only you really could find humor in joking about that so early in the morning.

You bite your lip, stifling another laugh. “So dramatic.” He leans in slightly, lowering his voice. “I’m serious.”

Carlos doesn’t argue further, choosing to ignore the mention of Oscar. Instead, his fingers ghost over your wrist, a barely-there touch, before he gently takes your hand in his. His thumb runs absentmindedly over your skin, slow and deliberate.

“Let’s go,” he murmurs, his voice softer now.

He’s leaning down to press a kiss to the twin nearest to him as you do the same but when you turn your head toward him, your heart skips slightly at the way he’s looking at you warm, familiar, like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

Good, you didn’t want him anywhere but here either.

You hesitate, but Carlos doesn’t rush you. He just tugs lightly at your hand, pulling you with him, step by step, back toward your bedroom.

The moment you cross the threshold, his hands settle on your waist, guiding you back onto the mattress. He follows soon after, his body fitting easily against yours, like he was always meant to be there.

Neither of you speak for a moment. The world outside is still.

Then, quietly, almost hesitantly, you hear him say, “I missed this.”

The words steal your air and your throat tightens as you look at him. He looks exactly the same, his familiarity making you relax but at the same time, he’s so different. It didn’t make any sense and you hoped your brain wasn’t fucking with you right now.

When he watches you lose yourself in your head, Carlos kisses you slowly, like he has all the time in the world, like he wants to feel every second of this

His lips brush over yours, not demanding, not urgent. Just there, waiting, savoring. His hands move with purpose, tracing familiar curves with a tenderness that makes your breath hitch.

And okay, you feel the shift immediately. He’s been yearning for this. The way his breathing is almost non-existent and his hands are secured around your hip.

This isn’t about erasing the past or proving something.

It’s about being here, in this moment, together because being anywhere else would be a crime. The last time you guys were together had been rushed. Pathetic. Desperate. 

It had been hands fumbling, mouths clashing, bodies colliding in a mess of need. A frantic attempt to reclaim something you both thought had been lost forever.

You hadn’t spoken much then, just whispered names and broken sounds, drowning in something neither of you had been ready to name yet.

Carlos exhales against your lips, his forehead pressing to yours. "You’re so beautiful," he whispers, voice raw, like the thought physically hurts him.

Your fingers slide into his hair, tugging gently, warning him to tone down the cringe. "You always say that." Rolling your eyes you hum as he sucks at your pulse point. Eyes closing.

He pulls back just enough to look at you, thumb grazing the curve of your jaw. "Because it’s always true."

That makes you shiver beneath him, and it’s not from the cold.

Carlos kisses his way down your body, slow and reverent, his hands steadying you as he moves. When he reaches the hem of your shirt, he hesitates, fingers curling into the fabric.

He looks up at you. Waiting. It makes your heartbeat race and you curse yourself in your head as you nod.

Not giving you enough time to overthink, Carlos lifts your shirt over your head, his gaze never leaving yours. But the moment his gaze travels down towards your flesh, his expression changes.

His breath stutters. His entire body stills.

You know exactly what he’s looking at.

His fingers twitch at his sides, like he wants to touch you but doesn’t trust himself. His lips part, a shaky breath slipping through, and then-

Then his eyes glass over.

You watch the moment it hits him, the realization that your body carries proof of everything you went through without him. How you have to live through it everytime you catch a glimpse of your naked self.

The scars are faint now, healed over time, but they’re still there. Marks of the past. Marks of pain. Marks of life and loss. The one you made together but you lost alone.

Carlos presses his lips together, his jaw tightening like he’s trying to stop himself from breaking. But it’s no use.

A tear slips down his cheek and it makes your heart clench.

"Babe," you whisper, reaching for him, but he shakes his head quickly, closing his eyes like he needs a second to pull himself together. And you nod to no one in particular.

Then, very gently, after moments that felt like forever, he touches you.

