I've Got Like 1k Words Written For Part Two Of And If You Can Forgive, Love Will Truly Live And I'm Not

the suffering never ends

guys i think my style in inconsistent. like wtf. that is definitely not my style??? but i think it's lowkey cute for a quick doodle. (i'm so obsessed with him)

Be not afraid!

So a week ago, I sprained my ankle and couldn't walk for 3 days. I'm used to hiking at least an hour a day with my huskies so not being able to walk at all was driving me crazy. And in my jittery sedimentary state, I kept getting visions of this blursed being: a biblically accurate axolotl. There was nothing I could do but draw it. I'm all better now and able to walk again, now back to making less cursed art (maybe)

No shot I pulled three SSRs in one 11 pull followed by two of the new Dazai in a few 11 pulls later

Ramble

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

I've created another bsd au from my problem of procrastinating school work

Doesn't help that I have a substitute right now

It's fine, I'll do it as homework

Anyways, the Au came into my head from someone's fanart of Dazai with apples and then my brain spiraled

This was the fanart piece

It's literally so pretty

Respectfully, I want to eat the art

Ages ago I went to a flying tiger and saw these..... and I was like "the universe is giving me a skk sign"

Relationship Headcanons

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

TW: none? I think? 

DAZAI 

I said it in my Soukoku fic, Dazai wouldn’t know affection if it slapped him in the face ten times 

Like he might realize when someone is showing interest in a sexual kind 

And he would probably notice if someone is crushing on him 

But like, if he likes them back? 

No 

Man is blind 

He’s too busy panicking over read denying his own thoughts and feelings over you to analyze your actions 

He’s busy trying to think of anything but how pretty you are when he sees you -thank you very much 

No joke though, this can be applied to pretty much anyone he cares about 

I mean he practically had a heart attack when Atsushi gave him flowers 

Anyways if he finally admits to himself that he likes you then I could see him trying to push you away if I’m being brutally honest 

He doesn’t want to lose you and he believes that anything he wants that he obtains, will be striped from him sooner or later 

But…, in a perfect world he would eventually work up the courage to ask you out 

He would probably avoid directly asking you but this is Dazai so he could defiantly figure out some round-about way to ask 

As for the relationship? 

He would still be his teasing self 

But he would tone it down 

Not because he doesn’t want to annoy you but more so because he actually lets some of his masks down when alone with you 

He defiantly is very clingy to you 

Man has been touch starved for a long time and he fears attachment too much to be touchy with the ADA members 

But now he has you, who not only tolerates him but has decided to stay with him? 

Of course he’s not going to let this chance slip from his grasp before all this inevitably ends (he’s still in denial) 

He never cared much for holidays like Christmas or Valentines 

But now he wants to experience them, with you 

He’s always thinking, plans and outcomes racing through his mind, what ifs and regrets  

But like, if you ruffle his hair, his brain just stops. 

Like no thoughts, he short circuits 

When his brain returned to him the first time it happened he panicked 

Like, who gave you that amount of control? 

After that first time he continued to try and get you to do it without asking 

He needed his brain to shut up every now and then, and now he has a reliable source 

Anyways, he likes to be a spoiled princess 

No one can change my mind 

For all his predictions he will never be able to predict your love and kindness for him 

CHUUYA 

Someone give this poor man a hug 

Ugh, my heart 

I can‘t imagine him wanting to date a normal citizen, too much of a risk 

So you’d probably have to work in the Mafia 

Even then, dating you would still be placing a huge target on you 

He would actually take you out on dates before asking you out 

Dates with him would be romantic 

Like dinner by candle light vibes 

He’d be strategic on where you guys sit 

No need to be precarious on what you order, it’s all on him 

When he does ask you out he would be slightly flustered but it just makes him adorable 

Say yes, he doesn’t deserve to be hurt any more 

He would spoil you to no end 

If you want it, you can have it 

You’re the only one allowed to call him short 

He might get flustered from PDA in the start but will gradually warm up to it 

Nothing clingy, just hand holding, a hand around your waist, a quick kiss here or there 

But if he sees some guy hitting on you? 

Down right possessive, arm snug around your waist, shoulder to shoulder 

And if he’s drunk? Even worse 

Like he’s pulling you onto his lap just to make sure that asshole knows your taken 

If you do work in the mafia with him, he likes going on easier missions with you 

And while he knows that you can handle yourself just fine, he can’t help but imagine something bad happening to you when he isn’t there to save you 

He’s lost too many people in his life, please, don’t leave him as well 

He loves when you rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat 

And while you do that he’ll run his fingers through your hair 

Chuuya loves to spoil you rotten as I stated, it’s his love language 

So sometimes he’ll just hand you his black card and let you go shopping with friends or something 

In fact, he encourages you to buy what you want 

FYODOR 

Honestly? Where do I start with him? 

Like congratulations if you meet him and make it out alive 

I don’t know if I should congratulate him taking an interest in you though 

I feel like he believe that the interest he had in you was purely innocent curiosity 

But I also don’t think he would try to delude himself for as long as Dazai does 

Eventually he would notice that something was different about his interest for you than usual 

And while he would hesitate to put a name to it so quickly he would eventually give in after realizing there was no stoping this feeling from festering in him 

After coming to terms with his romantic? Feelings and interest in you he would definitely begin to manipulate you into feeling the same way for him 

If you don’t already that is 

If you don’t confess then he’ll definitely do the same thing Dazai did 

And when you agree, he of course knew you would, he makes you move in with him 

He can’t let his dearest other slip from his finger now can he? 

