I feel like Tomura would have a lot of anxiety when it comes to death. Not his own death, but the death of those he cares about.
Like if you’re a little too quiet or too still as you sleep he’s going to check to see if you’re alive.
He needs to hold you so he can feel you breathing. He needs to lay his head on your chest so he can hear your heart beating.
He’s lost so many people and he’s lost all comfort that once he finds solace in you, he’s terrified he’s going to lose you too.
—the black dog
pairing: theo nott x fem!reader
summary: the war awakes something in theo you hadn't thought was even there. you battle with your feelings of heartbreak, while you try to forget his everlasting presence in your life
warnings: mentions of death, grief, pain and torture. canon typical violence. this is very much heartbreak through and through
note: this isn't exactly what you asked for but your request inspired me to write this. i feel like it was important to highlight the complicated relationship that theo and reader resulted in because of the war.
theo and draco are cousins in this.
"would you please just talk to me?" you screamed. he had been acting weird for a few days now.
at first you hadn't thought anything of it, not at the beginning. it had started with draco, who had been strange since the school year started, staying behind when the rest of you would go somewhere or disappearing in the middle of dinner.
you had tried talking to him, you had grown closer over the time you and theo were together. you had quickly realized that it was hard for draco to build relationships, partly because he wasn't sure how and partly because he was scared of being left.
you had done a pretty good job at showing him that you were going nowhere and that he, even if theo and you should break up one day, would still be your friend.
you had thought that it had something to do with his parents. he didn't mention them often and you had only met them once, during a visit to the manor for a festivity during the winter break of the fifth year. you admitted that you didn't know them well, but it was easy enough for you to judge narcissa malfoy and the connection she had to her son. the love that kept her from ever risking something happening to him.
whatever was going on with him, his mother was well informed and probably already searching for a solution.
but draco had made it clear to you that he wanted to be left alone and you didn't push him to tell you more, just comforted him whenever he would let you or pansy.
his weird behavior had been a constant throughout the entire year, until the point where it had influenced mattheo and enzo to act just as suspiciously and if you thought it couldn't get worse, you had been wrong.
"i can't" theo muttered between clenched teeth, and you tried to look at his face as he frantically turned away from you.
"is it about harry? is it about something he said to draco? did he say something to you?"
harry and the rest of your gryffindor friends were normally a topic you strictly avoided when in company of the slytherins and especially draco. you didn't agree on the childish rivalry they had going on and rather just kept out of that. but now that you thought about it, harry had been acting just as strange as draco had since the beginning of the year.
"potter doesn't matter, y/n" theo pressed his hands on both your shoulders, scaring you with the look on his face.
"let me help you, love" you tried to not let it affect you, to not let the fear shine through your voice and honestly, you weren't scared of him, but of what would happen to the boy you loved so desperately it felt like breathing.
"you can't" theo shook his head. "but you have to get ouf of the castle immediately, promise it to me"
"what? why should i--"
"you have to promise it" theo repeated louder, desperate and teary eyed as he stared at you like you had already died.
the threatening war had made it harder to overlook the differences between you and the slytherins. you were a pureblooded witch, but definitely didn't share the same views about blood purity your friends did.
"okay" you cooed, taking him into your arms. "i promise, i promise anything you want"
theo didn't leave much room for questions when he told you to get off the hogwarts grounds and apparate home to your parents a few minutes later. you were scared and confused, as you watched the fear in his eyes flame up at whatever was coming. there was something he was not telling you and it simply broke your heart, knowing that he had to go through it alone.
you weren't sure what took over you, when you heard a familar laugh, one that was so earth shattering and haunting, you couldn't help but dash back into the castle, despite what you had promised your boyfriend, his name repeating over and over again in your mind.
you took two stairs at once, sprinting up the tower, wand in hand and ready to jump to theo's defense.
"you made mummy so proud, boys" bellatrix said and you wanted to throw up at the tone in her voice. you could just imagine enzo and mattheo, or what was left of them, looking at their mother, not one bit of love or familiarity on their face. just fear.
before you could climb the rest of the stairs, a hand grabbed you, pulling you to the side, behind old school supplies. the persons other hand was pressed onto your mouth and your eyes grew big until you noticed harry, stoic expression, not amused at seeing you.
"harry" you muttered relieved.
"what are you doing here?" harry whispered, not caring for the fear in your voice or the intent you had had coming up here in the first place.
before you could answer, bellatrix spoke once again.
"your boy has surely made you proud too, nott" she giggled. "just like our draco will make his parents in just a few minutes"
your eyes went up to the floor above you like your own name had been called. it wasn't even theo she had called by the name and still you could just imagine his slumped down shoulders and sickly expression. the same he had been spotting these past few days.
harry watched you closely, as if to make sure you would keep quiet, before his eyes turned back up too.
“do it” bellaxtrix hissed at draco, who had raised his wand at dumbledore.
harry and you exchanged glances, before he too, raised his wand. you gripped on his arms tightly, shaking your head at him.
“we can’t” you mouthed.
“dumbledore” harry whispered. you shook your head again, tears spilling over your cheeks.
your eyes left harry and wandered back through the floorboards. you couldn’t see theo, enzo, and mattheo, but draco was clearly shaking in fear and you couldn’t help but be worried about him.
“draco” bellaxtrix encouraged once more “do it!”
“he’s not brave enough, bellatrix” notts voice rang out sounding as triumphantly as possible. you heard movement on the floor, a pair of dark shoes stepping forward and you wondered what nott was planning to do, when your heart suddenly stopped beating.
“avada kedavra” a voice muttered, wand raised and aimed at dumbledore, who fell backwards so slowly as if time had stopped.
harry gripped your arm, your body still frozen, as your eyes stayed focused on notts shoes. theodore notts shoes. not his father. theo, your theo.
theo had just killed dumbledore.
one part of you wanted to scream, jump into the open and scream at him or bellatrix or all the people a few steps above you, but the other part, the unstoppable dread, was aching to hide away from all of it, to just go and never come back.
how could you ever look at him again after what you had just witnessed? would he still be the same after he had done something like this? you couldn’t. he wouldn’t. your heart ripped open.
“y/n” harry whispered, pushing you back to hide the both of you behind some old astronomy maps. footsteps descended down the stairs and out of the tower and you felt like you could breathe again once he had left.
you sank to your knees immediately. harry still watched the space around you, not sure if you were entirely safe yet.
someone ran up the stairs. harry tried grabbing you to push you back behind the old things, to shield you from whoever was coming back and trying to finish the job.
it was snape and harry felt relieved for the first time upon seeing the teacher. he didn’t fully trust him, but dumbledore did. also, snape was a far better option than any of the death eaters.
snapes eyes jumped between harry and you on the ground, before they turned to look up the stairs.
“they’re gone” harry said, voice raised to drown out your sobbing, before he bent down once more and helped you back onto your feet. he pulled you close, to bring you comfort and shield your tear spilled face from snape's penetrating gaze.
harry wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but he could almost see a bit of pity in snape’s eyes, when the man watched you stand on your shivering legs, only held up by harry, as if your body was too heavy to stand on it’s own.
it was just suddenly that the meaning of snape's presence painted a clear picture in your mind. narcissa malfoy hadn't found a solution, no she had found something that was even better: a substitute, someone to step in, when draco would ultimately fail upon the task he had been given.
and tiberius nott had done the same, only that he had proudly sold out his son instead of sparing his life.
you threw off harry’s arms, walking across the room, step by step, until you were standing in front of the teacher, ready to bash his head in.
“you are too late” you cried, not caring if spit or tears or anything else fell onto his robes. you stabbed a finger to his chest. “it’s your job to help. why didn’t you help him?” you cried.
snape furrowed his brows in confusion. “draco?” he asked in his normal tone, but a little bit of surprise broke through. just like you had thought. not even snape had held draco for capable of fulfilling his task.
you shook your head. slowly, bitterly. It was unfair that you had to say his name, that you had to recapture the event like a missed quidditch game, that snape had been late enough to miss it, but perfectly on time to watch your life fall apart.
you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. couldn’t even mutter the name that had been the most beautiful thing to you these past years, there was nothing left. no meaning behind those letters and still you couldn’t do it. “nott” you said.
it was over.
“nott?” snape repeated, as if he was daring you to finally say what you had been dreading.
“junior” harry muttered. you turned your head at him and he looked down on his shoes, as if he was ashamed you had heard him.
“surprisingly unexpected” snape noted, like you had been discussing the weather.
“what?” you muttered, your voice strained.
“y/n” harry said softly and you could hear him coming closer. you broke apart from snape, slapping his hand away when he tried reaching for your arm in an unusual caring manner.
“you failed him” you spit at him, before you stormed out of the tower, harry hot on your heels.
bellaxtrix and the rest of the deatheaters, were jumping down the grass path to hagrids hut. following behind them were draco, enzo, mattheo and finally theo, who stepped out of the castle as last.
they had probably strolled through the halls, bringing their inevitable destruction into the home you had grown to love and cherish.
harry and you had watched them from the side of the entryway, dried tears on your cheeks and the anger taking over the pain that had tightened your chest. you loved him, but you couldn't believe that he had had no choice.
killing someone was not debatable.
you had watched in susprise when theo had not been there with them, but your surprise had been quickly taken over by even more anger, when he finally strolled through the door, hands in his pockets, like he was talking a late evening stroll.
your hand wept forward without so much as a thought, gripping the material of his tie and yanking him back.
theo made a gurgling sound, briefly breathless, and it was only his surprise that allowed you to measure up enough strength to effectively pull him back. that and your anger.
harry helped you as he pushed theo against the wall, wand at his throat.
theo took a big breath as soon as you let go of his tie, his eyes widened in surprise as he completely ignored harry and only looked at you, your face cast with shadows of the darkness in the creeping night and the regret that was so evident it only pained him further.
