Older GO Asks (and Answers!) From Neil Gaiman’s Inbox

Give me coffee or give me death

Why I believe the coffee is important…but not because it’s been tampered with. The coffee represents exactly how Metatron manipulated Aziraphale to return to heaven.

Let’s take a look back at that painful final episode.

In Nina’s coffee shop, the Metatron makes an interesting remark: “Do people ever ask for death? The name of your establishment is Give me Coffee or Give me Death. I assume they always ask for coffee.” And when Nina replies that they never ask for death, he says “No I don’t suppose they do. So predictable.”

This is an interesting line! And in my experience, interesting lines don’t show up for no reason. My takeaway from this is that it means when given the choice between a mildly pleasant thing (coffee) and an extremely unpleasant one (death), the predictable choice most people will make is to pick coffee. Here’s where things get interesting. The Metatron proceeds to apply this exact logic on Aziraphale.

Let’s fast forward just a little bit, to Aziraphale’s retelling of his talk with the Metatron. After being offered the position of supreme archangel, Aziraphale initially refuses! He says “but I don’t want to go back to heaven. Where would I get my coffee?” In other words, Aziraphle likes earth and is happy here amongst his people and things. To this, the Metatron responds: “As supreme archangel, you would be able to decide who to work with…” and says that he was looking back at his precious exploits and saw his “de facto partnership with the demon Crowley.” And continues “Now if you wanted to work with him again, that might be considered irregular. But it would certainly be within your jurisdiction to restore your friend Crowley to full angelic status.” On my first watching, I didn’t catch the threat — but it absolutely was one! Because here, the Metatron has asked Aziraphale to choose between coffee and death. He’ll have to return to heaven, BUT he’ll be able to be with Crowley! The alternative is the threat of never being able to work with Crowley again. And just as the Metatron has predicted, Aziraphle chooses coffee. Because to Aziraphale, the alternative would be inconceivable.

Could Aziraphle and Crowley have communicated better? Yes. Should Aziraphale probably have explained the bit about the Metatron threatening to keep them from working together. YEP. But as Maggie and Nina said, communication is something for them to work on (next season, ideally).

So I decided to make a prompt list (either fic or art) for December for the Ineffable Husbands.  I tried to think of as many winter/holiday things as possible.  Obviously Dec isn’t for a few more weeks but please reblog/retweet/post on insta to spread it (please don’t alter it or remove my name).  I’d love to see people take part.  Use hashtag #IneffableHoliday for it please!

Demon Aziraphale #goodomensfanart #goodomens #aziraphalegoodomens #aziraphale https://www.instagram.com/p/CcQzDBDqwXG/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Roman warrior Aziraphale

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DTYS time!! If you don’t know what a DTYS challenge is, it means Draw This in Your Style! But you can join with fics and cosplays too! The deadline is December 31st and the winner will get a free art commission!

No rules except for having fun, that’s what DTYS are for! You can change whatever you want, just free your imagination! Remember to tag me so I can share your works on my socials, and use the #alicerovaidtys hashtag! ✨

Aziraphale’s wine

It is a truth universally acknowledged in the Good Omens fandom that an angel in need of a drink turns to his secret stash of Châteauneuf-du-Pape in the back room. He picked up a dozen cases in 1921, and a whole century later there's still some left… for special occasions.

Just to put things in perspective, a standard case contains 12 750ml bottles, for a total of 9 liters of wine. A dozen cases equals 144 bottles, or 108 liters of wine. That’s quite a lot for a single purchase, so Aziraphale — the established sherry and sweet drinks connoisseur — must have had a good reason for it.

One potential explanation is the aura of grandeur around this particular wine. The papal connection, rich history of the region, and recognition of high quality products give Châteauneuf-du-Pape wines a very luxurious status, considerably influencing their price tags. And Aziraphale is known to have standards.

Another one is the way in which their taste differs from Aziraphale’s usual choices: Châteauneuf-du-Pape reds are often described as earthy with gamey flavors that have hints of tar and leather. The wines are considered tough and tannic in their youth, but maintain their rich spiciness as they age.

Since everything in Good Omens has a meaning, it never hurts to run through a quick Strong’s Concordance search whenever a date pops up in a dialogue or, even more importantly, somewhere on screen. More often than not the result seems to match the researched topic, as it’s the case here:

1921: to know exactly, to recognize.