His hands are warm, calloused, shaking as they trail over your stomach, mapping out the places he never got to hold, the changes he never got to witness. He traces one of the scars with his thumb, his breathing uneven, his shoulders trembling.

“I… I-” His voice cracks. He swallows, blinking rapidly, his thumb pressing slightly firmer against your skin like he’s trying to ground himself. "I should have been there."

You freeze for a second. Of course, he should have been. You remember it like yesterday, when he was on the way to the airport. You called him because it hurt. The hurt was killing you and he dismissed it with a simple,“Please visit the doctor, sweetheart.” 

Before he was on the flight while the doctors cut open the baby from your stomach only to find that…

You shake your head. It was too dark, you never want to relive it. Cupping his face, you wipe away a stray tear with your thumb. “You’re here now.” It was pointless to think about it now. You have let that hold you back, too much. You deserved to be more than that.

Carlos lets out a choked breath, half a laugh, half a sob which pulls you back to the present.

He presses his forehead to your stomach gently, lips brushing the scars like a silent apology.

Your fingers thread through his hair. “Do you still want me?” you ask softly. It was heartbreaking to be this vulnerable with him again,“I need to know, Carlos.” Maybe you could have worded that better but the need for physical intimacy was too overwhelming.

His hands squeeze at your waist, as if the idea of letting go physically pains him. "You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted."

You gasp when you realise it, and suddenly, you’re the one who can’t breathe. 

You’re pulling him up immediately, guiding him back to you. His lips crash against yours, but there’s still nothing rushed about it, just aching, consuming want.

When you reach for the waistband of his sweats, he lets you. When you push him back onto the mattress, he mutters a ‘yes, please’. When you straddle him, lining up yourself against him with slow, deliberate movements, his breath shudders beneath you.

Carlos is breaking apart beneath your hands, but he lets you put him back together.

His hands grip your hips, but you set the pace: slow, deep. Making sure he feels all of it. The first roll of your hips is met with a broken sound from his lips.

The second, with a whispered, "I love you."

By the third, he’s crying again.

You lean forward, brushing your lips over his, swallowing his shaky breaths. "It’s okay," you whisper. "I’ve got you."

Carlos exhales sharply, fingers digging into your thighs. "You feel so-" He cuts himself off with a strangled sound, his body shuddering beneath you. "I don’t deserve this."

"Maybe." You press your forehead to his. Was that mean? Maybe. But you weren’t gonna hide or lie. Not anymore. "But you have me anyway."

Carlos lets out a cracked geoan, his arms wrapping around you, holding you as close as humanly possible as you move together, slow and steady. You grind against him and he lets you do whatever you want.

When you finally reach the edge, you press your fingers against your swollen clit but Carlos quickly replaces it with his own, pushing up to increase the speed as he takes back some control.

You let go and cry out as his teeth sink to your shoulder, your nails gripping his back, as your back arches. It feels so good that you’re almost sad to have come. The climax ends in contracting your muscles making him shake before he weakly tries to pull you up. 

You whine and push down, relieved that he’s still inside you. He groans again, forehead pressed to yours like he never wants to leave but he’s shaking all over,”Baby, I’m gonna-”

"You don’t have to pull out."

Carlos stills.

For a second, you think maybe he didn’t hear you, but then his entire body tenses and you feel his sticky release fill you up.

His eyes snap open, wide and searching, like he’s trying to make sure you’re serious. His lips part slightly, his breathing suddenly uneven.

"What?"

Your fingers slide into his hair, a small, nervous smile tugging at your lips.

"We’re way past worrying about that now."

Carlos doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink.

You can feel the exact moment it registers.

His hands tighten on your waist, his breath shaking as his mouth opens like he wants to say something but can’t find the words. His eyes flicker over your face, as if he’s waiting for you to laugh, to tell him this is a joke-

But you just hold his gaze, nodding softly.

“Yeah.”

And that’s when it happens.

