Nothing Makes Me Feel Filthier Than You Making Me Talk When I’m Choking On Your Fingers Or Your Cock.

I want this. Badly. I think at first it would just be me putting on a show for you but by the end I would be doing it because I want it

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to eat a girl out. I’ve only ever gone down on a guy, but I thought it would be cool to be able to compare the two experiences

Fuck, I really love eating pussy. Giving soft kisses to their lips before teasing their clit with my tongue, flicking softly, tasting their wetness, and just inhaling the lovely scent. Looking up at their face and watching their expressions morph into pleasure, their eyes rolling back and hearing them tell me, “Just like that, baby, fuck.” Feeling their thighs shake and tense when I start sucking and licking their clit, giving it so much attention. The feeling of their cunt dripping down my chin. Their moans getting louder and desperate when they get closer and closer to cumming. The way they grab my hair and hold my face down when they finally cum all over my lips. The way it just so delicious and lovely, and fuck

pretty

sometimes there’s this…

Imagine me softly jerking you off, my hand over your mouth muffling your moans.

Usually, I’d love to hear you darling, but today, I want to see how quiet you can be.

I want to touch your pretty cock until you cant take it anymore, looking at me, begging for permission to cum.

I can’t even describe how cruel this is. I’ve been touching myself while scrolling just like you asked me to, only to read this right as I was about to finish. I audibly groaned when I pulled my hand away. I had half a mind to just ignore it and make myself come anyway but then I wouldn’t be your good girl, and we all know how badly I want to be good for you. Will you let me come the next time I see you? Or do you want me to suffer for a bit longer?

touch me like you own me. come up behind me and squeeze my tits while we're cooking. flip up my skirt whenever I bend over, slide my panties to the side and wet your fingers there. put them in my mouth afterward. make me spread my legs and show you my pretty cunt while you work.

just, treat me like your favourite toy

does watching me touch myself appeal to you? I do touch myself when I’m with you, but you generally focus on what I look like when I come. I don’t know if you’ve ever just watched me touch myself. I think you already know this, but I love watching you touch yourself. It is both very hot and very informative

telling you how pretty i think you are while you touch yourself

The idea of you putting your hands on me while I do the most mundane of acts makes me melt. It feels less like a teasing touch and more of a lazy “your body is mine to caress whenever and however I want” kind of touch. Just thinking about it makes my head fuzzy 🫠

Tease…

it was a bad day

I’m trying something new. My default reaction to unfavorable outcomes is to damage control the bad emotions quickly and put as much distance from the situation as possible. To me, the negative emotions that I may experience are ephemeral, and if I just give myself enough time, they will naturally resolve with minimal effort. I imagine that’s why I have such a difficult time viewing journaling as an effective coping method. It immortalizes a bad experience when all I want to do is forget about it.

With that said, I think there are some valuable things to gain from doing it, so I want to attempt it here. Today was a bad day. Realistically, I think there have been various bad events recently that aggregated to make today feel really shitty.

1) I was rejected from Stanford and Boston University. At no point in this process did I think that I would get accepted to Stanford so I was mostly unfazed by the rejection. Boston University, however, did feel within my reach so getting that email stung a little more.

2) there’s been this relentless feeling of having so many restrictions/limitations on doing the things that I want. Between frequently getting held up at work, the days being shorter, needing to balance my time between friends, family, and my boyfriend, I just get the overwhelming sense that there aren’t enough hours in the day. 3) I feel like I should be improving in so many aspects of my life, but I’m not. I told myself that once I was done with my secondaries, my schedule would just open up and I’d be able to do all the things that I’d set aside in favor of prioritizing medical school. And yet here I am with no secondaries to do but still feeling like I’ve made no measurable progress in certain arenas of my life. (2 and 3 feel related)

4) I continue to struggle with getting my relationship with my sister to a place that I’m happy and comfortable with. Because of that, time devoted to her and my nephew sometimes leave me feeling agitated. This agitation can then extend to my parents. 5) I went in for my annual physical and I got my covid booster and flu shot. The shots in combination wrecked me and left me feeling physically ruined for about 48 hours. After the aches and pains subsided though, I developed a sore throat that has been lingering. Mild enough to not be debilitating but significant enough to annoy me. It’s not the end of the world, but thinking that I may be sick during the Orlando trip is probably upsetting me more than I want to admit. 6) I broke a nail and I got a hole in one of my favorite shoes 😕

All of these things in combination resulted in me reacting poorly to a rather trivial situation this morning. While I was on the phone with my boyfriend during my commute, my mom called to do our morning check in. I answered her and she proceeded to vent some of her frustrations about my sister and her divorce. The conversation was brief and I quickly called my boyfriend back. I had it in my mind that I would tell him the details and he would weigh in on the situation with his opinion. Especially considering that last night we didn’t get a chance to talk about some of the things that I wanted to. But the conversation was steered in a different direction and I found myself frustrated at how asymmetric the conversation felt. At the time, I was simmering in my frustration, unable to redirect the conversation to a place that I was happier with, withdrawing more and more as time went on.

At the time, I blamed the outcome of the conversation on my boyfriend’s personality, citing that his ability to mobilize his thoughts quicker than me allowed for him to dominate a conversation and fill it with endless thoughts of his own choosing. Now I realize that while that may be true, it’s hardly the entire picture. A conversation doesn’t end like that because he can think of more to say in a quicker timeframe. It ends like that because I never make it known to him that I have something that I want to say. No person, not even the love of my life, is responsible for knowing what I want at any given time. It is my responsibility to make what I want known. The difficulty that I have with being able to ask for what I want is a different beast and one that I’ll be saving for a different journaling attempt. But for now, I’m happy to have identified something that needs improvement.

So it was a bad day. But I’m glad that it was because it means that we have work to do. But it also proved that the two of us are in this together to do that work. That is exactly the kind of relationship I want ♥️❤️

There are some things I love about this position

1) I think there’s a vulnerability that comes from you being behind me. I’m limited in the ways that I can touch you which puts you in control and makes me so much more at your mercy

2) you can play with the amount of intimacy that comes from this position based on how much contact you choose to create. Whether you use your lips on my body as the only point of contact or you mold your entire chest to my back while you whisper in my ear, you can vary the position to suit whatever dynamic you want to create.

3) hair pulling 👹

I think you already know that I would do anything to earn it

Tying you to your bed and making you stare at my cock till you drool. Jerking off while you watch because only good sluts get to feel it and you haven't earned it yet.