⟡ Max Verstappen ⟡

6th Part of the Digital Portfolio:

Unfolding the Emerging Facets of the Self

Formula 1 Fic Recs

Mark Webber

papaya family @beiasluv

Lando Norris

don't you ever grow up @beiasluv

my introvert girl @mirohlayo

taking care of you @uglyducklingofthe2000s

safe with me, love @norrizzandpia

champion to your heart @brorarri

when? @norrizzandpia

get his ass! @lewisvinga

lando norris who.. @verstappen-cult

moles @norrisleclercf1

vicious @azulpitlane

bad blood @astonmartinii

welcome interruptions @nathaslosthershit

birthday @silverstonesainz

my model, my inspiration, my muse, my everything @foreveralbon

had enough @vivwritesfics

brownies? @gentlyweeps-world

hugs! @julyretrograde

keep her safe @eternally-racing

car shopping @jaeeyaaasworld

leaftapes pt2 @planete777

driving lessons @alltoowelltom

i see ur face @uglyducklingofthe2000s

milk n honey @auggieblogs

affection @cl6teen

meme @maplesyrupsainz

delusional @xhopelesslyromanticx

shes kinda hot tho @l4nd0n0rr1s

you're such a dream to me @prettylittlels

the first time @norrizzandpia

no risk. no loss. @uglyducklingofthe2000s

Oscar Piastri

arrow and papaya @beiasluv

surprise @planetpiastri

Charles Leclerc

helmets for his and hers @lorarri

your #1 wag @lovecanyon

say don't go pt2 @landitolover

Disneyland @hemmingsleclerc

the other driver @leclerclov3

let you break my heart again @sofs16

eclairs n leclercs @hamiltvns

i can see u @luviemax

unaware @vivwritesfics

Max Verstappen

hard launch @archiverstappen

ending the war @princepiastri

bestie @chillielo

F1 Grid

secret santa @auggieblogs

When I was younger I didn’t give a care about what brand did I use for my daily hygiene needs. Everything really changes when you grow as you become aware of things. Like you want smoother hair or clearer skin so you try out these different products.

𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙈𝙐𝙇𝘼 𝟭 𝙁𝙄𝘾 𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙎.

— note: hello !! here's my first shot at making a fic rec, so please give me feedback on what i can improve. thank you sm !! i hope you enjoyy 😺 😺

• 🩷 = my most favorite reads !!

𝙊𝙎𝘾𝘼𝙍 𝙋𝙄𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙍𝙄.

— blurbs and shortwritings

• untitled by @maxlarens

• summer break shenanigans by @clemsnovalak

• the little things by @avawritesthings

• had me at hello by @be4chywritez

• human heater by @pastryfication

• new meetings by @no-144444

— oneshots/imagines

• first time for everything by @katsu28

• decode by @keerysfreckles 🩷

• cold coffee by @tsunodaradio 🩷

SORRY BUT COLD COFFEE HAS GOT TO BE, HAND DOWN ONE OF THE BEST WORKS I HAVE EVER READ. tysmm @tsunodaradio for this absolute masterpiece 🙏

— smau

• imperfect for you by @afterglowsainz

• on the mend by @fastandcarlos

• secretly yours by @paddockletters

• yeah, my wife by @lewisvinga

• grogeous by @piastappies 🩷

𝙇𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙊 𝙉𝙊𝙍𝙍𝙄𝙎.

— blurbs and short writings

• little spoon by @mirohlayo

• sorry, chat by @tsunodaradio

— oneshots/imagines

• better than the novels by @drgnsfly

• d.n.f by @norrisradio 🩷

@norrisradio i love your work sm, if yall have time read their stuff it's so good

• redline by ↑

• pick your poison, babe by @tsunodaradio

— smau

• camera girl by @forza-pastry 🩷

• how do you turn this thing off? by @povlnfour

• party time by @norrisainz33

• next in line by @piastrisun

• secret but not private by @italiangirlcoresblog

• dj got us falling in love by @astonmartinii 🩷

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙇𝙀𝙎 𝙇𝙀𝘾𝙇𝙀𝙍𝘾.

— blurbs and short writings

• retail therapy by @maxtermind

• tiktok trend by @russellsppttemplates

• in sickness and in cramps by @agentstarkid

— oneshots/imagines

• new recruit by @purinfelix

• dogsitter by @pomegranatesarchive

— smau

• 1-800-help-me-park by @httpsserene

• comeback by @harrysfolklore

• (piano) keys to your heart by @astonmartinii 🩷

𝙈𝘼𝙓 𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙋𝙋𝙀𝙉.

