Danny Kills The Joker AU

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

Gravity Falls Noir fic idea

Someone tell me if I should write this

Basic idea:

1949-Two years after the start of the Cold War

Dipper and Mabel were lost in the woods in Piedmont California as children for several years, until they were spotted by locals wandering into town together. They were immediately taken to their parents and interrogated by police, but they wouldn’t talk to anyone but each other. They only seemed to communicate telepathically. Their parents tried therapy, medication, and countless different specialists, but nothing seemed to work and they couldn’t know what they experienced in the woods. The only clue as to what Dipper and Mabel went through was their aversion to triangles and the color yellow, their extreme paranoia, and their resistance to prolonged eye contact. Reluctantly, Dipper and Mabel’s parents send them down to Gravity Falls to see their great uncles Stanley and Stanford, private investigators with a knack for the paranormal. But, as misfortune would have it, the CIA takes notice, and suddenly they’re being watched. Then, things get weird. 

(also, I really love the idea of an old-timey newspaper that says "Mystery Twins Found After Disappearance in Piedmont Woods")

*stares at you lovingly with Minecraft in my eyes*

AITA for realizing that my best friend is actually a ghost and not telling him because i'm worried that if he realizes he's dead he'll finally be able to accept it and fully pass on and i won't be able to hang out with him anymore?

Danny's flight or fight response has quite the hair trigger for a few select phrases most being things vlad would say

One such being his full name a bit odd but there's a reason he always asks to be called danny

So really it's not his fault after joining the school in gotham he had been introduced to his class and he'd told them to call him danny

And he hadn't heard him all he'd heard was someone calling him danial and putting a hand on his shoulder

So really he can't be blamed for how he reacted he told everyone not to call him Daniel and he snuck up and called him daniel

How can he be blamed for breaking Damien waynes nose

Fun fact: jefferson was 12-14 years older than hamilton. The generational gap was exaggerated by the fact that jefferson was also 8 inches taller than him. Imagine getting roasted by a tiny gen alpha kid in court

Danny, due to being illegal because he exists, along with many other things, does not like cops. He makes a youtube channel that youtube can't take down, where he, as a ghost in full view of everyone, stalks and narrates cops like he's Steve Irwin.

~~~~~~

"Right, watch as the pig, in it's natural habitat, eats another donut. Like all other members of this particular swine family, they need to refuel constantly, to keep up energy to hunt minorities. They're unique in the animal kingdom, because they hunt for the pure thrill of it, as opposed to doing it for food. Watch now as it devours it's fourth donut in a row."

Dick was trying to ignore the glowing meta that was recording him eating donuts in his uniform.

His little brother was Tim. This was nothing. He could ignore it.

The meta kid's stomach grumbled, as he was going on about how the donut shop was a cop-sorry, pig's-natural environment.

Dick sighed.

"If you knock it off I'll buy you donuts for yourself."

I hate being a person who loves bugs, I can't say anything without the person I'm talking to reacting with disgust. Today I had to literally beg a coworker for the life of a spider, and then after I put it in a nook outside she thought it'd be funny to show me a video she took of her killing one. Like idk man. Birds scare the shit out of me but I still get why people love them. They come in pretty colors and they sound nice and they're interesting to observe. I don't understand why people don't feel the same about bugs. The rich amber color of a cockroach, the iridescent glow of a fly, the intricate hydraulics that power their little legs, the chirp of a beetle, the art of the spider's web... It's all so beautiful. Why is it the habit of so many to destroy?

Something I've seen in fics a few times but not for comedic effect is the idea that Constantine selling his soul so many times makes him look/feel Wrong to ghosts.

Like I love various Danny ghost shenanigans giving Constantine a heart attack in stories but just imagine that Constantine is like deeply, deeply unsettling for Ghosts & Liminals to be around.

To the point of whenever he and Danny meet for the first time at the Watchtower after Danny's joined the League, Constantine just walks in and upon turning to look at who just walked in Danny just shrieks like a small child and throws a chair at him out of reflex, diving behind Captain Marvel to use him as a magical human meat shield while screeching "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" At the top of his lungs and doesn't stop until Batman makes Constantine leave.

Even after Zantanna explains Constantine's whole deal and Danny explains to the Justice League how totally fucked up that looks/feels like to him ("Dude, Ghosts are their core, for us you see that before you see the shape of whoever you're talking to. Like, imagine someone walks up to you with a face that looks like it's made out of a shattered plate and the pieces are bleeding"

Or like, imagine instead it's a thing were Jason and Jazz are dating and Jazz, Danny & Elle are invited over for a nice meet the family brunch - "Brunch is fun and casual!" Dick insisted, "Way less intimidating than if we had them over for dinner!") and Constantine pops in to talk to Bruce about a case.

And the second he walks into the room all three just shriek like they're from an episode of Scooby Doo.

Elle takes one look at Constantine and just nopes out of there so hard she doesn't even gk intangible as she throws herself out the window and starts flying for the hills. Danny screeches like a cat whose tail has been stepped on and jumps onto the ceiling and scrambles away. Jazz screams like a house wife from an old Looney Tunes cartoon and starts climbing Jason like a tree - which is a bit of a problem since she's half a foot taller than Jay and throwing his center of balance off a bit and now half of the plates are smashed on the floor.

Jason doesn't even notice though because he also is losing his shit over what the fuck that thing is and unlike Elle is far more interested in Fight rather than Flight and pulls out a gun - "Why'd you bring a gun to brunch?! Guns aren't fun or casual!" - and just starts unloading on Constantine (who is very lucky Jason has switched to non lethal rounds and that he's quick enough with his spells to largely keep most of the rubber bullets from hitting him) also while screaming at the top of his lungs.

And well, turns out Jason's new girlfriend is the older sister of that ghost hero the League's been looking to recruit and Bruce is gonna take advantage of that - Phantom has been hard to pin down, which is fair, bad history with government agencies trying to kill him and all - to talk to him about a place with JL, though first he's going to have to get him down from the ceiling and that'd be a lot easier if Constantine would just leave already, they are supposed to be having a family brunch this is his one day off!

(Elle screams her all the way to Metropolis and doesn't stop until she nearly knocks Superman out of the sky. He isn’t really sure what's going on, but he does manage to calm her down and takes her to go get some ice cream. When he pitches joining JL she tells him that she thinks he's kinda lame but that Superboy is cool so she's down. It's...honestly kinda devastating but Clark manages to get through it.

A note gets made when the two ghost heroes officially join the League that partnerships with Constantine should be kept at an absolute minimum.)

And lol yeah, just, Constantine being utterly terrifying to Danny and the Pham

what a good day to remember that butch lesbians (ESPECIALLY trans, poc, and/or fat butch lesbians) aren’t fucking predatory