"didn't i tell you to go home?" it didn't surprise you that there was still a hint of superiority in his voice, even if it had faltered tremendously.
"you knew about all of it, didn't you?" you asked instead.
"y/n" theo sighed, in a tone as if he was inspecting a failed task for a homework you hadn't been able to finish. "i can explain"
"i don't think you should" you muttered and you were doing your best to not let the look of helplessness that now entered his face break your heart any further. "i just think i speak for the both of us, when i say that it's over"
"y/n" theo pleaded, pushing against harry's hold to try and reach for you. you stepped back and harry pushed the tip of his wand deeper into theo's neck.
you shook your head, not having it in you to look at him, before you turned around. "do what you have to do" you left the two of them alone, knowing that harry was just waiting to punish theo for killing one of the most important people to him.
you couldn't muster up the courage to even care about what would happen to him. your anger at snape had evaporated as fast as it had come. theo had it in him to kill and snape's late arrival changed nothing about that.
the person you had loved died together with the headmaster.
everything had been lost the moment he had muttered the curse, leaving behind a hurricane of feelings in your heart, but no one left to love in this world.
you did not waste another thought for him, pushing his name so far away from your mind, you almost forgot about him completely.
but a three-year relationship wasn't just consisting of memories, but of habits too and you found yourself thinking about possibilities in the dead of night.
possibilities that you had thought to be endless before, but of which was only one left now.
what if theo hadn't killed dumbledore?
your friends were clearly worried about you. hermione and ginny never left you alone during your stay in the burrow or during the nights, which had to have been the most haunting. the time were you most experienced his loss, as nightmares were plaguing your mind and fear was taking over your senses, feeling like you had made a mistake with theo. even if your friends and the weasleys said something different.
it was the same restlessness that lead to you following hermione, ron and harry on an adventure that was trying to fulfill an impossible task.
but there was no hope left if you didn't at least try what had been asked of you and you were smart enough to realize that.
even though you were always together, the time you were on the road seemed to be the most lonely you had ever felt and you found yourself thinking more about theo than you had wanted to.
none of your friends dared to say anything to you the next morning, when you would call out his name in your dream, always asking yourself what had happened, and if he was even still alive.
your question was answered in a different way than you had liked, when your group was discovered by deatheaters and brought back to malfoy manor, where not only draco and the malfoys, but theo was staying too.
you hadn't seen him at first, down in the dungeon. but surely they had come to get hermione, bringing her back a few hours later, scarred and crying for mercy as she fell into ron's arms.
it took another hour to call for the other female friend of harry potter.
"the other?" you could draco's voice ask when you were dragged up the stairs and through the halls.
"what other?" it was theo's voice that was now speaking, fear and dread overweighing the curiosity.
the door flew open and five people turned around to gain a look at you.
narcissa and lucius malfoy were sitting in obnoxious chairs, spotting similiar looks of surprise and interest.
bellatrix was hanging over the back of narcissa's chair. her hands pressing down on her younger sister's shoulders, squeezing them as if she was excited.
narcissa suddenly seemed less content, as she heard the similar gasps coming from her sons and nephew's mouths.
draco and theo were staring at you wide-eyed. their faces pale and painfully twisted as they recalled what had happened with harry potter's other friend just hours before.
"oh" bellatrix quirked up when the unknown death eater threw you to the floor and theo and draco dashed forward at the same time to try and catch you, before they were held back by the black haired witch. "do you happen to know her?"
your eyes were fixated on the doors behind you, which fell close with a loud thud as the deatheater who had brought you disappeared.
"no" draco and theo mustered up to stutter at the same time.
you send a glare across the room. it meant nothing, those two were only shells of the boys you had once known. but the innocence had been drained from them like a well run dry in a relentless drought.
"what are we going to do with you?" bellatrix smiled, stepping away from the chair and walking around your body on the floor.
narcissa reached for theo's arm, when he was about to drag bellatrix away from you.
you averted your eyes. not giving her the satisfaction to see the fear in them.
bellatrix looked through your act immediately. "she's a tough one" she noted and her expression of admiration changed to a malicious grin as she saw theo close his eyes.
"you do it" she laughed excitedly, stepping forward and pulling theo into the middle of the room.
"bellatrix, please" narcissa said, not even bothering to stand up and stop her sister from her attempt.
"what, cissy?" bellatrix asked. "you don't think she should be punished for stealing?"
"stealing what?" your voice made bellatrix turn around dramatically.
"would you look at that!" she gushed "the girl can speak!"
"yes" you nodded "and the girl can even tell you that she stole nothing"
"lie" bellatrix giggled and you had to admire her persistence, while the playful tone in her voice kept you on edge, always waiting for the moment she would break into an insanely loud scream.
you had heard not only hermione's cries, but bellatrix' screams from the dungeon. that gave a measure to how loud she was able to scream. and how she could torture until there was nothing left of the person you had once been.
"atta boy!" bellatrix encouraged theo, as she pushed him closer, until he was standing just a few feet from your body.
you wouldn't beg for their mercy. you would die without feigning any regret. if bellatrix really thought you stole something from her, you were glad she was torturing you instead of harry, who was much more important for everything coming after.
you could afford to die so early into the war. you were of no importance for the safety of the wizarding world.
you looked up at theo. the blue of his eyes mixed together with the tears that were already spilling over the edges.
"it shouldn't be hard" you said, voice hoarse and strained. you had been apart for almost ten months and he was still creating a lump in your throat, he was standing for everything that had been lost.
theo exchanged a glance with draco, almost as if begging him to take his place.
"bellatrix, this is madness" narcissa said, a bit stricter now, as if her simple words could really change the mind of someone who had already decided to embrace the madness her sould had been corrupted by.
"oh, cissy" bellatrix giggled "how will he learn? just another step on the path he must take to be granted the honour of the dark lord"
"do it" you said to theo, ignoring what bellatrix was babbling about.
"i can't—“ theo looked back at narcissa, talking to her rather than you.
"do it!" you repeated, louder this time.
"she even wants him to" bellatrix noted, clear amusement in her voice. she was almost excited to find out more about the conflict between you and her nephew.
"she's a pureblooded witch" theo turned to bellatrix, now trying to convince her himself. "she's one of us"
"i'm not" you protested, but bellatrix ignored you, stepping forward and touching theo's cheek softly with the pocket knife that she had taken from her robes, dripping in blood. hermione's blood probably.
"i thought you didn't know her" bellatrix mused "but the knowledge about her blood status suggests otherwise" theo gulped and before he was ready to say something, bellatrix has dragged the weapon across his cheek with one quick gesture, leaving a bleeding cut.
theo looked down quickly, as if to hide his injury from you, but he hadn't missed the gasp of air you had taken, scared that the woman had planned to kill him.
bellatrix stepped back next to her sister. "go on boy, don't make auntie bella angry" she threatened, playing with the knife in her hand.
not even narcissa dared to say something.
"just kill me" you told theo, when he raised his eyes to look at you once more, wand still losely hanging to the side. "you know how to"
"y/n" theo muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.
"it doesn't matter" you shook your head. "just do it" you closed your eyes, ready for the stream of the green curse to take over your body and future.
theo did not raise his wand.
"kill me" you said loudly, unforgiving, almost screaming. you opened your eyes to look at your tormentors. apart from bellatrix none of them looked like they were particularly enjoying what was happening.
bellatrix’s eyes gleamed with a twisted satisfaction as if she was savoring the power she held over theo. narcissa’s face was a portrait of conflicted emotions, torn between her loyalty to her sister and her love for her son and nephew. lucius’s gaze darted nervously between the scene unfolding before him, as if hoping for some resolution to the madness. draco was crying and trying to swallow the breaths that were tempting him to throw up right on his aunt's feet.
and theo? theo was rather keen on killing himself than doing you any harm.
you were less forgiving. "kill me like you killed dumbledore!" you screamed, tears falling on the floor in front of you, as your voice echoed off the cold stone walls. the anger in your voice was raw, pure, and unfiltered. theo flinched at the words, his face paling further, if that was even possible. the weight of your demand seemed to crush him, making it even harder for him to act.
you were so indescribably angry. but not at what he had done to you, but rather what he had done to himself. and that in it alone was the reason you would never forgive him.
he had ruined what you had loved. he had killed the person you had loved the most and you had nothing left to care about what would happen to you.
maybe it was his punishment that he had to be the one to kill or torture you.
theo’s grip on his wand faltered as he looked at you with a mixture of horror and heartbreak. he seemed to be struggling not just with what he was being asked to do, but with the shattered remnants of the person he used to be.
bellatrix’s patience wore thin, her frustration evident as she waved her wand dismissively. “enough of this pathetic display,” she sneered, her voice dripping with venom. “the boy is clearly too weak for this task.”