Carlos’s hands fly to your hips, and suddenly, he’s flipping you onto your back to regain control as if he just wasn’t having a breakdown. You gasp in shock, his body hovering over you, protective, panicked, completely wrecked.

“Y/N.” His voice is low, almost scolding, but you can hear the shake beneath it. His jaw tightens, eyes darting over your face like he’s checking, searching- like you might disappear if he looks away. "You- are you serious?"

You cup his face, thumbs smoothing over his cheekbones. "Carlos- "

"You should have told me." His voice is raw, laced with fear he’s trying so hard to bury. "You- fuck, cara, you should have told me."

Your breath catches at the way his hands clench into the sheets beside you, at the way his forehead presses to yours, like he’s holding himself back from completely falling apart. THis was also a breakdown, just a mental one this time.

“You know now,” you whisper.

Carlos lets out a shaky exhale, his fingers twitching like he wants to touch you but is afraid to.

“You almost- ” He swallows hard, closing his eyes for a second, as if the memory of what happened last time is too much.

He shakes his head. “No, I'm so fucking sorry for doing this to you. You can’t- I can’t go through that again.”

Your heart clenches. “Carlos- ”

“Y/N,” he breathes, pulling back to look at you fully, his hands framing your face, thumbs brushing over your skin like you’re something delicate, something he’s terrified of breaking. “You don’t understand. I- I nearly lost you."

His voice breaks on the last word.

You inhale sharply.

Carlos’s throat works, his breath heavy and uneven. "I wasn’t there. I didn’t even fucking know- " His eyes squeeze shut, his entire body trembling as he shakes his head, "...and if it happens again- "

"It won’t," you whisper, cupping his jaw.

He exhales a quiet, pained laugh, his eyes snapping open. "We don’t know that."

You pull him closer, pressing your lips to his softly, trying to erase the ghosts he’s drowning in.

Carlos doesn’t kiss you back at first. He’s too stiff, too overwhelmed, his hands still holding your face like he’s checking if you’re real.

Then, you whisper against his lips, "I want this, Carlos."

He lets out a low, strangled sound, like the weight of those words is too much.

“The doctor said it’s all safe,” you say again, voice soft but sure.

Carlos’s jaw tightens. His hands fall to your waist, his thumbs pressing into your skin like he needs to feel you, anchor himself in you.

"You- " He stops himself, inhales sharply, then exhales, voice barely steady. “You want this?”

You nod, firmly. Funny how he only focused on that part. “With you? Always.”

Carlos searches your face, like he’s still afraid, like his body is still buzzing with the panic of almost losing you again. But then, his forehead presses back to yours, and he breathes you in- breathes this in- and something shifts.

Something clicks.

His lips brush against yours, soft, hesitant, pleading.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispers.

"You won’t. I want you."

Carlos lets out a slow breath, presses a kiss to your shoulder, then another to your collarbone. His hands move slower now, gentler, as if relearning you, as if making sure you feel every single touch.

And this time, when he pushes inside you again, it's not desperate, it's deliberate.

Carlos moves like he’s memorizing you, like he’s worshiping every inch of you, like he’s trying to replace every painful memory with this.

His lips find yours in the quietest confession, his hands gripping your waist, steadying himself as his forehead presses against yours.

His voice is barely a whisper.

"I love you."

You whimper, nails digging into his back, pulling him closer, deeper.

His lips find your throat, pressing kisses so slow and sweet it makes your chest ache.

Carlos shudders against you, his breath uneven, his arms shaking as he moves with you, not just in you, but with you. You are quick to reach your finish, too overstimulated to take time. Your walls sucking his orgasm out of him.

And when he finally lets go, when his body tenses and his hands clutch you tighter, it’s not panic that follows.

It’s relief. It’s acceptance. It’s home.

Carlos is heavy on top of you, completely boneless as he breathes against your shoulder. His weight is comforting, his warmth all-consuming, and for the first time in what feels like forever…

Everything feels right.

