Alexia • 18 • she/her • A pile of bi chaos • I have no idea what I'm doing • Obsessed with L&Co, Spn and Music
67 posts
Messing around with a new art program, I liked how this turned out
So if you look in that mirror really REALLY REALLY EXTREMELY closely you’ll see me crying
hii first of all luv the username cause as a libra rising, samedt ;-; i'd like to make a request for a luke x f!reader fic pls!! um, so they're best friends, and luke decides to confess to r by giving her gifts, letters, trinkets, etc. with hints about his identity, but she doesn't know who they're from. so she asks for luke's help to find out about the identity of her secret admirer. but what if there's like a mistaken identity and she thinks it's someone from the hermes cabin (maybe chris? or one of the stoll brothers idk) and luke's just all pouty but nonchalant or something, but deep down he's like 'how do i even make her see' or something (while also second guessing that maybe he shouldn't confess it's him) like fluff with tiny angst :>
Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: You got a secret admirer and recruited Luke to help you find out who they are...ignoring the most obvious option (Fluff, angst, best friends to lovers, happy ending)
Note: I'm so sorry for the six month hiatus. It wasn't by choice, I swear 😭. So many bad things kept happening that prevented me from writing (is this the writers curse people kept talking about?). Also, the request wanted only a sprinkle of angst, but I kinda got out of hand with it I think 😭 (sorry).
Word count: 4.4k (whoops)
You’ve always thought that too much of something is bad. Yet, ever since the day your life intertwined with Luke Castellan’s, you weren’t very sure about that anymore.
The two of you arrived at camp around the same time, entering a friendship that felt like hitting the jackpot. Your early days together were something that you both treasured dearly. Every time you thought a certain time period would someday be reminisced as the golden days of your friendships, new things would come, and top it off.
However, golden skies were soon evaded by clouds of pink hues. You found yourself noticing and appreciating small details you haven’t noticed before about your best friend. Initially, you acknowledged the growing feeling but decided that they better remain as footnotes in chapters of your life. However, fate’s design was different to your plans, because two years later, here you were: you looked at him almost in the same way a fool would look at the world with rose-colored glasses (but then again, maybe it was because you have learned to embrace and adore his flaws).
“Luke!”
The Hermes cabin counselor snapped his head towards the sound of your voice, eyes straying from his duty of the hour. A smile began forming on his face as you came to view, almost like he has always been programmed to do so. There was a certain spring in your steps. Moments like these made Luke feel like he was a minimalist because your happiness was somehow enough to guarantee his own.
You situated yourself next to Luke on the ground, not minding the dirt.
“Hey now, I’m meant to be watching these kids train, don’t come over and distract me,” the Hermes cabin counselor warned, though he didn’t move his eyes away from you. He simply couldn’t.
Everything about you served as a distraction to him. From the soft smirk gracing your lips to the innocent tilting of your head. Every little detail about you was captivating and was equally capable of drawing his attention away from wherever it was meant to be.
In fact, his attention issue around you was getting rather shameless because his friends have begun picking up on it and started teasing him for it. Personally, Luke doesn’t think it was his fault. His eyes just happen to draw to you in every room like second nature, while his mind short-circuited every time you were near.
Maybe, and just maybe being rational and able to function properly has stopped being his forte…at least whenever you were around.
Your eyes moved to the group of kids that were only going to be at camp for the summer. From the looks of it, Luke has just assigned them to practice sword fighting in pairs. You then glanced back at your best friend, discreetly drinking in the sight of him.
No doubt he did his fair share of demonstration before letting these kids go off on their own, because right now, his face was slightly flushed, veins evident on his forearm while the familiar orange shirt clung onto his body with glistening sweat.
You shook away the non-platonic thoughts and teased him, “Oh, come on, you wouldn’t pass up on talking to me. You adore me too much.”
Damn right, he does. Luke could feel his cheeks heat up again.
“Fine. What are you here for, firecracker?”
“I got another gift,” you informed, presenting the bracelet in your hand.
For the past month, you have been receiving small letters and gifts. This time it was a handmade bracelet with beads of your favorite colors, as well as charms that represented some of your hobbies and favorite things. It was clear that your anonymous admirer had put a lot of thought into such a small item. However, as always, there were no identities attached to it, leaving you clueless about the person behind these gestures.
Luke took your hand in his, eying the accessory that perfectly fitted your wrist. He started toying with the beads around your wrist that were shining in your favorite color.
The boy’s gaze flicked from the object to you, catching your soft and warm look. Gods, if you kept looking at him like that, he might just actually stop thinking logically. He could practically feel a confession lingering behind his lips, threatening to spew the second his ropes of restraint died.
“Anyway, I came here with an idea,” you broke the silence. “What if I try to find out who this person is? I mean, some of these gifts are quite specific. They seem to know my favorite color, flowers, and things I like. Surely, it wouldn’t be that hard to narrow it down and figure it out?”
Something shifted in your best friend’s behavior and you could feel it. There was a slight flustering look on Luke’s face as he avoided eye contact with you. It was rather strange to see the Hermes cabin counselor so fidgety. Luke has always been confident and composed, and you’d often be the one to humble down his playful cocky remarks. Half-way through looking at his behavior, you began speaking:
“You…”
Luke could feel the blood draining from his face at your facial expression, his face paling despite how flushed he was seconds ago from demonstrating sword fighting. The boy tried to regain his composure, though his attempt at seeming nonchalant failed as you touched his arm. Did you—
“You can be my inside man, talk to these guys to see if they’d slip up or something like that.”
“I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Luke hastily replied, clearing his throat.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did that come across as a suggestion? I hate to break it to you but being best friends means you sorta have to participate in my schemes,” your lips curled as Luke grunted at your words.
“Yeah, but—”
“Luke, please…it’ll be fun,” he almost scoffed at your words and unconvincing argument. Clearly, the two of you had different definitions of fun. Just as he opened his mouth to reject your idea again, his eyes caught yours. You were looking at him in such an eager and heart-warming gaze that it made him forget what he was intending to say.
Ah, there was no denying anymore. Being rational and able to function properly has truly stopped being his forte.