— blurbs and short writings

• drunk in love by @pucksandpower

• what are you doing? by 🩷@thepitlanepress

• this... is a french braid by @ipushhimback

• put me down by @thepitlanepress

— oneshots/imagines

• christmax by @harrysfolklore

• fluorescent by @scuderiahoney 🩷

• born to run by ↑

• always walk me home by ↑

• pick you up by ↑

— smau

• a night to remember by @oscarp-writes

• cute funny looking child by @pomegranatesarchive

• out of time by @afterglowsainz

• friend of a friend by @norrisainz33 🩷

• ending the war by @princepiastri

𝘾𝘼𝙍𝙇𝙊𝙎 𝙎𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙕.

— blurbs and short writings

• carlos sainz being hopelessly in love: a compilation by @harrysfolklore

• clingy by @vivwritesfics

• the dad who stepped up by @jungwnies

• sfw alphabet by ↑

• happy birthday! by @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• prank wars by @n0vazsq

— oneshots/imagines

• come find me by @tsunodaradio 🩷

— smau

• you and me by @sainzzreputaticn

• hand of gold by @pomegranatesarchive

• big news by @norrisainz33

• is it over now? by @afterglowsainz

• secret by @harrysfolklore 🩷

𝙔𝙐𝙆𝙄 𝙏𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙊𝘿𝘼.

— blurbs and short writings

• making dinner with yuki by @yukinss

• calm by @multicohn

• what about me? by ↑

• lover boy by ↑

• nightmares by ↑

• best friends "brother" by ↑

— oneshots/imagines

• i believe in miracles by @tsunodaradio

• love at first flight by ↑ 🩷

• almost by @norrisradio

• the one with the baby by ↑

— smau

• short king by @harrysespresso

• #1 defender by @lewisvinga

• short royalty by @rqsie63

𝙁𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙊 𝘾𝙊𝙇𝘼𝙋𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙊.

— blurbs and short writings

• good journalism by @purinfelix

— oneshots/imagines

• holly jolly faking by @julietsf1

• just for the weekend by @purinfelix 🩷

• lost and found by ↑

— smau

• challenge accepted by @hugleclerc

• nepo boyfriend by @harrysfolklore

• spanish or vanish by @papayadays

• i like me better by @taasgirl

IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR TYSMMM !! have a great day/night 🩷🙈

⟡ ᵒˢᶜᵃʳ ᵖⁱᵃˢᵗʳⁱ ⟡

NONE OF THESE ARE WRITTEN BY ME

ᵐʸ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ʳᵉᶜˢ

— ᶠᴸᵁᶠᶠ ⟡

stick around - @scuderiahoney

well, that isn't fucking relevant - @maxlarens

freckles - @lvndosnorris

— ˢᴹᵁᵀ⟡

my valentine - @thatsdemko

call me your fool - @userlando

— ˢᴼᶜᴵᴬᴸ ᴹᴱᴰᴵᴬ ⟡

rookie love - @astonmartinii

kiss it better (^)

cherry lip balm (^)

the smile - @dreamauri

confidence - @maplesyrupsainz

barbie - @isimpoveryou

angel eyes - @keerysfreckles

high definition (^)

heart eyes - @planetpiastri

when in rome - @nxrrislando

camera girl - @forza-pastry

birds of a feather - @lovekt

GUTS - @harrysfolklore

dress - @artoodeetootired

but mama, i love him - @pierregazly

being a wag is hard - @claypgeon

two lonely friends (^)

— ˢᴱᴿᴵᴱˢ ⟡

he likes my american smile two three four five six seven eight nine - @f1byjessie

heaven won't be the same - @81folklore

lingering ties two three four five six - @essiemclaren

With the people I come to know in my life there’s a tendency for me to take a Motherly attitude when I’m with them. This became a part of my personality since I was young because I’m just familiarized with being alone in the household as I’m an only child. Sometimes it harms me yet it benefits me in the sense that they understand my personality like this. I try to be the fun one but I tend to be the responsible one in the end.

the ‘born to die’ series

summary; a series of written/smaus fiction of various formula one drivers based on releases of singer, lana del rey

f1 masterlist

norman fcking rockwell | daniel ricciardo pt 2

daniel proves that he is just a man and that’s just what he does.

the other woman | charles leclerc

after his engagement party, y/n realizes that she will always be the other woman.

ultraviolence | carlos sainz

carlos and y/n always find themselves going back to the same toxic relationship. no matter how hard they try, it just always felt like a kiss.

