Afallenvenusian - A Fallen Venusian

May 8, 2025

Thanks to the Motrin cocktail required to sleep through my cramps last night, yesterday feels like a hazy blur.

I sent the link for my new (private) Substack to four friends. Each was excited to see me writing again, but will they read it? Time will tell. Either way, putting work into the world felt good.

Caught a lecture about the origins of my local art museum last night. As I'm prone to do, I had a friendly chat with a stranger at the bar while I waited for the lecture to begin. Coincidentally, she works in an industry adjacent to my own. We had a few common acquaintances. We also shared deep pride in our city as a cultural hub (Top 10 art museum, Top 8 orchestra, second (or third) largest theater district in the nation — put some respect on our name) and perfect food city. #ClevelandRocks.

The lecture was interesting and informative. A perfectly fine way to spend an evening. By the time I got home, PMS fatigue had your girl down bad. I ended the night with repeat watchings of Lewis Hamilton and Charles Leclerc doing a logistics-themed escape challenge and if I thought they couldn't get hotter, I was wrong. Fine ass race car drivers doing math and problem-solving...

Good lord.

My boss is back from out of town today, ending my emotional reprieve (last week was a week — I needed space). I'm soaking up the silence until he arrives.

Until next time.

Branzino x asparagus x turmeric basmati rice

"Heaven must be like this..."

May 10, 2025

Being quite rational and into metaphysics means someone always takes it too far. I can do Human Design right up until they start talking about "The New Paradigm" and I have to check out. My favorite YouTube tarot reader is so on point (she called what I'm experiencing right now with Mars in Leo – the drive to be out and seen again) and is an anarchist.

(It's always funny how these "radicals" are people of privilege who won't feel the real consequences of their predictions. Meanwhile, my black ass – a daughter of addicts who fought tooth and nail for the structure and stability they all deride – has a real life and a 70 year old mother about to retire who may or may not have access to social security or health care but please. Continue to regale us about how "failing institutions are actually good for us").

Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. The problem is they nail the personal shit so I can't quit them. Just take what works, leave the rest, and trust myself to handle whatever fuckery the world throws my way.

But the being lit up again? That shit is real. I can't stay inside or off the phone. I'm thinking at the speed of the light, craving movement and stimulation. What I thought was living was only resting and preparation for my next era. The Back Outside, Doing, and Making Era. The Go Time, Ready or Not Era.

It's wild, heady shit.