“no!” theo shouted, his voice cracking. “i can’t— i won’t—” his wand dropped to the floor, clattering against the stone with a finality that seemed to reverberate through the room.
the room erupted into chaos as bellatrix’s fury reached its peak. she turned on theo with a rage that was almost as palpable as your own pain. narcissa tried to intervene, her voice pleading, but it was clear that the darkness had already taken hold.
but before she was able to mutter a curse, to torture or kill theo right in front of your eyes, harry, ron and hermione came running in the room, wands raised they started firing spells.
it took you a moment longer to get up. you and theo held eye contact, the boy just a crumpled mess on the floor in front of you. you reached out your hand and took his wand, disarming bellatrix, who began screaming.
the fight was short and unforgiving as the malfoys were throwing spells. draco was struggling to keep up with harry's quick movements and theo did not even make an attempt to stand up. instead he kept his eyes trained on you.
dobby appeared suddenly, calling you to him to bring you to safety, after he had let a chandelier fall onto bellatrix who had held a knife to hermione's throat.
you stepped forward once more, kneeling in front of theo, who looked up at you with curiosity, just hoping you would be taking him with you.
"i will never forgive you" you muttered instead and all hope left his face and heart. you healed the cut on his cheek with a move of his own wand. "you should've killed me and maybe i could've been able to"
you did not look back again as you ran across the room to your friends. you just left him there, on the ground in malfoy manor, as you took dobby's hand and followed your friends into the uncertain.
one heart shattering realisation left with you that day.
theo's gaze would haunt your nightmares. but the possibility of his death would haunt your dreams, as you could only forgive him if he didn't survive.
TW: description of yandere mentalities and actions (obsession, possessive tendencies, stalking, etc)
Tags: Yandere! Batfam x reader
Bruce Wayne: The Epitome of a Hero
Batman without fail has proven himself a near-perfect hero, impressive for the fact that he's first generation and had tackled Gotham's cursed land. But obviously, as with any being on earth, the stress of the facade weighs on him. The stretch between the isle of Bruce Wayne and the Scowl of Batman no longer cut clean. They blur and tear at him ravenously until he sometimes feels he is nothing but a ghost of obsession, of a boy in the middle of an alley with his parent's blood puddled around his knees.
Bruce, in essence, needs something to define himself, he is a man who cares for his partners painfully (each robin has chiseled a part of himself out) and yet he cannot choose them over his city (over his villains). He has nobody else to define who he is, he is nothing without them and as much as he loves being their father the cowl is the only thing he has left of what was once an unbreakable will
The darling plays a sort of anchor, a guide, a definition that Bruce can cling onto. For Bruce who cannot say confidently that he can live truly as either a civilian or a hero without regret, his darling is all he has to cling to. For even should he forsake his sacred code that defines him, forsake his morals that he clings to, and go off the deep end never to return he can still manage to drench himself in you.
You're in his bones, his flesh, and on his lips at all times of the night and day, the cowl and fatherhood are at his core and as they conflict, chipping away at him and forcing him into nothing but a broken mess you seep into the cracks and fill him up until all of him is nothing but you, you, you. Your scorn, your praise, all of what you say, you're what he can finally define himself off of.
It doesn't matter if your nails drag into his skin as a punishment, or even if you carve your woes into his flesh with a knife. He will take them as his law all the same he will revere your kisses, your soft touches, and your smiles. His unbreakable will is nothing in the end as long as he has you.
You have him in the palm of his hand, your word is law, you define who he is with your mood, whether he is a failure and must strive to be better or whether he can finally rest is all up to you.
Even from a young age when childhood should have been grass stains and scraped knees, Dick has always known an audience's eyes and dizzying heights. He knows his role, his actions and his expressions are all being watched, and taken into account and he knows best how to play the role of the easily lovable. Responsibility and acting all of this have been him forever, he's a natural at it. Basically, its second nature for him to mold himself into the one everyone likes, he knows the script and he plays it well
Richard Grayson: The golden boy
His entire life has been a role, something that he has to put his all into acting, the perfect robin, the leader of the titans, the leader of the young justice league, Nightwing-the vigilante who garners the respect of heroes and law alike. It is a tightrope walk of never-ending smiles and actions and if he slips it all comes crashing down and he cannot risk it. If he bows to the weight on his shoulders, even if it's all too much he has far too much to lose. Of course, he loves being loved, and he genuinely does love his family, loves his pseudo father and his little brothers and his friends but he knows who they love and it might not be him as a person.
The darling for him is a slow burn. a t first their a sort of self-fulfillment, just a little fix of appreciation from his favorite person, but the more he visits them, the more he drops some prefixes, is able to be a little rougher around the edges he gets lost in it, the brunt of his feelings finally flooding out from the cracks in his perfect facade and you're his addiction. He needs you to need him, to like him, to adore him he needs you to approve of who he is without the flashing lights and cameras. It's a strange mix of needing your approval to prove that he's still balancing, that the weight hasn't yet managed to take hold and drag him down, and needing you to see the fact that he is a broken grieving man. He's been used and weaponized and he just needs to know that outside of that Richard Grayson is still useable, love him outside of his role, be his everything meld your existence into his he's begging you
It comes to a point that he can almost no longer separate where you begin and where he ends, and he's never felt so intoxicated, so in love, because if love isn't the way he can barely focus, his brain clouding over and the way he basically turns into an animal for you, your loyal little dog he doesn't know what could possibly count. As long as he has your praise, your approval, and your need for him he's a brainless pet. Just love him, love him, love him or he might finally fall.
What many forget about the second robin is though he is the robin who crosses the lines others won't, the one who sees things to a more permanent end, Jason is the one who is more in tune with his emotions. They overwhelm him and lead him more than rationality but Jason has emotions, he bares his heart on his sleeve, and others are simply too blind to see it. Perhaps it's because of this strange self-awareness, of how fucked he is, how broken he is that he cannot delude himself in the same way his family does. He cannot seem to meld himself with you(how could something like him even think of being one with someone like you), but he's so desperate for the connection.
Jason Todd: The monster
In comparison to the other robins, Jason understands that he is replaceable. It's so easy to swap him out with any other broken street rat, hell he might even argue it would be an improvement. He's watched Gotham from its sewer, eyes glancing over crime alleys streets from broken street lights as a child, how women were beaten into submission by men with too much audacity and beer on their breath, how good men would be turned to corpses and looted, how children stood on corners and Gotham nods her head because his city is nothing it not vile and rotten in its core
He has known death intimately and hates life just a little bit more because there isn't anything he can feel truly justifies how Gotham lets the sewage and filth thrive. He's never had the luxury of childhood, of the safety of a child's innocence because he's aware that life isn't a gift, it's a cesspool of sin prepping souls on earth for hell. There's nothing good, but there are people who need protection from it and Jason goes about his days repenting for existing because there's no divinity, no god other than the men who see themselves on the top of the chain. There's no god before you.
His darling is a light, something near untouchable, someone who can do no wrong. Jason is the type of delusional where he can justify every single thing Darling can ever say or do, say the skies green and he’ll rearrange the dictionary just to prove you right. You in a sense define what is good or evil, something invaluable, something so good that they could even pity him. A benevolent deity bestowed open Gotham and he'd be damned if he let anything from the street touch you. Jason is the robin who came back wrong, the killer, the monster, the black sheep of the family of maniacs who want better from the world, and he's disgusting but he'll do anything for you.
In a sick way, he already knows well how his presence is painfully unworthy of you, but he longs, craves, and hungers for you all the same. He's reverent in his treatment. If he cannot connect with you by becoming one he'll be your loyal slave, your servant to the ends of the earth, his hands are already stained but even his own sins become virtues if there for you. He lives and breathes on you, everything he does is for you until the dead bodies piling his work are but offerings, sacrifices all for you. Carve a place in your body for him to reside, for him to leash himself upon so he can hide and forever more belong to you. A Divine and their monster acolyte.
Tim is a being born of neglect, constant patronization, rejection, and scorn. His only sense of motivation had been at first obsession without a sense of preservation. Tim has always known nothing but a world where he has to be able to provide to earn his right to stay, to exist. He knows intimately what it's like to be looked through, to be invisible, to have his own name replaced with another, or to have never been born, so like money he exchanges himself and all his actions in a transactional way. Every relationship for him is a simple give and take, he gives them what they want, and they let him stay and remember his name. As long as Tim is functioning and working he can't be thrown away, can't be truly invisible. As long as he is working he is kept.
Tim Drake: The Forgotten
Tim is smart, he knows how to run the table, and play the game and he does it well, he knows exactly how to pick apart everyone around him. Tears into them and learns, absorbs, and sees what they need, how he needs to act, what he needs to provide, and remakes himself for the sake of their approval. From the constant twists and turns of his character, Tim knows how to seek out the role, how to play it, how to thrive in it, Tim sees everything, and thus he is left feeling empty because nobody sees him. Something carnal in him screams for something, anything to tear him apart as well, to meet his obsession with their own.
His darling is someone who he needs to ruin him, he needs them to dissect him, to cut him up and tear away everything and covet his entrails. He's begging you to tear away at him, until Red Robin is nothing until Drake Wayne is but a far away title, and see him, see Time in all he is. Obsessive, disgusting, and desperate. He needs his darling to keep digging even as they see this and decide he's good enough to continue unraveling, to rip him open and keep something of him in your pocket.
As is apparent the relationship with his darling is almost masochistic in a way, with a clear power dynamic but what is to be noted is that while he is desperate he will never truly give up control. He knows when he is being manipulated, but he thrives on it, that you've picked him apart and have decided him worthy to manipulate, you get what he allows but he allows a lot for you. He wants his darling to devour him whole, to stitch themselves into a Frankenstein monster just as he has with them. Take on his mannerisms, remember his coffee order, his eye color, anything. He'd thrive just knowing they have a photo of him somewhere in their pocket. (as if it equates to the massive amounts of video he has on you, the photos, the cameras, the trackers, the microphones, the bugs, and chips)he just needs you to know who he is. He needs you to prove that Timothy Drake truly exists.