chemtrails over the country club | max verstappen

nobody’s son and nobody’s daughter finally find peace with each other after the toughness of their childhood.

carmen | lando norris

y/n was addicting to everyone, the boys and the girls. lando was just another one in her path to become ultimately addicted.

young and beautiful | oscar piastri

due to her pregnancy, y/n wonders if oscar will always love her, if he will love her after she’s had their baby, after she’s no longer young and beautiful

west coast | lewis hamilton

y/n leaves lewis due to the feeling of being held back from consistently traveling to his races, only to realize how much she missed him.

say yes to heaven | george russell

3 important times during y/n’s and george’s relationship where she says yes to heaven

margaret | alex albon

moments when alex’s knows that y/n is the one for him. when he knows that he will spend the rest of his life with her.

american | logan sargeant

y/n was never one to mess around and rebel against her parents, until she met a fellow american, logan

pretty when you cry | pierre gasly

y/n will always wait for pierre, no matter how many times he leaves her crying, she will always wait.

salvatore | esteban ocon

after living a life full of cold exes, y/n never expected to find her ‘salvatore’ during a summer in monaco

million dollar man | lance stroll

in the world of her million dollar man, y/n can’t help but feel like a lost puppy and stick out like a sore thumb leading to mess of jumbled feelings

born to die | fernando alonso

coming from two different worlds, two different generations with two different goals in life, fernando and y/n question if they were really born to die

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

note; i've been meaning to do this series since norman fcking rockwell lol, but it's finally here! it may take some time to do everything but bear with me! and which fic I post may not be in order as listed!!

the paths we didn't take (cl16)

part6!

multipart story! part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

Summary : Years ago, Charles Leclerc and Y/N promised to let each other go—for his dreams, for her freedom. No calls, no texts, just memories they buried deep. But when fate reunites them in Monaco, old scars and unresolved feelings resurface. Some loves are unforgettable, but can they find their way back, or is it too late?

✦ pairing - charles leclerc x female reader

Chapter 6: "The Weight of the Past"

The silence stretched between them, the noise of the party fading into an indistinct hum. Y/N’s mind raced, memories and emotions swirling in a chaotic dance. Charles looked just as stunned, his lips parting as if to speak, but no words came out.

Before either of them could break the tension, a voice called out from behind Charles, cutting through the thick air.

“There you are, babe!”

Y/N blinked, her gaze shifting just as a woman stumbled toward Charles, clearly tipsy. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a clumsy embrace. Her laughter was light and carefree, completely oblivious to the charged moment she had interrupted.

“God, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” the woman murmured, leaning up to press a kiss on Charles’s lips. She giggled, her fingers threading through his hair, her hold on him possessive and intimate.

Charles didn’t immediately respond, his eyes flickering back to Y/N, still caught in the gravity of their unexpected reunion. But the woman didn’t seem to notice, her attention fully on him as she whispered something inaudible, her lips brushing against his cheek.

Y/N’s stomach twisted painfully, the weight of the scene before her crushing. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, her heart pounding in her chest as she took an instinctive step back. Her eyes burned, the sting of unshed tears threatening to spill over.

“I—” Y/N stammered, the words catching in her throat. She needed to get out, needed air, needed distance.

Charles reached out, as if to stop her, but his movement was slow, hesitant. His girlfriend clung to him, unaware of the silent storm brewing between them.

Y/N forced a tight smile, the mask of composure slipping into place even as her heart fractured. “It was nice seeing you,” she managed, her voice barely above a whisper, before turning on her heel.

She weaved through the crowd, her vision blurred and her chest tight. The laughter and music around her seemed distant, her mind spinning as she hurriedly made her way toward the exit. The night air hit her like a shock, cool and crisp, but it did little to ease the storm inside.

She didn’t look back.

----

Charles stood frozen, his mind reeling from what had just happened. Y/N. After all these years, she had been right there, in front of him, and then gone just as quickly. His heart raced, his thoughts a chaotic whirlwind, struggling to process the whirlwind of emotions crashing over him.

“Charles, are you even listening to me?” his girlfriend’s slurred voice cut through his haze. She tugged at his arm, pouting when he didn’t immediately respond.

“Huh? What?” Charles blinked, his gaze shifting to her, but his mind was still miles away, replaying Y/N’s shocked expression, the way her voice had trembled when she said his name.

“I said, let’s go get another drink,” she whined, pulling him toward the bar, nearly stumbling in her heels. “You’re acting weird.”

Charles sighed, trying to shake off the confusion swirling in his chest. “I’m just... thinking.”

