Your Pleasure In Existence Matters. You Deserve Little Comforts That Make The Mundane Pleasurable. Play

new crush desblocked: George Mackay

Does anyone else feel lonesome?

Not lonely. Not alone. Just... lonesome. Like you don't feel connected to anyone. Like you never feel that you will find anyone that understands you, that will see you truly, let alone someone who will even like you. You see friends everywhere, but you don't see yourself in their place, like that is not for you, like you're not made for that and that's not made for you. You see people having fun and laughing and dancing and getting drunk and falling in love and you just... don't feel that for yourself. Like you're not supposed to have that, like you can't because it's not for you and you're not for it.

Like you're supposed to be seeing all these beautiful things in the world but not experience them yourself. Like you want to experience so much, experience everything, but be overwhelmed by it so you don't do any of it.

Like you want to be everywhere and do everything, but you don't belong anywhere and can't do anything. Like you're not supposed to be here. Not in a self-deprecating way but in an incongruous way. You want to live you want to be alive, but you feel you're not supposed to be. Not here at least, not like this. Just a presence in the world, not an active member of it. Even your body doesn't feel like home, your face isn't a face you recognise, like you're not supposed to have either. Like you're just supposed to be.

Like you're supposed to observe, but not experience.

I often think about how Hannibal tricked people into cannibalism. it’s really easy to right this off as Hannibal just being sick and twisted, a psychopath, but its clearly something much deeper than that to Hannibal. Not only because he’s lonely and wants someone to understand him, enjoy this with him, but to console himself. He was forced to eat his own sister whom he loved and he enjoyed it. Every time he watches someone else enjoy it he feels righteous, he feels normal.

He does it to prove to himself he’s not a monster. Anyone else would feel the same in his situation. So he forces people over, and over, and over, to the same conclusion.

To comfort the sad little boy inside filled with doubt.

for gods sake i just want to take a nap

Want to rule the world together, my love?

I sometimes love her and I sometimes hate her. Am I a bad daughter? Or is she a bad mom? Or are we just people?

how can i make him worse?

people sometimes forget I'm a teenage girl who wants to do tenenage girl stuff

can’t stop thinking about that shot where everyone in the room is kneeling and princess irulan, paul, and chani are the only ones standing. paul’s back to chani signifying his betrayal while princess irulan and chani are eye to eye - both heartbroken over what the man between them has done. my chest hurts that was so beautifully executed