What most cannot see off the bat due to confident words and even more confident actions is that the most familiar feeling Damian is acquainted with is unsurity. He is a being born with a purpose, and the purpose was not to be human, it was to be heir, to be a leader to be everything that he needed to be. His life is a mix of criteria he needs to meet, of missions and proving himself and needing to be perfect, needing the validation of praise and a good grade. He is the heir of a league of assassins and yet he can no longer kill, he is the protege of a notorious hero and yet he contemplates lethality for too much, day in and day out Damian defines himself by this conflict and with true humanity alluding him, he cannot tell truly who he is.
Damian Wayne: The heir
The source of his need for competency comes from fear of inadequacy. Because if he cannot fit the criteria given, if he cannot prove himself worthy then does he even have the right to exist? When he has been born for a role he can no longer call his own, where does that leave him? Lost, he's lost and wandering and he thinks something is rotting in him. It plagues him, the fact that Damian Wayne is a leader, son, brother,heir but not human.
His darling in his case plays the role of safe haven, a little home in the form of flesh and blood where he can bury himself alive. He needs the surety they bring, there is no throne, no rubric or evaluation, there is only their own eyes and lips and Damian's own heart in their hands. They are his humanity, if Damian is a role then they are his wants and needs, they are his tears and very heart, he's sure if he could tear his chest open his darling would be there, cradled precisely within his ribs. In their arms Damian feels so painfully useless that he remembers he too has lungs that need air, that he too has basic needs, he feels helpless and ragged and he thinks that this sort of helplessness can be nothing but love.
Darling is living proof that Damian Wayne has something to himself outside of Robin, outside of al-Ghul, and outside of his last name. He is flawed, he sleeps and dreams and cries and is so very weak. He eats from the palm of your hand, everything that makes him disgustingly weak, mortal, he's putty in your hands, even if you were to feed him poison he would drink greedily. The thought of death, the foe that drove his grandfather to the pits over and over again, feels no harder than a feather brush with your arms around him.
Alfred: extra
Apologies
He is far too old to fancy himself a darling, and far too sensible to feel infatuation as strongly as his wayward family but he can care, and he can love and he would do anything for his family as he always has
Of course, he feels bad, lucid as he is he can see how they covet you, how they stress you and pull you so thin you might disappear but he cannot let you go, he hopes you forgive him.
He does pity you, is fond of you and your softer nature in the cave of monsters that lurk around for you as their sole prey and he’ll protect you as much as he can but ever since they've had you the manor has a bit lighter and they've smiled so much more he cannot truly let you go
He’ll provide everything but freedom, he'll coddle you through the transition and until he too must take his place in a grave but he begs of you to stay by his family of beasts
You're his only hope
Author's Note: Dipping my toes back into writing - if this seems familiar it's because it's a reupload! I was previously known as lovesick laboratories but my mental health took a nose dive but I'm back!
Tags: yandere batfam, yandere dc, yandere batfam x reader, bruce wayne x reader, dick grayson x reader, jason todd x reader, tim drake x reader, damian wayne x reader
If this post reached 1k I'll literally promise yall a toe curling, back arching, lip biting angst of this story🙏TRUST
Yandere batfam x neglected reader
So, pack up your car, put a hand in your heart, sing what ever you feel, be wherever you are
We ain't angry at you love. ⋆·˚ ༘ *
The pain of the neglected soul. Under the heavy mood lingering in the manor. An architectural design that screams wealth but is never wealthy with love and laughter. well, at least not to the second youngest child of Bruce Wayne, the billionaire playboy, the most powerful man in Gotham City. Being a product of a mistake between an infamous prostitute and a well-known, almost "celebrity"-like man was not really an ideal life. Being shunned away by the woman who you call Mom, who's supposed to whisper sweet words to you and rock your fragile body back and forth to ease you of whatever you feel bad about, instead shoves you into the arms of an unknown man who's your supposed father. Yeah, that sucks.You've always adored your mom. Despite the horrible words she casually whispers to you - "you ruined me, kid"—you turn a blind eye to her actions and act deaf to her cruel words and instead pretend that she's the mom who loves you and adores you just as much as you do for her. Because it was better. It just was. Your brain can't really process the fact that your abusive mother can be abusive. No, not when she was the one who carried you for 273 days, birthed you, and gave you your name. A 5-year-old's brain can't possibly carry the thought of having that same woman hate you. So even when it was your birthday, you waited for her all day to come home and give you kisses and maybe a birthday cupcake or present. just for once, she comes home drunk, messy, and dizzy with a man on her arms while laughing feverishly. It crazy to think that was the most happiest you've seen her; she was always scowling when she was with you. Strange. Even so you greet her with a hug. "Momma, I've been waiting for you all day—" she cuts you off and tells you to get away from her and calls you this strange name "annoying" huh. Wonder what that means. And for the next hours you spend your birthday alone, in your bedroom. Awake and hungry. But it doesn't matter at least mom came home! Sometimes she doesn't even come home for a few days, but she came home today! That means she must love you. Only for a few days she stays at home with the strange man she brought home on the day of your birthday. It doesn't bother you, it was normal after all. She always do this and then after a few days the man's gone. Yeah, this is just temporary. You say as you clean the house full of dirty clothes and empty alcohol bottles. And then one night the strange man is yelling at your mom; screams filled the tiny apartment with smashing sounds of bottles echoing around the room. You're furious, and you want to defend the woman who you oh so lovingly call "mother" You push the man away, and it angers him. With his bloodshot eyes, he grabbed the bottle and smashed it at the side of your tiny head. You soon wake up in a large room with bright lights and thick white walls. Soon you find out that you're in a hospital; its so cool, it's the size of your living room! Maybe even bigger… Moments later you found out that your mother gave you up to some unknown man who is to be called your "father.". You thrash and scream against the nurse's hold and scream for your mommy, yet she never came.A strange man came and introduced himself. He said he was "Alfred" and said from now on he will take care of you. That's silly because no one in your entire life has had someone take care of you. Soon he drives you to a gloomy big house with lots of statues as Alfred proceeds to tell you that this will be your new home now. Different portraits adorn the walls, and shiny pottery and impressive works of art fill the house. Alfred soon introduced you to your father, Bruce Wayne. Now this is where it all starts. With your new home, hope sparked through your heart, and you believed that somehow, someway, maybe you'll be able to get the love that you have always longed for, yearned for, waited for.
Wrong.
Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy, the most powerful man of Gotham, the heartthrob, the Batman, but never the father of y/n l/n. He doesn't even know you. Doesn't even try to acknowledge you and your hard work, desperate to try anything to make him pay attention to you. To give you the attention you crave and yearn for ever since you arrived at the comfort of his home. You weren't stupid. You knew who he was and his nightly activities. You understood. But what hurts was that despite this, he managed to give every. Single. One. Of his children, attention except you. Was it because you weren't like them? Was it because you didn't fight bad guys for a hobby? Or was it because he never deemed you worthy of his time? Why? Were all the things the kids and big adults whispered behind your back true? That you were a child of a whore and you were bound to become one too over a matter of time? Was it true you'll never compare to your siblings? Being compared to your siblings, who had so much talent and had their own special abilities that yours can't compare to, was draining—and partially true. Your little ballet classes can never impress bruce over his other children's combat skills, multilingual abilities, and genius calculations. And you learned to accept that over the years as you grew up.
Richard grayson, dick, the loving big brother, the family guy. Maybe he was a good guy. After all, he managed to acknowledge you for about 6 seconds one time! He even asked you about your ballet classes! Though that was only to distract his self before Damian came. Always the big brother and Lil brother duo! .. Despite being busy with being a full-time cop and a vigilante, he still makes time for family, the ones he considers as family. Not you, never you. Who were you kidding? Dick is the star of the show, and you're just another side character in his main character life! Just a plain, old, boring bystander. That's all you will ever be to little Richard Grayson's glam life story.
Jason todd was different. He was known as someone who was brutal and full of anger. So it was no problem for him to shove you and tell you off. He had no conscience in telling you to go away, and you liked that. You like the fact that at least he had the decency to not give you false hope. Jason todd hates you, and you know it. Jason todd is jealous of your normalcy and how oblivious you are to the danger of the world. In his eyes, you were his replacement; looking at you makes the green monster of envy crawl out of him and take his anger out on you. The way you are so vulnerable stirs something up inside of him, and he realizes that your eyes look just like his when he was full of wonder and innocence. It made him restless and irritated. It reminded him of his mistakes, foolishness, and those memories he buried deep inside his mind to save him from countless nightmares he desperately ran away from.
Timothy Drake, the genius Robin, the hero by choice, the prodigy son. You would be lying if you said that you weren't jealous of Tim at all. I mean, look at him! He's a genius, a hero, a heartthrob, and a role model to several youths of Gotham. He was exactly like Bruce, and I mean exactly like Bruce. His life revolved around solving crimes, fighting bad guys, acing all of his tests, and coffee. Anything was more important other than you. Sure! He has time to cuddle with his family for movie night (without you, of course) but never has the time to play video games with you. Everything seemed to send thrills to his veins and spark an interest in him except your very existence. If you were just a mere bystander in Dick's story, you weren't even in Tim's!