“Thinking? About what?” she asked, her tone playful but insistent. “It’s a party, Charles. Relax! Have fun!” She pressed herself against him, her lips brushing against his neck, but he barely registered the touch.

“Seriously, can you just... give me a minute?” he muttered, stepping back slightly, but she clung on tighter, refusing to let go.

“A minute? You’ve been so distant all night!” she protested, her words slurring. “What’s wrong with you? You’re not even looking at me.”

“I’m just—” Charles ran a hand through his hair, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. He needed space, needed to breathe, but she was relentless, her drunk state making her clingier than usual. “I’m fine, just... a lot on my mind.”

She huffed, crossing her arms in a pout. “A lot on your mind? Like what? This is supposed to be fun, Charles! You’re ruining the vibe.”

Charles’s jaw clenched, his patience wearing thin. “Can you stop for a second? Please?”

She blinked, taken aback by his sudden sharpness. “What’s your problem tonight? You’ve been weird since I found you. Did something happen?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but the words caught in his throat. How could he even begin to explain what had just happened? That he had just come face-to-face with the girl who had once been his entire world? The girl he thought he had moved on from, only to feel everything rush back the moment he saw her again?

“It’s nothing,” he finally said, his voice tight. “Just... drop it, okay?”

His girlfriend frowned, clearly unhappy but too drunk to push further. She reached for her drink, taking a long sip before leaning into him again. “Fine. But you owe me for being such a buzzkill.”

Charles nodded absently, his thoughts already drifting back to Y/N. He could still see her face, the hurt in her eyes as she fled the party. His chest tightened, the weight of their past pressing down on him like a physical burden.

“I need some air,” he mumbled, gently prying her arms off him.

“What? No! You can’t leave me alone!” she whined, grabbing his hand.

“I’m not leaving,” he reassured her, though his mind was elsewhere. “Just need a minute.”

She pouted but relented, slumping onto a nearby couch. “Fine. But hurry back. You owe me a dance.”

Charles nodded, already stepping away, the noise of the party fading into the background. His mind was a mess, emotions swirling as he tried to make sense of everything. Seeing Y/N again had opened a floodgate he hadn’t even realized was still there, and now he was drowning in the memories, the what-ifs, and the unresolved feelings.

He stepped outside, the cool night air hitting him like a balm, though it did little to ease the storm inside. He leaned against the railing, staring out at the city lights, his thoughts consumed by the girl who had once been everything to him.

“Y/N...” he whispered into the night, the name tasting familiar yet foreign on his tongue. What had just happened? And why did it feel like his heart was breaking all over again?

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

taglist : @jenxjar @noam-rosier-icr @prttylight @gluecksbaerchieee

@janeh22 @tobucina @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @weekendlusting

@wisestarfishbouquet @ricciardosheart @leclercdream @sltwins

@vyctorya @mel164  @dazecrea @lol6sposts @raynetargaryan2

@ricciardosheart @leclercdream @sltwins @vyctorya @f1fantasys

COME WHAT MAY SERIES MASTERLIST

READ COME WHAT MAY SERIES HERE

→ red bull sebastian vettel x female race engineer intern & webber girlfriend!reader → based on 2010 and 2011 formula 1 seasons

current taglist: @hc-dutch @raavadakedavra @coffeedestroyingperson @evey-kuznetskova @bowielovesyou @chaoswithus @isotopemylove @iceman-kazansky @residentdemonhunter @astronomyandfrogs @herdetectivetheorist @prttylight @i-love-sirius-black7 @dreamauri @03071987 [feel free to join the taglist!]

VEE'S NOTES: Come What May series will be updated every Saturday at 22.00 CET. Here you'll find upcoming chapters and their descriptions <3

00. A phone call and a new beginning Sebastian breaks up with Hanna and Y/N, his best friend, offers him to go to her hometown to try disconnect from everything. However, things take a turn for the worst when Mark Webber, Seb's teammate and Y/N's boyfriend, calls her and starts thinking she's cheating on him with Vettel. ↳ Available on February 1st

ACT I. Loss of my life During 2010 RB6 presentation and preseason testing, Mark starts acting quite weird with Y/N. To her surprise, Webber gives some opinions on her work that start making her overthink, even when Seb tries his best to calm her down. Y/N knows 2010 season is going to be a hell when Webber asks to have a private conversation with Christian Horner and Helmut Marko. ↳ Available on February 8th

01. Read between the lines Bahrein GP marks the beginning of the 2010 Formula 1 season. Y/N and Sebastian, unaware of what they can expect from the upcoming months, have to face a much better surprise when they get to the Red Bull garage: Mark Webber talking with a girl, around Y/N's age, who unexpectedly has joined the team as Webber's race engineer intern... just like Y/N is to Seb since 2008. ↳ Available on February 15th

