Two Guys Having A Conversation About Their Friend Who Uses Any Pronouns But They're Very Clearly Trying

truly is a beautiful masterpiece of modern art that an online community largely fueled by fandom and media analysis has come full circle into creating a detailed and thorough pastiche, via gifsets and faux analysis essays and letterboxd reviews and more, of a "forgotten 1970s film classic" that does not actually exist. Goncharov (1973) (the memetic phenomenon) has quickly become one of the most biting statements about the current state of art and its consumption. A work of art that exists not in and of itself, but as a discussion of itself. an analysis of itself. An appreciation of itself. pure unadulterated simulacrum.

One evening, I was at the LGBTQIA center for a trans committee and I was the only trans man in attendance. One trans woman told me she never understood how I could want to be a "disgusting man".

Later that evening, she told me she'd love to swap bodies with me (I was pre T, pre op and didn't bind). I told her I didn't understand why she'd want to have the body of a "disgusting man".

She called me transmisogynistic.

Oh, the irony.

How do you process grief?

by running from it until it finds me in the middle of a sunny street on a beautiful day

A comic based on this poem

Aquest és un petit poema visual que vaig fer farà un any i que mai vaig posar en imatges (fins ara). 

Reblog if you have made a friend online that you would love to hang with, but they live far away.

I've been reading some stuff on punitive justice, and it made something click for me that I've observed a lot online but haven't been able to put into words before.

When someone does something wrong, that's bad, and the damage it does needs to be repaired while the person needs to try to do better in future to minimize repeating harm. We learn it in preschool - say sorry, don't do it again. If they keep at it, remove them from the situation where they can do the harm until they prove they're responsible enough to go back in.

So if it turns out someone DIDN'T do anything wrong, that should be a relief! There's no damage to fix, no internal errors to correct. Less work for everybody, literally no harm done. False alarm, all good.

The thing I've observed is, lots of people want them to have done something wrong. There's almost disappointment when it turns out there's no harm done. And I think that's because of this general undercurrent of punitive justice as morally righteous and desirable: someone does something wrong, you get to punish them. Turns out they're innocent? That's disappointing. Find another reason you get to punish them, or find another bad person you get to punish. But at the core of it is that desire to punish someone. Someone you can hurt in a way that makes you a better person for hurting them.

This particular brand of almost cannibalistic pseudo-justice is super common in tumblr, one of the most ostensibly liberal spaces on the internet; I see more borderline savagery in online discourse here than in the actually toxic parts of the internet that are just openly cruel for cruelty's sake. It's always thrown me for a loop, and has frankly also hurt me, because on the rare occasions I get personally dogpiled, it only actually stings when it makes me worry that I've legitimately hurt someone. If I did something wrong, or more realistically when I inevitably do something wrong, that would make it good and right for people to give me shit about it every day until I'm dead.

The thing that clicked for me most recently was this bit in Ijeoma Oluo's Be A Revolution:

Punitive justice is specifically, uniquely appealing to people who have suffered injustices. Of course it's the Tumblr zeitgeist. Everyone here is a marginalized person failed by at least one system. Punishing someone for perceived injustice is how someone the system has deemed worthless proves their value in blood, even if the person being punished hasn't harmed you directly - even if they haven't harmed anyone. "Righteous" anger isn't about the target in these cases, it's about the inflicter. This is how much my pain is worth.

And that kind of violent validation is so alluring and so very dangerous. It seeks an outlet, wearing the justification of justice. Who's in reach? Who's an acceptable target this week? What's a good reason to use?

Is there anything they could do that would make me stop?

Have you ever found a writing or a drawing you don't remember making? Well I found a poem written two years ago that I must've left as a draft. I don't know how it was supposed to end, what the meaning was supposed to be, the person (or thing?) I'm adressing, or even the theme. I don't know how to feel about this ngl.

Hey eret where do you get the fake boobs my friend has been feeling really dysphoric lately and her birthday is coming up so I wanted to buy them for her so she could hopefully feel a bit better

From my experience, Amazon is the most convenient place to get this sort of thing. Just look up "Breast forms" and go from there. I'll go into more detail below on the different types you can get though (Sorry this post gets long!)

I'm not sure if I can post even censored images of what these look like on tumblr, so I'm gonna play it safe! :)

There are two main types of wearable fake breasts that you can get:

Breast Forms - These are very convenient and can just be slotted into a bra. Generally range in price anywhere from $20 to like $80 (USD) depending on size and brand. If you get these, measure for a bra after you get them because the size the form says it will be and the actual measurement you get in a bra size calculator for your body may be significantly different (generally better to go for a bigger size of bra as bras have adjustable clasps and straps that you can make smaller if needed, but you can't make them bigger.)

Pros: Very convenient, generally cheaper, realistic weight, can wear for a long time without issue Cons: Only look good if worn under clothes, can be very delicate (punctured by sharp things easily, this ruins the form) Brands I've used: Vollence, Feminique, Y-Not

Breast plates - If you see a cosplayer with fake breasts where their chest is showing, they will almost certainly be wearing a breast plate. These are basically silicone vests with breasts. They can be incredibly convincing if done correctly, however they do have downsides. For example, you have to cover the transition between plate and skin otherwise it will look bad. It can also be challenging to match skin colour sometimes. Generally start at $100 USD and only get more expensive from there depending on size and brand.

Pros: Look very realistic, can wear clothing that reveals one's chest if wanted, have realistic weight and feel, very durable, perfect for cosplay Cons: Generally more expensive, have to hide transition lines between skin and plate, hard to match skin tone, cannot wear for long periods of time as it covers your whole upper torso (skin needs to breath), very inconvenient to put on (I need a hair net as it gets stuck on my hair), have to dust on talcum/baby powder before each use to help with getting it on and comfort. Brands I've used: U-Charmmore, Roanyer (they have an entire store for this kind of stuff, even like male muscle suits)

I hope this helps!

Gender stuff is really bizarre, I'm not sure why it feels comforting for me to have breasts at times, but it just does, so I go with it. I'm still working stuff out myself :)

Alteritat

Si dins d'un mar d'estrelles

tu fossis aquella altra,

si no et trobessis en les fotos de l'habitació,

si no sabessis com s'encén el llum,

com et sentiries?

Et perseguirien fantasmes d'entre les mantes?

Buscaries diaris en els calaixos?

O ballaries amb el desconegut?