Cassandra. The girl of the family. You have always envied her. Not only was she the only girl of the family and doted on by every single one of your brothers, but you and she also shared the same interest. What's even more infuriating was that she didn't even have to try. She didn't have to beg countless times to have anyone attend her performances because they were all there. Even Jason, who hid in the shadows. They were all there to support her and show her the love you have always asked for, begged for. She swooned all of them with her dancing, and you can't help that maybe her hands are more gentle, maybe her feet are more pointed, maybe her posture is more straight than yours, maybe she's prettier than you, maybe she's more worth than you.
And finally. Damian al Ghul Wayne. The youngest son, the baby brother, the scarred child loved by his family. When Damian came into the manor, you were thrilled. You thought that maybe you and he could bond over the same trauma. Maybe finally someone can understand you.You thought wrong again. Damian thought you were weak and a disgrace to the bloodline of the Wayne family clan. He called you thousands of cruel names and insulted you whenever he had the chance to. He always belittled you and showed you no mercy, going as far as to drag the blade of his sword across your neck, drawing blood, just for him to cruelly laugh in your face and tell you that you are being dramatic. You forgave him. You were a good kid. Right? So why is it that a kid who made thousands of innocent lives bleed through his sword is sitting with his father—your father—on the couch, sleeping soundly on his chest? It's not fair.
They were never fair.
As Dick was checking the CCTV footage of the manor out of boredom, he managed to catch a glimpse of footage—about 2 weeks ago—of a person packing their bags and putting things from the manor into a box and leaving. It must be a thief! But that's impossible. The manor has many securities that even a skilled assassin could not pass through the gates; it's impossible. Unless…Dick took another glance at the footage and zoomed in on the screen and squinted his eyes. And for a second, his breath hitched and his heart pumped fast, his hand trembled, and his eyes dilated.
It can't be.
Anyways I'm gonna do an acc make over lolololol should I go for yellow, green, purple, white, or blue?
pairing: non-idol!svt maknae line x fem!bisexual!reader
genre: some are angstier and lean toward hurt/comfort (mingyu + minghao), others are fluffier.
warnings: reader mentioned to have exes that aren't men (just women in seokmin's drabble, reader has dated both women and a non-binary person in seungkwan's). vague food mentions in mingyu's, minghao's, and vernon's drabbles (implied something fried in mingyu's due to the usage of cooking oil, mentions of tea in minghao's, vague dinner reference in vernon's). reader getting defensive in mingyu and minghao's drabbles. reader no longer speaks to her parents in mingyu's drabble due to biphobia from her parents. reader's ex in minghao's drabble is biphobic, but left ambiguous what he said to her. angry hao (not directed at reader). extremely casual coming out (seungkwan). joking reference to joshua beating up seungkwan if he didn't react well. reader being cheesy as fuck (vernon). questioning leading to realization (vernon). reader refers to herself as a bisexual mess. chan being kind of a mess (clueless but trying his best).
daisy's notes: happy pride! a continuation of these for the maknae line :) again, no taglist purely bc i don't know who will and won't be interested in this since it is a bit more exclusive.
lee seokmin
"if there's something you want to say, you can say it." seokmin's touch was feather-light as he cupped your cheeks. "i'm listening."
sometimes you wondered how you struck out with meeting seokmin, let alone dating him. he was one of the kindest souls you'd had the pleasure of knowing, let alone loving, and now was no different. tears brimmed your eyes as you replayed the past few minutes over and over in your head. you hadn't meant to come out like this. you wanted to have it be something more... official, in an odd way. something you had control over. but all it took was you ranting about one of your exes to seokmin for you to slip up and say that magic "she" that gave you away entirely.
seokmin hadn't meant to pry or force you out of the closet. but you saw the way he looked up, clearly caught up on that word. "she?" he'd said, soft enough that you thought it was just him musing aloud.
meanwhile, you swore all of the blood drained from your face right t hen and there. "i... uh..." you stammered out. every time you tried to come up with an excuse, the words seemed to dissipate on your tongue, melting away like cotton candy. you wanted to say something, anything. that it was a slip of the tongue. that he heard you correctly and, yes, one of your exes was a woman. that if he had a problem with it, you'd gather your belongings from around his apartment and leave right now.
that was what led to seokmin taking your face into his hands. he looked at you now with this softness in his eyes, ever so loving, and you were sure that he knew you were something other than straight. did you really have to say it? wasn't him knowing, even vaguely, enough? you averted your gaze, and seokmin dropped his hands from your cheeks down to your shoulders, slowly running down your arms until he met your hands.
"you don't have to," he said a moment later. "but if you want to, i'm listening."
you met his gaze. the words died on your tongue again. "you aren't mad i didn't tell you?"
he shook his head. "should i be?" he teased lightly, but dropped the tone when he saw the way you stiffened up over it. "sorry. it's not the time for jokes," he squeezed your hands. "if you don't want to say it, that's okay. whatever you are," he paused, "and whoever you are... i'll still love you. okay? i fell in love with you."
your face grew warmer at just how tender seokmin could be. "so it's really not a problem that i'm bisexual and just... didn't tell you? i mean, it's not like i don't take care of myself, so if you're worried that i'm not cle—"
"it's your identity," he firmly said, stopping you before you could spiral any further. "but... thank you for telling me," he leaned in to press a soft kiss against your forehead. "i love you."
you just smiled, a rosy warm feeling blossoming in your chest. "i love you, too, sunshine."
kim mingyu
"i was thinking..." mingyu was stretched out on your couch, listening to the clamor of pots and pans as you focused on making an elaborate dinner. "we've been dating for a while..."
"mhm?"
"and you've met my family..."
your stomach immediately dropped. oh no. even though you knew where this was going, you had to play dumb. maybe he'd catch your drift and go along with it. "uh-huh? well, kim, if this is a marriage proposal, i think we're still a little too early into a relationship for that—"
he didn't hesitate to ask. "when can i meet yours?"
shit. the spatula slipped from your grasp, clattering against the stove-top far too loudly for your liking. a glance over your shoulder was enough to tell you that mingyu had leaned up to look, watching you carefully. you waved him off, cleaning up where you'd splattered a little bit of oil onto the countertop with your clumsy action. it gave you a moment to think. people were sometimes weird about the fact you'd gone no-contact with your parents as soon as you could stand on your own two feet. a curt never, haha, sorry! would unfortunately never work. but...
"i... i don't think that's exactly gonna happen, mingyu." you didn't turn to look at him. the conversation would be easier if you didn't.
but you heard the sound of him getting up off of the couch, making his way over. "is there a reason?" he crossed his arms, leaning against the nearby counter. "or is it me?"
"it's not you," you didn't hesitate. the last thing you wanted him thinking was that you didn't like him. with a deep breath, you turned to face mingyu. "i don't talk to my parents anymore because they never accepted that i'm bisexual."
he said nothing at first, just staring at you as everything sank in. not that you blamed him: if someone unloaded all of that onto you, you'd probably need a couple minutes to process. all you heard from him was a soft "oh."
"is that going to be a problem?" you crossed your arms. "because if it is, you can leave my apartment right fucking now—"
he shook his head. "honey, i'd never have a problem with any of that," he said as calmly as he could, a steady stream in contrast to the way you were already starting to burn. "i won't bring it up again, though. i'm sorry."
you let out a long sigh, head dropping down for a minute. shit. you knew you had the tendency to get defensive too quickly over this shit. "sorry, mingyu—"
"don't," he said. "it's okay." he stepped closer to you. "i shouldn't have pushed. i think most people don't cut off contact from their parents unless they have a reason."
"no," you pressed a hand to his chest, "it's a fair question. i just..." with a heavy sigh, you shook your head. "i came out to them when i was a teenager, and they basically told me i was desperate for love. and once i could afford to live on my own... i cut contact." you met his gaze a moment later. "some people get weird about it and tell me that i should reach out because they're my parents, i wouldn't be here without them, but... it's not their decision."
he took your hand in his own, drawing it up so that he could kiss your knuckles. "it's not," he affirmed. "but... you're not desperate," mingyu said softly, "i know you know that, but you're just you. and i love you," he smiled, so giddy and in love with you as he leaned in to kiss your cheek.
you found yourself smiling as you pecked his cheek in return. "and i love you, silly," you giggled. "thank you, though. for understanding."
he stepped behind you once you turned back to the meal you were almost finished cooking, wrapping his arms around you. "it's my job," he chuckled. "but you're welcome. and if it means anything..." he shut his eyes, resting against you now. "my family loves you. and so do all of my friends," he giggled. "and so do your friends. so... i think you already have a better family now."
"i know." you smiled to yourself. you'd picked this family out for yourself, after all. but the reminder helped.
xu minghao
there were only so many situations that would lead to what you were dealing with now: minghao, face burning with anger, as he was forcibly dragged out of a restaurant by you. you hadn't let go of him at all, dragging him up the street despite the way he struggled against you once, then twice, before giving in. he was being irrational and he knew it, and you just needed to get him out of there before something bad happened.
"can you stop and tell me what just happened?!" he finally snapped at you, ripping his wrist from your grasp. "who was that and why was he disrespecting you?"
of course that was what he zeroed in on. not the fact your ex-boyfriend was right about to out you to minghao before you'd even ordered drinks, but the fact the guy was being a dick to you. not that it was a surprise: the guy had been disgusting toward you when you came out to him. of course he'd try to "warn" minghao about what he was getting into now.
