Would I Be Exiled If I Called This A Stanimatic

AAGAHAGAHBDSK HOW DID I NOT SEE THS UNTIL NOW OHMIGOFH THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!!!

ACTUALLY. LOSING IT RN. YOUR IMPRESSION OF THE STANS IS FANTASTIC AND THE FLOW MATCHES THEM SO WRLL GDSUSKSHSK

DR PINE'S VOICE TOO AAAHSH ITS SO PERFECT I CANT EVN FORM WORDS RIGJT NOW IM STILL LAUGHING AT JUDT HOW M A D FORD SOUNDS I ITS AMAZING

ABD THE DIALOUGE AT THE BEGINNIGN OUFH THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!

I just imagine stan. under a table. listening to Ford. and trying to hold in his laugher while simultaneously coming up with insults to absolutely destroy his brother. with a puppet.

Okay so I've never created a beat for anything befroe but now is sure a great time to try heh... give me a minute (and by minute I mean a few days) and I'll put everything together (somehow)...

two uploads? in two days? outrageous!

@aroace-get-out-of-my-face @babyblankyerror @anarchysammichh

another dr pines voiceover, this time for the rap battle. the flow isn’t as good as i wish it could be, but they’re old men. totally not my inability to rap. again srry for adding extra stan dialogue but it felt wrong to just spring off with no intro. also for the dr pine voice i tried to do it how it was described (stan doing a poor impression of ford), but idk if that’s what you envisioned. lastly, full permission to use this (and find a beat since i couldn’t) . enjoy!

Happy Fiddleford Friday! Here have this 👍

This is the angstiest thing I’ve ever written, and WORST OF ALL, this could technically count as canon compliant, which means it just. Hurts a whole bunch.

This was written for the Memory Vial AU, which means I’m tagging a whole bunch of people for this, which also means that I, would like, to apologize.

@kagaintheskywithdiamonds @thefallenangel2008 @inkyrainstorms @willapines618 @pickledoesthetumbling @xirine13 @pinefamilycatsau

Without further ado, this is the Stan Swap, aka moments before the memory gun.

“What other choice do we have?”

The bars of their pyramid shaped cage are uncomfortably warm under Ford's fingers.

They should be cold, distantly, a mark in Ford's mind grumbles that cage bars should all be cold, but these ones, made of a demon's magic and unbreakable, are slightly warmer than his palms. He can feel it through the gloves, like touching a warmed mug, and it's just another thing that's wrong in this place.

He's going to have to give in.

To save the kids, if nothing else. Ford's not sure what Bill Cipher will do with him after he gets the equation, and starts the end of the world, but it won't be pleasant. It could be torture, he could be killed outright, but whatever the consequences, its better than letting the children, bright Dipper and shining Mabel, be crushed for his mistakes.

Ford is shaking, just slightly. Here in this cage, with his brother, he lets himself be a little afraid.

“He wants into your brain,” Stanley says quietly. “But, if we trapped him in someone else's, would the memory gun work?”

Ford turns.

Stanley has a look in his eyes, a contemplation, running numbers, like he's planning out just how heavy to lay into a con back at the Mystery Shack. He's thinking, but there's also a fierceness in his look.

Ford swallows. “There's nothing else Bill wants.” He draws in a slow breath, and lets it out in a sigh.

“It's my mind he needs, and I'm immune to the gun's effects.”

“But I'm not.”

Ford drags his eyes back up to his brother. The fire in his eyes hasn't pulled away, instead it's sharpened, and a grin, wry and quick, flashes on his face.

“What?”

“Ford.” Stan says, and his voice is hard and serious. “There's nothing he wants in your mind, and the gun won't work on you anyway, but it'll work on me.”

There is a moment, small and heavy, where Ford's mind stalls, lags behind. He squints at his brother, confused. Stan's face gives nothing away, but the grin gets bigger. It still doesn't reach his eyes.

“We're twins, Stanford.”

The revelation, the understanding, the shock, when it does come, jabs a shard of ice so deeply into Ford's chest that he lets out a little sharp sound.

“..No.”

“Yes,” Stan says, and he's already shedding his suit jacket. “C'mon, switch coats with me. Actually-all of it. We gotta make this count.”

“Stanley,” Ford gasps. “No. We're not- we can't just switch places.”

They had done this prank, this joke, as children all the time. It had worked on teachers, even their parents sometimes, but they were children.

The consequences back then weren't dire. They weren't joking around with the fate of the world, there weren't lives at stake.

Stan has successfully taken off the jacket, and he holds it out with a hand. With the other, he undoes the laces of his shoes. He's wobbly, standing only on one foot, but he's moving quickly.

Ford doesn't take the jacket. The horror of this is sinking in.

“Stan this-it would erase your mind. Your-your memories, everything that makes you a person.”

He would be a shell. A husk. Gutted and swept clean of any experiences, any feeling. A blank eyed old man, quiet and docile. Everything Stan isn't. The thought of it is terrible, it makes Ford sick.

“I mean yeah,” Stan says, far too casually for someone talking about the destruction of their own mind. “But it would stop Bill. We have to stop Bill.”

