I Know I Just Posted This, But Writing That Made Me Feel So Eerily Calm That I Got Scared For A Second,

Tell me why it's 1 AM, and I just made pancakes for breakfast in advance while listening to this song on repeat. Even as I eat one pancake on my bed, I am still listening to this ear candy.

As this new week rolls in and it's the last week of April , remember it’s okay if you’re not feeling 100% ready. Most people aren’t. You don’t have to wake up every day with perfect energy or a perfect plan. Some mornings you’ll move fast, some mornings you’ll drag yourself through , both count. What matters is that you try. This week will have its messy moments late nights, forgotten tasks, small mistakes that make you question yourself. It's normal. It happens to everyone who’s aiming for something at the end of the week of even the day . So don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go exactly the way you pictured. Focus on doing what you can, when you can. Focus on staying honest with yourself not pretending you’re fine when you’re not, but also not giving up just because it gets uncomfortable. Progress feels boring sometimes ikr . Growth feels invisible sometimes. But if you keep moving, even in the smallest ways, you are winning. Trust that the work you’re doing, even the hard parts, is building something you’ll be proud of later.

@bloomzone

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There's this morbid nostalgia in craving the pleasure pain of losing your milk teeth... Ive been feeling that recently. It has motivated me to explore a thought I had and decided to group with my alter ego; and potentially publish a novella under her in my 20s.

This has been fueled more after starting Hannibal, am I crazy idk... But god do I think about the sweet pain of twisting my loose teeth in my raw tearing gums and hearing it rip out with so much wicked joy I can feel the rush.... OK thats enough for now...

Today I did grocery shopping, helped cook, danced around to loosen up since its day 4 of my period and I don't bleed out so I felt happy lol, i posted on my alt, and binged Hannibal, just had a snack and gonna doze off to Hannibal x

OK so here's some of my works 😛

(edit: why does tblr blur the preview urghhhh, plz plz plz, click on the image to see the best quality)

The one I finished yesterday (that's not poop guys, it's a raisin swirl Danish pastry💔)

More from my sketchbook:

1 and 2 are just glimpses of what I look like, I think the second one is more accurate 😼

This is my fav lol^

Then the big guys:

The first one is a self portrait for the prompt escape which was for my Year 11 art finals, I got a B 😄 (they snubbed me 😒, but I didn't have the best art teachers, so I'm self-taught. I felt overwhelmed when I piled the components; I did everything by myself, so I don't mind, and I'm proud of my grade)

Click all to view on full plz🙏

As you can tell I enjoy drawing faces, and not painting them/using colors on them. I would go to the Mars before that happens (I'm afraid of color on faces 💔)

Me and graphite are attached on the hip (I like being able to erase mistakes 😓)

OK bye

@2456788sworld since you asked teehee

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Need to be my mc since yesterday, she's gorge I wanted her more than matthias 😻😼

Yes I play interactive games like THTH, episodes and choices or wtv AND LADS<3. What else was i gonna say bout it.... Speaking of, I should get episodes again, I'm done with too hot to handle already 😝.

It’s All About Perspective:

Sometimes, all it takes is a quarter turn.

That dried paint blob: smeared, ugly, accidental — can become a dancing figure with big shoes, a biker, an abstract expression, if you just tilt it. And what if your life is the same? What if you’re not broken, lazy, or lost, but simply looking at your own story from the wrong side?

We’ve all been there. Hair greasy, phone hot from hours of scrolling, a million open tabs and zero opened dreams. You’re rotting in bed, flicking from one TikTok to another, laughing, then crying, then dissociating, watching other people live out the things you swore you’d do. It’s addicting. Comfortable. Even aesthetic. "Girl rot" became a moodboard, for Christ's sake but no one tells you that staying there too long leaves you hollow.

But here’s the truth, my dear angels: you’re not the paint blob. You’re the hand turning the page. You decide the angle.

So how do you shift perspective when everything feels heavy? When life is a loop of doomscrolls, late-night existential spirals, and the occasional burst of fake motivation?

You start slow. You start small. You turn the page.

