Where Is My Husband!!!!

Shipping fictional characters isn’t representative of your moral values. It’s representative of your particular psychic damage and the themes and motifs that haunt you. Hope this helps.

Diagrams are helpful to me

stardew valley isn’t relaxing to me bc it’s a particularly chill or simple game. stardew valley is relaxing because it gives me a controlled outlet to obsessively micromanage something and get consistent positive results. nothing heals my soul quite like creating increasingly elaborate spreadsheets for my crops and carefully calculating the optimal times to upgrade my tools

Will he !?!?!?!?

Reading Pennywaynes as canon is SO funny because there’s no way to plot it out other than Martha dragging Alfred home, presenting him (in full, mild British fluster) to Thomas, and letting her darling husband know that she’d found a butler for them to fuck together.

He’s an excellent cook, he’s killed an indeterminate amount of people somewhere overseas, and she thinks he’d be lovely to have around for the baby.

Dexter Morgan is not a psychopath he was just an autistic child who needed tons of therapy but instead his father manipulated him into becoming a serial killer because he was a bad father.

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

born to be richie tozier (loud, always laughing, thrives with other people, unapologetic yourself), forced to be eddie kaspbrak (worries too much, easily grossed out, full of rage, trapped in a cycle of familiarity even though it’s awful)

bruce: i noticed that my vodka supply was dwindling and confronted jason (23) and tim (17), who pointed the finger at damian (14), who guiltily confessed to making penne allá vodka “several times” over the last month

bruce: of course i didn’t believe him, until i watched him execute it flawlessly. i guess it’s a tiktok thing?