“Fine,” Luke uttered, the word pricking his tongue as regret started kicking in as he accepted being your accomplice. This decision could only come back to bite him in the ass. He watched as you quickly celebrated his lack of restraint.
“Ah, you gave in quite quickly,” you jabbed.
“Shut up.”
Oh, you were going to be the death of him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two days have passed since you got Luke to agree to help you find your secret admirer. Though, the boy must say, the last forty eight hours have been slightly comedic for him, watching you trying to track down your secret admirer…
While the real sender of those gifts was right beside you, nodding along to your every word.
Luke’s mind trailed to the origin of this “secret admirer” idea. He started it as a way to abate the urge of straight-up blurting out how love-struck he was with his own best friend, while also testing out the waters before finally confessing his feelings for you.
Though it was slightly amusing how the idea led him to where he was right at that moment. The Hermes cabin counselor zoned out as he pretended to speak to another boy you thought was behind those sweet gifts and letters.
Luke used to have those feelings under rein, but self-repression only caused it to grow exponentially. Initially, the Hermes cabin counselor dismissed those beyond friendly thoughts, thinking they would eventually fizzle away. However, against his predictions, this fondness towards you became a sort of companion to him for three long years.
Not only that, years of excessively burying these feelings six feet underground also came back to bite him in the ass because instead of having his feelings under control, they now have the upper hand.
Sometimes he felt like a puppet, while his feelings plucked the strings. His facial expressions were forever cursed to be sculpted in raw yearning whenever around you, having no choice over how he reacts to everything related to you.
But it didn’t matter, because he was going to finally confess soon.
Luke almost burst out laughing at the way you were standing in anticipation, waiting for his intel on the most recent candidate. It was entertaining, to say the least, pretending to engage in investigative conversation before heading back to you, shaking his head in feigned disappointment.
However, it didn’t take long before the Hermes cabin counselor started feeling sour.
Just as he made it back to your side, he watched as you started talking again, already discussing the next guy you thought might have done these things that Luke himself came up with. He eyed your in sync footsteps with a heavy heart. Despite the matching movement, he somehow still felt eternally behind. Luke was so close, yet so far away, and never quite able to grasp onto your ever moving attention.
Did you not consider him as an option at all? Did you truly not see him as anything other than a good friend? It started stinging him knowing you were considering all these other guys as potential candidates — the faces that now haunt him in his sleep, poisoning his mind with an acidic jealousy that was eating away his common senses and fueling immoral thoughts.
Soon enough, that same jealousy seared his mind with this overwhelming self-doubt. Luke’s foot started feeling cold at the thought of confessing. Gods, he never thought the same security behind anonymity would now make him feel desperate to be seen by you.
“Maybe I should give up,” you concluded, mindlessly staring ahead. Your attention elsewhere gave Clarisse and Chris an opportunity to send each other knowing looks. The two have been watching you run around in circles on a goose hunt, not knowing to look right behind at the sulking figure that was trailing after you.
Your distracted state also meant you didn’t notice the moping human situated beside you. However, hearing your declaration of ending your chase, Luke saw a window of opportunity. Maybe now was finally the time to be truthful. After all, if he doesn’t tell you, then how will you know and see him? Luke’s momentary motivation carried him through waves of dejection.
“Y/N, I need to tell you something,” Luke blurted out without much more thought or preparation, and his tone made you fully turn to him. Just as words finally formed and the boy opened his mouth to tell you—
“Hey Y/N, can I talk to you privately?” Somebody interrupted. Your eyes didn’t leave Luke immediately, but when you saw your best friend’s momentum had faltered, you turned to the stranger. It was another Hermes boy, somebody who you’ve seen around. You politely agreed and left with him.
“So, I heard you’ve been looking for the person who’s been giving you anonymous gifts. And well, it’s your lucky day, 'cause…” the boy stared you up and down while you subconsciously took a small step back when he leaned forward. “...I’ve decided to come forward and reveal myself.”
“Okay…well, prove it” you squinted. Though your skepticism didn’t make the Hermes boy in front of you falter. Clearly, he expected this.
“The first thing you were given was a note, and…the two most recent gifts were a cassette tape and a bracelet — which was made from beads of your favorite color and charms like…” you zoned out as the boy started listing out some of your favorite activities that were indeed the charms on your bracelet. You fiddled with the bracelet that you had purposefully hidden out of his view right behind your back.
There was a pinch in your heart that signaled the last bit of hope dying.
Oh…so Luke really wasn’t your secret admirer.
You internally scoffed at yourself. You should have known right after he said yes to helping you out with finding your secret admirer — which was originally an idea used as bait to determine if Luke was the sender or not, because if it was really him then he wouldn’t have agreed to help you out with this. However, not only did your best friend agree without much convincing from you, but he had seemed so nonchalant and unaffected as you named all these boys you wanted him to talk to.
Perhaps this secret admirer thing was something good. Somebody has shown interest and their actions have been nothing but sweet. Those letters contained words that were eternally bound to your memories, even altering the way you view yourself for the better. Maybe you could get to know this person and move on from hopelessly crushing on your best friend.
Halfway through, you realize you were so engulfed in your thoughts that you have zoned out to half of the things the Hermes boy was saying, and merely caught onto the last bit of his speech:
“...thinking maybe we could go on a date and get to know each other more tonight?”
Your stomach churned again, yet you nodded your head.
Move on. Move on. Move on. Move on.
Your friends gave you questioning looks when you got back to where they were, clearly curious about what you were pulled away for.
“So…that was my secret admirer, and I’m going on a date with him tonight,” you hoped you sounded more enthusiastic than you were feeling. You tried convincing yourself at least it was good knowing definitely how your best friend actually felt about you. Quickly sitting down, you kept your eyes on Clarisse, knowing if you even looked over at Luke, he’d be able to tell straight away that something was wrong.
Your lack of focus also meant you didn’t think much of the quiet murmur from your best friend: “Sorry, I just remember I need to do something.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time. It was now the afternoon and you just finished getting ready for your date. As you were leaving, you spotted a note at the foot of your cabin. Seeing your name written on the paper, you picked it up while eying it peculiarly.
“You could be the one that I love,
I could be the one that you dream of,
Message in a bottle is all I can do,
Standing here hoping it gets to you.”
