idia ! :D
MALLEUS DRACONIA
evil bastard
listens to nicki minaj on his nokia 3000 (bought his absolute brick of a phone from sam’s 1 Thaumark Sale so nicki is Very Staticky) as he sits cross legged on his chair, plotting revenge on the plebeians who have been unfairly Hogging your attention for the past week
ever since you joined his Gargoyle Study Club, an influx of nrc students started mass applying to join in your stead
was ecstatic at first. made everyone Homemade Gargoyle Shirts that say I ❤️ GARGOYLES on the front until he quickly realized his beloved gargoyle study club had morphed into the Y/N Dating Club
first off. no one knows you’re dating. sebek banned the two of you from ever going public with your relationship because it “tainted the reputation of our lord and savior malleus” and also “stripped him of his lovely (spiritual) fertile maiden’s bosom”.
???????
fertile???? maidens????? bosom?????
Basically No One Knows Your Dating. which means you are free real estate and the population of nrc want to move in!
malleus gets jealous incredibly easy because he thinks (THINKS) he is a Certified Expert With a Masters Degree on the topic of knowing when people are into you. (He is Not)
he Fell in love with you so everyone else has to be Stupid to also not fall in love with you
like why are you breathing so cutely? why are you walking so prettily? why are you speaking so breathtakingly??? is enraged if anyone disagrees with him but is also enraged if anyone agrees with him.
basically :
“yeah, i have a crush on y/n”
malleus: ٩(╬ʘ益ʘ╬)۶
“no, what? i don’t have a crush on them…”
malleus, breathing heavily: ٩(╬ʘ益ʘ╬)۶
tends to get clingy when you’re talking with someone else
oh? you’re talking with another guy? he’s wrapping his arm around your waist. oh? you’re working with another guy on a school project? he’s intertwining your hands together.
ends up getting so jealous with everyone in his Gargoyle Study Club that he comes up with a Genius Idea (it’s not genius) (it’s horrendous) (and a little insulting)
bans everyone in the club from attending or joining Any Club That Is Hosted By Malleus Draconia for. personal reasons.
blocks sebek on his nokia and sends out a formally penned letter to everyone in NRC that he is dating you.
you’re ??????? at why the Gargoyle Study Club has suddenly dropped from 27 members to 2 members in the span of a day. and why you got a whole thesis paper on malleus’s dating life.
malleus starts walking you to classes everyday and is the Perfect Charming Boyfriend to everyone around him
meanwhile. sebek purchases a flamethrower
Continuar lendo
Hi! Anon from the Floyd and Idia asks I was wondering if you were okay with having anons sign off with emojis if you are then I’ll start signing off with a 🦭 just cuz he’s super silly yknow :D
HII WELCOME BACK <3 I loved to answer those asks, thank you for sending them!! of course, that's completely fine! he's really just a silly guy goofing around, good for him!
Che'nya always had fun around you. you always had fun around him. you make a great duo! it starts off as friends getting up to some shenanigans together and having some fun! that is, until he felt his heart start to beat faster around you. huh. and you felt your cheeks getting warmer around him. huh. how weird. and he thinks it would be really nice to kiss you. and you think it would be really nice to hold him. oh. oh! alright, so it's like that.
"Che'nya, there's something I have to tell you."
"oh? what is it?"
"I think I might be in love with you." you just stare at each other. your hands are clammy and your heart is about to give you a cardiac arrest with how fast it's beating.
"you think so?"
"well, I'm pretty sure."
his grin widens, ears perking up "in this case, I think I might be in love with you too."
you can't stop your smile "you think so?"