He raises up his suit jacket until it's in Ford's eye line. He shakes it, just a little.

Stan's eyes are determined, but also desperate.

“Ford. Let,” he swallows and starts again. “We have to do this. You have to let me do this.”

Ford hovers his hand over the jacket, but he can't force himself to grab it. To take it would be an agreement, a deal, this time not for knowledge, but for his brother's very soul. His hand shakes.

Stan doesn't look away. They don't have much time, Ford can see it in his eyes.

“Please.” Stan whispers, and Ford crumbles.

He takes the jacket.

Stan doesn't sigh in relief, he doesn't smile, he just moves. Quickly and methodically, he starts unbuttoning his shirt.

Ford follows suit, takes off his gloves and shoves them in the pockets of his coat, sheds that too. He dumps his clothes on the floor, the boots and his turtleneck.

Stan hands him his button up, and doesn't comment on Ford's scars at all. Ford doesn't comment on his.

As Ford puts it on, he realizes that the shirt is still warm.

The pants are close enough that they don't need to change, but the shoes take the longest for Ford to do up. The laces escape his fingers, over and over, the digits shaking too hard.

He gives up on them, terrified, as a great thunderous rumble echoes in the pyramid above them.

They're running out of time.

“Here.” Stan says, and Ford flinches.

Stan looks like him. The turtleneck and the coat, while predictably fitting him tightly, are still firmly in place. The boots, even. Each detail, except for the hands, matches up.

Stan hands Ford the fez cap.

Ford takes it, and licks over cracked lips to speak. “The fingers.” He says. “How are we going to-Bill would notice.”

“Aw, crap.” Stan pats his sides, likely looking for something that's now in the pockets on Ford's person, and pulls out the gloves.

Ford had sewn them himself, a million years ago. He'd butchered multiple pairs of gloves before he finally figured out how to best sew an allowance for the extra finger. He cut these in half, in between the four fingers on the original glove, and then cut out just the middle finger on another pair, and sewed it on the cut ones. It left a pair of gloves with an extra middle finger, which fit him perfectly.

He remembers being excited about it, waving his hands around and bending all his fingers, watching the fabric stretch and pull, but actually fit.

He'd felt a little bad, back then, destroying another perfectly usable pair of gloves just to make something for himself. Just to fix something that was his own problem.

As he watches Stan slide them on, and stick a pen inside to fill out the extra middle finger, Ford sees the irony in it. In the act of destroying something innocent to cover his own skin.

“That should do it.” Stan grins, and he wiggles his actual fingers in the glove. The middle one is unnaturally stiff, but if he holds his hands straight, and if Cipher doesn't look too carefully, maybe it'll work.

If If If. Maybe Maybe.

Ford slides the fez cap on, until it just barely touches his ears. It covers up his slightly darker hair, at the very least. Stan's hair is a little flatter than his, if you know what you're looking for.

The swap is complete, the puzzle pieces rearranged and shoved into incorrect spots, but at least they lay flat.

Ford can't find something to say.

There are a million things he should say, needs to say, but each time he opens his mouth, the words shrivel up and die in his throat.

He's afraid, and this time it's not for himself.

“Stanley,” he starts to say, forlorn and apologetic, but Stan cuts him off.

“Hold that thought,” he says, and he holds out the memory gun.

Ford freezes.

If he thought taking the jacket was difficult, this is impossible.

He stares at it, and cannot move his arms from his sides. This is a sort of death that is being handed to him. A murder weapon, a destroyer. The rock in Cain's hand. Ford cannot take it.

“It will erase you Stanley,” He says. “All-all of your memories. Your past. Everything. You won't know who you are, who the kids are.”

Who I am. Ford doesn't say. I don't think I could stand it, to see you not know me.

“It's alright,” Stan says. His voice is somehow comforting, despite all this. It's quiet, but strong, unwavering.

It's a hell of a good con.

“It'll be quick.” He says, and it makes Ford suck in a fast gasp.

He squeezes his eyes shut, to force the tears back.

He realizes he's going to have to pull the trigger. He'll need to do it fast, just after the deal is struck, before Stan-before Bill can recover. In a moment, he'll need to wipe his brother's mind of everything it is, everything it was.

Ford will have to do it.

“I can't.” He says. And his voice sounds like the beginning of a sob. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth and suddenly all he can taste is blood, and he doesn't want to reach for the gun at all, he doesn't want to be in his brother's clothes at all, he wants to be away, back in the shack, even back in that cold and dreary basement, at least then he won't have to do this.

“Please Stanley, don't,” there is a tightness in his throat, and it's guilt and it's regret and it's love, love for his brother and Ford can't even say it, can't possibly form it all into enough words so that Stanley will understand.

“Please don't make me do this.” Ford whispers. He sounds like a child.

There is a hand on his, and the handle of the memory gun slips between Ford's fingers. Another hand, warm even through the gloves, curls his fingers around it.

Stan holds the gun steady, until he's sure that Ford has it, that Ford's shaking hand won't drop their last chance. Then, he lets go.