Your gut feeling stirred, hitting you with waves of higher certainty over suspicions you have previously had and denied.
Those lyrics were directly associated with a memory from summer two years ago.
Luke and you were sitting by the campfire when he asked what your favorite song was. You told him the name and mentioned you hadn’t listened to it in a while because using technology devices with signals were dangerous for Demigods. The conversation slipped your mind but clearly loitered in your best friend’s mind, because two months later while on your way back to camp from your quest together, he gifted you a tape player along with a cassette of said song along with others that you liked.
You blinked away the image of you leaning on Luke’s shoulder while the two of you listened to the song together on the train back to camp.
You re-read the note again while shaking your head. Perhaps it was a coincidence. Perhaps, that Hermes boy knew the song and it was also one of his favorites. Perhaps—
Your hand started trembling around the paper. Your eyes landed on one small detail in the note: a particular handwriting choice. The rest of it matched with previous notes, but there was one singular scribbling feature you’ve never seen used before.
Everything came crashing down and your internal eternal cycle of excuses and denial shattered.
You ran. It didn’t matter that it was raining and your attire was getting soaked. It didn’t matter at all because you were frustrated and confused. In other instances, you would have been elated at the possibility of mutual affection, but in that moment, exasperation blinded you from sensibility.
If what you have concluded was true, then why on Earth would he allow you to go on a date with a person who stole credit for things they didn’t do? This whole time, he made you feel like a fool — for waiting that long and having hope after all that time; for asking the person you were looking for to hunt them down with you; for sulking despite having what you thought was a good opportunity to come along; for borderline going on a date with an imposter; and for not seeing it all along that it was him.
“It’s you, isn’t it?” you called out.
Despite the rain, you could see your best friend’s figure stiffened before turning around to face you. The boy stood with his hands behind his back, not yet daring to look at you.
“The “th”. You connected the cross in the ‘t’ directly to the ‘h’,” you presented the note in your hand, pointing specifically at the slip up that Luke had made in the latest note, not caring of the raindrops that were hitting the paper. “It’s how I write it, and you started writing it the same way a year after we got to know each other because you liked the way it looked,” you pressed further.
The expression on Luke’s face painted your theory into the truth of the situation. You felt your hand slightly shaking at the revelation.
“Why? You left anonymous gifts and notes and watched me put on this hunt — which by the way, was for you. And didn’t even say anything when a guy lied and said he was my secret admirer? Is this one big cruel prank?”
“No—”
“Oh! Well then, surely at one point in this whole thing, you felt like you should just tell me?”
“I was going to.”
“Then where were you when I was just about to head out with that fraud? Maybe if you really liked me and really cared for me, like all those damn notes say, you would have fought for m—”
“I did,” Luke finally raised his voice, his face briefly hardened in an attempt to convey his desperation. His chest heaved, and the way it did almost made you think the anger radiating off every inch of his skin right then was directed towards you. But it wasn’t, and he knew you knew.
“I confronted him right after he claimed that he was the one who gave you all those things.”
Invisible ivies rooted your foot to the ground. You gulped, trying to digest the information you were given. However, it finally sunk in when Luke’s hands appeared from behind his back. It was then that you could see the bandage wrapped around his knuckles. Your breath hiccuped in both flattery and worry at the implication of what he had done. The darkness behind those deep hazel-brown orbs reflected a certain side of your best friend that you hadn’t seen before. Although, part of you felt like you wouldn’t mind it.
It made Luke’s blood boil knowing what he dedicated to you from the bottom of his heart was spoiled by ill intentions. Luke should have known better than to carelessly write all the letters and craft those gifts right on his bunk bed, rather than discreetly.
Once again, the Hermes cabin counselor was pulled back to memories from an hour ago. The way the other boy shot remarks at Luke’s lack of precautions, boasting his wrong-doings like someone incapable of having a guilty conscience. Luke's jaw tightened as the image of the sly smirk on the other Hermes boy's face flashed in his mind, but a wave of satisfaction ran through him as he recalled how quickly that smirk was wiped away by his own fist.
They might be brothers by a fraction, but blood or not, that boy was dead to Luke the second he tried tricking you.
“And no, I wouldn’t have let you go out with a fraudster. Never,” Luke’s eyes softened. “And in case it’s not implied enough: I like you…a lot. I was going to confess but then this guy came along lying,” Luke could feel that tremor returning once more to his fist. He hated that something he built, from scratch, on the foundation of sincerity was momentarily tainted by the hands of a spineless liar. Not only that, he hated witnessing somebody so dear to him getting deceived in such a tasteless manner.
“I also…didn’t want to get hurt. It was starting to seem like you would ever consider me as more than just a friend with the way you were listing out all these other guys. So for a bit there I was considering just keeping quiet…forever” he confessed, eyes now straying away from you and down to his shoes.
You observed your best friend through a new perspective. So your initial suspicions were true. You had thought it was him because all the things you have received hinted to somebody who knew you so well, and who else at camp but Luke knew this many things about you. But ultimately, another part of you — the proclaimed “logical” side — has hyper-analyzed every split second you two have shared and deemed that Luke has not given any true signs of interest in you beyond as a friend. Thus, you dismissed the thought of Luke being your secret admirer.
You know now to trust your gut feelings more.
“Oh, Luke Castellan, you dumb ass…” you spoke softly underneath your breath, but you knew he heard you perfectly clearly from the way he slightly peered up. Your heart almost shattered at the dejected look on your best friend’s face and the thought of him burying his feelings eternally. You sure as hell would not allow that to be this timeline.
“I’ve liked you ever since the day you went out of your way and gave me that first cassette tape,” the marveled look on Luke’s face over your confession made you continue, “I guess I should have known it was you…cause gift giving has always been your love language.” It seemed like the boy was too stunned and struck frozen. However, his shell-shock state didn’t last long, because soon, your best friend’s gaze reverted back to the way he has always looked at you, only slightly more intense.
Your eyes fluttered at the sight of Luke Castellan in front of you at that moment. You were finally able to see the effect you’ve always had on him. The way his lips hung slightly agape, eyes dilated in such a way you were no longer able to see their usual color anymore, chest slightly heaving despite lack of physical reasons for such a reaction. You almost wanted to hit yourself for being such a fool and not spotting these details sooner.