"hmm, I'm pretty sure, yes."
congrats you've got a boyfriend now!
get! matching! accessories! earrings, necklace, rings, anything! Che'nya would love it if you share the same appreciation for odd jewelry as he does! this ring might be a bit too big, but look at how colorful it is! this necklace has way too many chains, but isn't the kitty pendant cute? this clock earring is quite nice! what do you mean the clock is broken? that's the charm!
he WILL call you the strangest pet names. this man has no shame whatsoever. he can say the most out of pocket things without flinching or feeling any embarrassment, that applies to his nicknames for you as well. there is no escape, just accept it. the sooner you do the least embarrassed you will be once he calls you "drowsy dormousey" in front of your friends (shut up Ace shut up shut up he's cute so he can do that ok. no, you can't, you only sound goofy when you do). call him your little meow meow, he will be delighted.
he's surprisingly good at giving advice when you need it! just get through his enigmatic wording first and you'll find it very helpful! he's great with giving directions and showing the right path! Che'nya is very smart, after all, he just expresses himself in a rather odd way. he's someone you can count on!
for your dates, if you're not spending the day in each other's schools causing chaos and havoc (and a migraine for Riddle) or chilling in your room with cuddles and cat naps, then you're out in the city! you still don't know much about the Isle of Sages, since you scarcely leave NRC, or about the little town there. worry not, Che'nya has explored it throughly and will show you exciting new places! his favorite cafe, that one famous pâtisserie, a nice clothes shop or the beach! whenever there is a new event on the island, be it a music show or a cultural fair, Che'nya will want to go with you. you can't lose an opportunity to have fun together!
when it comes to grades, he's one of the best on his class. that's great, you two should study together! that's what you think, right? well, no, you shouldn't. if you think studying with Ace, Deuce and Grim is chaotic, that's because you didn't try to have a study session with Che'nya. oh, you're confused about this alchemy question? how about he tries to explain in a metaphor that will confuse you even more! you want to ask him questions with flashcards? he will overcomplicate the questions and then turn them on you. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ask his help in animal linguistics. he will only talk in cat puns. and most likely meow at you. for a good while. so don't, just don't.
on the rare occasion Che'nya is annoyed or irritated with something, you can tell right away, he doesn't bother trying to hide it. his ears fall flatly against his head, his tail is down and swishing agitatedly and even if he still has the smile on his face you can tell it doesn't reach his eyes. he gets less energetic and doesn't move around so much, sometimes even being stiff. in this case, the best thing to do is to recharge with lots of cuddles and head scratches. eventually he might open up to what's on his mind! be it in riddles or in a straightforward way, just having someone to hear it without judgment already makes him feel better.
he loves hand-made gifts, both giving and recieving! it's easier to put your thoughts and emotions on them and they become more personal. whatever it is that you make him, he will cherish it! you cooked him lunch? he's going to praise all the flavors and savour every bite like it's the last meal he'll eat (he might do an impression of a renomed chef judging your cooking with the most exagerated expressions though)! you drew something for him? it's going on his bedroom wall right now, he will show it to whoever goes there, he might even make a little patch of it (it explains why he's got a shirt with a mix of different flowers patches alongside a sketch of Grim sleeping on Trein's class. he loves wearing it when he visits. Grim hates it and has tried on multiple occasions to get rid of it, with no success so far)! you grew a little plant for him? that's his son now, that plant is going to live the best life, he will song a lullaby to it before going to sleep (luckly he doesn't share his room with anyone, or else there would be way too many complaints about a cat serenading late at night. he says the plant is his dormmate and it loves his songs, thank you very much)!
he drags you to RSA at the very least once. it's actually a lot of fun! everyone is really nice, the castle is beautiful and makes you feel like royalty just by being there, Che'nya's room is super comfortable to spend time in, and, most important of all, the both of you can and will prank people without you having to worry about the payback! and their reactions are really funny too! it's great! that is, until Riddle blows up your phone furiously demanding you to come back this instant. Cater is losing it on the background about how you've got more Magicam followers than he does in less than an hour. Che'nya shows you a picture he took of you and Neige LeBlanche together. it's on Neige's Magicam page. congrats, you're a Magicam subcelebrity now! I hope it was worth the punishment Riddle will give you for breaking the rules!
("I'm not even at your dorm."
"you're still a student of Night Raven College and are expected to follow it's rules!"
"yeah, why did you have to go to RSA of all places, you traitor!"
"shut up Ace, you just wish you were there too.")
