This One Made Me Laugh, My Sister Is Something Of A Grammar Fiend!

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call me ignorant but i genuinely don’t understand why sports have to be split up by gender.

That look of 'not this again'🤣

[image description: an image depicting an dark-haired woman with a peeved expression on her face, wearing black and gray. end description]

Probably a face Kei makes a lot during crossovers, not gonna lie. It’s very much embodying the “oh, not this shit again” vibe.

Here’s the link to the picrew.

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This really is my thought process!

So today I want to talk about puberty blockers for transgender kids, because despite being cisgender, this is a subject I’m actually well-versed in. Specifically, I want to talk about how far backwards things have gone.

This story starts almost 20 years ago, and it’s kind of long, but I think it’s important to give you the full history. At the time, I was working as an administrative assistant for a pediatric endocrinologist in a red state. Not a deep deep red state like Alabama, we had a little bit of a purple trend, but still very much red. (I don’t want to say the state at the risk of doxxing myself.) And I took a phone call from a woman who said, “My son is transgender. Does your doctor do hormone therapy?”

I said, “Good question! Let me find out.”

I went into the back and found the doctor playing Solitaire on his computer and said, “Do you do hormone therapy for transgender kids?” It had literally never come up before. He had opened his practice there in the early 2000s. This was roughly 2006, and the first time someone asked. Without looking up from his game of Solitaire, the doctor said, “I’ve never done it before, but I know how it works, so sure.”

I got back on the phone and told the mom, who was overjoyed, and scheduled an appointment for her son. He was the first transgender child we treated with puberty blockers. But not, by far, the first child we treated with puberty blockers, period. Because puberty blockers are used very commonly for children with precocious puberty (early-onset puberty). I would say about twenty percent of the kids our doctor treated were for precocious puberty and were on puberty blockers. They have been well studied and are widely used, safe, and effective.

Well. It turned out, the doctor I worked for was the only doctor in the state who was willing to do this. And word spread pretty fast in the tight-knit community of ‘parents of transgender children in a red state’. We started seeing more kids. A better drug came out. We saw some kids who were at the age where they were past puberty, and prescribed them estrogen or testosterone. Our doctor became, I’m fairly sure, a small folk hero to this community. 

Insurance coverage was a struggle. I remember copying articles and pages out of the Endocrine Society Manual to submit with prior authorization requests for the medications. Insurance coverage was a struggle for a lot of what we did, though. Growth hormone for kids with severe idiopathic short stature. Insulin pumps, which weren’t as common at the time, and then continuous glucose monitoring, when that came out. Insurance struggles were just part and parcel of the job.

I remember vividly when CVS Caremark, a pharmaceutical management company, changed their criteria and included gender dysphoria as a covered diagnosis for puberty blockers. I thought they had put the option on the questionnaire to trigger an automatic denial. But no - it triggered an approval. Medicaid started to cover it. I got so good at getting approvals with my by then tidy packet of articles and documentation that I actually had people in other states calling me to see what I was submitting (the pharmaceutical rep gave them my number because they wanted more people on their drug, which, shady, but sure. He did ask me if it was okay first).

And here’s the key point of this story:

At no point, during any of this, did it ever even occur to any of us that we might have to worry about whether or not what we were doing was legal.

It just never even came up. It was the medically recommended treatment so we did it. And seeing what’s happening in the UK and certain states in America is both terrifying and genuinely shocking to me, as someone who did this for almost fifteen years, without ever even wondering about the legality of it.

The doctor retired some years ago, at which point there were two other doctors in the state who were willing to prescribe the medications for transgender kids. I truly think that he would still be working if nobody else had been willing to take those kids on as patients. He was, by the way, a white cisgender heterosexual Boomer. I remember when he was introduced to the concept of ‘genderfluid’ because one of our patients on HRT wanted to go off. He said ‘that’s so interesting!’ and immediately went to Google to learn more about it. 

I watched these kids transform. I saw them come into the office the first time, sometimes anxious and uncertain, sometimes sullen and angry. I saw them come in the subsequent times, once they were on hormone therapy, how they gradually became happy and confident in themselves. I saw the smiles on their faces when I gave them a gender marker letter for the DMV. I heard them cheer when I called to tell them I’d gotten HRT approved by insurance and we were calling in a prescription. It was honestly amazing and I will always consider the work I did in that red state with those kids to be something I am incredibly proud of. I was honored to be a part of it.

