PSA

PSA

You shouldn’t have to *try* to be attracted to someone. Like it shouldn’t take any kind of purposeful intent on your part. It should just happen. It should be natural.

I find myself every once in a while falling back in to old habits I developed as a kid when I was trying to fit in. I’d look at someone and kind of *will* myself to have a crush on them or think they were sexy or whatever.

I’d look at someone and then imagine doing some kind of romantic thing with them and if i wasn’t completely repulsed by the idea then I’d be like “yeah I guess I’m attracted to them.”

But that’s really not how it’s supposed to work.

I imagine that this is something that a lot of non-straight people can probably relate to. I’m sure a lot of you went through that “trying to be straight” phase.

Just know that when it comes to sexuality/attraction, if it feels unnatural then it probably is

More Posts from Ace-with-anxiety and Others

5 years ago

I have no idea what we did, but the Travelers fandom has been blessed with the most amazing male characters. David, Trevor, and Philip are such wonderful people, the amount of generosity, care and kindness the have for others melts my heart and brings me to tears. Each and every episode further proves how awesome they are and it is a wonderful thing to see on a TV show.

And the ladies are such badasses and so smart and skillful, they floor me, especially Carly.

Going in, I didn’t think this show was anything special, but boy, was I wrong! I’m so glad I gave it a chance. I honestly hope it will get renewed for S3

6 years ago

A Complete Guide to Ilvermorny

What Ilvermorny Means

This section focuses on the bare bones of each house. Later I expand in great depth on the specific combinations.

Wampus:

Pragmatism. The Wampus wants real world results. It wants things that can assist these results. It will take real, immediate action to achieve these results. Oriented towards events, the exterior world, and action. Searches for advantage in everything. Searches for ways to win. Competition, winning, the real world. Proof. Logic. Action.

Horned Serpent:

Theories. The world aligns with their system of thought. Why is the world this way? What if it isn’t? The horned serpent considers everything. They scrutinize and analyze. They make the world fit their mind and make their mind for the world. Oriented toward the internal world. Thinking about things for their own sake. No objective but understanding.

Pukwudgie:

Pukwudgies are what they are. They want to be themselves in all respects, extroverting themselves on the outer world. They are in tune with their own emotions and will follow their gut instincts and feelings wherever they might lead. They have a strong emotional attachment to those they value, and will stay extremely loyal to those select few. Pukwudgies are social without Boeing to society.

Thunderbird:

Change. The grand concept of the soul. The thunderbird wants change for its internal world. It wishes to be free in its thoughts and it’s desires, pretty much regardless of the outside world. The thunderbird seeks betterment for itself in subjective ways. It does not want to win, it wants to be happy.

Hogwarts/Ilvermorny Combinations

This section focuses on each individual house combination.

Pukwudgie/Hogwarts

The Hero (Gryffindor)

The Traveler (Ravenclaw)

The Loyalist (Hufflepuff)

The Charmer (Slytherin)

Gryffindor/Pukwudgie: These people are the typical thrill seeking freedom fighters of Gryffindor. The social nature of Pukwudgie combines with the glory seeking bravado of Gryffindor to make a person who sees themselves as a hero, and is eager to act accordingly. Gryffindor Pukwudgies are often more attuned to their own wants and the wants of their friends then anything grander. They prefer not to look at the big picture, and instead focus on small situations where they can apply themselves with vigor and individuality. Gryffindor and Pukwudgie are both individualistic and emotional houses, and this manifests particularly strongly in this combination. The Gryffindor is action oriented and the Pukwudgie is social, creating someone who is outspoken and willing to stick to their emotional decisions to the bitter end.

Ravenclaw/Pukwudgie: The Ravenclaw Pukwudgie is primarily concerned with the exploration of the world. The Ravenclaw is insatiably curious, and the Pukwudgie sees the world externally, without becoming preoccupied with the structure of the world or what they can and cannot do. The two houses in combination seek to fully enjoy life, seeking out new knowledge and experiences without very much of an end goal. These people seek to enjoy their life above all else, and will likely have a drive to see the world, try new and exciting things, and will not have patience for those who drag them down to a more boring world.

Hufflepuff/Pukwudgie: The Hufflepuff Pukwudgie is devoted to its friends and family. It will make sure they are happy and healthy above all else, and will define their lives by those they care about. They are more focused on themselves as individuals then the traditional Hufflepuff, who seeks to make things fair for the general world. These Hufflepuffs instead prefer to stay within the circle of those that they love and rarely stray from it. These Pukwudgies will be more selfless and able to dismiss their own emotions easier than most because of their acute awareness of the affect it has on others.