“Now, Castellan…you have two options,” you stepped closer to him, leaving an appropriate amount of personal space in between. “You either kiss me or—”
Luke grabbed your wrist with his uninjured hand and pulled you in. The same hand-guided your arms around his neck while also effectively eliminating the remaining distance between you two.
Without hesitation, he kissed you.
Likewise, you returned the action without a second thought. You frankly didn’t care about the rain that was soaking the both of you. Kissing Luke felt like such a natural act that it felt simply like diving home. The way he held you made you feel like you were a national treasure he was so afraid of losing. Gods, you don’t think you mind doing this ever so often.
Though, there was a certain urgency in the way Luke kissed you, as if afraid you’d either vanish or you’d change your mind. You pressed your lips harder against his, hoping he’d understand you didn’t intend on leaving or having a change of heart.
A grunt escaped his throat as you kissed him harder. Oh, Luke Castellan already knew he was in immense trouble. He knew almost immediately that the concerning number of thoughts he had about you each day would only increase tenfold from this day on. He wondered if you could taste all of his unspoken words. If kissing you felt like this, he might as well sign away his heart, body, and mind to you. In fact, he’d sign anything you put in front of him without even considering the fine prints.
Luke slowly backed you against a tree, giving you a bit of support to lean against whilst shielding the both of you from the heavy rain. He smiled into the kiss as you hummed at his action, feeling it echo against his lips. His heart tugged, almost leaping out of his chest when your hands made their way to both sides of his face, cupping it intently like holding something yours. Yours. Fuck, he loved the sound of that.
You were the first to break the kiss. The both of you gasped for air while maintaining eye contact. The close-up view of his intense gaze drove your cheeks rosy. You could not help but admire the way his locks of wet curly hair clung onto his forehead, while raindrops fell from his face, some following the length of his eyelashes before falling — Oh, the way he glanced down at your lips at that second made you feel almost like you had the power to convince him into anything at the moment.
“You’re my best friend…” he broke the silence.
“Mhm.”
“...but what if I want you to be more than that?”
“I can be both,” Luke’s lips broke out into a smile, and you mirrored his facial expression. He leaned his forehead against yours whilst softly rubbing his thumb soothingly against your waist.
“I’m not against that.”
As a larger grin broke out on your lips, Luke’s eyes further softened. He realized right there and then that anything you wanted, he would not be against it. A breath of relief quietly escaped beneath Luke’s breath. He could not wait for whatever was in store for the both of you in the future.
Good thing his messages in a bottle did get to you.
-------------------------
masterlist
join my Luke Castellan taglist (or to remove yourself from)
probably not realistic at all, also keep in mind i’m really bad at writing.
-he’d DEFO have a little section for your books in his library
-i feel like he’d love jam but have the strongest hate for marmalade to the point he’d comically smash jars of it whenever he sees it
-he’s memorised how you like your tea but always has to ask how you like it
-he’s the type of guy to ask ‘you eating that?’ after he’s already taken the food off your plate
-talks about kipps way too much to the point you and lucy have made an inside joke about them being gay
-he tells a bad lockwood one liner and he feels so chuffed about himself until he looks over at you and the others cheesing at his words
-the type to secretly shazam songs at the function after saying shit like ‘the music here is terrible’
-hasn’t drank water in 3years
sometimes i think about
[x]
Yet another thing I find absolutely wonderful about how Jonathan Stroud wrote Lucy Carlyle is how he betrays her with the narrative.
In The Screaming Staircase, at the start of her story, Lucy gives us an idea of how she wants to be perceived; unaffected, unbothered, unburdened by fear or particularly revelatory emotions. She drops horrifically painful realities about her childhood on us as if she were describing a dull gray rock she found on the ground. She tries very, very hard to school her emotions around Lockwood and George. And if she had been written by anyone else, she might have fallen prey to the "strong independent female character" tar pit of a stereotype.
But then along comes Annabel Ward's ghost.
And the narrative looks at Lucy and says "I know how you wish to present yourself, but that's not who you are."
And Lucy is repeatedly shown to be incredibly Sensitive in so many ways. She is under the influence of the ghost of Annie Ward, but the emotions are still partly Lucy's. And most of the time she has the emotional intelligence to differentiate which feelings are hers and which ones are Annie's, and where they overlap. She chokes up with empathy on multiple occasions in the process of uncovering what happened to Annie Ward. She becomes enflamed with the desire for justice for someone who was murdered decades before she was born. She's shown that by her very nature, her emotions are her strength and not her weakness. Because she has a narrative that loves her and isn't lazy about her. She is the narrator and she tells us who she is, but the narrative shows her and us who she really is.
Its been too long since I've properly campaigned for Mona's initiatives on my main blog! Since the last update we have a wide array of projects your donations have contributed to!
She has distributed essential hygiene kits including pads for women!
And a lot lot lot of food package distributions as you can see below!
Please do not hesitate to donate! Every single dollar helps!! P*ypal.
G*f*ndme for distribution of necessities.
G*f*ndme to help Mona and her family.
Instagram to track progress + above links.
(If you live in India or Pakistan and want to donate, contact her through the means listed on her account).
i need luke thoughts…… im having luke/charlie bushnell brain rot…….
ok omg hi i just saw this & i’m in the mood for it SOOOO…. first thought that came to mind is luke is DEF the kind of bf to let you colour his tattoos 😫 he’d also 100% have your initial or name or smth tattooed somewhere on him…. probs was his first one too actually! i imagine it to be on his chest right above his heart and whenever u get jealous or upset or smth he just takes your hand and guides it to where the tattoo is and says smth like “no one else lives here but you” HOW COULD ANYONE BE MAD AT THAT???? 😣 luke is also a very good cook/baker except he specializes in breakfast foods specifically cause if one kid in the hermes cabin woke up earlier than usual they’d wake up all the others (i feel like anyone who’s lived in that cabin turns into a light sleeper out of fear LMAO 😭) n then they’d all wanna eat breakfast so luke would sneak into the kitchen n make pancakes n wtv 😇 (soz if chb doesn’t have a kitchen my pjo has been RUSTY LMAO) he doesn’t seem like the type to be this good at making food tho so you’re a little skeptical at first but he eventually convinces you to try one bite andddd let’s just say you will never be visiting a restaurant ever again 😁 also he & jason r part of the ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! club 😫 his arms r acc his fave feature and he LOVESSS when you’re walking together and you have your arms wrapped around his 😣 he always teases you about it too but then HE gets all upset if you separate yourself from him while you’re walking 🙁
35 Portland Row crew I drew with my newly bought markers! Feeling rather proud of this, probably best traditional art from me in ever
Realizing that Lockwood was protecting Lucy the whole time by taking all the fame and attention onto his shoulders. He wasn’t the one who should’ve been praised, it was Lucy. He was just a screen that was pulled down to protect her and her gift.
