Since Joining Tumblr, I’ve Met A Lot Of Young Queer People. Look, I’m A Bisexual Man In A Gay Relationship,

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

More Posts from Always-mimits and Others

3 years ago

Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

please, please and please.

6 years ago

Ask?

be nosy

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say… 2: Did you get to sleep in today? 3: You never know what you got until you lose it? 4: Do you have siblings? 5: How many kids do you want? 6: Who was the last person you held hands with? 7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss? 8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care? 9: Last person to talk on the phone? 10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? 11: When’s your birthday? 12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? 13: What kind of phone do you have? 14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? 15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago? 16: What were you doing at 4 am? 17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech? 18: Are you lying to yourself about something? 19: Last night you felt…? 20: What’s something you cannot wait for? 21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different? 22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night? 23: Are you a morning or night person? 24: What did you get your last bruise from? 25: Do you reply to all of your texts? 26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? 27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? 28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with? 29: How many months until your birthday? 30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? 31: Did you like this past summer? 32: What were you doing before you got on the computer? 33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do? 34: What is the last thing you said out loud? 35: Your mood summed into one work? 36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey? 37: What are your initials? 38: Are you a happy person? 39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago? 40: Where do you want to live when your older? 41: Have you had your birthday this year? 42: What did you do yesterday? 43: What will you be doing tomorrow? 44: How late did you stay up last night? 45: Is there anyone you would do anything for? 46: Is it hard to make you laugh? 47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends? 48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? 49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012? 50: Do you wish your ex was dead? 51: Have you ever dyed your hair? 52: Would ever take back someone that cheated? 53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable? 54: Bet you’re missing someone right now? 55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? 56: Sleep on your back or stomach? 57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ? 58: What would you change about your life right now? 59: Has anything upset you in the past week? 60: Are you on the phone? 61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back? 62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? 63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? 64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? 65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework? 66: Are you the type of person who liks to be out or at home? 67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? 68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone? 69: Could you use some sleep right now? 70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18? 71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you? 72: What’s your favorite color? 73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked? 74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand? 75: Do you get annoyed easily? 76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? 77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to? 78: Does anyone call you babe? 79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand? 81: What color hoodie did you wear last? 82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

2 weeks ago

honestly theres always been something really wrong with me but whatever

3 months ago

SIGN-UP FOR PROMPT 625: SECONDARY

SIGN-UP FOR PROMPT 625: SECONDARY

This week's prompt is: SECONDARY.

Welcome to Full Moon Ficlet, the weekly prompt community for Teen Wolf!

In order to sign-up, just reblog this post or fill out this form and get writing a fic or ficlet that is inspired by this week's prompt. There are just a few rules:

Be inspired by the prompt of the week!

Reblog the original prompt post to sign-up for the week in order to be included in the masterlist, or fill out the form above. Do this by Tuesday morning at 10 am Eastern time!

Your creation must be a part of the Teen Wolf fandom. Crossovers and fusions are welcome as long as TW is the primary focus.

Starting 07/03/2022, RPF will no longer be allowed as part of the challenge.

To be considered a ficlet, your story should be at least 200 words minimum and a maximum of 1499 words.

To be considered a fic, your story should be at least 1500 words minimum, and there is no maximum!

Art is art, and we love it! We will not be reblogging art, only a link, so please just make sure we know to mark the link NSFW if it is.

New chapters from a WIP or series are welcome, but please post your story or chapter in its entirety! Posting a chapter or story that is incomplete just makes readers sad. Choose the closest proper category (fic or ficlet) when you submit your completed work for the masterlist.

You can post your fic(let) or art ANYWHERE. If you post on AO3, please feel free to add it to the collection for this week's prompt (FMF_625).

Use the submission form to tell us about your fic by Saturday, January 25, 2025, by 10 am Eastern time in order to have it included on the masterlist.

There is no limit on the number of people who can sign up! Every prompt is a new week and a new event; you only sign up for one week at a time. There is no consequence for pledging to write and being unable to submit a fic that week. We understand that life interferes!

Now go have fun and create new fanworks for Teen Wolf! Art, fic, ficlets; everything is welcome. Enjoy, and get creative!

6 years ago

This is awful

My Best Friend Had A Horrible Top Surgery Experience, And His Surgeon Doesn’t Seem To Care. He Is Raising

My best friend had a horrible top surgery experience, and his surgeon doesn’t seem to care. He is raising money to get a second opinion and (hopefully) another surgery to fix what his first surgeon did. Anyone can look at these pictures and realize that is NOT right.

