BSD Chapter 121 – SPOILER / "THEORY"

I finally finished this seen page madness!!! Here’s more of my t4t soukoku au

The next day they went their separate ways and never spoke of it again.

chuuya is not used to seeing a sleeping dazai. Sure he's definitely the person who has seen him like this the most, has helped him as much as he could with his insomnia, has driven him around until he was sleepy, has gotten him his sleeping pills (and kept them far from him only to be accessed through chuuya, thank you very much). However dazai is still an insomniac, so waking up before him and finding him cuddled up on chuuya's chest and sleeping peacefully is rare. This are his favorite mornings, without a speck of a doubt. Not only does this mean that the mackerel is actually resting, it also means that chuuya can stare at his pretty face as much as he wants. And when after a while dazai stirs awake, with his eyes barely open, his hair a mess and his face puffy and sleep warm, chuuya gets cuteness aggression so hard he needs to cover him in kisses and squeeze him real tight

Oneshot -Perhaps in another life. In another time

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Dazai x Reader

TW: mental health problems, suicide, struggling reader, struggling dazai, character death, reader death, angst, no comfort

A/N: I saw this post and felt compelled to write because mood, I honestly feel the same, so uh, this is for you, @r3stingangel

You had met Dazai at a quant cafe below where he worked. You had found your gaze drawn to him. Something about him stood out.

Familiar.

He had caught you staring at him, but he didn't seem mad. He put on a flirtatious mask and walked over to you confronting you about staring. When he drew closer and looked into your eyes, something changed, his mask cracking.

Like he had realized the same thing you had.

Familiarity.

You began visiting that quant cafe more often, letting yourself relax in the presence of someone who understood you.

You came to learn more about each other with each visit, compelling you to continue going. It let you escape from reality for a little while.

The familiarity turned out to be a shared feeling of hopelessness. A shared feeling of purposelessness. Of inadequacy.

Nihilism.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what was under the bandages covering his neck and arms, perhaps even other parts of his body as well. And while you weren't covered in any bandages, you figured he knew you had your own personal scars as well.

Perhaps the biggest difference between you two was his flawless ability to hide behind well-crafted masks. It was something you faintly recall being capable of doing as a child, but now you were simply too exhausted to bother hiding your apathetic nature.

Dazai didn't seem to mind.

After some time of getting to know each other, he invited you to join him at a bar. A place he said held many memories of a time long gone. A time in which he was happy, even if fleeting.

He told you of his two friends, one turned traitor, the other dead.

You remember that night.

Odasaku was the man's name. He took you to his grave that night.

Though no tears were shed you could feel the melancholy surrounding him like an intoxicating aura. Coiling around the two of you like the fog did, seeping into your skin, your bones.

Currently, you were returning his gesture, bringing him to a place that held your happiest memories.

Fleeting as they were.

Before everything in your already difficult life went to absolute shit.

Bills were scattered on your kitchen table, and copies of a resume were among them.

And yet you were currently leading Dazai to a bridge. A beautiful river surrounded on both sides by flowers of all kinds.

It had been your happy place away from your home life where you hung out with your only friend.

You couldn't remember his name. Faint memories of hair so blonde the sun created a halo on his hair. A smile, innocent and youthful. An angel running through flowers in the middle of spring.

Red. Everywhere.

The platinum blonde hair was stained with a garish color.

A warm breeze, telling of the nearing summer shook you from your thoughts as you and Dazai made it to the bridge.

Even at night was it beautiful.

You looked at the man next to you.

He was no angel, far from it.

But perhaps that was why you got along, for you were no angel yourself.

Your hands would forever be stained in the red that seeped through platinum locks of hair.

"It's beautiful." He spoke softly as if to not disturb the calmness of their surroundings.

You smiled looking from Dazai down to the water, to the moon reflecting across in streaks of white. "It is, isn't it?"

Words were meaningless.

Speaking for the sake of speaking.

"My dear belladonna." His sentence left unfinished.

Belladonna's were a beautiful flower.

Poisonous.

"Would you be willing to end our suffering with me, love?" He finished. Words unneeded.

Lovers.

Something you were not.

Perhaps in another life. In another time.

You took his hand.

Moving to sit on the railing of the bridge with him, you looked up at the moon as it stared down, always watching.

You looked at where your hand was intertwined with his then up at his face.

Soft brown curls framed his face in an almost endearing way. Eyes a beautiful brownish burgundy color.

You smiled, genuinely.

He looked at you.

His lips pulled into a genuine smile. He looked tired.

Perhaps you looked the same.

You both closed what little space was left between you.

The kiss was soft. It would've been sweet if not laced with your shared melancholy.

Without breaking the kiss you both slipped off the railing.