Slytherin/Pukwudgie: Slytherin Pukwudgies are naturals at making connections and thrive in the social world. Their ambition is driven from emotional need, and will often be less traditionally ambitious than the dreams of other Slytherins. They will want to succeed in a social or emotional way, more intangible than the power and wealth many Slytherins seek. They will seek prestige in their social circle, using their quick wits to charm their fellows. They are highly external people, loving the company and positivity of social gatherings and becoming highly adept at navigating such settings.

Wampus/Hogwarts

The Champion (Gryffindor)

The Trickster (Ravenclaw)

The Paragon (Hufflepuff)

The Victor (Slytherin)

Gryffindor/Wampus: Wampus Gryffindors are the most in tune with the real world of Gryffindors. They see the real world problems with constantly sticking to their morals and emotions, and will be willing to change their decisions and adapt to whatever will yield the greatest benefit. This combination is extremely action oriented, often becoming restless when there is no danger for them to face or situation to mend. These will be the most competitive of all Gryffindors, eager to jump on any casual opportunity to show others what they can do. This is the result of the glory seeking nature of Gryffindor combined with the Wampus drive to win. While this combination is highly impulsive and strong willed, it’s logical side and desire to succeed often makes it more detached than most Gryffindors until the opportunity for action arises. This combination will look for logical and analytical reasons why it won or did not win, and thus will often seem changeable, as it is reviewing new data and analyzing while it is taking action. It’s looking at the same time as it’s leaping.

Ravenclaw/Wampus: The Ravenclaw Wampus is the rarest of all sixteen combinations. Understandable as it is a paradoxical personality. Strong willed with malleable beliefs and goals, active with a tendency to hang back and consider all options, and intellectual but fierce. This combination deals in cleverness more than any other type of intellect. It prefers wit and strategy in its thoughts and conversations to a less immediately applicable, more studious knowledge. The introspective nature of Ravenclaw combines with Wampus in two principle ways, first with its competitiveness and its drive to succeed, which makes the Ravenclaw Wampus self critical and keenly aware of its own strengths and weaknesses. Secondly, the introspection combines with the strength of Wampus to create an impassive exterior. This Wampus will conceal its weaknesses behind a thick veil of intellect and prestige.

Hufflepuff/Wampus: The Hufflepuff Wampus has tangible goals that it wants to succeed in, and has a strong drive like other Wampuses, however, this will be offset by their affection for their companions and their wish for these people to succeed as much, if not more, than themself. This manifests as a person who is a strong and charismatic community leader. They will drive groups of people forward highly effectively with an infectious optimism and tireless determination. Both the Wampus and the Hufflepuff houses are hard working houses with great amounts of grit. As a result, the combination will take on massive amounts of work for greater projects with incredible drive. This is a self sacrificing combination with a strong sense of right and wrong, based primarily around justice and fairness. They will fight tirelessly to achieve this fairness in any place they can.

Slytherin/Wampus: The Slytherin and Wampus houses are defined by ambition. Slytherin values ambition deeply, and Wampus’ interaction with the world is based around fighting and winning. As a result, the Slytherin Wampus feels that it must achieve its goals at all costs, and overwhelmingly does so. This type is highly adaptable within the margins of its goals, as it sees many ways it can get what it wants, and has no issue buckling down to what work is necessary. While in true Slytherin nature, it is focused on the end goal at all times, the scrappiness and engagement with the present moment that Wampus brings leads this combination to be more playful than other Slytherins. These Slytherins are so constantly ambitious and secure in their desire that they feel comfortable dropping their seriousness whenever it appeals to them. At the same time, the Slytherin Wampus sees no point in becoming too preoccupied with the negative aspects of the here and now, and has a tendency to “wait out” annoyances, emotional problems, or pain.

Thunderbird/Hogwarts

The Revolutionary (Gryffindor)

The Philosopher (Ravenclaw)

The Optimist (Hufflepuff)

The Candidate (Slytherin)

Gryffindor/Thunderbird: Gryffindor Thunderbird has deeply internalized its moral beliefs. It is guided by its principals and ideals. The contrast in between Thunderbirds vibrant internal world and Gryffindors strong external tendencies make a combination that is powerfully focused on carrying its beliefs into the outside world. This combination makes no compromises. It is resilient against outside influence, and most powerful when faced with impossible odds. In the face of everyone telling it “no”, it plants it’s feet and screams “yes” in response. This Gryffindor is the least boastful an glory seeking of Gryffindors, as it cares very little for the the outside world. It deeply connects to those who share its beliefs however, and will stick to these long lived friendships through any situation, no matter how thick or thin.