Che'nya sews his own clothes! of course, not all of them, but most have at least some modification he did to fit his alternative style more. sometimes he stays up late to sew, since, according to him, the best ideas come at the oddest of times. maybe that explains why they look like that, but you can't help but be fond of them, especially after seeing how much effort he puts into it and how proud he is!
so you steal his clothes. they are comfy and big on you and so so soft and smell like him and are very comfy. did I mention how soft they are? they don't match with any other clothes you have, but you wear them anyway. that one hoodie with the playing card suits patches he made thinking of his friends in Heartslabyul? it's yours now. you wear it on every unbirthday party you crash into are invited to. Riddle says it looks familiar, you just smile and try to look clueless, Trey covers his laugh on the background. Che'nya tells you if you like his clothes so much he can sew some for you as well, just paw-lease give back his favorite striped shirt. you say you'll think about it. (you don't ♡). then, your mushroom shirt mysteriously disappears. Che'nya looks a lot like the cat that got the cream.
"what are you smiling smugly about?"
"there's always something to smile about, don't you think so?"
you squint your eyes at him. his smile widens mischievously. "you've got my shirt don't you." it's not a question.
"I have no idea what you're talking about~" oh he so does.
that's how the clothes war started. honestly, at this point you're not even sure which ones were his and which were yours.
("you do, mine are so different!"
"hmm, nope, no idea.")
well, more clothes for you!! you use his purple doc martens once with the most mismatched socks in history. Riddle looks at you like you've commited some crime (you did, against fashion itself. maybe there is a rule against this? surely?). Che'nya threatens to tell Trey to put a sweets ban on you. you give his boots back. (the socks stay with you though.)
you'll always find yourself smiling by his side, he's up to some shenanigan of some sort all the time or has a funny story to tell. look, you'll have to endure the constant cat puns and sometimes even dad jokes here and there, but he makes you laugh so much you could be called a cheshire cat yourself.
("I love you the meowest!"
"there you go."
"I'll love you fur-ever!" you hold your smile, but he can tell you're amused anyway
"that was claw-ful." he smiles wide, so wide you actually wonder just how wide can his mouth open. "I can't believe I just said this, look what you're doing to me."
"no, no, it was paw-some!" that's what you've signed yourself to, fur-end.)
there's never a lack of entertainment around! if you start to get bored, don't worry, he knows just the thing <3
"let's cause some trouble together!"
"you're impossible, you know."
"not impossible, merely unpossible."
"whatever you say. anyway, who are we going to perturb today?"
"there are these freshmen in Heartslabyul..."
"I'm in."
"Of course mew are!"
look, if you don't really like physical affection, he'll respect that as best as he can, but he can get a bit needy.
"purr-lease spare some headpats for a poor kitty in need."
"alright, sure." his ears perk up, it's pretty cute even. you let him wait a few seconds more before looking both ways and then to him again "where's this poor kitty anyway?"
he WILL whine about it how COULD YOU do this to him WHY are you so mean to your boyfriend. just give him the headpats after you've got your laugh and he'll stop complaining.
now, if you are affectionate like him, then expect him to take full advantage of that. hugs everytime you see each other, holding hands if you're walking together, drapping his arm across your shoulders, playing footsie under the table, throwing himself on your lap and demaning for head scratches, wraping his tail around your wrist, propping his chin on your head, nicking on your neck playfully, kissing your cheeks, cuddles and snuggles, holding your waist and nuzzling his head on your shoulder. if you scratch under his chin or behind his ears or brush his tail he will purr SO loud and have the sappiest smile, no shame at all. give him a little kiss for good measure.
he can be cute when he wants to! asking Trey to bake your favorite sweets, giving you flowers that reminded him of you, singing silly tunes, sewing some patch that represents you or leaving little notes around your room (that are mostly confusing, but endearing nonetheless). although if he's in the mood to tease you (which is most of the time. like, at least 86% of it), good luck. hope you don't get flustered or scared easily, because he will use his Unique Magic to mess with you. (lovingly, of course! he never means to actually upset you!)
feeling lonely? BAM there's a floating head to keep you company! hey why are you screaming? no worries, it's just your menace of a boyfriend <3
he'll tickle you and give you little kisses all over while invisible. try to guess where he is~ if you get it right, he might even have a prize for you!
"is it a hundred thaumarks?"
"maybe yes, maybe no, who knows~"
"you literally know."
"know? know what? there are some things I do and some things I don't."
"I'll pull on your tail if you keep it up."
