I’ve Lost Myself, Nothing Is As It Seems,

laughed at

for my pain

fake smiles

helps a while

but nothing

stays

the same

i think it’s so beautiful that we can learn each others ways and thoughts. we can understand each other or at least try to, and that itself is a way of giving your love to another. a little bit of your life, a little bit of your being. even if you don’t realize it.

a little green bug landed on my arm, out of instinct i swiped at it. oh what a shame something so small and so unaware had to meet its end, on my skin.

her skin is cold, our fingers fold

and i hold her in my eyes

as she moans

“you saved me”

she wrote

I’m drunk again

And I haven’t been

Anything

Worth troubling

Purposely

On accident

Another day

Another consequence

Who have I been?

Why do I sin?

I feel so weak

Need medicine

I feel so cold

I don’t fit in

My neck is stiff

Remembering

My bodies old

I’m fidgeting

I can’t focus

On anything

Doc…

Im struggling.

How do I medicate

My suffering?

“Boy just ice it

You put it in some rice yet?

Don’t tell me you got problems

Till you spit it out or digest”

I guess I’ve got to change my mindset

You’re the moon and I’m the tides,

You pull me closer with your eyes.

Perhaps the ultimate gift is to remember someone

I just want someone to be real with me.

strength only comes from within.

it is without hesitation,

all from the inside,

with all of your heart

and soul.

cardboard boxes,

felt more like home,

always running,

from things i don’t know,

in the backseat,

everything i own,

call me crazy,

but i feel so alone.

and i can’t decide if i’m,

living or if i’m gone,

there’s a ghost living here,

and i take him everywhere.