Everyone Has The Name Of Their Supposed Soulmate Printed On The Inside Of Your Wrist. You, However, Are

Story time!

Warning: This is just a fluffy anecdote but I felt the need to put it on the Tumblr because so many posts surrounding these kinda subjects are shrouded in anxiety and sadness. I PROMISE there is a point 😂

ANNYWAAY. I recently started spending time with this guy. Eventually he asked if he could take me on a date. I said yes. The date was very similar to just our hanging out before, only towards the end he held my hand. I let him. Afterwards I went back to my place and told my closest friends about the lovely evening.

After a bit of giddiness in a group message, my one friend asked: “does he know you’re asexual?”

Right then and there, it hit me. If I would like to continue seeing this guy, eventually calling him my boyfriend, I would need to tell him. I was terrified.

About 4 days later he came over to my place and kept me company while I did chores. After about an hour I got tired and decided to show him my favorite comedy. We sat on my bed. I was nervous. About 5 or 10 minutes into settingly down, we held hands. A couple minutes later I was casually lounging in his arms. I could sense he wanted to kiss me but he wasn’t the least bit agressive and continued to hold me.

About 2 hours later. We both had other responsibilities. As he was leaving I told him. I mumbled out a string of sentences essentially saying “Hey I have a complicated relationship with physical affection… I don’t always call it this but the most accurate way to describe me is *asexual*” I stared down at my feet and told him he did nothing wrong I just needed him to know. I ran back inside.

I followed up over text because I was just too anxious to say anymore in person. He told me he’s a little scared of crossing a line but that it’s not my fault and I’m just gonna have to help him. He admitted that it was new to him but he wanted to persue me regardless of my orientation (he even called it that which made me really happy) We briefly talked boundaries and I made sure he knew that I was still attracted to him romantically. I ended the conversation by saying that I wouldn’t mind if he kissed me now that he knows about me. We both laughed at and he thanked me for trusting him enough to say something.

*Why am I telling Tumblr this:*

Real life is not the Internet. Not everyone equates intimacy and sex. While not everyone you date is going to be the right fit for you and your asexuality—Hecc, I barely know how Guy and I are gonna last—there are people out there that understand (or are willing to). There are asexual people ready to date asexual people. There are sexually attracted people who would be proud to call an asexual person their SO.

You just have to use your strength to say something.

Clear up those misconceptions.

Tell them what you need, and what you need them to refrain from doing.

Love yourself and the right person will love you.

Yes it’s difficult at times. You may think: “What if they don’t believe me that I like/love them?” “What if they think I’m implying they are a sex obsessed deviant?” “What if they think I’m useless?”

You just have to look out for the ones that are willing to listen regardless of their prior understanding.

Being asexual presents it’s own set of unique obstacles; statistically way more people are sexually attracted to others than they are asexual. And that’s okay. Give life a chance.

*But most importantly*

Do it when you are ready. I chose to tell him then because I have chosen to continue seeing him. If you do not feel safe. You don’t have to tell. Everything is up to you. :)

ppl don’t understand adhd/autistic cleaning processes. we think so far ahead it’s like,,, impossible to do shit. you want me to vaccuum my bedroom floor? okay. we need to pick up all the stuff thats on it first, though. and where are we going to put the stuff? well, theres a couple categories of Stuff- Clothes, Random Items, and Trash. Trash is easy, we just throw it away. Clothes have to be sorted into Clean, Not Clean- and then the not clean ones have to go in the laundry bag, but theres so many so i might have to start a load now- ugh, distracted. lets go back to the clean clothes. well, these go in my drawer but- my drawer is really disorganized, so i’ll have to organize the clothes first so that theyll fit and look neat. by the time i’m done with that, i’ve spent an hour and a half trying to do stuff in my room. i finally turn to random items, most of which can find a home on my desk, but others i dont really know what to do with. plus, my desk is dirty. so i have to organize my desk, figure out where everything goes, and the stuff that doesn’t have a place can go in… a box, i guess. (not like i don’t have three other boxes full of random stuff in my closet)  so i put all the items back up but now i have this box full of stuff i dont know if i need so i have to go through it, sorting it into donate and dont donate piles. i might as well throw in some clothes to, so i dig through my clothes drawer and get the clothes i dont want, throw them in there too. okay, back to the random items- the ones i dont want to donate are still here, so i have to put them somewhere. i dont have anywhere to put them- maybe i should get a shelf? i start googling shelves, figuring out which ones would be best for my room, debating prices, learning about installation, and eventually im like ‘well, already on my computer’ and i decide im going to ‘check’ social media and end up lost in it for an hour or so. you walk back in, and theres stuff all over the floor, albeit in bags and boxes, and it still hasnt been vacuumed. its been five hours since i started. how does it take five hours to clean your room? it just does. 

Okay, so you’ve been called smart all your life. As a kid, you were one of the smartest in your class. Maybe you could read at a much higher level than your peers, or you could fly through multiplication drills like they were nothing. Then, you get to high school and suddenly you’re surrounded by lots of people who were ‘gifted kids’. None of what made you ‘special’ seems all that important now. Your work is actually challenging, and it’s actually requiring effort.

If you’re experiencing this, just know that so many students have gone through the same thing. Maybe it happens in high school, maybe college. But a lot of us who were considered gifted as kids suddenly run into this and it challenges our entire identity. It can be paralyzing, but it’s 100% possible to overcome it and succeed! I’ve compiled a few tips for ex-gifted kids dealing with impostor syndrome and self-doubt. I’m not a therapist, psychologist, or any sort of education expert. I’m just speaking to my own experiences, and I welcome any input from others who have insight into this as well!

