Me, All The Time: I Could Just Die And Not Have To Do This

Homeschooler aesthetics:

-Everyone is so fucking weirdly competitive. If you think public schoolers are competitive, just wait until you see homeschoolers play capture the flag.

-Everyone is either Vegan, Christian, Conservative, and will yell at anyone who doesn’t follow social norms or they’re some form of LGBT+, cool with fucking everything, and have dyed hair and Mohawks and shit. I’ve literally never seen an in between in my entire fucking life.

-You forget that everyone you know isn’t also homeschooled. You’re just so used to it that people being in public school seems odd and surreal.

-“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PUBLIC SCHOOLERS”

-“What school do you go to?”

-“What grade are you in?”

-most of your day is taken up by waiting for all your public schoolers friends to come home. Its extremely boring.

-You sleep in until like 1 pm and die every time you have to get up before like 11 am because that’s early for you.

-“oh my God so do you like, do school in your pajamas?”

-“oh my god so do you like, eat lunch whenever you want?”

-“oh my god how you like, make any friends?”

-co-ops

-the list goes fucking on

Marriage Story (2019)

omshgdhasgd my baby is trending UwU

This tower, patched unevenly with black ivy, arose like a mutilated finger from among the fists of knuckled masonry and pointed blasphemously at heaven. At night the owls made of it an echoing throat; by day it stood voiceless and cast its long shadow.

Mervyn Peake

Almond Branches In Bloom, San Remy | Vincent Van Gogh

‘am i Having A Brain Problem or Being a Shithead’: a short procrastination checklist

aka why tf am i procrastinating on The Thing (more like a flowchart, actually)

lots of people who have executive function difficulties worry about whether they’re procrastinating on a task out of laziness/simply wanting to be a jerk or mental struggles. this checklist might help you figure out which it is at any given time! (hint: it’s almost never laziness or being a jerk.) (obligatory disclaimer: this is just what works for me! something different might work better for you.)

1) do I honestly intend to start the task despite my lack of success?

yes: it’s a Brain Problem. next question

no: it’s shitty to say one thing & do another. better be honest with myself & anyone expecting me to do the task.

2) am I fed, watered, well-rested, medicated properly, etc?

yes: next question

no: guess what? this is the real next task

3) does the idea of starting the task make me feel scared or anxious?

yes: Anxiety Brain. identify what’s scaring me first.

no: next question

4) do I know how to start the task?

yes: next question

no: ADHD Brain. time to make an order of operations list.

5) do I have everything I need to start the task?

yes: next question

no: ADHD Brain lying to me about the steps again, dangit. first task is ‘gather the materials’.

6) why am i having a hard time switching from my current task to this new task?

i’m having fun doing what i’m doing: it’s okay to have fun doing a thing! if task is time-sensitive, go to next question.

i have to finish doing what i’m doing: might be ADHD brain. can I actually finish the current task or will I get trapped in a cycle? does this task really need to be finished?

the next task will be boring/boring-er than the current task: ADHD brain. re-think the next task. what would make it exciting? what am I looking forward to?

I might not have enough time to complete the task: ADHD brain wants to finish everything it starts. (if task is time-sensitive, go to next question)

i just want to make the person who asked me to do it angry: sounds like anxiety brain trying to punish itself, because I know I’ll be miserable if someone is angry at me. why do i think I deserve punishment?

no, I seriously want to piss them off: okay, i’m being a shithead

7) have I already procrastinated so badly that I now cannot finish the task in time?

yes: ADHD brain is probably caught in a guilt-perfection cycle. since I can’t have the task done on time, i don’t even want to start.

reality check: having part of a thing done is almost always better than none of a thing done. if I can get an extension, having part of it done will help me keep from stalling out until the extension deadline. i’ll feel better if I at least try to finish it.

no, there’s still a chance to finish on time: ADHD brain thinks that I have all the time in the world, but the truth is I don’t. 

reality check: if i’m having fun doing what I’m doing, I can keep doing it, but I should probably set a timer & ask someone to check on me to make sure I start doing the task later today.

8) I’ve completed the checklist and still don’t know what’s wrong!

probably wasn’t honest enough with myself. take one more look.

if I’m still mystified, ask a friend to help me talk it out.

hope this helps some of you! YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU

I want to try so many little hobbies. Candle making, soap making, basket weaving, wood carving, book binding, baking, weaving, I want to try them all.

make your next semester better

so your last semester wasn’t as good as you would have liked it to be. 

some classes were good, and some were not. honestly, applying to universities and scholarships and just the stress of trying to get in has been getting to me. it happens to everyone at some point, whether you’re in currently in, pre, or post secondary-school. 

here’s how we’re going to make the next semester better! 

1. have a good first day.

a big mistake is to be hard on yourself on your first day. being disciplined is good, but when you push to hard you will break sooner. wake up as early as you need to be ready, but don’t push yourself to be up at some crazy hour of the morning. set our your stuff the night before so you can have an easy morning. treat yourself to a healthy, delicious breakfast, it’s really important to eat something first thing in the morning to get your brain working. try not to stress yourself out too much, especially if your last semester kinda sucked, and it’s VERY important not to let yourself automatically associate school with negative emotions like fear and stress, because that will paralyze you down the line when things get more difficult closer to exam season, etc.

2. don’t be afraid to drop

when going to all your new classes, really seriously evaluate your ability to succeed in a class with that time slot/professor/etc. and whether or not the class will really benefit you in the future. last semester i took a kinesology class, which has some relevance to what i want to do, but i didn’t need it. after realizing how much studying i was going to need to do, i dropped it so i could focus more on my other classes that i needed to get good grades in. or try and take it again next semester if it fits!

3. limit other activities at first

your first couple weeks of the new semester, cut back on other activities. do what you enjoy and what will ultimately de-stress you, but if you can, cut back on club meetings, or sports practices this will be best until you get back into a good flow. this will help you get used to the pace of all your classes without being stressed out by other things, it helps you reorganize your priorities and put school first

4. try out something new organizationally

typically, i am a very organized person, and being so i like to reorganize and try out different methods with my planners, folders, notebooks, etc. this helps me to keep me on my feet, remembering that i need to make sure i keep track of assignments, test dates, and anything else. try to find a strategy that works for you, and make it work!

so there are my tips, let’s start get this new semester off to a great start!