Amsart - This Is A Mess

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amsart

2 years ago

Pairing: Midoriya Izuki x gn! reader

Warning: none, just fluff.

Synopsis: 14th February. You've found some courage to confess to Izuku.

A/N: I decided to make myself cringe this year for Valentine's Day. Enjoy!

You're wondering if you overestimated yourself about all this when he enters the empty break room. His gaze lands on you and he says your name softly, careful not to make too much noise. It's late, everyone is tired and sleeping.

You clench your hands, wondering if you can really do this when Midoriya Izuku is looking at you like that. The letter in you right hand is heavy now, heavy with words and meaning and feelings.

You can still back down.

But no. You've spent so much time writing and editing it and finally said "fuck it" yesterday evening, set on telling your friend everything. So you give Izuku your letter with shaking hands. He is looking at you with big, emerald eyes. They widen at the sight of the letter, lips parting.

"For me?" he asks, maybe to be sure there is no mistake.

You shrug. There's no one else here, who else could that be for?

"Yeah, um... I mean... There's your name on it so..." gosh, you can't even make a full sentence, it is ridiculous.

Izuku's (pomme d'Adam) bob a bit and he takes the letter from your hands very slowly, your fingers brushing, and stares at it. He seems surprised, a bit lost too, like he can't really believe it's really for him. You look like two idiots in the middle of the dormitory's break room. You let your arms fall on your sides, stiff as a (tronc) but legs ready to take off.

"Um..." Izuku looks at you with a little smile. "Can I open it?"

You visibly stiffen under his gaze. "Um..."

"It's okay if you don't want too!" he quickly adds.

"No, it's just..."

You bit your lips. It's just you didn't expect him to ask this. To tell the truth, you've planned to give him the letter and then run away. You even have a plan to avoid him for the next month.

But you're so not prepared to see him read this in front of you.

"It's embarrassing," you say after a moment.

Izuku shakes his head, looking at your letter with something close to fondness written on his freckled face.

"I don't think you have to be embarrassed about anything," he replies.

His voice is so assured you want to believe him but you know what's written, you know it's definitely something to be embarrassed about.

"You can..." you lick your lips, mouth really dry all of a sudden. "You can read it now. Just... spare me a little bit after? That's all I ask."

"I promise," Izuki swear, still smiling. He doesn't know what he's going into or he wouldn't smile at you like this.

You watch him open your letter carefully, like it would be a shame to tore the plain envelop just a little. His scarred hands struggling a bit to be as careful as possible, managing to free the paper that can put an end to your friendship.

You've written it with you heart and soul, you think. You've decided to open a Pandora box, to free something you had under control all this time without even knowing it was here.

"Dear Izuku."

You cringe: "Fuck no, please, don't read it aloud or I'm running away."

Izuki chuckles and complies, eyes travelling slowly on the letter. His reading is akin to religious, dedicaced. At that moment, you feel like nothing could tore his attention but a villain attack.

You stare at him, nervous. You can see every little change of expression, from his eyes widening a bit, the faint blush of his ears hiding behind green curls, his lips pursing... On the paper, you can also see his fingers clenching slightly, something you would've missed if it was not for the faint crumbling noise.

You fidget, observing all this. But the moment Izuku's gaze left your letter to land on you, you avoided it.

"Y/n..."

"Just get it over with," you say, clenching your hands behind your back. "The quicker the better."

Izuku frowns. "What do you mean?"

You shrugged: "You know... Just tell me I'm just a friend and everything. That you have eyes for someone else. That you like me but not this way. Anyway, just be quick."

Izuku doesn't move an inch, petrified. Your letter is still in his hands. You still avoid looking at him, shame creeping on you. Something has shifted in the room, tension palpable between you two. You didn't know how to interpret nor understand it but it couldn't be a good sign.

You feel a dreadful feeling taking you by the throat. You shouldn't have done that. You should've kept everything bottled up. You've been stupid. Writing this on a whim in hope of being free from your feelings... yeah, it has been stupid.

"I've been pondering for the past few weeks whether I should tell you this or not."

You lift your head, eyes wide.

"Wha--"

"And I'm sorry if I'm ruining everything by doing so," Izuku keeps on reading out loud, to your utter horror. "and I hope we'll still be friend after this because you're someone too important for me to lose."