Ravenclaw/Thunderbird: The Ravenclaw Thunderbird seeks enlightenment. Regardless of its religious views or what words they might use to describe what they seek, the Ravenclaw Thunderbird wishes to reach a state of complete happiness and knowledge. Both Ravenclaw and Thunderbird constantly seek out something, deep in their core. The Ravenclaw seeks many new ideas, whereas the Thunderbird seeks a single great ideal. In combination, these houses search for all ways they might achieve their final ideal (note: not their final GOAL, the ideal is generally something unattainable. The Ravenclaw Thunderbird considers it nobler to strive for the impossible.) This house will be as curious as the traditional Ravenclaw, but it’s deep held beliefs as a Thunderbird will lead it to dismiss more information than its more trusting and open minded fellows. Ultimately, their greatest priority is enlightenment and whatever else they may have chosen as a panultimate ideal.

Hufflepuff/Thunderbird: The Hufflepuff Thunderbird is probably the greatest source of Hufflepuff’s reputation of being offbeat. The Thunderbird devotion to its internal world mixes with the upbeat attitude of Hufflepuff to create a person who is extremely amiable and easygoing without feeling the need to fit in or act in a way they feel uncomfortable with. This Hufflepuff is more secure in their identity than other Hufflepuffs, and this Thunderbird is more secure in their present situation than other Thunderbirds. This makes a sweet spot of contentment where the Hufflepuff Thunderbird makes it’s home.

Slytherin/Thunderbird: Of the Slytherins, this combination is the deepest emotionally. It does not find the same advantage of repressing its emotions that the other houses do. Instead, this house propels itself through its ambitions with a deep emotional drive to thrive I whatever environment it is put in. The forceful confidence of Slytherin gives this Thunderbird a tendency to hurl themselves into happiness and freedom, acting however they might please. This gives them a forceful and individualistic charisma, but makes them enemies as they can come off as a bull in a china shop when surrounded by weaker personalities. This Slytherin plans ahead less than other Slytherins. It has it’s eventual goals in mind, but it trusts in its ability to improvise with all the cunning and determination it possesses once it comes into contact with an actual impediment.

Horned Serpent/Hogwarts

The Advocate (Gryffindor)

The Visionary (Ravenclaw)

The Psychologist (Hufflepuff)

The Architect (Slytherin)

Gryffindor/Horned Serpent: The Gryffindor Horned Serpent is the fiercest of the Horned Serpents and the most conservative and cautious of the Gryffindors. They have strong held ideas that they reenforce with a powerful will and as much mental energy as they can muster. However, these Gryffindors are aware of the consequences to their actions, and will act in a more refined way, only breaking rules or taking direct action when they see it as good to do so. They will not, however, hesitate to challenge any idea put forward, examining it from both moral and logical standpoints. This combination has a highly tuned moral framework that builds itself on sequences of logic in order to determine what is right. These Horned Serpents are less interested in discovery, experimentation, and hypothesizing than most of their brethren. The Gryffindor in them prefers to take what is established knowledge so that they can act in the moment and will not have to shift their belief system, which is dependent on information. This combination will project themselves as the most prominent mind in the room. They often do not project the pure and quiet intelligence of Ravenclaw combinations or the calculated charisma of Slytherin, but the use of Gryffindor’s indomitable will and Horned Serpents uncontainable mind forces the attention of those nearby. People are drawn to this combination, and it uses this ability to advocate its ideas.

Ravenclaw/Horned Serpent: This combinations mind is completely active. It thinks constantly, developing and discarding ideas and theories at a consummate rate. The quick mindedness of the Ravenclaw allows it to see multiple ideas and possible ways to see a situation at once. At the same time, the Horned Serpent focuses these many ideas, narrowing down those that are illogical and discardable. This combination is fully involved with its mind. Its intelligence propels it in everything it does, shaping its values, shifting its actions. What the Ravenclaw Horned Serpent does will always be to the benefit of knowledge and its own understanding. It will seek the analysis and dissection of the entire world, magnifying every notion as far as it reasonably can. This combination balances a scale in its own mind. On one hand, it enjoys the pure information of chaos, but on the other, the rationality of both houses wants stability. The Ravenclaw Horned Serpent makes its compromise through observation. It will sit still and accumulate knowledge until it sees there is something to be gained for their mind if they move. They will then throw themselves headlong into whatever pursuit they have deemed smart.

