I Know I Can't Argue With Reality Here But It's Devastatingly Unromantic That Blood Transfusions Only

My brother cracked my rib one morning and gave me half of his orange in the evening.

I remember being younger and sometimes wishing to be a single child, to have all the attention and gifts and time but when he was away from home for the first time, I remember crying and stroking his side of the sofa as if blurting out my first wish- for him to be home, without thinking twice, without a shadow of doubt. Even the genie cried. Growing up with a sibling is like being the only people on a stranded boat, constantly figuring out how you can live with them and questioning how you could ever live without them.

One evening, in a fit of anger, I told him how I never wanted him to be my brother and he yelled that he didn't ask for it either. The air smelled like kerosene and my chest was filled with arsenic. I was raging and threw his favorite toy aeroplane down the window, 7 stories of guilt and shame. He cried all night and I wanted to cut off my right hand, the hand that hurt my baby brother. I didn't know if he was ever going to forgive me or even talk to me. The next morning at breakfast, he didn't look at me or say a word, I felt like my chest was about to explode and guilt clouded my vision. But then, I felt a hand quietly holding half of an orange my way.

The only people on a stranded boat. How do you live with them? How could you ever live without them?

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

renaissance in the 21st century

massive props to neil perry for not crying after every single conversation with his dad

i’d do it even if circumstance deemed it not necessary

(for legal reasons, this is a joke)

i relate to henry winter a lot because i too am a chaotic bisexual who would murder a sexist homophobic asshole if the circumstances deemed it necessary.

my great uncle

some interesting facts about my great uncle who is a mysterious academic icon to me

- he went to Oxford AND Cambridge i don’t know why or how but he did he did history (1500-now) at oxford and social and economic history at cambridge.     - he went to oxford when J.R.R Tolkien was a fellow of the school (after teaching) and told me Tolkien would eat lunch then stand on the table and recite Nordic/Viking poetry and it always confused the new students.                              - he knows at least 3 language i think. - he worked for the British government but we don’t know what he did and he won’t tell us. - is banned from Russia, China and USA for unknown reasons                              - lost all of his luggage on a conference/diplomatic(?) trip to Malaysia and had to order a custom suit and shoes because he  was 6′4 and he has size 12 shoes. it was for the next day                                                                                  - the Bolivian (armed) police were sent to find him when he forgot to tell someone where he was going so they thought he had been kidnapped but instead he went to a museum that was put on lock down while people searched for him. he had no idea what was going on and when he got back to his hotel found dozens of notes under the door telling him to contact them when he got back and where he was.                                                               - lives most of the year opposite a castle then come up to visit my grand-dad and stays in his other house in a tiny *tiny* village which is not much more then a few houses on boggy marsh land/moors on the coast.                                           - both of his houses are cozy and old and filled to the brim with books. Literally. i think the second house was actually just so he had another place for his books.  - has met Prince Charles on multiple occasions and they always talk for hours and is on less formal (but still formal) terms with him.                -met an MI6 spy at a garden party and didn’t know till his boss told him a few weeks later and only then he realised that the mans face was in no pictures.        - is in his 60′s and only ever owned about 3-4 cars because he drives them till they fall apart. literally, only when the wheels and a door fell off did he get a new one. - is friends with a Lord who has a steam train on his estate that works, he goes around every now and then and goes on the train.                      - the name he goes by is actually his middle name because he doesn’t like his first name. -was a french teacher apparently

i’ll add more if i’m told more or remember more

(this was originally all nice and lined up but i used my phone so if it looks weird that’s why)

confession: i was a theatre kid but thankfully my mum put a stop to it and also the ~anxiety~

the disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

not a single vampire boy has slid into my asks and i am immeasurably disappointed

living your best dark academia life:

learn french, greek or latin

wear tweed, glasses and oxfords

read and write poetry

learn to play piano, and also the violin is magnific

always have a book on you 

be gay 

practice painting, drawing and other arts 

go to museums

murder?

PEN PALS

I’m looking for a pen pal preferably in the U.K. but I’m okay with elsewhere.

Preferably people in their teens like me just so it’s easier to talk too.

So message me if your interested and up for it

U speak german?!

not a lot but i speak other languages and i got the general gist of it being the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century :)