Your fingers move lazily through his hair, nails scraping gently at his scalp. Carlos hums at the sensation, pressing one last, slow kiss against your shoulder before pulling back just enough to look at you.

His eyes are still soft, heavy with emotion, but there’s something else now. A sort of calm that wasn’t there before.

“You’ve ruined everyone for me.” Carlos exhales, lips quivering into a tired smirk. 

You make a face, pushing at his chest as if he wasn’t piecing you back together minute by minute. “You’re so dramatic.”

Carlos grins, rolling onto his side, but he doesn’t let you go completely. His hand slides over your stomach, fingers tracing absentminded shapes against your skin.

At least he doesn’t look panicked anymore.

“In this forever now, huh?” he murmurs and your heart stumbles. 

You cup his jaw, pressing a kiss to his lips, slow and deliberate. “We as in us, Alisa and Oscar?”

“For fuck’s sake, baby,” His eyes flutter shut for a second, like he’s calming himself down, before he exhales.

You bite back a smile, arms wrapping around his neck. “You are a big boy, you can take it.”

“Only for you.” He nips at your bottom lip, grinning when you gasp. "You’re stuck with me now, cariño."

And for the first time in months, you believe it.

For the first time, there’s no uncertainty, no lingering fear that this will fall apart again. Just Carlos, tangled up with you, holding you like he’ll never let go.

It’s perfect. It’s peaceful- your phone suddenly rings and you both groan.

Carlos drops his head onto your chest dramatically. “Ignore it.”

“It could be important.”

“I am important,” he grumbles, voice muffled against your skin as he sucks one of your nipples into his mouth.

You snort, pushing his head away before reaching over to grab your phone from the nightstand, only for Carlos to groan louder. “C’mon.”

“You’ll live.”

Carlos lazily kisses your shoulder again, completely unbothered as you listen to Lily, until you freeze. His lips pause against your skin, instantly aware of the way your body tenses beneath him.

Your heart is pounding.

Carlos lifts his head, brows furrowing as he watches your eyes dart across the screen.

Then, quietly throws in a,“What’s wrong?”

You swallow hard, blinking at the text message shared with you, lighting up your phone screen.

BREAKING: Alisa speaks out about her relationship with Carlos Sainz.

The world tilts.

Carlos’s jaw clenches. He doesn’t even have to read all of it to know that it’s bullshit, it’s revenge. Revenge for what he did to her but he knows, it’ll hurt you more.

"She gave a statement."

Carlos snatches the phone from your hands, sitting up immediately, he doesn't want you to read this. You watch the way his shoulders lock up, the way his fingers tighten dangerously around the device.

He stares at the screen. Doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe.

And just like that, it’s happening again.

The world, which had just felt steady, just felt right, is crumbling beneath you.

Carlos inhales sharply, shaking his head. "No."

You press a hand to your stomach as you bend over to read the part highlighted, the part making noise, your chest tightening. It was the part you never wanted anyone to know.

No, no, no. Carlos thinks.

It was supposed to be over. It was supposed to be your turn to be happy.

Carlos curses under his breath, throwing the phone onto the bed like it burned him. He rakes a shaky hand through his hair, eyes squeezing shut for a moment before turning to you as you speak.

“Why would she- she… it wasn't a miscarriage-”

You swallow, unable to talk, your fingers fisting the sheets beneath you, your own breathing suddenly uneven.

This isn’t just gossip. It’s your life. This isn’t just drama. It’s your real life.

This is Alisa, with the entire world watching as lies are being spread about your stillborn baby that was ripped from you too soon.

This is your past mistakes, Carlos’s past mistakes, coming back to ruin everything.

Again.

Carlos watches as you struggle to breathe, as your shoulders shake, as your hands tremble against the blankets.

And for the first time in a long time…

You see it in his face.

The same panic you felt when he walked away for that race. The same helplessness he wore when you left. 

Like no matter how hard you hold on, the universe is determined to have you fall apart.