Maybe I'll post something about this topic tomorrow :)

20 question to ask yourself to find your sun

inspired from heya by ive the members represent the tigers who want to eat the sun !

the myth

(the story is so long I cut it out btw)

There is an old Korean legend of a tiger, fierce and restless, who climbed mountains in pursuit of the sun . Some say he wanted to devour it, to claim its light for himself. Others say he was drawn to its warmth, its brilliance, its quiet power. But what the story truly tells us is this:the sun cannot be taken by force. It can only be reached by the one who climbs with a pure heart.In this life, we are all climbing. Each of us faces our own mountains doubt, fear, failure, the weight of the world... And within us, like the tiger, burns a hunger: to find meaning, to become something more, to reach a dream that feels impossibly far.

this story reminds us no matter how high the peak, no matter how long the journey, if your heart is sincere and your vision clear, you will reach your sun.

Inner Longing & direction:

1. What "sun" (goal, activity, feeling) do I find myself staring at longingly, day after day?

2. What pulls me forward, even when I can't fully explain why?

3. If I felt free to chase anything without fear of failure, what would it be?

4. What activities make me feel most alive and connected to something bigger than myself?

5. What inner "fire" feels like it's burning within me, waiting to be ignited?

Obstacles & perseverance:

6. What "rivers and forests" (challenges, obstacles) might I face on this journey?

7. What voices might tell me I'm foolish for pursuing this?

8. How can I stay motivated even when the "sun" seems too far away?

9. What does perseverance mean to me in this context?

10. What am I willing to sacrifice or endure to get closer to my "sun"?

Meaning & transformation:

11. What does my "sun" represent to me (e.g., enlightenment, creativity, connection, impact)?

12. What kind of person will I become if I pursue this goal with all my heart?

13. How will this journey transform me, regardless of the outcome?

14. What lessons might I learn along the way?

15. Even if I don't reach my "sun," what value will I gain from the pursuit?

Action & clarity:

16. What is one small step I can take today to start moving towards my "sun"?

17. Who can I reach out to for support or guidance on this journey?

18. What resources do I need to gather to help me on my path?

19. How can I measure my progress and stay accountable?

20. What does success look like to me, and how will I celebrate it (even the small wins)?

@bloomzone ⌨️

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:0 the date 2005!

Today I tried to complete the painting I started yesterday, but ehh, will finish tomorrow once I get over the overthinking phase.

I did pilates as usual today, and I'm seriously thinking about actually going ahead with signing one of the 2 modelling contracts offered to me, but my mom won't let me 💔but I want to take it (modelling) seriously urghhhh.

Idkkk, and I should actually finish with the uni stuff, idk idk idkkekjskaksvdndksksk I did NOT plan to be alive to experience this moment oh my gooooddddddddddd😖

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Woke up late, hospital visit, mall walk, FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO ASK IF KFC WAS HIRING AND THEY SAID YES WOOHOO, ate KFC and saw that the manager gave me 2 extra chicken pieces 🤭 (he wants me to apply so baddddd), bed rot, study Italian while simping on Dr. House yet again, gonna draw some ocs before bed while, you guessed it, simping on Dr. House 😝.

K bye x

200325

Today also has a pretty date imo.

Why did no one tell me that YouTube is no longer available on my iPhone 6+

WHY WHY WHY WHY 😭😭😭💔💔💔

Anyways, did nothing much today, except exist and editing my invite only YouTube video for my friends 😊

Keep in mind, I am 180cm tall, that is 5'11, and I checked the agency, its legit and they came to my country to scout for potential new models. I also feel like they don't have that many Black girls signed to them which is why they're scouting on my ends. I'm anxious coz I'm not exactly the skinny type they have on their site, but I'm also not chubby, I'd say my weight is OK for my height, on the leaner side.

I've had dreams of modelling because I love my height so much, like soooo much. But I get anxious thinking I'll walk weirdly or make a fool out of myself in front of the panel... I might think I'm eating up the walk, but in reality my body moves awkwardly and rigidly 😭.

oh to be loved, to be adored, to be obsessed over, to be noticed, to be heard, to be touched, to be desired