Hufflepuff/Horned Serpent: The Hufflepuff Horned Serpent seeks to understand people. It will study someone in all their intricacies, looking to their likes, dislikes, beliefs, motives, and everything else try can glean. This combination loves people as truly as most Hufflepuffs do, but is truly fascinated by them as a Horned Serpent. Hufflepuff’s patience combines with the theories of Horned Serpent to form principles over time. This combination will slowly accumulate similar ideas, slowly turn them over, combine them where they can be combined, and eventually form well fleshed out principles that it can share compassionately with those in need. This combination values wisdom above all else. It wishes to guide others in a subjective manner. Helping them with their minds and their ideas. The strong inclination to fairness that Hufflepuff brings overpowers the wish for personal understanding that Horned Serpent holds dearly. This combination will, as a result, share what it knows indiscriminately. It wishes the world to be better mentally and to be supplied with guiding wisdom that will keep it safe.

Slytherin/Horned Serpent: The Slytherin Horned Serpent wants to build. While it is receptive to the many ideas of the world, it prefers its own. It will be strongly oriented towards order, categories, and rules. These are where the Slytherin ambition and the structured minds of the Horned Serpents thrive. Within this structure, it will create more and more structure, expanding it and pushing the boundaries of the previous rules, before forming new rules and guidelines in a more refined manner. This combination is proud, trusting its own intellect and intuition above all else. Its logic being that they are tried and true indicators. This makes the Slytherin Horned Serpent stubborn minded until failure. At the point of failure, this combination will see no problem admitting that they were wrong and pursuing an entirely different approach. The ambition of Slytherin drives it forward towards a goal or a principle to understand, while the Horned Serpent studies and searches for the best way to achieve such an end.

6 years ago

Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.

Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?

And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run

But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually

Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.

Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!

7 years ago
Peter You Cannot Do Stuff Like That, Your “father” Has A Heart Problem, You Could Kill Him.
Peter You Cannot Do Stuff Like That, Your “father” Has A Heart Problem, You Could Kill Him.

Peter you cannot do stuff like that, your “father” has a heart problem, you could kill him.

6 years ago

The worst trick a childhood anxiety disorder pulls is, you spend your early years being applauded for being so much more mature than your peers, because you aren’t disruptive, you don’t want any kind of attention, you don’t express yourself, you keep yourself to yourself - this makes you a pleasure to have in class, etc etc - and you start to believe it’s virtue. But you’re actually way behind your peers in normal social development, and who knows if you can ever catch up.

6 years ago

Me: so what’s romantic love feel like?

Someone: you just know

Me:

image
6 years ago
Original Text Post By @heelys-ben-hargreeves

Original text post by @heelys-ben-hargreeves

7 years ago

INFJs and Relationships

INFJs: Some of the most interesting people, but few know this IRL because we are rarely given a chance to shine.

While we do have feelings for you, we experience great difficulty expressing it.

Subtlety is a double-edged sword. We’re usually too subtle, but when we get the amount of subtlety just right, you’d better watch out.

Yes, us INFJ guys do want to kick the living crap out of that jock that hit on you as if you were in the business of negotiable affection. But do we? No, because we’re afraid of making a scene and potentially coming off weird to you if you don’t know us yet.

We look for depth. Diving into a shallow pool never ends well, does it?

A little reciprocation would be lovely. We’re already hard on ourselves and we need to be reminded that we’re good enough. Maybe a few random acts of kindness?

Maybe we should actually introduce ourselves to you.

Lots of daydreams.

If we get a picture together, you bet we’ll look at it every day when we feel sad to help cheer us up.

“Umm… This may sound strange, but I like you.” debates adding “a lot” to the end of the sentence, but waits too long trying to figure out if that’d sound TOO weird / oh god i’m gonna die someone please help

We care about you. A lot. So much, in fact, that when you’re sad all we want to do is cuddle you until you feel better.

We have been known to buy you puppies, just because.

5 years ago
I Get A Lot Of DMs Asking Me “How Do I Know If I Have ADHD?” And The Short And Boring Answer Is “you

I get a lot of DMs asking me “How do I know if I have ADHD?” and the short and boring answer is “you can’t unless you talk to a doctor”.

But I want to share what I think should have been obvious clues to me!

I think it’s hard to judge your own symptoms if all you’ve known your entire life was ADHD. I was convinced I had no problems and just had to stop being lazy and all my problems would go away.

So, to everyone asking themselves “what if I’m just lazy?”, I hope you can find the courage from this to seek a diagnosis! And if you can’t:

Your struggles are legit and real, if they have a name or not.

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Isfj~ Asexual~ Hufflepuff

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