"Wait, Izu--"

"I love you. I really love you. Since the day we met, I've been loving you. Maybe not in the romantic sense of the word at first, but it became like this the longer I got to know you."

You step forward, set on snatching the letter from your friend's hand. But Izuku has grown taller than you those past two years, not much but still. He holds the paper far from your reach, one large hand on your shoulder to keep you at bay.

"I love the way your smile can brighten a whole room and how your laugh is so contagious. I love when you talk to yourself, mumbling things I sometimes can't understand, but that's okay because I also love your voice. I love how soothing and gentle it is."

"Not out loud," you grit through your teeth. "You're being mean!"

"I'm not!" Izuku protests with a big grin.

"You said you would spare me!"

"And I'm keeping my promise."

You roll your eyes: "Yeah, right, as if--!" you tried a surprise attack to take back your letter but Izuku sees right through you and dodges easily. You huff. "As if you were keeping it by reading this crappy thing out loud."

You ignore the scandalized gasp escaping your friend and decide to pout instead. Maybe glaring at him would work.

Instead, Izuku tilts his head, emerald eyes never leaving you.

"I also really love your hands, but maybe it's not very relevant with the rest."

He isn't reading anymore but reciting. You would be amazed if you were not busy taking off your slipper to throw it at his face.He dodges again with only one step aside.

"And I love how you're set on taking care of everyone but I don't like how you forget yourself in those moments," Izuku goes on, giddy, his green curls moving around his face as he dodges your other slipper. Your letter is hidden being his back now, and you know you will not reach it.

"I'm gonna punch you," you threaten darkly but with years of the same threats from Bakugou, Izuku doesn't take you seriously.

It's difficult to think he can be a teaser with his soft features, his gentle smile and warm eyes but here he is, teasing you with mirth and childish amusement. You wonder where it comes from and since when he has it in him. The little shit role was for Todoroki and he lived up to it, but Izuku has never shown this side of him before. Maybe he has spent too much time with Todoroki and Bakugou. It's the only explanation.

While you're thinking about the best way to make him regret his attitude, Izuku is looking at your letter again, counting something on his fingers.

"What I don't understand is why you wrote sorry so many times."

You crossed your arms. Isn't it obvious? "Well... even if we remain friends, it will never be the same again, right? I'm sorry for that."

Izuku hums, pensive.

"But... what if I don't want us to stay friends?"

Something drops in your stomach, cold and heavy. It must show on your face because Izuku shakes his head.

"No, no, no, I do not mean it that way!" he exclaims, waving frantically his hands. "I just... I mean... what if I also want to be something more than friends? What then?"

You gape at him. Has he gone crazy? Have your heard well? Were you becoming crazy?

"Did you hit your head too hard during training today?" you asked, bewildered.

Izuku chuckles and shakes his head, takes two steps forward and extended his hand, palm upward. You look at it, then at his expectant face, then at his hand again.

Oh.

"I don't..." you sputter. "I didn't think you..."

You fall silent when you see his big, big smile. There is a mirth on his features that you've never quite seen before and the sight alone renders you at loss of words and makes your heart miss a beat.

"I've been obvious," Izuku confess with a little, embarrassed laugh. "Everyone caught me months ago. I'm surprised you didn't realize."

You really didn't, you think. What signs did you miss? Have you been this blind, really? Was it because of this Mina and Deki have been so insufferable those past weeks?

Now that you're thinking about it, some of your friends' behavior makes sense. The way Bakugou was groaning in disgust everytime he saw you two talk, or how Todoroki has made some random comments about how you and Izuku were alike on some aspects...

Oh God, was that why Momo absolutely wanted to make chocolates with you today?? So you could give them to Izuku?

"I've been so stupid," you complain, face in your hands.

"Oblivious would me more exact," Izuku corrects. "It was cute, really."

"Izuku, I swear on my favorite hoodie if you don't stop teasing I will really hit you in the guts."

That is a threat Bakugou must not have used a lot on him because Izuku makes a face. He doesn't retaliate, opting to hold his hand out to you again.

"Do you... want us to be more than friends?"

You laugh at his phrasing and his grin grows only wider. You put your hand in his and watch as his fingers close on yours, the difference between the color of your skin and his. Your heart flutters at the sight.

"Will you stop teasing me now?" you ask, hopeful.

Something like amusement flickers in Izuku's green eyes.

"That, I can't promise."

A/N: reblog if you want to receive a love letter from this happy freckled bean.