💤

⭐️𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬⭐️

Henry Bowers x fem! Reader

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

chapter 4

Chapter summery: first day of school jitters

Word count: 2,793

Estimated read time: 13 minutes

A/N: we are ever so slowly getting closer and closer to what y’all came here for!

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Chapter 3

Oh aren’t you just a ray of sunshine

Bam!

You felt the sting of a fist across your face.

Bam!

Another.

Bam!

And then another.

The hits stopped about when you almost passed out.

They never stopped when you cried. Or when you said please.

You watched your mother get off of you.

Glancing at the blood on your knuckles as she stood, you couldn’t tell if it was hers or yours.

You waited until you heard the door to her and your fathers room lock before you crawled to the door and opened it. Using the door handle as leverage to stand. You wobbled to the mirror to look at yourself. You find yourself bloody and bruised with a black eye already swollen shut and blood coming out of every part of your face.

The phone on your bed rang!

You woke up with a jolt! Heavily panting and breathing. As you tried to figure out where the fuck you were. You were home. Killer was asleep at your feet and Kevin was just downstairs. You were home. You jump out of bed and rush to the closest mirror. You examine your face. It’s fine. Perfectly fine. Not a cut, not a bruise, not even a pimple. You sighed.

You look at the clock by the mirror on your desk to find that it’s only 20 minutes before you were planning on waking up. School starts today. Yippie.

Yesterday Kev didn’t take you into town because there was no reason to. The town was dead. Everyone was focused on getting ready. So you and Kevy sat at home and relaxed. You didn’t need new clothes because no one knew these clothes were actually like 2 years old. You didn’t need to go supply shopping because the teachers would tell you what you needed the first few days of school. When it was starting to get late Kevin suggested you sleep in your own bed with killer to get as much rest as possible. Much to your discomfort. You agreed. You open the blinds to your balcony and sit in your robe against the railing. Soon killer woke up and nudged you with his head. You kissed his stupid face and started to get ready.

You showered the night before so you were clean. You quickly did your makeup and got dressed in some Jeans and a baby blue knitted sweater. You put your hair up into a loose clip and stuffed you work clothes (pantyhose, shorts and a loose band tee with cut neckline so it hung off your shoulder. Along with a cardigan sweater in case you got cold.) into your cloth messenger bag and went downstairs with killer. You quickly fed him and got yourself some juice before going to Kev's room.

“Kevy, I gotta go now” you said quietly.

“There's an old bike with a basket in the farm shed so you don’t have to walk. Don’t let killer out” he grumbled and the turned over to face away from you.

The thought of everything, you smiled to yourself. You locked up the house with killer scratching at the door, before wandering to the farm shed. You found a perfect light blue bike with a wicker basket attached to the front. You wheeled it out, Checked the tires, and once you deemed them good you set your bag in the basket and rode off making sure to lock the property gate. As you rode down the main dirt road you noticed that the pigs police cruiser wasn’t there. But that asshole's blue car was. You didn’t stop and continued riding until you got to the main entrance of Derry high school. You rode your way to the farthest most hidden bike rack and locked up your bike. This rack was more hidden because of how far it was from a usable entrance. There was a door here but it looks to have been blocked off for some reason.

As you are walking back to the main entrance the bell rings.

“Ah fuck” you mumble to yourself before you start jogging to the entrance. You have no fucking idea where your classes are and you don’t know who to ask for help. You get through the front main doors and almost instantly feel eyes on you. You look too old to be a freshman but no one has ever seen you. You stick out. Hell, even the freshmen are looking at you. You are new in town and everyone knows it. You keep your head high and walk around trying to find your first period. You eventually figure out all core classes are coded by hundreds. So your first hour. Chemistry is in the 600 hall. By the time you figure that out, the bell has rung and you are the last person in the halls.

How the fuck is that possible? How do the freshman know where their fucking classes are? You groan and walk to your class. When you go to open the door to room 605 it’s locked. With another groan you knock loudly. You hear the woman’s loud voice inside halt and you hear footsteps stomping over to you. ‘This should be good’ you think to yourself sourly. The door opens and an old large woman greets you.

“Your late” she spits as she gestures you inside, closing the door behind you.

“I know” you reply.

“Why?”

“Excuse me?” You question. What does she mean why? It’s the frist day of school.

“Why were you late?” She repeated bitterly.

“It’s the first day of school” you state and a couple of the kids at the lab benches snort. You are becoming increasingly aware that you and the teacher are standing in front of the class, basically arguing.

“That is no excuse. The class tours were 2 weeks ago. you should have attended” she spits at you once again.

You are getting so frustrated and annoyed with this conversation you want to hit something. You didn’t want to put the spotlight on being the new kid today but it looks like you’ll have to.

“Listen miss. I wasn’t even fully packed to move here 2 weeks ago. I was officially enrolled 5 days ago and just got my schedule 3 days ago. I got lost. May I please sit down?” You snap at her.

