The Sound Of Being Loved

The Sound of Being Loved

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Possibly OOC. I'm posting this at like 12am and I am so tired sleepy but I needed to finish this Or Else

Warnings: some hurt/comfort, talk about The Scar™️

Word Count: 737

Masterlist

AO3

Astarion let out a stiff breath as your fingers brushed over the scar. The poem. The sigil. Whatever it was Cazador'd carved into his back.

You'd asked him about it before. He'd answer curtly and bitterly - as he’d always done when his master was the subject of conversation. But that was so long ago now. At least, it felt quite long ago. He couldn't really be sure. All he knew was things were finally dying down and becoming normal. As normal as things could be, anyway. And you couldn't stop yourself from asking again.

That's how you ended up straddling his thighs as he laid chest-down on the bed.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," you reminded him softly. You kept repeating the phrase when he tensed beneath your fingers, or got that quiet, distant aura about him.

He hummed, turning his head to peek over his shoulder at you. He offered the most reassuring smile he could muster. "Go on," he encouraged. "He's dead - it doesn't matter anymore."

You tilted your head. Sharp eyes studied him, searching for any hint of a lie. He sighed quietly as your hand massaged the back of his neck. "But it still happened," you said, "you still hate it."

He smirked, but his quiet voice gave away the false confidence. "You know me too well, darling."

"Yes," you leaned down to kiss his cheek, "I do." He turned his head slightly more to catch your lips for a momentary kiss. Your lips hovered over his, eyes boring into his soul, searching. "I can stop."

"No. Please. I... I want you to know every part of me. I trust you."

You kissed him once more, languid and sweet, before sitting back up. He closed his eyes and tried to relax under your fingers. They danced across his back, tracing each line in their circular pattern. One hand slid to his waist to thumb circles into his side. He wondered why for a moment. Surely it would be easier to feel each infernal letter with both hands? Then he realized: it was a distraction. You were giving him something to focus on while you studied his back. His undead heart stuttered in his chest.

“I could translate it,” you whisper. It’s a gentle offer. “If you wanted to know what it says.”

Cazador is dead, he reminds himself. Whatever the bastard carved into his skin, it shouldn’t hold so much power over him anymore. But the thought of knowing exactly what was written there… His lips pursed.

You pressed a kiss to his spine, in between the circles of text. He lets out a breath. “No. Let it die with him.”

You’re quiet as you go back to tracing. He wonders if you’re translating it in your mind. He… doesn’t mind the thought - not as much as he thought he would. He trusts you, enough to know you would take the words to your grave. They would never be used against him, held over him as leverage. They’d just sit in a corner of your mind and collect dust, until their meaning is lost forever. He doesn’t mind that at all.

Once you’ve felt all of the letters, your hand traces the circles themselves. Starting right at the center, you go out ring by ring. Where scarred lines branch off, you ghost your touch up and down the ridges. There are several at the bottom of the scar. It almost looks like dripping wax, sealed into his skin forever. Imagining what it was like hurts too much.

He peeks over his shoulder again as he feels your hands, full, flat-palmed on his skin, sliding over his sides. You lay on top of him, sliding your arms around him, squished between his stomach and the bed. You’re so warm. Your head rests between his shoulder blades, breaths sliding across his back and shoulders like a warm summer breeze. His body fully relaxed into the affection. All tension faded away, and he allowed his eyes to close in the comfort.

“I love you,” you hum near his ear. “My beautiful star.”

Astarion smiles. “I love you, too. My dearest blood donor.” He relishes in the way you laugh against him, full and bright and free. And he hopes, when he’s lived for centuries more, and loses the spark of life in his eye, he remembers exactly how it sounds to be loved.

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6 years ago

RFA + V + Saeran Crying

wrote this cause crying is honestly how I’ve been dealing with things lately and I just want these boys to cry. I didn’t do Jaehee cause I just wasn’t feeling it  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yoosung:

he used to not want to cry, thinking it wasn’t manly and that no one would take him seriously if he did

but over the years, he’s learned to accept his feelings and to let himself cry it out every once in a while, knowing that it’s not good for him to hold these emotions back

and it always seems to be rooted with his stress

he gets so frustrated with himself and how much he’ll pile it on by either not doing what he’s supposed to or doing too much of it

it gets to a point where he’ll get home and lean against the door he just got through with tears already staining his cheeks

he’ll start sobbing louder and louder with each overwhelming thought

he even gets a little mad as he cries, wondering why it seemed like the world was against him when he’s only trying his best

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but if he has someone that he absolutely trusts and can be comfortable around, he’d prefer to vent to them and have a shoulder to cry on

Zen:

he’s cried more than he’d likes to admit

it’s not something he’s necessarily embarrassed about, he just doesn’t like acknowledging it

especially with how it comes from his insecurities 

he portrays himself as this confident being and doesn’t want to feel like a hypocrite

but there are days where he just doesn’t feel as great as he usually thinks he is, and he is so worried that others will see that too

and it’s not like he doesn’t like the body he’s in, it’s more of whether he feels like a good enough person to be in it

wonders what he did to deserve it when he doesn’t find himself at all appealing beyond his looks

and the more he thinks about this, the more the tears build up

until he’s silently sobbing to himself, tears almost pouring out 

and once he’s done, he’ll feel much better

even finding some beauty in his post-crying face

Jumin:

it’s a little harder for him to get to the point of crying because he has a handle on his emotions like no other

but that doesn’t mean he’s above letting his feelings flow in such a way

and it usually happens when he feels overwhelmed

when it seems like he has such high expectations on him, ones that even he feels he can’t meet

when he truly feels like he’ll let the people around him down

this isn’t a common occurrence, but it does happen

and it usually happens when he gets home late at night, after a few glasses of wine when he’s alone with his thoughts and most vulnerable

tears will start to pool before he’s even realized they’re there, and once one falls then the rest are to follow

he’ll run his fingers through his hair, trying to contain his sobs, but after a minute, he decides to let them out

and sometimes, it’ll seem over too soon

but other times, he’ll feel like he’s been crying for hours

and he’ll usually feel better after the latter, as if he had a proper outlet for his frustrations