"you'll have to find it first, though." he laughs. you flawlessly catch his tail. he was rubbing it softly against your side, after all, and you know him well enough by now to have a good idea of where it would be.
"well, where's my prize?" he appears fully before you and gives you a kiss on the nose, disappearing again. "ah? where's my hundred thaumarks?" you pull lightly on his tail, relishing on the whiny protest sound he lets out.
"I'm just kitting" he appears before you again, a pout on his lips.
you just stare at him, unimpressed. "well?"
"here is the true prize!" he presses a light kiss against your lips, ready to pull away again before your hands cup his cheeks and keep him in place, foreheads touching.
"hm, I'll have to enjoy it to the fullest, yes? that's only fair."
"how purr-suasive. I'll indulge you then." your lips meet again, and again, and again. seems like the prize was worth it after all~
whenever Che'nya visits NRC, Grim will be FIGHTING for your attention (not literally, at least not after he put one of the walls of ramshackle on fire and you didn't buy him any tuna for a whole week. he's learnt his lesson this time).
"you gotta choose who is your favorite, henchman! Me, the greatest mage Grim, or that annoying cat!"
"Grim, you know I love both of you a lot, yes?"
"but you love me more, right?"
you just sigh and shake your head, no point in trying to argue with him. Che'nya laughs from where his head is smushed against your stomach, finding the situation rather amusing as Grim tries to brag about his 'victory' and you play with his hair.
this one-sided animosity begun when you and Che'nya started dating and he went to spend a day at your dorm. he just happened to pick Grim's favorite spot on the sofa and, on top of that, you didn't give Grim any attention or defend his spot! and it doesn't end there! you even let your boyfriend eat some of Grim's premium tuna! (Grim also ate it, since you made everyone tuna sandwiches, but this isn't the point.) and he had to endure his terrible awful horrible no good very bad cat puns!
on Che'nya's end, he finds the whole thing rather entertaining. sometimes he swishes his tail in front of Grim to watch your dormmate try to catch it, a concentrated look on his face. it's cute, so you let them be.
if you don't get along with his best friends- yes you do. you won't have a choice, you'll have to at least tolerate them with how often you'll be meeting each other. plus, Trey and Riddle mean a lot for Che'nya, so it makes him really happy to see his favorite people in the world getting along! Trey is glad Che'nya found someone that makes him so giddy and that doesn't mind his oddity.
("he always sends me a text whenever you do something he finds cute. he texts me everyday now."
"he better not be sending any photos."
"oh, don't worry, if anything you'll like it."
Trey procceds to show you the many silly selfies Che'nya sends him. Che'nya arrives in the middle of it but only shows himself when you are going to ask Trey to send them to you. "if you like my face so meow-ch, you should just tell me~")
Riddle is more low-key about it, but he always smiles at you when you crash his unbirthday parties and lets you and Grim stay until the end, so that means you're in his good books for bringing so much happiness to his friend.
("aw man, why does Riddle only lets you get away from taking extra slices of tart?"
"well, Ace, maybe he just didn't see it."
"he definetly did, he even nodded on your direction before turning his head to pretend he didn't."
"oh Deuce, you must have imagined it."
"who cares, what matters is that I get more tart to eat later!"
"so true Grim, so true.")
him and Cater are friends as well, since they met each other on their first year through their mutual friend, Trey. Cater takes photos of his looks because they are 'super magicamable' and slides his plate with sweets under the table for Che'nya to eat on unbirthday parties. (Trey spent a long time thinking Cater loved blueberry muffins since he always took a lot of these, and baked extras for him. Che'nya was not complaining). Cater always seems to know what's happening everywhere, even on RSA, before anyone else. how does he do that? of course, him and Che'nya like to trade gossip about their respective schools (you are added to their group chat eventually. you know the names of students you've never even seen before and most likely never will). if Cater posts a picture with the two of you, you're either:
a) going to flirt on the comments between you two.
("oh? who is this cute kitty on the photo?"
"hmm, I don't know, I was more interested in looking at the beauty by his side!"
"stop flirting on my posts you two please")
OR
b) going to flirt WITH cater. yes both of you. yes some people might have thought there was some cheating scandal between the three of you. Cater loved it since his picture got more traction this way, Che'nya loved it because the theories were really funny and you loved it because the things these two sent on your gossip group chat were wild.