"that," you said, "was my ex. and we're not having this conversation here."
minghao balled his fists, standing his ground. "he was being horrible to you. you should have let me shut him down. i'm your boyfriend," he said, "if you're scared to stand up for you, then let me do it for you. no one should treat you like that."
"which is why he's my ex," you pointed out. "i don't need you to fight my battles for me."
"that's not what i—"
you shook your head. "if you want to talk, we're going back to my place. i don't want to talk about it here."
that seemed to finally register with minghao, who had slowly been coming back down from that burst of anger. he looked around, realizing that, while the two of you weren't attracting attention, there were other people around. so he nodded, and took your hand as you guided him home. and he didn't let go: not on the taxi ride there, not in the elevator, and not until you needed to let yourself into your apartment.
you excused yourself to make yourself a cup of tea, offering to make him one as well. minghao accepted the offer before looking around your apartment. it'd been a bit since he'd made it over here again. he'd been busy, and most of the time, you were meeting him out or going to his place to hang out for cozy at-home dates.
soon enough, you'd settled down next to him. "i'm only going to explain this once," you said, "okay? i don't want to think about him too often, so..."
minghao immediately stopped you. "you don't have to tell me," he said, voice softer now. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have snapped--"
you shook your head. "you're right, you shouldn't have, but i'm still going to tell you so you know." with a deep breath, you set down the cup of tea. "i'm bisexual. i figured it out during college. that," you vaguely nodded in a direction, "was my ex-boyfriend. i came out to him, and he said... some things," your voice was dripping with venom at even the vague memory, "and i ended it with him right then and there. so when we ran into him tonight, he was trying to warn you about my sexuality."
minghao grimaced. "that's not his place."
"which is why i dragged you out of there," you said. "before he could out me."
all at once, you saw the realization hit minghao like a truck. he hadn't considered that part of it all. his lips parted for a moment, and then he closed his mouth again, shaking his head. "i'm sorry," he said again, voice softer now. "i should have realized—"
you clasped your hand over his mouth, minghao's eyes widening in surprise. "don't. i don't want to think about it. you already apologized for getting angry, so let's just leave it at that. okay?"
he slowly nodded, pushing your hand away from his mouth. "thank you for trusting me with this, by the way," his voice was still soft, gentle enough to truly mean it. then he frowned. "i hate that he ruined our night now," he said. he'd been wanting to show you that restaurant for a while now. "you deserve better than that."
"i know," you reached forward, pinching his cheek lightly. "because i have you."
he met your gaze and smiled. "thank you," he giggled, hand resting over your own. "i'm glad i have you in my life, too."
boo seungkwan
"you know i've kissed girls, right?"
seungkwan shot up from where he'd been reclined on the couch, scrolling through social media. his phone clattered to the floor, and he turned to watch where you continued to idly work on a cross-stitch project. it was as if you hadn't said anything. but he heard you, right? you said something, right? should he say something in response...? he just sat there, watching you, hoping you'd give something up. after a moment, you glanced up from your project to see the way seungkwan was just staring at you, at a loss for words.
"well?" you set your project down, turning to face him. "jeez, dude, you kinda suck at this whole 'coming out' thing--"
wait, what? "you're...?"
"bisexual," you grinned at him, resting your head in one hand. "i've been trying to decide on the best way to come out to you for a while now. and... i dunno, one of my friends just said to tell you i've dated women before." for a moment, you paused. "and one non-binary person, actually. they were cool, even though it didn't last that long."
seungkwan still had no idea what the hell to say to this. he almost wished that this had been more emotional. he could deal with emotional, with holding you and telling you he loved you and accepted you no matter what. what he was struggling to deal with was how you seemed to be taking joy out of how at a loss for words he was right now.
"well?" you watched him, smiling that evil smile of yours. no wonder joshua and jeonghan had been so eager to introduce "a friend of theirs" to seungkwan forever ago. you fit right in with them. "should i have bought you a lemon square? or cuffed my jeans? or—"
seungkwan finally stood up, crossing the room. "you're so mean to me," he said, squishing your cheeks. "always teasing me..." then his gaze softened a little, although his voice never wavered from that playful tone, "is this really how you're coming out to me?"
it earned a delighted snort of joy from you. "do you have a problem with it?" even with your smushed face, you were hellbent on teasing him. "joshua said he'd come beat you up if you reacted badly."
seungkwan rolled his eyes, leaning down to kiss your lips before drawing back. "i love youuuu," he said, drawing the word out to tease you back. he drew his hand away from your face, watching the way you stretched your jaw a little now that you were free. "but if i'm being serious... then thank you for telling me," he said, voice growing softer. "i know you're enjoying teasing me, but i know this is a big step for you."
your smile fell for just a few seconds. seungkwan had seen through your bravado, and you mouthed a soft thanks. and then you returned to smiling, burning brighter than ever. "you live another day, my sweet boo."
he rolled his eyes, kissing your forehead. "i could take joshua," he said. "i could."
with a delighted giggle, you wrapped your arms around him, bringing him closer to you. "i know you could."
vernon chwe
"the moon's beautiful tonight," you mused aloud, holding onto vernon's arm. the two of you had opted for a walk by the river after dinner. "you know what else is beautiful?"
vernon looked over at you with a soft hum. he knew where you were going with this, but... if you wanted to be cheesy and romantic, then who was he to stop you? "who?"
"you," you giggled. and then you squeezed his arm. you had averted your gaze, chewing on your bottom lip for a moment as you suddenly seemed a little more distant from him. "and, uh... a lot of people, actually."
it earned a snort from him. "oh, yeah?" he turned to you, ready to tease you. "and who are these other guys?"
"not just guys, silly," you said, drifting from his side a little. "i think women are kinda hot, too. actually... everyone's just kind of hot and i think i'm just a big mess because of it."
vernon watched you curiously for a moment. he followed after you. "so... like... in what way?"
"i've been thinking a lot lately," you admitted. "and... i dunno. i think when i started googling quizzes to figure out my sexuality, that should have been a really big sign that i'm bisexual, y'know?" you glanced at him. "and... i dunno, i really wanted to tell you. so... i'm telling you."
vernon just slowly nodded along. "i see..."
you slowed to a stop. "i don't know why i'm bringing this up tonight. i just..." you rested a hand over your heart for a moment. "it's like i've had this big secret stuck inside of me for so long, and... you're the first person i want to tell because i know you won't react badly. because you've always been a really sweet guy, you know?"
the heat traveled to his face at that. this was your moment, and still you found it within yourself to compliment him. he just stood before you, unsure of what to say. should he wait until you were finished? he wanted to tell you that he loved you, that he'd always accept you, that he supported you. all the things you deserved to hear.
"i think that's why i've felt so safe exploring this part of myself, too." you reached forward, taking his hands in yours. "because i knew that if i am bisexual... then you'll be right there to support me. because you're you. and... i'm me." you met his gaze, a soft smile on your face. "and i'm bisexual and... i really, really like knowing that now. i'm just this big bisexual mess sometimes, but it's who i am, you know?"
he squeezed your hands tight for a moment. "i'm glad you feel safe with me," he said, voice soft. he leaned forward to kiss you gently. "so, uh. thanks for telling me," he chuckled. "sorry—i'm not good at this, am i?"
"you're perfect as you are, silly," you giggled. "but, uh, now you know why i get flustered whenever the pretty barista compliments me."
"nah," he pulled you forward, "i've known compliments fluster you. remember when we first started dating—"
immediately, you let out a groan. "don't remind me."
"you still get all cute when i call you pretty now," he chuckled, swaying with you. "but it's cool. you're my cute, bisexual mess of a girlfriend." he squeezed you a little tighter. "and i love you."
you snuggled into his embrace. "yeah, yeah..." you wrapped your arms around him. "i love you, too, you big dork."
lee chan
"sorry, you're what?"
you genuinely have no idea how to respond right now. you'd ended up blurting out the whole "hey, by the way, i'm bisexual!" thing to chan impulsively, and now... he was just staring at you, completely perplexed now. how were you supposed to answer this? by giving him a definition...? by asking what he didn't understand? hell, did he even hear you correctly?
"bisexual," you answered after a moment. "you know... like... i like more than just guys?"
"no, i—" he shook his head. "i get that. i just... i didn't hear you the first time." he nodded slowly. "so, um... how long have you known?"
you tapped your toes against the floor, suddenly growing more nervous. shit, was this going to be it for the two of you? maybe you should message your housemate to get the ice cream out now. "since i was... sixteen, i think?" you frowned a little. "i dunno. around sixteen. i just..." you took a deep breath. "it's weird to describe, i guess. there was a girl i was crushing on in high school. one day, she hugged me and it all just kinda clicked in my head, and... yeah." you shrugged. "i'm bisexual. is that a problem?"
immediately, he went wide eyed and shook his head. "no! no, no, no—it's not a problem at all!" he set aside his coffee cup. "i was just curious—genuinely! i mean, i didn't know if i should be supporting you questioning and figuring yourself out right now, or if you knew and i should just be supportive and happy for you, or—uh, i—"
something about how flustered you'd made him made you laugh. he grew quieter, cheeks rosy as he watched you giggle to yourself for a moment.
"it's not a problem," he reaffirmed one last time. "you're still you. you're still my girlfriend," he reached across the table, interlocking his fingers with your own. "and i love you. thank you for trusting me with this." he paused for a moment. "does anyone know?"