“Sixer,” Stan says, and the name out of his mouth is warm and it makes the pressure in Ford's chest swell. It's nothing like how Bill says it, how he's ever said it.

This nickname is one of care, of childhood boats and dreams, of trust, unbroken and broken.

It's love. Ford can hear it.

Stan's eyes are watering. Still, they hold that same determination, that fire. That life.

Ford tries to hold it in his mind. Soon, soon he will look into blank eyes and that life, the memories of a life will be gone. He tries to hold it, hold on to the sight of it.

“I need to know that you'll do it.” Stan says, and it's the worst thing he's ever said.

It's worse than anything Ford has ever heard. It's worse than anything Ford ever will hear, because there is pleading in his brother's voice. He's pleading to die.

He's asking Ford to pull the trigger.

Ford is a weak man.

In this moment he realizes he's never been strong. He's always been a coward, and a fool, and a terrible brother and a worse man because in this moment, he is weak.

Ford nods. His fingers tighten on the handle of the memory gun, and he slides it carefully into the breast pocket of his brother's suit.

There's a tick of relief in Stan's shoulders.

He smiles, a tiny thing that still manages to look warm. His eyes are wet.

Ford reaches forward. It's been forty years, almost forty one, since Ford has hugged his brother. He cannot remember the last time he did so, and he hopes, god he hopes that Stanley does, that Stan remembers, even for these brief last moments, that at some point Ford cared enough to show how he feels.

Ford reaches forward, to grab, to pull, to hold on, even for the brief moment they have left, before Bill comes in and the show starts, the con falls into place, Ford reaches forward to do something.

Stanley steps away.

He takes a single half step backwards, until Ford's hand can only reach empty air.

“Save it,” he says gently, kindly. “Until after, okay? When, when I remember again.”

Ford is trying so hard to hold back tears that his teeth are chattering ever so slightly.

“Okay?” Stan repeats, and for the first time Ford sees fear in his brother's face, a sort of anxiety that guts him. “We'll, we'll be,”

“It'll be okay.” Ford says. His voice isn't strong, not like his brother's, but he jams that phrase home as hard as he can, like he can prop up his own crumbling resolve with one sentence alone.

“After.” He repeats.

“Until after.” Stan echoes.

Stan takes a big, gusty breath through his nose, and squares his shoulders back. Suddenly the wet eyes are gone, the kind, pleading face is smoothed over, and Stan looks ready.

Ford tries to follow suit. The memory gun weighs his chest down heavily, his jaw won't work properly, but still he tries. He has to be strong, just for this.

Just one more mile.

“Okay.” Stan says, and he slips into the voice of the mask, of a conman, of a man so sure of himself and of every move he's ever made, like he's confident.

“How good is your impression of me?”

.

.

.

I've never really been into AUs for anything before, but Science Time with Dr Pine HAS MY HEART, I just NEEDED to draw some of these.

Will definitely be sketching more of your amazing posts, @aroace-get-out-of-my-face (hope you don't mind the tag!) I loved reading them so much oughh

Oh and the first two drawings are based off of number 6 from this post and the third one is from this!

god I hate this

Stanford Pines should challenge Dr. Pine to a rap battle

Alright. I have something like 200 followers and this Science Time with Dr Pine AU is blowing the hell up. That means, statistically, some of you guys have to be good at coming up with rap verses. I need to go to bed, but when I wake up I am expecting at least a COUPLE rap verses between these two, on my desk. Cmon you guys, I know someone out there has been waiting for this opportunity.

I'm a lil unfamiliar with your puppet AU but there is something wholesome to me about how Ford is mad at the puppet and not Stan, or at least acts that way. He doesn't say "Stan stop being an idiot and using that puppet. I know it's you!"

No, it's more like "Stanley, stay out of this. This is between me and that muppet ass felt skin!"

Like??? He's playing along and it's so damn cute!!

I've done a lot of art for it but it's not my au!! The original concept was by @babyblankyerror and it was expanded by @aroace-get-out-of-my-face. (Both their posts on this au are an absolute delight to go through if you'd like to catch up!)

This au is so perfectly wholesome and silly, and it's just completely taken over my brain space (and subsequently what I draw). I mean Ford was so caught up in building a literal hate room for a puppet that he never even summoned Bill in this au, which is just so funny to me

The fact is that Ford genuinely loves Poppy Avenue (the show that Science Time with Dr Pine is on) but it's that damn puppet that gets him. He just cannot STAND Dr Pine, yet holds no resentment towards Stan for it. They're actually pretty close in this au if anything, which makes the dichotomy of Ford's rage even more hilarious.

I mean Ford is obviously aware of the fact that Stan is pupetting (is that a word??) Dr Pine, but his rage is always entirely directed towards the puppet.

And I imagine that when Ford recognizes Stan's voice when he's pupetting (???) other puppets on Poppy Avenue he's all "aw my brother," but as soon as Dr Pine comes on, he's immediately swearing madly at the screen or just barely containing his rage.

the infamous thigh high ask @pinefamilycatsau since you asked so kindly

Ford does that little startled snort when he wakes up. You know the one