So even if you cannot donate, please reblog and share this. My best friend is entirely broken over this and is strongly fighting a deep depression because of it.

He deserves happiness, and was so close to finally reaching it before this happened. I want nothing more than for him to love himself when he sees himself, including with his shirt off.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read, share, and/or donate!

http://www.gofundme.com/5s6wm6o

6 years ago
Welcome To Tumblr.
Welcome To Tumblr.
Welcome To Tumblr.
Welcome To Tumblr.
Welcome To Tumblr.
Welcome To Tumblr.
Welcome To Tumblr.
Welcome To Tumblr.
Welcome To Tumblr.

Welcome to Tumblr.

7 years ago

Life (Idk how to title this)

My first real post is gonna be heavy. Just a warning. I'm finally going to write this post. I needed to wrap my head around it and distance myself from it slightly. Things like this honestly hit me harder than I like to admit, it’s hard for me to know someone I had so much love and respect for is gone. It’s even worse when it’s through cancer like Alan Rickman or suicide like so many, now including Chester Bennington. I’ve always had a love for Linkin Park, it honestly helped me through a lot of personal demons. So it’s even harder for me since his music helped me not do exactly what he ended up doing. This has got to open a much needed dialogue of mental health and the reality of depression. I know it’s not easy to try to truly understand something as complicated as depression when you have never experienced it, but it’s necessary for progress. You don’t have to understand every little thing about it, but what you must do is open your eyes to the truth that it isn’t something that can be fixed by smiling, putting up a front. The only thing that does is make it harder for people to hear your screams for help, they think you only want attention, when what you really want is someone to try to help you, have someone reach out to you. You might never understand the power of a simple interaction of care, but as someone that has depression, I know how beneficial it can be to have someone simply smile at you or compliment you. No that won’t cure of us of this illness, but it might help us hold on long enough to finally begin to heal and turn our life around. Depression isn’t fake, despite what people might think, if you haven’t learned that by now looking at all the beautiful people that have ended their lives thanks to this monster that is constantly belittling us, beating us down, I really don’t know how to get you to understand. Everyone keeps saying I had no idea, none of us were expecting it, but actually go back through their music and it’s not like he’s hiding his serious struggle within himself. No one likes to acknowledge the problem/truth until it’s too late. And that just worsens the pain for people like me, the ones that know the truth and try to get others to understand it. Depression is a real thing, it terrible and hard to handle, but with help we can all begin to heal and keep going forwards even while the beast that is depression is trying to pull us back and down. People tend to only see what they want to, so they will look past obvious struggles of others around them. I get it, I do, I’m not trying to offend anyone, or make it seem like it’s your fault, it isn’t but you could save a life, I just want you to realize that. It’s really important to try to see things from others point of views, that way you can understand more and just maybe try to help them. I know how easy it is to just walk by and ignore the person that is struggling, but what is easy isn’t always right. I want to impress upon you all the importance of doing the right thing in this situation, you could help someone hang on long enough to actually keep going. I’m not pretending to know everything or make it seem like a saint, I just want to make people see. I definitely have tried everything to help as many people as possible though. I’m the type of person that will bring all the struggling people together and try to help them build themselves up again. I grew up around it and I think that is part of the reason that I’m more than willing to bend over backwards to help others living with this and other really difficult illnesses. My brother and I both have had depression since we were young, so I’ve spent a lot of my time trying to help him keep his head above the water, though I’ve almost lost him at least twice that I know of. He’s my big brother, I can’t lose him, so seeing it in him helps me help myself and many others. I will never give up on someone, no matter the situation, I’ll try everything in my power to help in any way that I possibly can. Yes I do thing like this to help others, but it also helps me with my own depression, we all have different way of dealing with our depression, they’re not always healthy, but they’re our way of pushing forwards against the odds. I’m not condoning nor am I judging the way other people deal with their depression, I have no right to judge considering I use to cut myself and the only reason I can say I use to is that I haven’t done it in over a month. Thing are difficult there is no sugar coating it. This shit is hard and it takes a lot of work to keep going, but I promise the effort will be worth it. Things will suck, but things will also be amazing beyond belief, so you just have to find a way to keep going. There are a million ways to deal with it, you can be like me and help others, you can be like others and turn it into some form of art, you can find something that drives you, you can lean on people, or something else that might help you. I definitely don’t claim to have all the answers, no one ever does. But I promise that I’ll be by anyone’s side when they need me, no matter what it takes. I know the pain of going against this monster alone, I don’t want anyone to feel that way. You’re not alone, you are never alone, someone out there is supporting you, whether you know it or not. Any of you reading this need someone to talk to I will be there in a heartbeat. Another thing I want to say is there is either a stigma about actually taking medication to help or deciding it’s best for you not to take the medication. If you are one of the ones that feel like you need to take the medication, good for you, you do what’s best for you. Never let anyone tell you that it’s not okay to be taking care of yourself, you might only need it for a short period of time or you might need it for years to come, but either way that’s okay it’s your journey to recovery and no one can tell you how to take it. And alternatively if you feel like it’s better for you not to take medication, then that’s okay too. Some people don’t do better on the medication, other things might help them, like certain vitamins or exercise or other activities that may help you move forwards. Like I said before this is YOUR journey, you decide what’s best for you in the long run, you can listen to people’s advice, but in the end you're the one with the final say. As long as you’re trying to get better, you do you. Take care of yourself the way that works best for you, you might have to try a whole bunch of things until you find what works, but it’s worth the effort. Taking a step in the right direction is the first milestone on your trek to overcoming this beast that’s trying to drag you down. Don’t let it, it won’t be easy, but it’ll be more than worth it. There are people that care and want you to get better, and honestly I do care 100% I’m that person that really cares about anyone, unless they do something I can’t look past (which honestly isn’t much). Truthfully you need someone I’m always willing to talk. The door is always open I guess you can say. And to show you that it isn’t only my brother that I constantly try to help so you believe me when I say you can reach out to me. My bestfriend that I had all through middles school and half of high school until he left and cut ties, was severely depressed and many times came to me to talk him out of taking his life, I did it every time without fail, no matter what he did or how many fights we got into, truly I was always there for him and he knew it. Not once did I hesitate to care for him, even when we dated and he cheated on me with a close friend, nothing change the simple fact I would do anything to help him. Along with him and other friends I’ve had like him, my boyfriend is depressed, extremely so, I do worry for him. But I believe that together we can find a way for him to survive this last year that he has to spend in the place that makes him the most unhappy. After that we’ll find a way to keep the progress going. I knew getting into this relationship that he had depression, did I know how bad it was? No I did not, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m more in love with him than I thought possible. He is an amazing beautiful human being, being depressed doesn’t change that fact. It just adds more layers to the man I love. Never think that being depressed ruins you or your appeal, you are all beautiful human beings and you are worth the world and so much more. I know that’s hard to believe but it’s the truth. You are all incredible and I believe in you. You will find a way to get through this. You will overcome this. You will find a way to be happy. The depression might never fully leave you, but you definitely lessen its hold on you. There has already been so much loss and death, we don’t need anymore. Please reach out to someone, even if it’s me when you feel like ending it. I promise you it’s not worth it to end it all. There is still so much for you to accomplish and see. Don’t give up. Never give up, never surrender. You are beautiful incredible and needed. Keep that in mind please. People love you people care for you and people want you to survive this monster. Even if you don’t think that people do, they do, hell I do. I’m telling you the truth I’m more than willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to anyone that needs it. Please take me up on that if you need someone. I care about each and every one of you. I guess I should end this here, but just know I’m always here and I care about all of you.


