I Barely Remember The Last 6 Months Honestly Like Am I Even Alive

what i say: i need a hug

what i mean: i need someone to hold me and not let go for 24 hours

How can I decide what's right

When you're clouding up my mind?

I can't win your losing fight

All the time

Nor could I ever own what's mine

When you're always taking sides

But you won't take away my pride

No, not this time

Not this time

How did we get here?

Well, I used to know you so well

But how did we get here?

Well, I think I know

The truth is hiding in your eyes

And it's hanging on your tongue

Just boiling in my blood

But you think that I can't see

What kind of man that you are

If you're a man at all

Well, I will figure this one out

On my own (I'm screaming, "I love you so")

On my own (But my thoughts you can't decode)

i feel too much or nothing at all // from my journal

there is no damage you can do to me that hasn’t already been done.

Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*

My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC

Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*

My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ....acknowledged

at what point did you decide to destroy me?

i was trying to better understand my fear of men, and then i realized it’s like

when you touch a stove your brain remembers it’s hot and so you are afraid of touching stoves

but my brain messed up somewhere along the way, and im afraid of the whole damn kitchen.