"my parents, for one," you said, counting off on your fingers. "a lot of my really close friends know. uh, your friend vernon knows, but that's because he somehow knows my ex-girlfriend and he just put two and two together when we started dating. and, uh, seungcheol—but that's because i told him forever ago before he ever introduced us. i'm, like, out, but it's not something i just go around saying, y'know?"
he nodded along. "okay. good to know." he ran his thumb over your knuckles. "i mean it, though. thank you for telling me." he paused once more, looking up at you. "can... can i ask you questions about it? or is that too much?"
something about the soft look in chan's eyes endeared you to him more than before. he seemed so shy now. a little clueless as to how to go forward, but he did seem like he genuinely cared. "questions like...?"
"how you knew," he said softly, "and if there's anything i can do to not mess this up with you. i've, um," his faced was flushed, "i don't think i've dated a bisexual before and i don't want to say accidentally something stupid that hurts you. i've, um—i've heard about people doing that, you know?"
"i think you're already overthinking it a little," you said softly. "just keep treating me like me, and if you do say something without thinking, we'll talk about it. okay?"
his shoulders slumped a little, whatever pressure he was putting himself under having been lifted. "right! right," he ran his thumb over your knuckles once more, face burning red now. "right. i... i'm sorry," he laughed nervously, meeting your gaze again after a moment. "i'm a mess."
"you're a cute mess," you giggled. you reached out, brushing a strand of hair back from his eyes. "but i am, too."
his eyes twinkled a little as he looked at you like you were his world. "a cuter mess," he said. "but... really. thank you for telling me and—and trusting me. i'm really glad you do."
𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬
𝜗𝜚 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄: fluff, established relationship, down bad wonwoo (he’s a certified simp) 𝜗𝜚 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: idol!wonwoo x fem!reader 𝜗𝜚 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1.6k
⦗💌 ⦘ though it didn’t bother wonwoo that his girl wasn’t a gamer like him, he was over the moon when one day she proudly declared she started gaming. one thing he forgot to ask - what kind of games she was playing.
𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: guys if i play dress to impress does it mean im finally a gamer?
wonwoo was having a stroke.
months ago, when you first started going out, he of course had to mention his love for gaming and computers, no matter how lame it made him - he figured if it bothered you then you simply weren’t fit for him. but, thankfully, you didn’t find it unappealing whatsoever, you even asked him questions about games and whatnot, sounding genuinely interested.
and he wouldn’t lie - it’d be cool if you were a gamer as well, but…
“no, it’s not for me,” you said when he asked if you played. “i don’t really get the hype, and to be honest i just suck really bad.”
…but wonwoo understood that you didn’t have to share his every passion, besides - you had your hobbies, he had his, and that was perfectly fine. he was more than happy to indulge in activities that you enjoyed and getting to know you even better through them.
during the course of your relationship you still didn’t show any interest in his games. well, maybe except for when you wanted cuddles, then you suddenly took a great interest in what was happening on his computer, but wonwoo didn’t mind. it was cute how you tried to keep up with the game though you had no idea what it was about, especially when you were sleepy.
sometimes, though, you felt bad that you didn’t share his passion, that you didn’t know about all of the new updates, and gaming terms, or what the different keys on the keyboard were responsible for, but wonwoo was always quick to shut down those silly thoughts of yours. “i don’t mind, honey,” he always said and kissed your cheek. “i really don’t”.
so it was safe to say that he had never expected to hear, "i'm a gamer now, baby. i play games," with a proud smile on your lips.
wonwoo’s day had been long and hard, his muscles were aching from the hours spent on dancing and moving around the stage, and his head was begging for a moment of silence from all the yelling and yapping of his members.
but that, that just woke him up like no amount of coffees or red bulls could.
“huh?” he managed to say in utter confusion.
he didn’t like how you were smiling. there was something sinister about it.
“there’s this game everyone is playing now. i saw some videos on tik tok,” you had to stifle a giggle seeing your boyfriend’s expression upon the mention of the app he considered cursed, “and it looked fun. so… i’ve been playing it ever since you left for work.”
well, maybe you did find it on tik tok, but a game was still a game, so wonwoo figured he should count that as a win.
“let me show you,” you declared and took his hand with an excited grin, before he could say anything else, let alone ask you what kind of game you were talking about.
you quickly pulled him into his bedroom, totally dismissing mingyu’s “hello”, and made him sit on his gaming chair.
“i know you don’t like it when people touch your computer-,”.
“you can use it, honey, i don’t mind,” he cut you off and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. as ecstatic as wonwoo was about your breakthrough in gaming, he could wait to go to bed and finally get his well deserved cuddles from you.
“okay okay,” you said and unintendedly ran your fingers through his hair. “so here it is,” you pointed at the screen behind him.
wonwoo had no idea what game could have finally caught your attention. even the adorable characters from animal crossing weren’t cute enough for you to spend more than five minutes on the game, but what he saw on his computer...
"what, uh," he gulped. "what is that?"
“dress to impress!”
well, it certainly did not impress wonwoo.
“it’s like a dressing up game,” you added, when your boyfriend didn’t say anything. “here.”
you rolled him a bit away from the desk so you could take your designated place on his lap, and disconnected the headphones from the computer, which made everything so much worse. the music that was playing in the background had to be one of the worst sounds he had ever heard.
“look,” you pointed at the timer at the top of the screen. “the game is starting.”
he could feel how you were buzzing with excitement, clapping your hands in tiny, waiting for the time to run out.
“okay, see? here’s the theme,” wonwoo nodded sceptically, but nonetheless tightened his grip on your waist.
album cover.
then the screen changed to what looked like a large walk-in closet the size of his and mingyu's apartment. a bunch of other characters were running around, and the god awful music was still playing, and you started to run around as well, and, “oh my god, what was going on?”.
“who should i dress up as?” you bit your nail, clearly very focused. wonwoo took a peek at your furrowed brows, and small pout and for a second he drowned out the annoying sound coming from his computer, just to focus on your adorable expression.
“i can do you!” you said, and turned around to quickly place a kiss on his cheek. “from the “face the sun” concept photos. technically it’s not an album cover, but… no one here is ever on theme anyway”.
wonwoo could only watch as you slowly changed your outfit into something that was supposed to resemble one of his concept photos, only in a more cutified version, because as you said, "you're a babygirl". with the minutes ticking by, he couldn’t help but smile at you being so focused on putting the whole outfit together.
"okay, it's done," you said, leaning back so you were resting against wonwoo's chest. "now it's show time."
one by one, the characters walked the carpet, presenting their… whatever their outfits were.
“ugh, this fit sucks ass,” you groaned, and nuzzled your head into his shoulder. “wait til one of them hits the twenty eight pose,” you said, and by the tone of your voice wonwoo did not want to see that.
“why are you giving everyone one star?” he asked, confused. “that one wasn’t that bad,” he pointed at the character that dressed up as ariana’s dangerous woman.
“you never give anyone more than one star,” you stated as a matter of fact. “oh, look,” you squealed. “it’s me.”
indeed it was you, and for what it was worth - your outfit looked the best in wonwoo’s opinion. but then again you were best in everything to him, so his opinion didn’t count. and then the screen turned black again.
the winners are…
“now we’ll see who placed on the podium,” you explained, and grabbed his hand that was still resting on your waist.
wonwoo nodded and put his chin on your shoulder. “i’m sure you’re going to be first, honey.”
“huh,” you huffed. “i wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
and yeah, you were right. in the first place there was a character that wasn’t dressed up at all, in the second someone with the vip sign dressed as if they were going to the circus, and in the third there was a very creepy character of a man.
you clicked your tongue annoyed. “told you.”
well, that was an experience wonwoo had never thought he’d have the, uh, pleasure to go through.
“so,” you got up, and just when wonwoo was about to whine about the lack of your warmth, you straddled his lap. “what do you think?” you cupped his cheeks and smiled at him brightly.
he wasn’t sure he was thinking at all, at this point.
the annoying music? unbearable. the clearly not on theme outfits? hideous. the weird poses that freaked him out? he was sure he’d get nightmares from them.
wonwoo must’ve been thinking too long about his answer so as not to hurt your feelings, because the smile slowly started to disappear from your face. "you think it's weird, right?" you asked and looked down.
"what? no, it's not that, it's-,".
"sweetie, i understand," you laughed quietly. "it's a game for kids, and a little cheesy at that but-,".
"no no," wonwoo quickly said and grabbed your face in his hands so he could lift your head. "i just didn't expect this. you always said you didn't like to game and i didn't know what to expect."
"yeah, but still-,".
"oh could you be quiet for a second?" he smiled when he saw the corners of your lips lift up. "i didn't mean to make you feel bad and i'm sorry if it did.”
yeah, the game might not have been his style, and he would never have played it himself, but you liked it. and that was all he cared about. he had never seen you smile like that when he was gaming - your eyes were practically heart shaped when you were dressing up your character, and if this wasn't the most adorable thing ever he didn't know what it was.
if it made you happy, then it made him happy too.
"you have no idea how glad you found a game you like," he ran his thumbs over your cheeks. "and you know what? if i played myself i'd definitely give your outfit five stars."
you giggled, and wrapped your hand around one of his wrists. "thank you, wonwoo."
"of course," he muttered and pecked your forhead. "now tell me, is there a way we could play it at the same time?"
"wonwoo, you don't have to-,"
"but i want to," he said.
for a moment you just looked at him with a raised brow, as if you were trying to figure out if he was really telling the truth. and he really was. wonwoo would survive any horrible outfit and that annoying music just to see you so excited and happy again.