She looked surprised at your tone and hurried over to her desk to find a clipboard.

“Ah I’ve found you. It appears the only free seat is with mr Bowers in the back”

All the students tensed. Oh how bad could it be? You walk down the rows to see an empty Seat in the aisle. Shame. You would have loved the window seat to look outside. As you pass the last few students you see the boy sitting in the window seat. He’s really cute. You look at him for a second, scanning him. Brown mullet. Tall. Sleeveless shirt. His arms are crossed and he looks pissed. You sit down before he can notice your staring. Maybe if you get here early next time you can take the window seat. Though he doesn't exactly look nice enough to be beat to a seat. The large woman talks about nothing for about an hour and then the bell rings.

That annoying ass conversation happened with every teacher for the first three periods. You didn’t know where the fuck anything was. This school was weirdly bigger than your last one. Finally it was lunch and all the students were allowed off campus to eat. You hadn’t seen any of those really nice kids from next to the diner yet so you decided to wander around outside. Strangely enough that’s where you saw them. By the bike rack. They saw you too. The girl you remember as Beverly waved you down with a big smile. You jogged over to them and greeted them.

“W-w-we were just ab-b-b-bout to go get some food. Wan-n-n-a come with?” Billy asked.

“Sure!” you replied and they all hopped on their bikes.

Mike was the one to notice you didn’t have one.

“Do you need a ride?” He asked sweetly.

“Oh no I have a bike I just have to go get it. Is that okay with y’all?”

They all nod and you smile and lightly jog away to the hidden bike rack. As you are coming back you hear a commotion. You duck behind a pillar and peek out to look at those kids being picked on. They are being pushed and shoved by a really tall guy, with longish hair, a chubby guy with a hat, a skinny guy with dyed blonde hair, and that cute guy from chem class. You watch as that bowers guy goes up to Bill and licks his palm before smearing it on Bill's face. The boys laugh and get into that blue sports car. Of fucking course. The boys drive off and you run to the others with your bike.

“Are y’all okay? I saw a little of what happened!¿Estás herido?” (Are you hurt?)

Stanley turned to you looking sad. “That was just Bowers and his goons”

Richie chimed in “they fuck with us all the time. Look what they did to Ben here” Richie grabbed the bottom of Ben’s shirt and lifted it up revealing an almost healed cut in the letter H. Ben quickly shoved his shirt back down and glared at Richie. Obviously embarrassed that you saw his stomach less than a day of knowing him.

Eddie pipes up “who cares, they aren’t here anymore and I need to take my meds with food. can we please just fucking leave?”

You wonder if Eddie always seemed this on edge. All of you bike to a nearby food truck and enjoy some bullshit tacos and burgers.

“What class you got next, new kid?” Beverly nudges you with a smile.

“Oh I actually don’t know yet” you pull out your phone to check. “Remedial math 2 in room 108… where the fuck is 108?? I ain’t seen a 100 hall in this fucken school.” You grumble to yourself and Beverly laughs.

“Yeah the map of this place is pretty hard to Learn. I have that class too. So does Richie. We can help you get there.”

“Thank god. All day I’ve had to announce to asshole teachers and their classrooms ‘IM NEW’. Might as well just write on my forehead and call myself the constitution with how I got people lookin’ at me.”you sigh.

“Where are you from? You have an accent.” Stanly asks.

“Oh it pains me that you noticed I have that.” You whine dramatically.

“Don’t worry,” he laughs. “It’s not bad. you can just hear it on certain words”

“I’m from Texas” you answer.

“Oh that totally makes sense” Ben says

“I beg your pardon” you raise your eyebrow at him not sure if you should be offended.

He immediately gets flustered at the thought of making you offended “I don’t mean anything by it I just mean you seem like someone from Texas you know. Kind of intimidating but really really kind…” he trails off.

“He means you have a resting bitch face” Richie proclaimed then took a fat bite of his greasy burger.

Ben immediately tried to defend himself but you started laughing so hard you snorted, making everyone else laugh. you knew you had a resting bitch face. It was just funny to hear how hard Ben tried to dodge saying it.

The group finished their food and you all rode off back to the school. They locked their bikes up then walked you to lock yours. Then Beverly and Richie walked you to class. The teacher gives you an assigned seat in the second to last row all the way to the right. To your displeasure that Bowers guy walked in as you sat down and walked to the seat right behind you with his chubby friend a row ahead and to the left of you and 2 seats to the right of Richie. Thank god Beverly was at the front row and on the complete other side of these assholes. The class continued again with no real topic. The end of class came and as Richie stood to get up the chubby asshole and Bowers made their way to him. grabbing him and pulling him aside. You looked at Beverly and she nodded at you to leave while she took care of it. You felt bad but you did as she said.