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©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

Formula 1 fic recs

(I try to update regularly, some more than others)

Charles Leclerc¹⁶

Lando Norris⁴

Oscar Piastri⁸¹

Carlos Sainz⁵⁵

Max verstappen³³

Fernando Alonso¹⁴

Logan Sargeant²

Daniel Ricciardo³

Lewis Hamiltons⁴⁴

Kevin Magnussen²⁰

Toto wolff

Lance stroll¹⁸

Others soon...

🎐 ˚⋅ masterlist

in-progress works have a ⋆ next to them

lando norris

xoxo, gossip girl: you kind of popped into lando's life out of nowhere-and he loves it. but there's no such thing as being private when you're dating a formula one driver. sorry, did i say dating? i mean when you're friends.

we keep this love in a photograph: toto wolff's daughter and his golden boy, kimi antonelli. match in heaven, right? despite all the cute pics taken of you and kimi over the years, it turns out you might like boys behind the cameras more.

⋆ UPCOMING: lando x timothee chalamet ex!reader

franco colapinto

⋆ UPCOMING: franco x director!reader

max verstappen

"number one girl" series: one two three the story of ynmax is a very, very heated topic riddled with holes and chock full of conspiracies: a couple and split to rival brocedes. it’s mostly an a f1 thing, though, until you release an album and the internet tries to deduce what ruined a decades-long friendship.

lewis hamilton

⋆ "when we first met" series: one two you’re at the shanghai grand prix to watch zhou guanyu, your brother’s close friend, race at his home gp. now, what about the other driver in ferrari red?

poetsblvd’s f1 masterlist !

˖ ࣪ charles leclerc.

three’s a crowd, in which, everyone’s favourite driver is in competition for his girlfriends attention, much to everyone’s amusement. ❨ smau ❩

love and leo, your boyfriend is sure has his whole world in his arms as he spends a late night with you and a sleepy leo. ❨ mini ❩

birthday princess, your birthday is everything to him, a day all for the light of his life and he’s nothing but excited to start the day off with a perfect morning. ❨ mini ❩

˖ ࣪ carlos sainz jr.

bisous, all he wanted was a kiss, it’s not his fault that the paparazzi happened to catch it, and it’s purely coincidental that your brother’s going to kill him. ❨ smau ❩

sleepy days, a sleepy after grand-prix mornings with your boyfriend who’s not all that happy, and very unwilling to let you out of bed. ❨ mini ❩

baby who? it’s not easy choosing a name for your baby, especially when all the names your husband seems to want to use are completely out of question according to you. ❨ mini ❩

˖ ࣪ max verstappen.

bejewelled, in which, her post break-up era is her thriving and happy, or in which he loves her loudly. ❨ smau ❩

lover boy, in which, there’s nothing your boyfriend loves more than spoiling you rotten. ❨ mini ❩

© poetsblvd, 2024. / please do not plagiarise, translate or repost any of my work on any other platforms, it is unkind and extremely demotivating!

masterlist!

welcome to my masterlist

Sv5

interview with four time works champion

monaco memories

new beginnings

joyful gatherings

Unexpected Encounter

lost in each other's arms

brighter than the stars.

the mystery

High-Speed Desires

Lost and Found in Monaco

Cs55

stuck with the stranger | part two | part three

unknown feelings | part two | part three

spin the bottle | part two | part three | part four | part five

web of obsession | part two

you don't own me

Love, Laughter, and Appendicitis

Obsessed

Behind Enemy Lines

Sv5 and Jb22

driven by friendship

JB22

Obsession in Overdrive

bound together by destiny

hope

In His Care

Strategic Moves

FA14

side by side

CL16

a day to remember

The Champion's Prize

NR6

The uncertain future

MH

Northern Lights

MV33

Thrilling ride

Safe Haven

reconnecting

DR3

Honey badger jr | part two

Special

Pretending | SV5

Coming soon...