02. A bittersweet but proper goodbye... for now Since her last ever final exams season is about to start, Y/N has to leave Formula 1 until July, where she'll be joining her place in the team as a future Mechanical Engineering graduate, but there's something first to do: Red Bull Racing's welcoming party in Austria. While Y/N debates whether to go or not because his dad's health being worse, Seb encourages her to go. ↳ Available on February 22nd

03. I'll be there, promise Red Bull Racing's beginning of the season party is such a success for everyone... except Y/N. Not only she has a boyfriend who's making her overthink a lot about their relationship and, also, about her position at the team, but also Y/N starts having the feeling that not everything is what it seems and that, maybe, things aren't going the way she thought, maybe including her friendship with Seb, who seems a bit off with Webber. ↳ Available on March 1st

04. That's not the look of friendship, Vettel It's Y/N's 22nd birthday and, contrary to Mark, who told her he wasn't able to go visit her because he was visit, Seb is there for her and, also, her family. While this is just something quite common for her sisters, aunt and uncle, Y/N's father, Bernhard, has the feeling that there's something that Y/N and Seb are keeping a secret from each other. ↳ Available on March 8th

MORE TO COME SOON

THE GREATEST — TRUE BLUE

[ part one / masterlist / requests are open ]

☽｡⋆ part 2 of THE GREATEST. he tried to live without you, but how is one to survive with a broken heart? a story based on TRUE BLUE by billie eilish. — lando norris x fem!reader (could technically be read as a stand-alone)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 angst, hurt & comfort, hints of fluff (?) 𝄞 4.1k words

❝ Lights out, you’re not here holding me ❞

Lando had never before felt the way he did the day you left him. Seeing you walk through that door, intending to never come back to him ever again, it pained him. It took him too long to realize how much he hurt you, and now he had to suffer the consequences. He swore it wasn’t on purpose, but when his friends told him that also the third girl he had brought along since you broke up with him resembled you in a way, he stopped denying. There was no use. The guys knew, the internet knew, he knew that he wasn’t yet over you. And he thinks he never will be. You left an empty place in his heart, a place that would forever be reserved for you only and you only. No matter how hard he tried to find someone else, no one would ever be able to replace you.

The girl he brought to the first race after the summer break was long forgotten already.

At first, everyone around him believed him when he said he felt happier now without you. But the moment he went back to his old ways, the heartbreaker they’ve known for so long, they realized he wasn’t. The girls always looked like you. He only rarely smiled anymore and he couldn‘t care less about his friends‘ relationships, even going as far as faking a gag or simply not coming to hang out with them at all. He said it’s because he needs to focus on racing. They knew it was because of you. Lando was yet to tell them why the relationship ended. He’d rather crash his car and DNF in every race for the rest of his life than to ever have to talk about the night you left ever again. He felt embarrassed and bad and was so terribly regretful. Only his parents knew the whole truth. He told them with tears caressing his face just like you once did, and seeing the disappointment in their eyes, he felt his heart rip apart even more. They had loved you so much, only waiting for the day he would finally go down on one knee for you, and now he messed it all up.

If he could just go back and make it all alright. Make you feel unconditionally loved wherever you went, make you happy, keep you happy. He would change it all if he just had the chance, but he knew you deserved better. Maybe one day, he could be better again.

He is ready to give up the very thing for you that had made you leave him that night if you’d ask him to. Racing would never again mean as much to him as you, though broken up, still do to him.

He was currently seated in his McLaren, waiting for the lights to go out so he could try his very best to overtake max at the start already. He should have his mind on the track. He shouldn’t think about you, not here. But like always, he couldn’t help it. He hoped to see you in the stands once he was able to get out of the car again. He hoped to see you wave and smile at him, run into his arms and let him kiss you all over, do all the things he had failed to do so many months ago. He knew it wouldn’t happen. He believed anyway. The lights went out and the cars began moving. He tried his best, he always did, but he wasn‘t afraid to lose anymore; for what was it worth to win a race when he had faced the greatest loss of them all already?

❝ I count every tear down my cheek instead of sheep ❞

You couldn’t sleep. You could never sleep while he was racing. Especially when he was on the other side of the world, which is why you went with him last season, and also at the start of this one. Maybe you never should’ve. Long distance was hard, but you managed. He felt farther away when he was still sleeping next you every night. At least when he didn’t send you off to sleep on the couch.