First time trying digital art, and it's Lockwood and Co!
Digital lineart done by @jewishicequeen
clicky noises amv, in case it gets taken down off twitter too
Someone had to do this :D
Series: Lockwood & Co, source: Brooklyn 9-9
Word Count: 1,398 Pairing: Dean x Reader Summary: After being rescued from a terrifying ordeal, you struggle to come to terms with the trauma of your captivity. Trigger Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping and captivity, Panic attacks, Trauma response
Masterlist
The world felt like it had shattered into a million pieces. You were conscious, but barely. Your mind raced, heart pounded, and all you could hear was the echo of your own ragged breathing. The darkness around you was oppressive, and even though the danger had passed, you couldn’t shake the feeling of terror that gripped your entire being.
You didn’t know how long you had been in that place. Hours? Days? It was all a blur. The air was heavy with the scent of damp earth, cold and unwelcoming. The ropes that had bound your wrists left angry red marks on your skin, now freed but still tingling with the ghost of their restraint. You had been trapped, powerless, at the mercy of someone with no mercy to give. And then, just when it seemed that there was no hope, he came.
Dean Winchester.
He moved like a force of nature, tearing through your captor’s defenses with a precision and ferocity that would have terrified you under different circumstances. But now, you barely registered his presence. The moment the ropes were cut, and you were free, your body crumpled to the ground. You weren’t thinking clearly. Everything was a hazy mix of fear and confusion.
Dean’s hands were on you, gentle yet firm, guiding you to stand. He spoke to you, his voice low and steady, but the words didn’t register. You were too far gone, too lost in the echoes of your terror. Your eyes darted around the room, looking for threats that no longer existed, unable to focus on the one person who had brought you to safety.
“Y/N,” Dean’s voice was sharp, pulling at the edges of your fractured consciousness. You flinched but didn’t respond. You were hyperventilating now, your breaths coming in short, panicked gasps. The walls of the room seemed to close in on you, and you could feel your pulse throbbing in your ears. The shadow of your captor lingered in your mind, more terrifying now that you were free than when you were under his control.
Dean grabbed your shoulders, his grip grounding you even as you trembled. “Y/N, listen to me,” he said, his voice more urgent now. “You’re safe. You hear me? You’re safe. He can’t hurt you anymore.”
But it was as if you couldn’t hear him. Your mind was trapped in a loop, replaying the worst moments over and over again. The fear was paralyzing, consuming every rational thought you tried to muster. Your gaze darted to the shadows in the room, convinced you saw movement, convinced he was still there, watching, waiting.
Dean’s fingers gently gripped your chin, trying to direct your attention to him, but you kept looking away, still searching for a threat that was no longer there. His voice softened as he called your name again, “Y/N, hey, look at me. Don’t look at him, look at me.”
His words broke through the fog, but only slightly. You looked past him, still not really seeing him, eyes wide with terror. Dean’s jaw tightened with concern, his own heart aching as he saw how deeply the experience had shaken you. He didn’t know all the details, but he could see the toll it had taken.
Slowly, deliberately, he moved closer, positioning himself directly in your line of sight, blocking out everything else. “Hey, look at me,” he repeated, his tone both commanding and reassuring. His hands moved from your chin to cup your face, his thumbs brushing away tears you hadn’t even realized were falling.
You flinched slightly at the contact, but Dean didn’t let go. He kept his grip gentle, but firm enough to keep your focus. His green eyes were locked on yours, filled with an intensity that cut through the haze. “It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice low and steady. “You’re safe now. I’m here.”
You blinked, the first signs of recognition starting to filter through the panic. His presence was like a lifeline, something tangible and real to cling to in the sea of chaos inside your head. Slowly, your breathing began to slow, the frantic gasps easing into more controlled, albeit shaky, breaths.
“There you go,” Dean said softly, his thumbs continuing their soothing motions against your cheeks. “That’s it, just keep breathing with me, okay? In and out, nice and slow.”
You nodded faintly, your eyes finally locking onto his. The connection steadied you, anchoring you back to reality. Dean’s face was a mixture of concern and relief, his gaze unwavering as he guided you back from the brink.
“There you are,” he murmured, a small, reassuring smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I’ve got you, Y/N. You’re safe.”
You swallowed hard, your throat dry and tight, but you managed to speak, your voice barely above a whisper. “He… he was going to…”
Dean’s expression darkened for a moment, but he quickly pushed the anger aside, focusing on you. “But he didn’t,” he said firmly. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? Not ever.”
The conviction in his voice was comforting, and you felt a tiny bit of the weight lift from your chest. You nodded again, more assuredly this time, and Dean released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said softly, his hands still cradling your face for a moment longer before he let them fall to your sides. He stayed close, his presence solid and reassuring as he helped you to your feet. Your legs were shaky, but Dean kept a steady hand on your arm, guiding you out of the dark, oppressive space that had held you captive.
As you stepped outside, the cool night air hit your face, a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere inside. The world seemed brighter, more alive, and with Dean by your side, you felt the fear begin to ebb away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of relief.
Dean led you to the Impala, his hand never leaving yours. He opened the passenger door for you, and you slid into the familiar seat. The leather was warm, the scent of the car instantly calming your frayed nerves. Dean rounded the car quickly, getting in beside you, and for a moment, the two of you just sat there in silence.