The rest of the day flew by and before you knew it school was over. You walked out of school to find some of the group at your secluded little bike rack by the blocked off door. It was Mike , Ben, Beverly and Stanley. you all talked as you waited for the others to meet up there. I guess this was the new spot to dodge the group of dicks running through the school.

Eventually the others come out and give you a quick goodbye as you run back into the school and into a bathroom stall. You take off your jeans and put on your pantyhose then your jeans over them. Just so you aren’t caught naked from the waist down on the way to work. You loved your pantyhose because they had built in shorts. No one would be catching you ass out. You thought to yourself.

You walked out of the bathroom and back to your bike. You rode off the way to work and stopped at the bridge. You had to cross it anyway to get to work and no one was around. why not get changed here? You shed your sweater quickly and get the band tee out of your basket and put it on. Next you took off your shoes and jeans and as fast as you could, slid on your shorts. You slipped on your light black cardigan sweater. Then You threw your shoes in the basket, and rode to the shop without them.

There was one thing you were wrong about. You weren’t alone. There was a blue Trans Am parked just to the side of the bridge in a parking lot you didn’t see.

All the other boys were inside stealing some smokes while Henry Bowers sat in the front seat and watched you.

New girl with a tattoo?

How interesting.

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You hop off your bike and grab your bag. Quickly locking it in the bike rack in front of the store before heading inside.

“Honey I’m home!” You playfully yell. You can almost hear his eye roll from the isle he’s in.

“I’m organizing. Can you manage the front?” He shouts back.

You run to where you hear his voice.

“Only if I can play one of the guitars, I need to relax before I invent my own saw trap out of these vinyls. Make a saw from records and lower myself onto it just to get away from the hick town.” You groan.

“Well aren’t you just a ray of fuckin’ sunshine” He laughs at your dramatics. You always did have a way with words. “Sure, no one is in right now so go crazy.”

You jump with excitement and sprint to the guitars. You find a beautiful pink custom fender electric and take it off the wall. You run over to the front desk, plug it into the amp and begin to play whatever comes to mind.

You missed this.

You know it may seem redundant to think about but you feel so relaxed around Kevin. You feel home. Even if this town sucks and you can’t stand more than a few people. It’s home because he is here. You are playing guitar while he organizes like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like he never left. Like momma is sitting at home waiting for y’all to barge in and distract her from her rewatch of Jersey shore. Like Issac is sitting in his room playing video games. You know they aren’t though. That burns deep in your chest. But you and Kevin have each other. That’s all y’all need for now.

“I love that song” Kevin quips at you from the floor of aisle 2.

You hadn’t realized but you began playing some dumbass dad Rock song. It was the rock version of Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Hill. You continue to play with a smile. That was before some people came in and immediately started roughhousing around record players. Kevin got up and walked to you with an empty crate in hand.

“You deal with these freaks. You don’t know how to sort yet and I really gotta get this done.”

You nod and continue strumming to the song in your head.

He smiles and walks to the back room where killer is sleeping. You turn down the volume of the amp to see the boys, Who you only now recognize as the Bowers gang, huddled together by the CD’s.

‘Oh fuck’ you internally groan. This is gonna fucking suck.

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Hope you liked it!!

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BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

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Soukoku

What if Chuuya is so attached to Dazai because he knows that, if Dazai dies there will be no one in the world who can stop his corruption and the damage it might do to himself and others. So he risks everything he can to save Dazai, even if it risks his own life, because if Dazai dies, the sense of self and humanity Chuuya has will diminish and he'll be lost forever.

We've seen how insane Chuuya's corruption makes him. How he despises doing it, and *yet*, we still see, that when he knew Dazai may be dead (during the fight with Fyodor), it didn't matter. He has a sense of protection over Yokohama, he used his corruption regardless because it was the only thing that could kill the dragon. And even in his corrupted state, he sought out Dazai and fought to save him. It didn't matter if his corruption killed him in the process, because if Dazai was truly dead, Chuuya would die anyway.

Chuuya fought a literal DRAGON to find Dazai. They work so well together and know each other so fucking well, that Chuuya knew, Dazai would most likely have that pill in his mouth. He knew exactly what to do. And even in his corrupted state Chuuya seemed so much more steady when he actually *found* Dazai. Chuuya can recognise Dazai and the safety he provides him, even when he can't control himself.

He literally placed *all bets* on a man he claims to hate. And time and time again he puts his life in Dazai's hands.

Because no matter how much he acts as though he hates the man, his entire life, career, and survival, rests in Dazai's hands. And the trust they have in each other, even on opposing sides, never wavers. Even if they work for organisations which oppose, Dazai and Chuuya are *never* enemies.

Munch that orca, Chuuya

Oni Chuuya