You tossed and turned in your sleep, but you didn’t dare to turn on the TV. It’s been months, you should try to live without him. Without seeing him. Without feeling for him. His races had nothing to do with you, neither did the outcome. And god, if he wins and you have to watch him kiss someone else again you might as well just take his racing car and drive right into the nearest wall. He’s so far away and yet, it didn’t make you love him any less. You huffed, fear slowly building up inside of you. You knew you shouldn’t do this, you had to wake up early tomorrow and really, it wouldn’t be that bad to miss a race once or twice, but you couldn’t help it. Reaching for the remote, your eyes were flooded with tears and your heart stung like never before when you saw him driving out there. You were rooting for him nonetheless. Just months ago you had watched the races from inside the McLaren hospitality, but now? All alone in your bed, anxiously following his every move. You would never fall asleep like this.

❝ Sleepwalk, find myself on your street. Three knocks, ring the bell, then I leave ❞

And there you stood high up in the stands the next weekend, head hanging low as you didn‘t want any fans of him recognizing you, back in his territory. You tried to ignore him, you really did, but your eyes kept following him around the paddock and didn’t leave him even while he was doing the quick interviews he had to do on his way there. And honestly, it kinda felt like home. Attending the races. Being near him. Being with him. You missed it more than anything else in the world, and you felt pathetic for it. He hurt you every way he could, and still, he didn’t hurt you enough to make you hate him. And you really wanted to hate him.

You went to the race together with one of your friends from uni. You bonded over formula 1 and your shared passion for the sport and quickly became very good friends. However, she had to leave soon, moving to another city for a better starting point for her career. Hence, you decided to save some money and go to a race together for the last time; for now, at least. You still remember the way she looked at you when you told her you were with Lando. The way you swooned over him to her, and the way you cried your eyes out when it all ended. You really thought you‘d be able to spend the rest of your life with him, and now all you had left of him were memories. She‘s known you long enough to immediately notice your longing after him the moment your eyes locked onto his dark brown curls. Your heart fluttered and it made you nauseous. One day this would stop, right? Your feeling must fade at least sometime, or was this all just wishful thinking? Could you not just get over him like everyone else got over their exes and start dating someone new?

Your heart ached. He was so close, not out of reach anymore, not on the other side of the world anymore, but still, there was no way of getting back to him, the crash barriers and the grandstand keeping you away, and it felt like the end of your relationship all over again, with him on the track and you sitting and waiting patiently on the sidelines, always at least an arm length distance between you two. You shouldn’t even want to get him back. You left out a sigh as he walked into the McLaren hospitality, finally out of sight. But still not out of mind.

Your friend huffed next to you, and finally decided to try and convince you to talk to him after the race while you were still in the same place, to get closure at last. You knew it must annoy your friends and maybe even your family that it was so hard for you to just move on. They put effort into understanding, but still, Lando wasn‘t good to you, at least not in the end. Many would treat you better, but you didn‘t seem to care. You quickly shook your head no, telling her how he probably didn’t want to talk to you and that catching him after the race would be nearly impossible, with bodyguards and tons and tons of interviewers and cameras around him.

The conversation ended soon after, as the lights went out and the drivers hit the gas. You pondered for a second, reconsidering your friend‘s suggestion, a weird feeling building up in your stomach. Maybe you shouldn’t even be here, maybe you should *leave* after the race and never look back. But to your dismay, every sense in your body was telling you to stay.

❝ I try to live in black and white but I’m so blue ❞

The race went well, but he didn‘t really care. Of course he was happy, the whole team was euphoric for their two drivers who secured place 2 and 4, huge smiles plastered on their faces. Once he was done with the post-race interviews he left to go back and get some rest inside his apartment, at least until the others came around to drag him to the afterparty, slandering from one club into the next one.

Everything felt so lonely without you. His bed was cold even when he was hidden under his blanket, and the dining room was nothing more than a reminder that he wasn‘t spending his evenings with you. Watching TV got boring. Everything got boring. He didn’t even know why he lost you anymore, he didn’t know what the hell it was that made him believe you weren’t made for him, making him believe there was actually something more important than you in this lifetime. You haunted his every thought, and even though he truly only wanted the best for you, deep inside him, he wanted you to still need him as well.