Finally, you turned to him, your voice still shaky but filled with gratitude. “Thank you, Dean. I… I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t…”
“Don’t think about that,” Dean interrupted gently, his hand reaching out to cover yours. “You’re here, you’re safe, and that’s all that matters. We’ll deal with the rest later.”
You nodded, squeezing his hand in return, the warmth of his touch grounding you further. “I don’t know how to thank you,” you whispered.
Dean’s eyes softened, and he gave you a small, reassuring smile. “You don’t have to,” he said quietly. “Just take care of yourself, okay? That’s all I need.”
You took a deep breath, feeling the last of the fear start to melt away. Dean was right; you were safe. With him, you always would be. And as the Impala roared to life and the road stretched out before you, you knew that no matter what came next, you wouldn’t be facing it alone.
Tag List: @roseblue373 @hobby27 @jc-winchester @whump-loverz @pizzagirlxnsfwx @king-of-milf-lovers
Cas - ‘A Nephilim has come into being.’
Deans facial expression - *are we pregnant?*
Where it all began
Y/n: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
Dean: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
New to tumblr, but I want to start posting here too since LockNation is spread out across multiple platforms 🥰⚔️💚. Here’s my drawing for the summer thinking cloth!! 🪻🌿✨
Lucy, skull, and lockwood my faves!
Paring; dean x reader
Prompt; 'I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night. And now I see daylight, I only see daylight'
Requested; @jellyfishjo
Notes; requests are open again!
Masterlist | Taylor Swift masterlist
For as long as he could remember his whole life had been shrouded in darkness. From the first lick of fire which took his childhood home, Dean’s life had seemed to dull to the same colour as the ash which had covered his brother's nursery the morning after.
The last time Dean Winchester saw light was when his mother kissed him goodnight before turning back to his little brother.
In some ways, he thought it was the universe playing some sick joke. His life had gone up in flames so bright that his eyes had watered only glancing towards the house, only for the sun to come up and cast his world into a neverending darkness.
Tragedy, after tragedy, after tragedy.
That was until he met you.
The first time he’d laid eyes on you it was almost as if for the first time in his adult life the sun finally seemed to peak over the horizon. Even now, the darkness of night surrounding you both like a blanket the world seemed lighter.
“You okay?” Your voice broke through the silence, the wind blowing your hair gently as you turned to look at him from where you were sitting on the hood of his car. He hummed leaning back against the hood. “M’fine.” He said turning to face you fully.
“Really? Cause you look like you're about to give yourself an aneurysm.” You joked lightly your hand finding his on instinct. You squeezed his hand for a moment as he rolled his eyes. “That's a lotta large words sweetheart.” He mused, a playful glint in his eyes.
You raised an eyebrow gently pulling him closer, to stand in front of you. “Do you even know what an aneurysm is?”
Dean scoffed. “Course I know what it is? I did go to class…sometimes.” He smiled rubbing his free hand over your knee.
“Yeah. Sometimes.” You squeezed his hand again as he rolled his eyes, his finger jabbing into your knee for a moment.
You both fell quiet again, eyes on the sky above. The night was surprisingly clear for September, the moon cast a dim light across the field you’d both taken refuge in for the moment. The stars themselves seemed to be out in the masses, a sight which was so rare and almost jaw-droppingly beautiful.
Dean’s gaze flicks back from the sky to you, his face showing a rare moment of vulnerability as his eyes trace the shape of your face, watching the way your eyes seem to light up just slightly in the moonlight.
His thumb rubbed over the back of your hand as he cupped your cheek with the other. Your own eyes moved back to him, a small smile tugging at your lips as his thumb brushed your lips for a moment.
“I love you.”
Dean’s voice was barely a whisper as his eyes darted over your face, logging details he’d long since memorised. “I love you too.” Your voice matched his as you subconsciously leaned into his hand.
His own lips pulled into a smile as he hummed lowly. He could happily live in this bubble forever.
You, him, his car, and peace.
He knew in the morning you’d both go back to everyday life, back to the horrors which were your normal and this simplicity would fade away until you had enough time to yet again step into this small bubble.
Yet, for the first time in his life, he realised he didn't hold resentment to the idea. Hunting was okay, he was used to it. It was his normal. The darkness had become his normal, had been his normal.
Yet the darkness didn’t seem to matter anymore.
For the first time in almost 20 years, he finally saw the light again.
Going insane over these ghost hunting kids
I really want to make a really pretty oil painting of Lockwood and then do the thing where they smudge it to look all ghostly
Summary: "Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Pairings: Dean x Reader (Reader's 1st person POV)
Warnings: None. Angst. Fluff.
Word Count: 2,804
A/N: So, while watching an episode of Criminal Minds the other day, the above quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was at the opening of the episode and it just struck me as very Dean. 😢 So, I had to write him something. Hope you enjoy! ❤️
“You're still awake?”
I asked the obvious question as I walked into the kitchen to see Dean sitting at the table, slowly swirling amber liquid inside a crystal glass.
He nodded. “Yep. You too.”
“Yeah, I just came to get some water; it's so dry in this bunker, don't you think?”
Dean just grunted.
“Maybe we could add some humidifiers, or something.” I said awkwardly.
A shrug was my only answer.
Dean's rough, coldness still made me nervous around him sometimes, especially when he was in an overly grumpy or frosty mood like this. Even though we'd been working together for a year and roommates for at least half that time, I always felt like I just annoyed the hell out of him.
I decided I should just go and leave him alone with his whiskey. I poured my glass of water quickly and nodded towards him as I left.
“K, goodnight.”
“Yeah, night.”
I went back to my bedroom, just down the hall from Dean's, and sighed as I walked through the door. I really wanted things to be different. I wanted to make him like me.
Actually, what I really wanted was to make him love me.
But I'd settle for getting more than grunts and one word answers from him most of the time.
He’d always been gruff with me, never seemed to want me around. It was always Sam that let me know about hunts and invited me along. And every time I joined them, Sam had to fight his brother to let me leave the car when they got out to fight the bad guys.
He clearly thought I was a shitty hunter too.