("Cay-Cay, you're looking so handsome on this picture, I couldn't look at anything else~"
"thank you Che'nya, you look quite cute yourself~"
and
"Cay-Cay, when are we going out like this again? I had a loooot of fun with you ♡"
"me too prefect, we'll have to make new plans soon, for just the two of us ☆")
when it comes to your friends, Che'nya likes to tease and prank them a lot, but he is pretty chill overall. Deuce always get scared of his disappearing act and Ace laughs at him, right before jumping in surprise once Che'nya appears behind him, only your boyfriend's cheeky grin to show where he is. he likes watching Ace doing magic tricks with cards and Deuce calling him to a race. if there's one thing these three are absolutely chaotic at is palying games together, be it board games, card games or video games. Che'nya tries to make up rules on spot, Ace argues with him when it's bad for him but agrees if it's advantageous, Deuce is confused and getting low key gaslighted on basic rules. by the end of the game, your stomach is hurting from how much you laughed trying to play with them.
("wait, Deuce, since you played a four, you need to clap your hands three times or else you'll have to fish a card."
"but the last four Ace played you said he had an extra turn and could play again!"
"well, that's because it was a red four, and yours is yellow, so it's different."
"I don't remember these being Uno rules. what do you think, Ace?"
"he's right, now you better buy that card because it's my turn!")
in conclusion: he'll tease you a lot, he can be quite confusing, his fashion sense is rather odd, he's got some terrible jokes, he acts like a clingy cat most of the time and you are not safe from his pranks, even if you're dating him. but still, he finds you to be the cutest person in the world, no matter what you're doing, he can't never get bored around you! he's giving you plenty of affection every day, bringing you little gifts, messaging you things that he thought you'd like, showing you his favorite people and things and places! your smile is the prettiest thing he's ever seen, and he'll make sure to keep seeing it every day by making you happy.
life is very interesting with a boyfriend like him, get ready for some excitement!
Masterlist
JADE ROMCOM IS DONE!!! I was giggling and blushing writing the ending fr fr, I'm really fond of how it turned out <3 I'll make some last minute edits and get it posted before going to sleep!
Oh ace and deuce definitely have got to have some references to tweedle dee and dum ,as for sebek definitely tik tok croc (and the fact that hes just loud cause lightning is well loud)
OH ANON YOU'VE GOT A POINT, imagine Adeuce wearing their silly clothes and completing each other's phrases (they would end up throwing hands for sure)
I tried to think smth other than Tick Tock for Bebek but taking the lightning aspect I could only think of Lightning McQueen 💀 so... Tick Tock is more probable... I can't think of any character from Sleeping Beauty that would fit him
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE ON MY BARBATOS WORK but you must know i am obsessed with u having a potted plant of four leaf clovers and then the image of just your dog being like GRASS!! GRASS!! I EAT LIKE COW!! Since my own dog likes chewing grass as well skfjdjdns you're such a unique person omg that story is something so special
AQUA I LOVE YOUR WRITING SOOO MUCH YOU NEVER FAIL TO IMPRESS ME!!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING WITH US IT WAS SO SWEET!!! just imagining barbatos in full butler clothes trying to find four leaf clovers with mc is such a charming scene. love is stored in the little things!!!
IT WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT and I liked my little plant so much but my dog was a MENACE and loved to eat grass. we also have a barbados cherry tree and she'd dig the earth all the time and make a huge mess. I'll not even get started on the potted strawberries seedlings. it was a bit funny tho because none of my other dogs did that, ONLY her
CHERRY 😭😭😭 DON'T BULLY ME
(sorry the poor made edit) I just realized something...