Saeyoung:

it happens a lot more often than he’d expect

usually when it feels like there’s a lull in his life, when things have slowed down enough for him to process it

and it’s because he gets left alone with his thoughts for a bit and they’re not always positive

he’ll look back at the things he’s done and what he’s put everyone around him through

and he’ll feel guilty about it

he’ll start thinking about what he could have done differently

when the tears start to well up, he gets even more upset about it, wondering why he’s the one crying 

that he doesn’t deserve to be upset at himself and that everyone else should be

and he will pile so much guilt on him, to the point where he doesn’t even feel like he deserves the love and understanding that’s been given to him

and that’s when the tears seem to be coming in a continual flow, he’s either choking back sobs as he aggressively wipes them away

or they just flow, his face almost seeming numb and void of expression 

once he’s done crying, he’ll usually feel better

but it helps if he feels validated, as if he has someone to sort these feelings out with

V:

he really does try to be strong for the rest of the RFA, someone they can all lean on when they need to

so he never openly talks about his struggles or his thoughts

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he’ll collapse back onto his bed, couch, some sort of surface and without even noticing, tears will already be running down his face

there’s no real sound to it either, just silent tears pouring as he’s left alone with his thoughts

and it only seems to continue the more he thinks 

it’ll wander to how he feels at fault for his mistakes, that he didn’t deserve to have so much trust placed on him in the first place

he never really shakes the thoughts after he’s done crying, but he’ll at least feel a little stronger after pouring his emotions out to even just himself

Saeran:

for him, it builds

it starts with one negative thought until that’s all he has on his mind

it always seems to revolve around his past too

when he thinks about what he’s been through, he always wonders how he got passed that

and whether he even should have

and the more and more he’s left alone with his thoughts, the worse the breaking point is going to be

and once he does, it’s gradual

starting with a few tears until it gets up to him practically wailing, openly weeping as he clenches his fists

he gets angrier the longer he cries, wondering how he could be so weak

but once he’s done, it’s almost a complete drop from angrily crying to just feeling nothing

and after a bit, he’ll feel much better, glad to have had that moment of vulnerability 

able to push aside these thoughts to become a better person, especially if he has someone he wants to be a better person for

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Sleepy Cuddles

Masterlist

Type: fluff

Requested by: @tripthlightfantastic

Request: i’d die for eddie cuddling reader when they can’t sleep (i have the worst insomnia lol)

A/N: Thank you for requesting! (It takes me ages to fall asleep as well lol so I know the feeling.) I actually really enjoyed writing this, it was really cute. It did end up being shorter than I thought it would be, but I hope you enjoy! If you do, keep in mind that my requests are open!

Warnings: none

Word Count: 436

»»————- ♡ ————-««

With a sigh, you turned over for what felt like the hundredth time since you’d laid down a few hours prior. As an insomniac, the experience wasn’t exactly uncommon - just incredibly unwelcome. You turned your head, checking the clock which read 3:26 in big bright red letters. Huffing out another exasperated breath, you turned again, this time facing the other figure in the bed, who, unlike yourself, had fallen asleep hours ago.

For as long as you’d been staying over at his trailer, Eddie had never had any trouble falling asleep quickly. He knew about your sleeping problems, sure, and he always vowed to stay up and try to help you fall asleep to no avail. But sometimes, like tonight, you’d see him stir in his sleep from one too many movements on your behalf. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a couple times before noticing your soft e/c eyes watching him.

“Can’t sleep?” He murmured softly, sleep still lacing his voice as he tried desperately to wake himself up a bit more for your sake. You nodded, knowing you didn’t have to explain yourself. He just understood. Without a word, he lifted his arm towards you, gesturing for you to come closer. You flipped yourself around and shifted closer, your back pressed against his chest, letting him be the big spoon tonight. He let his arm drop once you were situated, resting it across your waist and letting his other arm snake around your chest, pulling you closely against him. You felt him bury his face in your hair, his light breaths tickling the back of your neck and making you giggle, which in turn, made a lazy smile grace his lips.

You were so grateful for Eddie. You both knew the only way you could get to sleep at this point was if you were in his arms, and him being the fidgety person he was, he never stayed in one position very long whilst sleeping. However, for you, he was willing to lay in the same way for hours just to let you get a little bit of sleep.

You heard him yawn from behind you, and you knew he was barely keeping his eyes open, but he was trying for you. As your eyes finally began to droop, you felt him place a gentle kiss to the back of your neck, followed by a barely audible “I love you.” “Mmm, love you too,” you whispered back, nestling your body back into his and finally allowing yourself to drift off into a peaceful slumber with the love of your life beside you.


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aerixae - Jackie
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