All-the-thoughts-ever-thought - A Collection Of Thoughts

Some dude in 2020: You should not judge a historical figure, a man from the past, by the modern ethics! He was a product of his time. 500 years ago his actions were completely normal! It’s present-ism, we can’t judge… bla-bla-bla…

People from 500 years ago: Oh my, this guy is such a bastard, a genocidal butcher, a total piece of garbage. Let’s keep records of this douche so people from the future shall hate him too. 

When my mom and aunt were younger my aunt was in high school and my mom in middle school. A group of girls were bullying my aunt and one slapped her in the lunch room. The principal met with my grandma and the other mom. He said they weren’t punishing the other girl because he didn’t get involved in “girl problems.” My grandma asked if that meant my aunt could retaliate the next time it happened and he said no then it would be a fight and they’d both get in trouble.

So my grandma turned away from him and to the other mom and said “I have another daughter. She doesn’t go to this school and she’s a star softball player with her own bat. You can tell your daughter to stop bothering mine or you can drive her to the hospital with a shattered jaw. That’s your choice.” And walked out.

Few months later that girl stole a necklace from my aunt. My grandma called the cops and they all drove to her house to get it back. The cop came outside with it and said he told the family my grandma wouldn’t press charges if they gave it back. My grandma took the necklace and said “Then you’re going to have to go in and tell them you lied because I am pressing charges. She’s a thief and I want her treated like one.”

My grandma was a single mom in the 70s with two daughters and she took no shit from men who tried to undermine her and her daughters.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BtA1pBHn03A/

The demon lord has conquered the land, and five heroes have been summoned to depose him. The heroes journey towards the demon lord–to discover that he’s built a thriving economy, public healthcare, and the land is more prosperous than it has ever been.

thinking about my optometrist who was treating my eye infection and said “if it hurts, you can rinse your eye with boiled water. look at me - look at me. i want you to understand that i mean water that has been boiled and has since cooled down. not boiling water. do you understand?” like i’m so grateful for this man ensuring that I wouldn’t destroy my eyes by pouring boiling water in it, because it is an adequate assessment of my intelligence

Uh. bro what's with the diagonal red lines on your face. wait a minute. Oh shit are you anime blushing cuz you're in love w me bro????? Its ok dude u can tell me

Different Stories Resonate with Different People

In high school one of the common fund raisers was carnation flowers for a dollar during prom season and valentines and a couple other times of year. And you could “order” flowers to be delivered to kids during their homeroom times so it was always a big deal to get flowers and it was super fun

But one of these fundraisers I had a guy friend who commented he never got any because he was always single or his girlfriend always expected flowers but never gave him any

So my senior year valentines I decided I was going to buy all the guys in my homeroom (which he was in) a carnation and said they were from “Anonymous Girl in your homeroom”

So the day came and all the guys started getting flowers and they all realized they were from the same one girl and all got super excited and giddy and protective of their flowers and all day long I saw the guys in my homeroom wear flowers behind their ears or stuffed in their notebooks and they flaunted them around to other guys that didn’t get flowers. One guy tried to see if it would make his girlfriend jealous. A couple of them tried to play detective to figure it out who it was.

Then the next day apparently they all (or at least most of them) got together and bought all the girls in homeroom a carnation as a thank you to whoever it was so every girl in my homeroom got a bouquet of one from every guy (so it was a bouquet of about a dozen) and every single girl was smiling and happy and bouncy as the guys were the day before

And no one ever knew it was me but I was always super proud of that