Silver from twst for the character bingo👀
hi anon!! funfact: Silver was the one that got me into twst in the first place, so... there's that
I LOVE HIM. A NORMAL AMOUNT. (REAL)
honestly the way he looks so serious and withdrawn but in reality he's just quiet and soft... how animals love him... how he loves his father above everything... how he's a capable knight... how he's sweet and gentle helping others... Silver <3
I'm holding him gently and pressing a kiss to his forehead rn !!!
he looks like a prince... he acts like a prince... I KNOW he'd treat me like a prince... he's sooooooooo *sighs dreamly*
HIS FAMILY DYNAMIC WITH DIASOMNIA it's so cute... he acts like Sebek's older brother it's so funny seeing them bicker with each other... and how he respects and admires Malleus so much... don't get me started on his father and son relationship with Lilia it's literally the cutest
it's so sad how he's forgotten by the fandom like 😭 I know we don't have that much canon content of him yet but please appreciate him more 😭
and I'm REALLY excited for chap7 to bring more of him and (hopefully) expand on his backstory, praying everyday we'll get more Silver content soon 🙏 tho I'm preparing myself for the angst... if he's hurt in any way I WILL throw hands...
shameless promo but have you read this fic??? pls it had me kicking my feet and screaming into my pillow... Silver.............. when he's soooooo....... OR OR this one... SCREAMING it hurts in the best way
You cannot convince me Idia smells like anything other than clean laundry like yeah he stays inside a lot and is a gamer but there’s no way his room isn’t clean he probably cleans it weekly and hates smelling bad (by a clean room I mean it’s messy but he doesn’t just leave dirty laundry everywhere) I don’t care how much of a degenerate he might seem like I swear this man would walk outside of his room and you can smell the clean laundry he’s wearing and how he smells like freshly washed bed sheets -🦭
hiii 🦭 anon, you're back with the hot takes on Idia!!
ooh I can see it! since he (and the rest of Ignihyde) stays in his room for such a long time, it's important to mantain it as a clean space! not only that, but he also uses it to work on his inventions, so keeping trash and other stuff scattered around wouldn't be good.
it's also a break of expectation in the Nerd Gamer stereotype that I've talked before! people expect him to be unhygienic because he's always holed up in his room and stays in front of his computer for hours without breaks, but that doesn't mean he can't take care of himself.
it's as you said: Idia's room might be a bit messy, but it's not dirty. his bed is unmade but there aren't any used clothes thrown on it, there are books on the floor but all in little piles to not occupy much room, there are some boxes with tech pieces but it's most likely because it's something he uses often and needs to have close by for easy access.
I'm not sure how exactly laundry works at NRC, but I think each student has to take care of their own (judging by how Ruggie also does Leona's). Idia might not leave his room often, even if the laundry room is still inside his dormitory, but if anything his clothes are always clean because there's NO WAY Ortho would let his big brother walk around in dirty clothes.
Ortho is probably a big help in the cleaning aspect, as he doesn't make messes and takes care of Idia's well being. even if Idia stays the whole day binging some limited time event of one of his games, Ortho will ensure he takes a bath afterwards and gets a change of clothes.
as you mentioned, anon, Idia's parents have a health related business, and as such I believe they'd value hygiene a lot, so Idia might be used to being clean.
though it's funny to think what would happen should he take a shower because like... does his hair just... goes off? how does he take care of it? is there any special product he can use or is it literally some magical fire that do as it pleases on his head?
about his scent, I think he might have a bit of that stuffy room smell, since he does stay in most of the time, but also smoky because... his hair is on fire, you know.
though I can also see him smelling like clean laundry! I belive he wouldn't like strong cleaning products, so it'd be more of a subtle scent. since Idia cares so much about what other's think of him, unless he's about to go on a super stealthy late night snack run, he'd do his best to wear presentable and fresh clothes, no need to give anyone more reasons to mock him.
thank you 🦭 anon, I've never thought about it like that before, but it does make sense! I love your takes, please continue to spread the loving Idia agenda!
CHERRY I'M GIGGLING OUT LOUD AT THIS
"please spare a moment to hear about our most wonderful club full of fascinating activities -PUT THE BROOM AWAY- I'm sure you'll love it if you give it a chance!!! I even brought a mushroom casserole of questionable quality for you 🥺 -I SAID TO PUT THE BROOM AWAY-"
instead of running to the sunset we run to the sunrise while you chase us away from your house (for now)
No one:
Jade: Let me tell you about the wonderful Mountain Lovers Club
"Oh, you can’t help that, we’re all mad here. I'm mad. You’re mad. You must be or you wouldn't have come here."
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