So, he'd surprised me with how quickly he'd agreed to let me stay at the bunker when I told the boys about a demon I was dealing with that seemed particularly fixated on me. Sam convinced me it was safest there and Dean had agreed, though he was scowling the whole time. I couldn't help but think he only let me stay cause he didn't want me to die.
Not wanting me to die wasn't exactly friendship, but I supposed it was better than not caring one way or the other. So, I'd agreed to move in. The demon had been taken care of quickly with the boys help, but I stayed on.
I liked it there, and despite Dean's usual attitude towards me, I was happy in the bunker. Sam and Dean were funny and their dark, sarcastic humor, especially Dean's, often made me laugh in situations that would otherwise demand only horror.
It was also the safest I'd ever felt.
Because no matter how he felt about me, I knew beyond a doubt that Dean would always have my back and look out for me. That was just the kinda guy he was.
If only I could actually make him want me around.
An idea dawned on me as I climbed back into bed. Maybe that was why Dean wasn't warming up to me. Maybe he felt like I was overstaying my welcome there. It made sense; they'd invited me to stay while I was in danger, and then I just never left.
I was embarrassed that I hadn’t thought of it earlier. I would talk to the boys in the morning, I decided, and then fell into a restless sleep, thinking about where I'd end up when I left.
The next morning I walked into the kitchen to see Dean sitting at the table in the exact same spot as the night before, his whiskey replaced with a cup of coffee.
“Morning.” I said shyly.
“Mmm.” Dean said around his cup as he took a sip.
I started to get things together to make my breakfast, looking over my shoulder. “I'm making oatmeal, did you want some?”
Dean shook his head. “N’ah. M’good.” He mumbled in his deep, craggy voice, staring at the table.
“Okay.” I said, sighing at his usual taciturn answer.
I put the water on to boil, salting it slightly, and then turned back to him just as he stood up and walked towards me. He drained his cup along the way and then reached past me to put it in the sink.
I made the mistake of taking a deep breath as he leaned close and I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning. God, why did he always have to smell so good? Why did he have to radiate warmth from his big, broad, flannel-covered chest, so that I desperately wanted to cuddle into him.
Completely unaffected, Dean turned to leave, but I put my hand out, touching his arm to stop him from going. I could feel an almost imperceptible flinch from him and I pulled my hand back, embarrassed that he was literally recoiling from my touch.
“Sorry.” I said as my cheeks got pink. “I was wanting to talk to you and Sam. Do you know when-”
Just then we could hear the screech of the bunker door as Sam returned from his morning run.
“Perfect timing.” I said with an awkward chuckle.
I left the kitchen, glad that Dean followed so I could talk to them both at once. We met Sam at the bottom of the stairs. He pulled out his ear bud, still breathing deeply.
“Hey.” He said with a small smile. He looked back and forth between me and Dean. “What's up?”
“Oh nothing, really.” I said, waving away the conversation's importance. “I just wanted to talk to you guys. I've…well, I was thinking about it and I realized, I mean now that there's no demon tracking me, no one threatening me, I should probably move out. You know?”
Sam scowled and shook his head. “We're hunters, we're always under threat. This is still the safest place for you. Why would you leave?”
I shrugged. “Well, I mean, I've been here a long time.” Sam scoffed at that, but I continued. “And I don't wanna…you know. I just think I should get out of your hair.”
“Don't be stupid. You're not in our hair. You should stay. Right, Dean?” He asked his older brother.
I looked back at Dean and he didn't say anything for a moment, just stared at the ground. Then he shrugged and looked up. His face was the same cold, indifferent mask I'd seen him wear so many times before.
“If she wants to go, can't stop her.”
I smiled thinly, a small pinch of hurt starting in my chest.
“Yep,” I said in a cheerful tone. “Can't stop me.”
Sam started to speak, but I waved him away. “No. Seriously, I should get my own place. But I really appreciate you guys letting me crash here for so long.”
I stood on tiptoe to give Sam a kiss on the cheek and then tossed Dean a smile which was all I could manage before taking off, heading back to my bedroom so I could start looking for a new place to live.
About an hour later, as I was on my computer looking at apartments, there was a light knock on my door.
“Come in!” I called, expecting Sam's tall frame to walk through. Instead the door swung open and Dean was there.
I was shocked and I set my laptop down beside me on the bed, sitting up straight. Not once in the six months I'd lived there, had Dean knocked on my door; nor had he ever sought me out for anything.
“Hi.” I said lamely.
He nodded at me as he walked slowly into the room.
We were quiet for a moment before I cleared my throat. “Do you need something?”
Dean pushed out his lips and shoved his hands in his pockets, shrugging his broad shoulders.
“I, uh…I wanted to…Sam said that he thought you were…” He rolled up onto the balls of his feet a couple of times as he paused.
I raised a quizzical eyebrow and Dean scowled, pulling his hands out of his pockets so he could cross his arms over his chest. The flannel pulled tight across his shoulders and biceps, thoroughly distracting me.
But then he spoke roughly and brought my attention back to him.
“Sammy thinks you're just leaving cause of me, so I need you to tell him it's not true.”
I wasn't surprised that Sam had read me so well, he wasn't easily fooled and I often thought he might know about my unrequited feelings for Dean.
But I shook my head. “No, of course not. It's not you. It's just time.”
Dean nodded and looked away. “K well, tell my dipshit little brother that will you, so he gets off my back?”
He sounded angry and for some reason his anger annoyed me. I was moving out, leaving, just so that he’d be happy, and he still wasn’t.
“Sure.” I attempted a teasing tone, but it didn’t really work. “I'll get right on it. Right after I find a new place to live.”
Dean scowled at me again, but this time I scowled back.
Something seemed to occur to Dean and though his voice was rough, he sounded slightly shocked when he spoke. “You are leaving because of me. Why?”
I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they might get stuck like that. “Oh, I don't know Dean. I can't imagine why I'd think you don't want me around when you're always so warm and welcoming. Always so eager to chat and hangout. I must just be crazy!”
Dean's frown etched deeper on his brow. “So you're leaving cause I'm not acting like your bestie? I'm not friendly enough for you?”
“I’m leaving because you hate me and obviously don’t want me around!” I shouted.