Provided examples: I come to know by directing my attention to him or it, I perceive, discern, recognize; I found out. The general usage of the word usually refers to knowing someone aptly, properly, thoroughly, even biblically. Which might be either a wishful thinking on Aziraphale’s part or just another layer of subtext in this already romantically charged scene. The table dressing, multiple candles, and focus on the lamps with Auguste Moreau’s Young Lovers statues in the background seem to successfully communicate what the angel left unsaid.

Too bad that Crowley remained so adorably oblivious for the next eighty years. At least when he finally came to the realization, he responded with an attempted temptation to another vintage red wine @vidavalor already analyzed.

But back to Aziraphale’s wine. To be exact, it’s a 1921 Châteauneuf-du-Pape from the domaine de Baban. An actual French vineyard from the Rhône region that still exists to this day, even though a few decades ago it got merged with another estate into what is now known as domaine Riché-Baban. According to the local guides, the 11 hectares on the estate are located in the Châteauneuf-du-Pape designation area in the Bois Lauzon and Mourre de Baud districts. At the moment 90% of the wines produced there are sent to wine dealers.

1920s were quite an interesting time for this region, but not because of the flapper cabarets or drag shows usually associated with the era on the Old Continent. To the horror of European oenophiles, right after World War I the whole of France found itself awash with fake wine. One of the worst outrages was the use of lead that magically transformed cheap, acid wine into something deceptively rich and sweet on the outside and one of the most powerful neurotoxins on the inside. People were already well aware of its effects — the poisoning from drinking sweetened wine probably made Handel go blind and Beethoven go deaf, but it shows how desperate for sweetness they were before sugar became available to the masses.

Admittably, it wasn’t a new practice. Far from it — the Romans liked it so much that they even advised to pack lead pans on travels to boil local wine in them to make it sweeter, especially in colder provinces like Britannia. But Aziraphale didn’t buy twelve cases of counterfeit wine for the sake of some good memories of Rome and its many health hazards. No, the fussy angel made sure to get the actually good stuff from the other side of the English Channel.

Henry Tacussel, whose name is mentioned on his wine label, was a French viticulturalist and a close friend of Baron Pierre Le Roy of the Chateau Fortia nearby, a trained lawyer and fellow winegrower from Châteauneuf-du-Pape who established the Winegrowers' Union of the Rhône Valley. Together with the Baron he became one of the founders of Appellation d'origine contrôlée (AOC), a labeling system intended to protect regional products and technologies that is still in use in France and serves as an inspiration to similar solutions worldwide. Their efforts were deliberately centred on Châteauneuf-du-Pape because with such a beguiling name even in comparison to other labels it seemed to attract an undue share of fraudsters at the time.

Soon after Aziraphale’s shopping spree, the local wine producers led by Le Roy and Tacussel began a very long campaign to establish legal protection for the wine from their commune. The delimited area and the method of wine production were finally awarded legal recognition after a decade, in 1933, but it wasn’t the end of the criminal activities on this front. An undercover investigation by The Sunday Times discovered that most of the “Châteauneuf” in the 1960s Britain was actually blended and bottled in Ipswich.

One question remains: was it a purely human affair, or maybe one requiring a demonic or angelic intervention?

Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics

Medicine

A Study In Physical Injury

Comas

Medical Facts And Tips For Your Writing Needs

Broken Bones

Burns

Unconsciousness & Head Trauma

Blood Loss

Stab Wounds

Pain & Shock

All About Mechanical Injuries (Injuries Caused By Violence)

Writing Specific Characters

Portraying a kleptomaniac.

Playing a character with cancer.

How to portray a power driven character.

Playing the manipulative character.

Portraying a character with borderline personality disorder.

Playing a character with Orthorexia Nervosa.

Writing a character who lost someone important.

Playing the bullies.

Portraying the drug dealer.

Playing a rebellious character.

How to portray a sociopath.

How to write characters with PTSD.

Playing characters with memory loss.

Playing a pyromaniac.

How to write a mute character.

How to write a character with an OCD.

How to play a stoner.

Playing a character with an eating disorder.

Portraying a character who is anti-social.

Portraying a character who is depressed.

How to portray someone with dyslexia.

How to portray a character with bipolar disorder.

Portraying a character with severe depression.

How to play a serial killer.

Writing insane characters.

Playing a character under the influence of marijuana.

Tips on writing a drug addict.

How to write a character with HPD.

Writing a character with Nymphomania.

Writing a character with schizophrenia.

Writing a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Writing a character with depression.

Writing a character who suffers from night terrors.

Writing a character with paranoid personality disorder.

How to play a victim of rape.

How to play a mentally ill/insane character.

Writing a character who self-harms.

