14th Doctor Headcannons: ANGST EDITION (because Let's Be Real He's Not The Most Mentally-stable Of Time-lords)

the dumbest temptations that Crowley has ever performed:

tempting a cat to walk over to him when the little 'pssh pshhh kittyyyy' noises weren't working (It was a black cat so it was totally evil and demonic guys trust)

spent 30 seconds panic-adjusting the meat he was offering to Aziraphale in the Job flashback so that it would taste just right

"IT NEEDS MORE SALT WAIT NO THAT'S TOO SALTY NEVERMIND WHERE'S THE SEASONING WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DON'T HAVE SEASONING HERE I THOUGHT GOD CARED??"

his sunglasses made everything too dark for him to see the little stars in Aziraphale's eyes so every time he gets a new pair he makes sure they're just dark enough to hide his eyes and block out bright lights but not dark enough that he can't see his angel's beautiful pupils <3

snakes.

whenever a snake species starts becoming endangered he tempts governments into giving funding for wildlife conservation (occasionally if they're still endangered he grabs a snake or two to raise and reintroduce himself) (It's EVIL because they're POISONOUS and eat...well, mostly mice but don't tell Hell that)

tempting the guy in charge of the playlists at his favourite bar to play angsty songs on repeat when he's brooding >:(

HIII i love your blog lol!

awwww thank you! I love your profile pic the duck is adorable :D

i sometimes forget that crowley and aziraphale have CANONICALLY kissed. on the lips. wow

and it hits me a bit too hard when i remember about it

I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.

Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."

Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.

Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.

Something like this:

We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--

--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.

But it turns out he was this:

!!!

With his curly little--!!

And his neat white--!!

IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:

"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."

(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)

In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.

In sum...an innocent.

(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.

We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.

Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)

So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--

*checks notes*

--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.

...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.

All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?

He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.

That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...

...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.

Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."

And what reason does he give?

("I know you."

"You do not know me."

"I know the angel you were.")

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

("The angel you knew is not me."

But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)

tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.

'Innocence died screaming' and all that.

Hear me out: this good omens quote but with the Doctor and the Master...

The Doctor: "You can't leave! There isn't anywhere to go."

The Master: "It's a big universe - even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo, we can go off together!"

The Doctor: "...Go off together?"

The Doctor: "...Listen to yourself."

The Master: "How long have we been friends? Six thousand years!

The Doctor: "Friends? We're not friends! We are a hero and a villain...we have nothing whatsoever in common - I don't even like you!" The Master: "You do!"

The Doctor: "We're on opposite sides - "

The Master: "We're on our side!"

The Doctor: "There is no our side...not anymore."

me, shivering under 3 blankets on my bed in the middle of winter: sUnSHinE? wHeRe? whErE iS tHe sUNshiNE?

god i love being able to do work from my laptop on a bench in the sunshine with an iced vanilla latte by my side

crying about thoschei rn T_T

no but like the song 'Little Talks' by Of Monsters and Men is so thoschei coded

...Now you're gone, gone, gone away, I watched you disappear, all that's left is the ghost of you. Now we're torn, torn, torn apart, there's nothing we can do, just let me go, we'll meet again soon...

Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around, I'll see you when I fall asleep

Don't listen to a word I say (hey!) The screams all sound the same (hey!) Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore...

"Forgiven? I won't be forgiven, not ever. Part of a demon's job description - unforgivable, that's what I am."

T_T

I forgive you

this is so cute omg

Retired Timelords 😃

“But the TARDIS does your hair?”

“It…uh it does”

Something about the doctors delivery there makes me think this is like the time lord equivalent of your mum doing your hair xD