Silence rang out and my embarrassment filled it. I stood up from my bed and brushed past him, calling back to him as I left.
“Look, don't worry about it. I'll tell Sam it's not your fault so he leaves you alone.”
I left quickly, but I wasn't sure where to go. I couldn't stay in my bedroom with Dean there, but I didn't want to run into Sam either. So I ended up hiding in the gym, hoping neither of them would find me there.
But that plan didn't work very well, since minutes later Dean strode through the door. I growled slightly in frustration. All I wanted was to avoid further confrontation about this.
My voice was quiet, trying to discourage any more conversation. “Look, let's just leave it alone, okay? It's fine.”
“No it's not.” Dean responded.
I let out a little huff. “I’ll be gone in a few days, and everything can just go back to normal for you guys.”
Dean stared at me. “No it won’t. I don't want you to go.”
I scoffed and stood up from the bench. “Dean, enough. I told you it's fine. I'll make sure Sam doesn't blame you.”
I walked towards the door, aware I was going to have to get past him to leave. I gave him a wide berth but he sidestepped to intercept me.
“I don't want you to go.” He repeated quietly.
“Yeah, okay.” I said sarcastically. “If you say-”
In a blink Dean grabbed hold of my upper arms and yanked me forward so that I stumbled into him, gasping. His mouth crashed down on mine and I squealed in surprise.
He kissed me hard and quick, stroking up into the roof of my mouth with his wide tongue and then ripping himself away from me.
He was breathing hard as he stared down at me and spoke in a rough whisper.
“I don't want you to go.”
I just blinked at him, confusion overwhelming me. “What…what are you…what?”
“I don't want you to go.” He repeated for the fourth time. “But you should go. You should run long and far and never look back.” His voice sounded desperate.
I was so confused. “What are you talking about?”
He cupped my cheeks and kissed me again slowly, sweetly. I started to comprehend what was actually going on and I felt like my mind was going to explode. He left me reeling, my whole world turning upside down in disbelief as he pulled away from my lips to bury his face in my neck and kiss his words into my skin.
“God, Sweetheart, all I dream about is you; you're all I see when I close my eyes. But you can't stay; you can't love me back.”
I listened to his words as I dropped my head back so he had better access to all the sensitive spots on my neck.
“…you can't love me back…”
My voice was breathless and bemused as I spoke. “But you don’t love me…you can't love me…you don't even like me.”
Dean pulled back to look me in the eye and I was shocked to see that his eyes were slightly glassy. I shook my head again, though I didn't know why I was trying so hard to deny his words when they were what I'd wanted to hear for so long.
But I continued. “No, it’s not possible.” I said. “You don't like me. You're always angry at me, cold and distant. You think I'm a shitty hunter; I'm a burden and liability to have with you on cases.”
I was shaking my head. “You leave me in the car!”
Dean closed his eyes and spoke quietly. “I leave you in the car because when you're with us I'm completely distracted trying to make sure nothing happens to you; I can't do my job properly. And I'm cold and distant with you because…”
He opened his eyes slowly. “Because I know I can't have you.”
For the first time since I'd known him, I could easily read the emotion swirling in his deep, forest green eyes. And what I saw was just immense sadness.
He shook his head. “I can't have you.”
“What do you mean, you ‘can’t have me’? Says who?” I asked croakily, my throat constricted.
His jaw clenched and he looked away from me, over my shoulder. “Every single person that's been ripped out of my life since I was four years old. And the list is long, so very long. They're all telling me over and over that loving you is a selfish, impossible daydream. They're screaming at me from the grave, reminding me that trying to hold on to you is going to get you killed.”
He was staring past me as though he could actually see the ghosts that haunted him, could hear their words of warning.
“You know,” I said with a sniffle as my eyes and nose started watering, “I think that might be the most you've ever said to me at one time.”
Dean let out a puff of air that wasn't quite a laugh, and he shook his head again. “I don't want you to go, but you should go.”
I swallowed several times, the tears still flowing as I realized that all of this was really happening.
He loved me. Truly.
Finally I dashed away my tears and sniffled again. “Not a chance, Dean Winchester. You say you love me? Well, great, cause I love you too.”
He pulled in a stuttered breath and I could see the fear in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak again and I took the chance to steal a kiss, pressing close to him and winding my arms around his neck.
He let out what I hoped was a groan of capitulation and wrapped his arms around my ribs, squeezing me to him tightly and deepening the kiss. His tongue swept through my mouth, exploring every inch, pulling soft moans from the back of my throat as I raked my nails through his hair and he shuddered against me.
After kissing me senseless for several minutes, he broke it off so we could both suck air into our starving lungs. He rested his forehead against mine and I could still hear the sadness in his voice and it made my heart ache.
“If you stay here with me, you can’t ever leave. Okay? Promise me if you stay, if we love each other out loud, promise me it'll be okay. That I won’t have to live without you, that you’ll always be safe.”
He touched my lips briefly with his, and then spoke against them, whispering. “I couldn’t take it. So promise. Even if it's a lie. Promise me anyway.”
“I promise.” I told him with my whole heart, and sealed it with a kiss.
Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 * @alwaystiredandconfused @jzackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly * @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma @luvr4miya * @arcannaa @viviwatchestv @winharry @ladysparkles78 @kr804573
* @whimsyfinny * Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @safiyas-world @aylacavebear * Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @hobby27 * @waywardcheshire @libby99hb * Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 * @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester * @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @deangirl96 @stoneyggirl2 @fanfic-n-tabulous
Lockwood[getting ready to speak to Lucy in TCS]: Can I tell her she looks nice?
George: Sure.
Lockwood: Can I tell her I miss her?
George: Maybe, if she asks.
Lockwood: Can I show her an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our 3 cats and 4 dogs?
George:
George: I'd save that for later.
Dean's way of decompressing is to sit in his room and blast music through his headphones. He doesn't like to be interrupted, and when he feels your weight dip into the bed he's sure he will be.
But instead, you shuffle up to lay beside him, an arm draped over his chest. He thinks you might say something, so he turns the volume down and waits a little. But you never do.
It's been a while since he's felt understood, and it'll be a while before he can fully express that to you. He finds comfort in knowing you will wait patiently.