Alexandraksidi - Alex

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

Thinking about their parallels. I am NOT okay.

i dont think i’ll ever get over how at peace kunikida looks here. i don’t really know how to phrase if but it’s something about how kunikida has always been ready to sacrifice himself, how he has never shied away from death’s door, as if that is the only way he can truly fulfill his ideals

what will kunikida do when he finally achieves it all? i believe he sets this perfect, ridiculously high standard for himself for a sense of purpose, or rather a reason to live. will he still choose to live without it?

there’s something symbolic about how kunikida separates from his notebook when he sacrifices himself. it’s as if he is tethered to living because of his ideals, and when he goes, he leaves behind his notebook, releasing himself at last

jouno once asked if he was relieved to be freed from his self-inflicted burden. at that time, i believe the answer was still ‘no’, for it wasn’t fully his choice. he still had much to do, the agency was messy and running, he couldn’t truly die in peace

this time, even though i don’t believe he’s fully dead, i think kunikida is okay with dying here. because atsushi just saved junichirou! he chose to fight for what’s left instead of ceaselessly grappling for something already fading. it’s something that kunikida has taught him since the very first day—think about what you can do. kunikida himself wasn’t able to save them, but atsushi did, and in him, his ideals will continue to live. atsushi’s actions showed him that even if he dies, they’ll be okay. they’ll be okay without him

i think that’s why this is the most at peace we’ve ever seen kunikida. to know that his teachings have impacted someone and that it wasn’t all for naught. this is relief

THE SUN COMES UP AGAIN // LIVING DESPITE IT ALL

Anne Lamott Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life // José Saramago Cain // Kill Your Darlings (2013) dir. John Krokidas // Katie Maria The Memory of a Memory // Cheryl Strayed Tiny Beautiful Things // Undertale (2015) cr. Toby Fox // pinterest // SEVENTEEN: HIT THE ROAD episode 10 A Time To Face Myself (via @kwonhochi) // pinterest // カウボーイビバップ Cowboy Bebop (1988-1999) cr. Hajime Yatate // pinterest // pinterest // Mary Oliver For Example

What makes Poor Things so ultimately triumphant for me is the way that Bella Baxter is, despite it all, her own creation. She came into the world in an experiment that violated the autonomy of both Victoria before her and Bella herself, but she steps beyond the parameters of the experiment and into the world, to learn from it. The intentions of men may be to possess her or use her or take joy in despoiling her vulnerability, but their intentions do not determine her experiences. She decides. She explores. She looks at a world full of sorrow that could render her helpless and chooses instead to do what she can about it and then sleep easy at night. She listens to the call of her curiosity before all else, her happiness second, her compassion third. The family that she makes for herself in the end is unconventional, but it's ultimately hers and allows her to flourish as a doctor with an experimental nature and a heart of patinaed silver.

And I don't think it could be that particular kind of triumphant if the movie wasn't so fucked up.

collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:

even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body

you don't have to brush your teeth standing up

you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering

you don't have to shower with the lights on

if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath

if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria

eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food

you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it

some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them

kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time

if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are

we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it

spring is coming. Spring IS COMING. You will stand on soft grass again, and feel the sun kiss your cheeks and shoulders. you will eat of the same berries as the animals returned from their hibernation. you will hear the air alive with your collective breathing.