When I see all this transgender backlash, it’s horrifying, because it was well on the way to become standard and accepted treatment. Insurances started to cover it. Other doctors were learning to prescribe it. And now … it’s fucking illegal? Like what the actual fuck. We have gone so far backwards that it makes me want to cry. I don’t know how to stop this slide. But I wrote this so people would understand exactly how steep the slide is.

I'll be the first one to say that my dad likely didn't know what to do with us, but I'll be the first one to say that he tried. We had a little hallway around the stairs and a little ledge thing along the stairs and that's where we went for timeout. He managed to be a good example for not only me but also my anger-issues older brother and my manic-depressive bi-polar older sister.

A lot of people around me are having kids and every day it becomes more apparent that hitting your children to punish them is insane because literally everything can be a horrible punishment in their eyes if you frame it as such.

Like, one family makes their toddler sit on the stairs for three minutes when he hits his brother or whatever. The stairs are well lit and he can see his family the whole time, he’s just not allowed to get up and leave the stairs or the timer starts over. He fucking hates it just because it’s framed as a punishment.

Another family use a baseball cap. It’s just a plain blue cap with nothing on it. When their toddler needs discipline he gets a timeout on a chair and has to put the cap on. When they’re out and about he just has to wear the cap but it gets the same reaction. Nobody around them can tell he’s being punished because it’s in no way an embarrassing cap, but HE knows and just the threat of having to wear it is enough.

And there isn’t the same contempt afterwards I’ve seen with kids whose parents hit them. One time the kid swung a stick at my dog, his mother immediately made him sit on the stairs, he screamed but stayed put, then he came over to my dog and gently said “Sorry Ellie” and went back to playing like nothing happened, but this time without swinging sticks at the nearby animals.

YES, ALL THE YES!!!

Say it with me, kids, "I do not deserve this pain. I am in chronic pain due to forces outside of my control. I should not have to earn pain relief. I am good. I do not deserve to be shamed for my pain. It is not my fault."

!!¡!!

Vil is one of the most well-written characters in Twisted Wonderland and I’m still baffled that people still manage to misinterpret him when nothing about him is that difficult to understand.

People always bash him for his obsession with beauty and reduce it to vanity when it was explained time and time again that Vil cares as much about internal beauty as external beauty. His search for growth was never centred around aesthetics only.

It’s also further explained that his pursuit of beauty is the path he believes would help him reach his goal of staying the longest on stage/being the hero. Vil’s book is about an actor who has been told ever since he was a child that he was meant to be the villain. Which was a role he didn’t wish to entertain so he worked his hardest to be worthy of the role he wanted, the role that would allow him to stay the longest on stage.

He learned all sorts of skills, pursued his studies, took care of his appearance, he did anything and everything in the name of improving himself, to be worthy of a role that keeps being denied to him and given to someone else, Neige. Then when he finally reached his limit after years of trying his hardest just to keep failing he lost it.

Even then why did he overblot? Because he couldn’t forgive himself. Because he couldn’t accept that he had become the villain, the exact thing that he had spent all his time and effort rejecting. Vil is terrified of being ugly inside and outside. He is terrified of being corrupted. He’s terrified of being bad.

People also love to bash him for being strict but he is one of the most caring housewarden. He does rule with an iron fist but even at his worst his motivation is always in his students’ best interest. Even Epel has to concede once he understands Vil’s true goal. On top of that Vil actually shows that he takes accountability for his actions, he knows how to apologise and he feels remorse for his wrongdoings.

Let’s not even talk about how he sacrificed himself for Idia and the world’s sake later on. As if this wouldn’t fully compromise his future.

This is telling my brain what my body already knew!! ‘staying up late’ and ‘sleeping in’!!!

its really weird to see all these articles about how people who have ADHD have sleeping problems but the issue I have is that if you look at it as a matter of your circadian rythym being out of sync? of COURSE you’re not going to be able to sleep. we don’t say people who can’t fall asleep at 4 pm and sleep 8 hours have insomnia, because that’s not a normally agreed upon time to sleep and its not your bodies time to sleep. if you tell someone to go to bed at 10 and they can’t sleep till 3 am sometimes in just not insomnia. people with ADHD are often wired to sleep from 4 am to 12 pm ish because of the delayed onset of melatonin but if you let us go to bed at the time we need? most of us actually sleep pretty well and consistently.

First, all of this, but second, it's okay if you only had the spoons to do the basics and nothing else too!💜