“You Get A Strange Feeling When You’re About To Leave A Place. Like You’ll Not Only Miss The People

“Yes, be patient with me. My heart is heavy.”

— Albert Camus

“At the present time, I long only to sleep and to remain silent. I am sick of humanity.”

— Albert Camus to Jean Grenier, Correspondence 1932-1960

my last two brain cells

“Neither happiness nor sadness are inbuilt in the events and circumstances showing up. All that appears before you is devoid of all meaning. You are the meaning maker. You are the experience you bring into this moment.”

— http://Infinite-Life.Com (via kidestom)

ZINAIDA GIPPIUS 1869–1945

Russian poet, novelist, playwright, religious thinker, and critic, and one of the most prominent figures of the Symbolist movement during Russia’s Silver Age. The oldest of four sisters in a family that moved frequently, her early education was spotty at best. But she began writing poetry at the age of seven, and was already published by the time she met the aspiring writer Dmitry Merezhkovsky at the age of 19. The two were married within a year, though Gippius insisted that they remain equals in the relationship, with their own separate living quarters and careers. Gippius became a prolific writer of short stories, novels, and essays, and found success as a literary critic under a male pseudonym. But she was best known for her poetry which, unlike her commercial work, was dark and deeply personal. She often referred to her poems as personal prayers. Her writing helped give rise to Russian Symbolism, while earning her a reputation as a “demoness” and a “decadent Madonna,” an image which she embraced. Gippius identified with androgyny, which she expressed by wearing masculine and feminine clothing in turn. Even her poetry, which was written under her own name, was often written with a male voice. She also believed that bisexuality was the natural state of people, and wrote that “it is equally good and natural for any person to love any other person.” She had affairs with both men and women, although it’s unclear how many of the affairs were sexual, just as it’s unclear whether she had a physical relationship with her husband, who may have himself been gay. Her views of sexuality, politics, and religion were closely entwined, and she believed that sexual and gender liberation were religious and revolutionary pursuits. In 1901, she and her husband co-founded the Religious and Philosophical Meetings, which tried to create ties between Russia’s revolutionary thinkers and religious leaders under the banner of a “New Church.” Their close friend and writer Dmitry Filosofov joined their cause, and even entered into a spiritual marriage with the couple, calling themselves the “Brotherhood of Three.” Though decidedly against the Tsar, their religiosity put the three of them at odds with the emerging Bolsheviks. After the 1917 October Revolution, they were forced to flee the country, and Filosofov parted ways. Gippius and Merezhkovsky lived for periods in Poland, Italy, and France, bringing together other Russian expats and still attempting to spread their religious and philosophical ideas. But they eventually found themselves isolated from their previous friends, not helped by the fact that Gippius had made many enemies as a harsh critic and the center of several love triangles throughout her life. Merezhkovsky died suddenly in 1941, and Gippius, devastated, spent her final months writing his biography.

Visit the website

“Oh, my beautiful broken white rose! Don’t give up on your dreams, in achieving them you are so close.”

— Girl followed by shadows 

“Why can’t people just sit and read books and be nice to each other?”

— David Baldacci, The Camel Club