He stood in front of his bathroom mirror, gently buttoning up his shirt like you used to do, always leaving the 3 highest ones unbuttoned. He missed your touch, your eyes looking up at him and your hands always reaching for his. His arms would be wrapped around your waist and his head would be leaning on your shoulder, sneaking a few, small kisses up your neck as you changed your earrings for the night, the imagine of it painted onto your fast beating heart as you stood in front of the full-body mirror in your apartment, finishing up your accessoires. You wore a blue dress that covered your thighs, not reaching your knees. It hugged you in all the right places, accentuating your features. It used to be Lando‘s favourite, but you had no other alternative, not having brought any other dresses. Your friend insisted on going clubbing anyway, desperately wanting to finally get him off your mind for one night at least.

The other drivers were loud and happy and drunk and Lando sat next to them, staring at his already empty glass. He knew how this would go. At some point, either the drivers or one of their girls would tap his shoulder, saying they have a friend they think he would really like, and if he would like to be introduced to her. He would agree so they would finally keep their mouths shut, he would talk to the girl. Maybe they would kiss if he drank enough. Maybe he would take her home. Maybe he would think about you the whole time, maybe he would accidentally call her your name. Maybe he would wake up in the morning and would be happy that she‘d left, content with it only being a one-time thing and not meaning anything.

Because, in the end, nothing meant anything without you.

He pretended to laugh at the jokes of his friends, but really, none of this was fun to him. These nights were nothing more than a constant reminder of how he used to have his fun while you were waiting for him at home, cold and sad and alone. How could he be so stupid and leave you alone all the time? He doesn’t even know why he did it anymore. He yawned, very obviously not enjoying the party. Yes, it was nice seeing his friends so happy, the mood wasn’t as tense as it was around and on the track and the people inside the night club were vivid, dancing and drinking, seemingly having the time of their life downing countless beverages, but still, the happiness didn’t reach him.

“Dude, I think your girl‘s here.“ Oscar pushed him slightly, two vodka bull in hand for himself and Lily. Lando didn’t pay him any mind and rolled his eyes, not really in the mood for talking to any girl that isn’t you at the moment. Couldn’t they just give up? He wasn’t ready yet for someone else, he didn’t even know if he wanted to be with someone that isn’t you at all. Ever. Instead of arguing with Oscar about how he didn’t want to hear from any other girl right now, he went to get another drink as well.

He pushed through the dense crowd of people, navigating through the cacophony of laughter and piercing yelling that seemed to echo from all directions. The deafening loud music blasting through his ears made it difficult to focus, and the harsh sound of glass clunking together only added to it. The colorful LED lights rapidly switched from green to red to purple to yellow in a matter of seconds, creating a dizzying light show that overwhelmed his vision. This sensory onslaught of sounds, sights, and sensations overstimulated his senses, making each step forward feel like an effort.

Finally at his destination, he waited for the waiter or waitress, he wasn’t quite sure, to get his order. He wasn’t certain what his plan was that night at all. Sleeping around or not, you wouldn’t stop haunting his mind anyway, so was it really worth it? Getting drunk and trying to make his nights feel less lonesome? Or should he just wait and really focus on his carrer again until maybe, one day, you’d come back?

He ignored the possibilty of you not coming back at all.

He let his eyes wander around the scene unfolding in front of him, occasionally making eye contact with random girls who winked at him and tried to get his attention, but he didn’t pay them any mind. Frustration started to bubble up inside of him as the wait for his drink seemed to go on for forever, until suddenly, his heart skipped a beat.

Lando was certain that in a room full of people, he would always be able to notice you first. He pondered if it was you whenever he‘d walk by a girl with the same hair colour as you, immediately dismissing the thought when he saw a face that didn’t match yours just a second later. But this time, it was different. The hair ressembled yours without a doubt, and of course he remembered the dress he had bought for you so long ago; never once had he been able to keep his hands to himself when you wore it. The height matched you perfectly as well. But it couldn’t be you, right?

Oscar‘s words replayed in his mind and he finally understood what he meant. Who he meant.

It was really you.

You tried to enjoy the party, but you really weren’t doing so well. Your friend had left you near the bar, thinking you’d be hitting it off with a guy you’ve been talking to for some time, but that wasn’t the case. he left just five minutes after to go home, asking if you’d like to come with him. You denied, but your friend was nowhere to be found, having found someone in this club herself. It was scary being alone in a club full of drunk, intoxicated people, even more so when you sensed someone staring at you from behind. You didn’t have to worry about things like that when you were still with Lando, with him always stuck to your side, a protective arm hanging around your shoulders. you shuddered at the thought, and dared to turn around to find the very person who was looking at you so steadily.

And then you locked eyes.

