Afallenvenusian - A Fallen Venusian

May 9, 2025

I'm easily inspired. I'm learning to accept it.

I spent most of 1992 wanting to be Catwoman after seeing Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns (look it up kids). My notebooks from the 2000s echoed the metaphors and similes I absorbed via Big, Jay, Nas, and the like. I spent three days with my sister-in-law last year and heard her Southeastern Ohio/West Virginia twang in my voice the week after.

I don't even do it on purpose. I have a clear sense of self and yet, at the big age of 41, I'm as impressionable as I was in 1992. 'Tis what it is.

Why did I feel the need to say that?

Oh. Because thanks to Human Design, I see that's just how I am. I can fight it or I can learn to ride the waves that flow out of me without shame.

The latter sounds more fun.

That's a lot of preamble, but I needed to clear my throat for what I really want to do today: dispense some age-old wisdom like the elder millennial auntie I am.

(incoming....)

May 6, 2025

The last two days? Much better.

Figured out how to start a private Substack that requires subscription approvals (score one for utilizing the benefits of that platform without its non-sense). Made sure I got in my requisite movement yesterday (a 30 minute walk). Politely told the friend who flaked on hanging out over the weekend not to ask me anywhere else unless she plans to actually show up.

Re: the Substack. I popped open a blank page and the words showed up. Liked I turned on a fucking faucet. It was incredible. Shout out to Neptune in Aries opposite my Mercury. I told a friend it feels like my mind is drowning in fire.

And so's my body. Spent an extra few minutes in bed this morning for some self-care, because shit. I felt good. Took longer than usual to put on my clothes because I couldn't stop looking at myself. I graduated college 19 years ago today. This is the finest I've ever felt.

Apparently, I just needed some movement.

Know Your "No."

Being an Old on Tumblr, I'm often down the rabbit hole of youthful angst and despair, especially from young women who don't know who/how to be in the world and are looking for answers in moodboards, trends, and memes. And listen — that doesn't end. It's why we have mid-life crises.

It's better to figure out your "no."

You gotta know your line. Your absolutely the fuck not.

Here's why...

Sometimes that "no" is hiding under a "yes." It's the guy who A1 d*ck who talks to you like shit. The high-paying job/competitive college program that stresses you the fuck out. The "Baddie" aesthetic that includes shoes you can't fucking walk in. You get what you want but because you didn't define what you didn't want, you're telling yourself this is fine.

When you start with Absolutely the fuck not, you free yourself up for exploration.

You put less pressure on yourself to have all the answers because as long as you don't see the Absolutely the fuck not, you can be guided by curiosity.

"Huh. What's over there? Let's try that on and see what happens."

No matter what your fave influencer says, you learn about life by living. You make a choice, it goes well, you learn what you like. You make a choice, it doesn't go well, you learn what you don't like. Rinse and repeat. This, and only this, is how you "figure it out." By doing.

When you pinpoint your Absolutely the fuck not, you trust that anything — no matter how good it looks on the outside — that requires you to do what you absolutely do not want to do is not for you.

Everything else? Fair game.