Writing a character who is high on amphetamines.

How to play the stalker.

How to portray a character high on cocaine.

Playing a character with ADHD.

How to play a sexual assault victim.

Writing a compulsive gambler.

Playing a character who is faking a disorder.

Playing a prisoner.

Portraying an emotionally detached character.

How to play a character with social anxiety.

Portraying a character who is high.

Portraying characters who have secrets.

Portraying a recovering alcoholic.

Portraying a sex addict.

How to play someone creepy.

Portraying sexually/emotionally abused characters.

Playing a character under the influence of drugs.

Playing a character who struggles with Bulimia.

Illegal Activity

Examining Mob Mentality

How Street Gangs Work

Domestic Abuse

Torture

Assault

Murder

Terrorism

Internet Fraud

Cyberwarfare

Computer Viruses

Corporate Crime

Political Corruption

Drug Trafficking

Human Trafficking

Sex Trafficking

Illegal Immigration

Contemporary Slavery 

Black Market Prices & Profits

AK-47 prices on the black market

Bribes

Computer Hackers and Online Fraud

Contract Killing

Exotic Animals

Fake Diplomas

Fake ID Cards, Passports and Other Identity Documents

Human Smuggling Fees

Human Traffickers Prices

Kidney and Organ Trafficking Prices

Prostitution Prices

Cocaine Prices

Ecstasy Pills Prices

Heroin Prices

Marijuana Prices

Meth Prices

Earnings From Illegal Jobs

Countries In Order Of Largest To Smallest Risk

Forensics

arson

Asphyxia

Blood Analysis

Book Review

Cause & Manner of Death

Chemistry/Physics

Computers/Cell Phones/Electronics

Cool & Odd-Mostly Odd

Corpse Identification

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crime lab

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Misc

Multiple Murderers

On This Day

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Q&A

serial killers

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Time of Death

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My view on God mode Aziraphale in “Offerings” a strange AU with mer-people

You can find it here : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24356293/chapters/58734520 Special note for the beautiful artworks as a cover of each chapter (it’s what make me want to draw this^^) PLEASE READ THE TAGS before reading

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Wake up, Good Omens fandom! We're doing something special!

Ineffable May 10

May 10 is both what is often cited as the date the book published (in 1990) and it's the day St Dunstan in the East Church (Neil's inspiration for the scene) would've matched up with the episode 3 Blitz scene (1941).

Bring on your fan works set between '41 and '90!

New or already shared fan works alike, they cover nearly 50 years of Crowley and Aziraphale knowing the other would absolutely, without a doubt save them. That's 50 years of "you can't deny this feeling".

40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. There's so much you can do with those eras, for Aziraphale and Crowley, other angels and demons, and even many of the humans! Especially in bookverse.

Or do something AU and toss canon to the wind!

(I personally love that 1967, another Hard Times cold open scene year, is when London decided to turn the remains of the Blitz scene church INTO A GARDEN. Crowley definitely had something to do with that.)

You can use the tag for any Good Omens celebrations you have on May 10 but especially for showing those fan works set between 1941 (the Blitz scene!) and 1990 (when the book came out!)

AND HEY!

ANY HELP getting the word out is super. I am but a small fan with an even smaller reach. I want anyone who wants to participate to have a chance to hear about it! Thanks SO SO MUCH!

And speaking of thanks: THANK YOU @flantasticclaude for your enthusiasm for this sudden fandom event, and stepping in to make the above wonderful, rainbow-filled graphic to get the word out.🌈😇😈

Let's all have an amazing fandom celebration on May 10!

Rare Omens - Prompt Event (Feb 2021)

Many of my GO friends ship A/C (…I don’t think any of my fan friends don’t….?) but also many of us ship two characters (or more) who aren’t exactly the go-to with fan creation. This is for them!

Running the month of February 2021. Fill as many or as few of these prompts as you like. Fan fic, art, cosplay, whatever makes you happy! You’re welcome to create sweet fluff or friendship dynamic for any pairing!

**Everyone needs to be adults if there’s smut involved.**

Don’t like a pair? Show a friendship rather than relationship OR JUST SKIP IT. There’s no need to dump on someone’s enjoyment. DO NOT say “I don’t like this pair” or “I don’t usually like this pair BUT…” Trust us, we know. It’s probably rare for a reason. Anyone who starts trouble, don’t hesitate to block or mute them.

Tag on twitter #RareOmens.

Ao3 Collection: Rare_Omens

Details also at the collection profile here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Rare_Omens/profile