Challia Bull And The Glasses...

puppygirl who plays a lot of rhythm games so u have to pet her on beat and call her a perfect girl or else she starts getting upset

I think it is well understood that guns lost their romance after rifling was invented and became standard.

House MD + text posts pt. ∞

Everyone comes to me wanting to be some esoteric courtier position. We don't need anymore viziers or seneschals. you're a peasant levy. The princess allows you to use your body and a pike to stop the enemy mounted charge. You can get horny about it if you like.

i just want some friends who will be evil with my triggers. like yes put me into trance cause im beating you in mario kart. please that’s so hot pleasePLEASEPLEASE

Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.

scruffy puppygirl who you liked the vibe of so you invited her to hang with you then at the end of the day she didn’t have anywhere to go so she just kinda followed you home

she never picked out a name she liked and she hates her old name but her collar just reads “STRAY” so you can call her that if you want. she’s never had an owner before so she doesn’t really know how this works

she’s kinda hungry. no it’s fine, she’s not picky, she’ll eat whatever you want to have. yeah, she does like pizza, actually, thank you!

she feels bad for taking up space in your house, she knows it’s kinda small and you don’t have a spare bedroom but the couch is ok and- your bed?? really? are you sure? she doesn’t want to be a bother but if you insist

your bed is so comfortable, and your hands- no no keep petting her! if you don’t mind of course. it’s kinda nice… would it be ok if she kissed you? maybe just a lil cheek kiss? you’ve been so nice to her…

in her DMs giving away my weaknesses with reckless abandon

Diversity win! This mass of teeth and blood pretending to be human is a woman!