"are you sure?"
he quickly nodded.
"okay, then let me get my computer."
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jason headbutts you- not aggressively, but like a cat who’s requesting affection. youll just be laying in bed with him and he just bumps his head against yours.
“yeah, baby?” you hum, smiling at your dork of a boyfriend. “don’t make me say it.” he mutters against your cheek. “c’mon big guy, use your words.” jason rolls his eyes and pulls you close to him, kissing your nose. “can you play with my hair, please?” you tap your chin in mock thought, and he pokes your side. of course you give in, look at him. his eyes flutter shut when your hands finally comb through his hair, head resting against your chest. “can y’just read my mind next time?”
Details of half return
The narrative starts with y/n going back to their old house, where they start with reminiscing about memories from their old home. They admire every mark they left in their home when they were a kid not knowing that was the last time they were gonna live and make memories there. It's also a perfect situation where you can relate to Adrianne Lenker's lyrics, specifically in which she says, “standing in the yard, dressed like a kid,” which indicates a moment of nostalgia. To me, this song is highly associated with missing the innocence, youth, childhood, or simply who you were in the past.
If you're wondering why the reader goes to their old house, it's because it's a way of letting go for them. As they have said in the story that it was a way of letting go and mourning that version of them. Because you can never really let go if you're not mourning/did not mourn even the slightest.They saw it as a necessary step in the process of growing and becoming a new person.
In the old house scene, you can see the memory of the reader, where they see the life they want in the lives of others, making them yearn for that. The space between two windows, reader and their neighbor, indicates or symbolizes their current life (reader's window), while the other mirrors the life they long for (neighbor's window), like a window to their desired reality. So watching the Barbie movies/shows through their neighbor was them actually watching the life they wish for.
Also, the puppy she found on a random day while she was alone. The puppy is a symbolic object of the reader. As you saw in the first scene where they both first met, it was said that the puppy was just crying for its mother and father, hoping, waiting. (That's eerily familiar, don't you think?) And! The reader named the puppy “Amara,” which, if I'm not mistaken, means forever loved, which she is. Amara was a mirror of y/n's soul. And y/n treated them the way they have always wanted to be treated.
But Amara is not a mirror to the current reader's soul. Do you get it? Because Amara was the symbol of the past version of them, which means they were the beacon of youth Y/N once had. Amara staying and waiting within the walls of where they both grew up just connects to y/n’s journey of letting go. That is why when the reader saw her, whispered gently to her and reassured her that it was okay, that she could rest now. representing readers' way of saying goodbye to the old y/n and letting them rest. The scarred innocent of their younger self is now free from the heavy pain of the things they went through.
The scene where the reader “made up” with their mother and the fact that their mother admitted she never hated them that much but couldn't confirm that she didn't entirely hate them is SO important. It was a moment where their mother finally acknowledged her faults and apologized bitterly but with sincerity. She was very honest in that scene, as she knew that was what you needed and wanted. No sugar-coated words, only the truth. Also the fact that they made up, but it was also going to be the last time they would see each other!! Because the reader cut them off on good terms, and that was the final step in making peace with everything that was part of their past.
Also, if yall were wondering how the reader “moved on” with the Bat family, it was actually the first ever step they took in making peace with their past. As their way of doing it was just accepting. Accepting that they will never see them as family, and they will never be interested in them in any way. (Guess who got clowned.)
And Alfred, who was driven by his own selfish desires. Now we all know that it was Alfred who took care of the reader the moment they got to the manor, so naturally it would be Alfred who first spiraled into yanderism. I like the idea of Alfred; despite wanting what's best for the reader and what makes her happy, he is still a yandere. And that means he still has traits of a yandere, which is what made him come up with a heavily detailed plan.
Yn: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!
Yn: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!
Batfamília: 🤨
Bruce: There's no more salvation
(sfw/nsfw) Subspace!BLLK :: x femdom!Reader
anon thank you for the request! I've got a little too much albuterol in me to focus super clearly so I hope some headcanons will suffice for now ♡ - askbox open cw: fem!Reader, dom!Reader, aged up, DARK CONTENT; physiological/psychological sub space(s), bdsm dynamics word count: sloppy headcanons character(s): Nagi Seishiro, Hyoma Chigiri, Bachira Meguru, Sae Itoshi, Rin Itoshi
DNI :: minors, blank blogs + m!Reader blogs
PHYSIOLOGICAL + PSYCHOLOGICAL SUBSPACE :: Almost exclusive to spanking but calling you mommy gets the job done too!
absolutely grew up disconnected from any parental figure so the moment he finds out what a mommy kink is, Nagi is enthralled
straight up starts calling you mommy in private and public
scenes with him are very structured and he obeys mommy extremely well
craves structure even if that means punishments along with them
spanking with the addition of calling you mommy during a scene is absolutely when he can enter his subspace
make choices for him, decide what's pleasure for him, don't make Nagi think of utterly anything and his body is yours
impossible to overstimulate when he's in his subspace while being incredibly sensitive over every inch of his body
but he is incredibly limp when he's this vulnerable so your positions are...limited
adores the confines of mommy's pussy if you're riding him and praising him after a good spanking and his bum is warm with the marks you left
or being folded in half, all six four of him, while you peg him and tell him how many more orgasms he'll give you bc he's a good boy
either way you decide bc Nagi checks out in the best ways the second his subspace hits with you
PSYCHOLOGICAL SUBSPACE :: He gets in his head about his own body!
he knows his weak spot and sometimes Chigiri obsessives over his weakness
that's where you come in
the first time was an explosively pleasant surprise during a particularly heated session that Chigiri kept insisting you keep going and that's when he accidentally slipped into that euphoric floaty bliss
then by back tracking when Chigiri realized he could slip just right into that perfect subspace when he's at his worst by how you made him feel
absolutely needs that connection and your guidance to let him let go and find his bliss
coax him thru words, praise and gentle touches over every inch of him working your way to touching his thighs and his legs
he will loose it the second you touch his legs while you're pegging him
acts a total whore and lets you use any part of him you want
very suggestible and very ready to please
his body becomes your gummy toy to do whatever you want with bc Chigiri trusts you with his most weakest spots
PHYSIOLOGICAL SUBSPACE :: Pain! Push the limits each scene!
a living breathing monster that lives to push the limits of what both of you can do!
Bachira experiencing subspace comes almost accidentally after an experiment with a leather crop turns extra exciting
make it more than just pain though he needs to be limited in what he does or how he can move - revoke his freedom and his subspace follows
preferable, strapped to do a chair if he has any say in it
pay extra attention to his thighs to break him sooner than later for each scene
and that goes for his cock as well Bachira gets off quiet well to the slap of the leather against his thigh or simply across his cock as well
trusts you to know his limit during the scene and bc of that subspace isn't always achieved
when it is though Bachira turns simply into a sex starved whore
exceptionally loves to have his mouth used when he's floating in his subspace
ride his face and suffocate him in your fun if you must the pain of no air to his lungs is ecstasys inducing
or fuck his throat with your strap telling him to wet it for you to fuck him with and he'll slobber all over the silicone like he's trying to suck a load from it
and when it comes to pegging him, you might as well let Bachi ride you bc your hips will give out before his subspace does if he earns the right of your strap in him
PHYSIOLOGICAL SUBSPACE :: Making him feel so much sends him adrift in his subspace!
break his calm exterior with leather and chains
emphasis on restriction of what he can do forces Sae into the comfortability of his subspace as his body realizes faster than his mind that he can't be in control
fond of both your hands as well as flogs and crops this man's body begs to be painted in red marks until he's agreed to obey
scenes with this man include breaking his spirit as a right of passage to his subspace
first time he responds to you with a "yes ma'am" means you're on the right track
fueled by pain Sae loves the feeling of loosing control of his body as it reacts to what you inflict onto him and not by what he's telling himself to do
total control on the soccer field leads to utter helplessness in the bedroom
his torso and thighs are where it's at!
the broadest parts of him where you can make the sharpest stings with your palm or a favored toy
he loves leather
eliciting different reactions from his body though in ways he couldn't think of also help this man slip into his subspace
temperature play integrated with some light slapping will have him obeying you while he is unable to talk back
Sae is extra willing to please you after his body is marked up by you in the most devilish of ways
PSYCHOLOGICAL SUBSPACE :: Overwhelming emotions gush over to his subspace!
will almost always ask for a scene in which he can slip into subspace if he's lost a game, hard a bad practice or any interaction with his brother
so...often
triggered by words; such as cooing, praise and being referred to as "mommy's baby" will instantly set Rin on the track for his subspace
touching can help speed the process along but Rin tends to take these moments as a way to decompress and let go as well
overwhelming praise brings out that passive floaty personality of his while you get the pleasure of disrobing him and peppering his body in delicate attention
skin to skin! skin to skin!
Rin wants you as naked as he is so he can mash every inch of his body into yours like he needs to crawl into you to survive
when his emotions are this raw overstimulating him is so easy and a must
every form of pleasure is welcomed from you riding him while he nurses and clutches you...to pinning him under you and fucking him until he's nonverbal...Rin expects the full spectrum if he trusts you enough to find his subspace
his subspace can be longer if you peg him and refuse his orgasms
body super eager to please once he's slipped into his subspace under you; he can't say no to you like this so tender care of every inch of him until he's overflowing is a must to assure a successful scene