I feel like before ever getting into a relationship, you would have been made aware of his ‘work’  

Please, make sure the man eats 

And takes his iron pill 

Nikolai is getting a little tired of that daily routine despite how much he loves to be around Fyodor 

Anyways, dates aren’t a very common thing in fact, very, very rare 

I mean… what did you expect? 

Man’s a literal terrorist 

That being said, from time to time he’ll leave his ‘lair’ to spend time with you 

If you ask, he’ll gladly play the cello for you 

If he snaps at you for ‘bothering him with pointless things’ when you bring him his iron pill or food just listen 

Don’t bother him with such things 

And then same thing the next day 

And after some 4 or 5 days he’ll stumble from his room 

Staggering as he tries not to collapse or faint from both his lack of energy and his iron deficiency 

And when he walks into the kitchen trying to get the iron pill bottle open? 

Let him stumble his way over to you and ask for help before you finally do as such 

And he realizes just how dependent on you he’s become 

It’ll happen again eventually 

But as of that moment, it’ll at least be awhile before the cycle repeats 

(That last part of Fyodor’s was based upon some fanfic I read for him. I'm not sure who it was by, but I’ll tag it if and when I do find it.) 

A/N: anyways, believe it or not, I love Chuuya just as much as I do Fyodor and Dazai 

I’m just not as confident in his character. Since I’m a lot like Dazai, he comes easy to me and by substitute, Fyodor does as well 

But Chuuya? Despite him being one of my 5 favorites along with Dazai and Fyodor, I just don’t resonate personally enough with him to write him really well

the demon prodigy/black wraith of the port mafia

A place to call home :(( this is honestly just background practice lmao

My cheeks hurt from smiling

I want to get in a little practice for writing Kiko (and also i can't get girl dad chuuya out of my head) so here's a little moment of her being a cutie, and a little bit of setting the scene for the big fic

Chuuya x f!Reader, nickname 'angel' used

Divider by @/cafekitsune

"Papa!" A little voice calls out, and Akutagawa will never get used to the way Chuuya's whole demeanour changes when his daughter appears. Both men turn towards the sound, Chuuya's arms already outstretched to catch the little girl barreling towards him. He's smiling, too, and if Akutagawa didn't know better, he would think Chuuya is just another loving father, not one of the most dangerous men in Yokohama. He's ... warmer, softer around the edges when he's with Kiko, and when he's with you - not that he lets many see that side of him.

Kiko throws herself into her fathers' arms, not a hint of hesitation on her face. Chuuya holds her close, cradling her against his body as he turns his attention to you, standing back and watching them with open adoration. Your eyes slide over to him next, and Akutagawa doesn't know what to do with the affection in the smile you send his way.

"Hey angel. Wasn't expecting you; is everything alright?" Akutagawa can see the slight tension in Chuuya's shoulders, and he sees it release when Kiko speaks up, still clinging to her father with one hand clutching his jacket.

"Me and Mama missed you!" Kiko learns around her father to shoot Akutagawa a toothy grin, "Ryuu-kun! See, Mama, I told you we would see him too!"

Your voice is fond as you answer her, and you check she's not looking before rolling your eyes, "Yes, you did, baby." You address him, amusement clear in your voice, "She was very excited to see you."

Punctuating her mother's statement, Kiko starts wriggling in her father's hold, and he sets her down, kissing the crown of her head when her feet are safely on the floor. Moments later, she's wrapped around Akutagawa's leg, talking a mile a minute about everything she's done since the last time she saw him. It's nice, he thinks as he listens to her - there's precious few people who don't treat him with caution, who look past his reputation and see him as more than a weapon.

"Akutagawa." He looks up at Chuuya's call of his name. There's a barely there smile on his face, "Go with them - make sure they're safe."

He knows what this is - Chuuya always makes sure the two of you are well guarded, but there's hardly a need for someone like him to accompany you. It's not like you're defenceless, and there's much better things he could be doing to benefit the Port Mafia. This is for him. He's not sure how he feels about it, but an executive is asking him to do something, so it's not like he can say no. He wouldn't anyway - he can admit to himself that he enjoys spending time with you, and the thought of disappointing Kiko and having her look up at him with big, tear-filled eyes makes him uncomfortable.

Kiko slips her little hand into his as Chuuya says his goodbyes to you; wrapping you in his arms and leaving a gentle kiss on your lips, whispering words for you alone into the space between you. The love between you is palpable, and he averts his eyes.

"Be good for your Mama, Kiko. I'll see you tonight; I love you." Chuuya crouches down to claim one final hug from the little girl. She leans into the hug, pressing a wet kiss to his cheek before pulling away and tugging Akutagawa down the corridor.

She waves behind her without looking, too focused on her next adventure, "I will, Papa! I love you."

The laughter from behind him suggests there will be no rescue from the four year old currently dragging him along, and he finds that he doesn't mind at all.