1. Understand that working hard does not mean you aren’t intelligent. If something doesn’t come naturally to you, that’s not a reason to give up. Believing that people can do things “just because they were born with a talent for it” is only going to hurt you. It’s not true! People may have natural aptitudes for things, but hard work is involved even for the smartest or most talented people. You are capable of learning anything, and you don’t have to be “good at it” right away to do so.

2. Comparison will kill you. You are your only competition. Focusing on how you rank with other students, and comparing yourself to your classmates is going to exhaust you. By focusing on others, you can’t put your full energy into focusing on your work and yourself. You belong. Even if you struggle with your work, you belong. Focus on your own self-improvement and doing your best.

3. Don’t focus on the goal, focus on your current actions. If you’re always thinking about the future, and about whether you’ll get into that school or that program or win that award or get that scholarship, you’re not using that time to get work done. Don’t worry about college applications, just do your homework. Focus on what you are doing now to reach your goals so you can apply to schools with confidence later.

4. Your grades may not reflect intelligence, but they do reflect work ethic. Don’t let others convince you that grades mean nothing. They sure as hell mean a lot to colleges, and thinking that you should “reject the current education system” is not going to harm anyone but yourself. If you don’t feel like you’re learning anything in your high school classes, that’s all the more reason to want to get into a university that will challenge you. If you put effort into your work, it will not let you down. Your hard work will be reflected on your transcript. Don’t lose focus.

5. Talk to someone. Let people know if you’re struggling. It can be hard to feel like you aren’t allowed to identify as “smart” or to feel pressure to constantly compete and improve. I went to a highly competitive high school that pushed kids to cope in dangerous ways. This is not healthy and not okay. If you’re feeling overwhelmed you need to find healthy coping mechanisms. Speak with someone you trust and don’t let yourself spiral. Don’t try to self medicate. Your well being is always more important than your grades. Period.

6. Enjoy yourself. School may seem like hell, and you may feel like it will never end and you’ll always be stressed and worried. But high school is only four years, and you can do things during that time that you probably won’t ever again. Take advantage of things that seem fun, even if people think they’re nerdy or weird. Try and remind yourself that you’re lucky to have your education and you have the power to do great things with it. Don’t lose sight of your own ability and your bright future!

I get a lot of DMs asking me “How do I know if I have ADHD?” and the short and boring answer is “you can’t unless you talk to a doctor”.

But I want to share what I think should have been obvious clues to me!

I think it’s hard to judge your own symptoms if all you’ve known your entire life was ADHD. I was convinced I had no problems and just had to stop being lazy and all my problems would go away.

So, to everyone asking themselves “what if I’m just lazy?”, I hope you can find the courage from this to seek a diagnosis! And if you can’t:

Your struggles are legit and real, if they have a name or not.

*Kicks down door and breaks into your house* BE AWARE OF ASEXUALITY BITCH!!!!!!

On this week, one year ago, I came out for the first time, to my best friend. Her good reaction encouraged me to be progressively more open about it ever since. Today I’m able to confidently say it: I’m ace, I’m proud, and the world can die mad about it. Happy asexual awareness week you beautiful people! Love, support and respect your ace-spec friends and relatives!!

(Click the images for better quality. This comic and this story really mean a lot to me and I’d be forever grateful if you could reblog it! Thanks!)

book smart add/adhd(??) kids

no one catches it until you are older (or never) (i’m 18 i was diagnosed months ago)

you can hyperfocus on the schoolwork and projects you’re working on but you’re most likely losing 2-3 things a day that you absolutely need and getting in trouble for it 

not being able to prioritize which work goes first and doing a ton of research that isn’t necessary and getting off track super easily

takes you 2 hours to do an hour long assignment if you have too much time to do it

having the uncontrollable urge to fidget with anything in any way but being super annoyed by it

drawing during lectures once you take down the notes on the board because you can’t pay attention anyway so why waste your time trying? you can figure it out from the notes

not really needing medication because you’re doing fine in school

p r o c r a s t i n a t i o n

some teachers love you because you get so excited about what they’re teaching you (hyperfocus/hyperfixation) and others think you’re chill but you don’t really participate because you don’t care

literally living off of to do lists and check lists and lists lists lists WRITE IT DOWN OR IT’S GONE FOREVER

taking melatonin to sleep

“if i finish these two pages of reading, i get to watch one episode of friends” five hours of friends later with 28 pages still left to read and netflix asks if you’re still watching: “yes.”

can’t focus on math without music playing but can’t focus on english with music playing

gifted in elementary school, and it all went downhill from there, at least it feels like it did because you no longer LEARN, you just memorize

Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.

Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?

And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run

But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually

Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.

Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!

being a so-called “gifted” kid is fun bc people think your life must be extraordinary but,,,, as far as me and all the other “gifted” kids i’ve met….. its more like *ends up taking god-awful courses bc the teachers think they want to be challenged* *loses sense of childhood* *gets hated by all their peers bc of jealousy for “special treatment” that doesnt exist and better grades* *experiences extreme burnout by age 12 and stops functioning in a school setting entirely* *gets their dreams shot down because they have “too much potential” to chase after small jobs* *cries over getting a b grade* *doesn’t sleep* *gets abused as a kid by people who want to take advantage of their circumstances* *isn’t believed if they say they have a disability because “they’re too smart!”* *doesn’t sleep* *doesn’t sleep* *doesn-

If you’re having a bad day, watch this

Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?

Clarice Lispector (via remnantsofapoet)