Tags
1 year ago

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year?

How many works did you publish this year?

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

What work of yours has the most hits?

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Favorite title you used

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

What work was the quickest to write?

What work took you the longest to write?

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

What’s your longest work of the year?

What’s your shortest work of the year?

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Your favorite character to write this year?

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Which work of yours have you reread the most?

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

Which work has the most comments?

Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Did you write any gifts this year?

Did you receive any gifts this year?

What’s your most common category?

What do you listen to while writing?

Favorite work you wrote this year?

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

6 years ago

reblog if…

• you think Trans boys can still be boys with long hair

• you think Trans boys can still be boys if they like dresses

• you think Trans boys can still be boys even with no physical transition

• you think Trans boys can still be boys if they’re “feminine”

• you think Trans boys can still be boys if they like pink

• you think Trans boys can still be boys

2 years ago

Been working in pest control for 3 months now and i can confidently say that nobody on earth seems to understand that sometimes You Will See A Bugs and that's Normal if you live literally anywhere with oxygen

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always-mimits - Always_MimiTs
Always_MimiTs

My name is Sunflower, SunflowerQueen when it comes to my art, Always_MimiTs on AO3 I'm 26 years old and I'm a shy outgoing person as weird as that might sound together. And if anyone ever needs someone to talk to I'll be here for them no matter what. :) Pronouns are they/them

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