The world suddenly went quiet. All the chaos, the noise, it all faded into the background, no sound to be heard other than the synchronised, rapid beating of your heart. It seemed as if the only two people in that room were you and him, only the void surrounding the two of you. The LEDs turned blue, engulfing you and him, the light accentuating your features and he couldn’t move even if he wanted to, stuck in a trance of what this could mean for him in the future; what this could mean for you both. Time seemed to stand still. He wanted to run to you, to hold you, to tell you how much he missed you, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor. His breath hitched and so did yours, all the yearning, all the longing hitting you and him at lightspeed.

You walked towards him, each step filled with electricity. The tension was palpable, his mouth agape as you stood in front of him, only centimeters away from closing the gap between you. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to apologize, so many things he wanted to make right, but he didn‘t dare to say things first, afraid too scare you off. The last thing he wanted is for you to leave him again.

“I didn‘t know you‘d be here, thought I‘d seen Oscar but I wasn‘t sure,“ you started, stumbling over your own words, laughing awkwardly, then biting your lip right after. He noticed, because you always did that when you were nervous; you’d done it too when you broke up with him. You wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but that would be a lie, one he could look right through of. You just couldn‘t process actually being in his presence again.

“You still wear the dress?“

“It‘s, uhm, quite pretty, so yeah.“ You nodded along to your own words, gulping at the tense and awkward silence right after, looking down at your shoes, the sight of him in this light still not leaving your mind. Maybe he didn‘t even feel the same way, maybe he didn‘t even want to talk to you. Maybe you already made a fool of yourself when you made your way over to him, maybe you really should‘ve just stayed at home. But at the same time, this is what you‘d hoped for this whole time. To finally see him again.

“I‘m so sorry for what I did to you, y/n, please believe me. E-Ever since you left, I couldn‘t stop thinking about you. Not once. I tried to move on, y‘know, would probably be better for you as well, ‘cause you deserve better than how I‘ve treated you at the end and I don‘t want to have to put you through that again but I just- I miss you so much, I don‘t know what to do! And now you‘re here and I swear I‘ve been waiting for a moment like this and-,“ he stopped for a second, heavy and shaky breaths filling the silence, „If giving up racing means you‘ll let me come back to you, I‘ll do it.“

Your teary eyes widened and you looked up at him again, staring into his. One could take it as an empty promise. But you knew better than anyone else that Lando wasn’t one to joke about racing, ever. “Lando you can’t just- I- I mean, racing? It didn‘t work before Lan I just- don‘t give up your dreams for me, please? You shouldn‘t, you have so much ahead of you still,“ you sighed out, every single part of your body overwhelmed like never before.

But Lando was certain. He traced every yet so small feature of your face and body with his eyes, and he knew in that exact moment that, no matter what, he could never lose you again. Not this time. Not when fate hat somehow brought you together once again, giving him a second chance to make it all better. Question was now if you’d let him have that second chance too.

He lifted his hand to gently wipe away the tear running down your cheek, having you lean into his familiar touch. “I’ll do it for you”, he said, and that was when you broke apart, legs feeling numb and wobbly suddenly. Tears streamed down your face as you took another step forward and he wrapped his arms around your body out of reflex, gently placing soft kisses on top of your head, tearing up as well as your cried into his chest.

Maybe it was bad, maybe you shouldn’t feel like this again, but you’ve never once after the breakup felt as at peace with yourself and your as you did now, even if you were in a loud and busy club, surrounded by drunk and high people. You managed to push them to the back of your mind, the familiar scent of Lando’s perfume calming your senses. It felt like home. Maybe he really did owe you something, and though you once were anguished because of it, you wouldn’t ever deprive him of the joy of racing. There would be a way through it without having to abandon any of your or his dreams. There must be if you want it to work out, and you were sure that this time, it would. And so was he.

Lando took you home with him that night, not before you shot your friend a quick text message, afraid she might think you were kidnapped or whatnot. You knew that you’d have to fly home again in two days. He knew that too, but there was no need to rush things anyway. You were still his and he was still yours, and that’s all that mattered for now. It’s gonna be weird explaining this to your friends and your family, but neither of you minded it as long as it meant you could be with each other again. You would have to talk things through and see how you’d manage the race weekends and the events and the media - but not now. Now, with you calmly and lightly snoring in his arms, he didn’t care about any of that, simply content with having you again.

He promised you before you drifted off into your tranquil slumber that he will make it right this time. He will be there for you no matter what, he will defend you and take you with him and show you off and love you like already should have done all these months ago. This time, he will put in the work and the appreciation and the effort, and then, you will finally be able to be the greatest.

❝ I’d like to mean it when I say I’m over you, but that’s still not true. ❞

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