Dealing With The Worst Case Scenario

Forever and a Day [Bucky x Reader] Part 3/5

Forever and a Day

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, mentions of Peggy x Steve

Rating: T/PG-13

No spoilers for Civil War. This takes place after The Winter Soldier.

Summary: You spent your youth as a friend to Steve and a lover to Bucky. But the three of you were not destined for normal lives and now the past has begun to catch up to you.

Tags: @thebestofoneshots @2muchcandygonnarotursoul

Notes: Thank you guys for your patience. This has been a hard week and I really appreciated all the support and condolences. 

Part 1 | Part 2

Part Three:

Waiting for word from Tony was almost physically painful for you.

For a long time, life had become routine and mundane. You told yourself you liked it that way. In truth, you simply accepted it as your fate. But now life was anything but boring, and you found yourself both terrified and thrilled at the prospect of change.

Steve wasn’t waiting to hear back from Tony. He and Sam were already hard at work chasing any lead they could find. You felt guilty not doing the same, but you had no leads and no other connections. Tony’s facial recognition tracking program was your best bet. If none of Steve’s leads panned out, then at least you could hold out hope that Tony would come through for you.

No matter if his mission had gone poorly that day or not, Steve made an effort to check in every day. Things were still a bit stilted between the two of you. There were a lot of hurt feelings on his side, you knew, but now was not the time to hash things out. Bucky was of the utmost importance, he was all that mattered.

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Looking for mutuals

What I reblog the most is: • Netflix Marvel (Defenders, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Punisher) • Marvel MCU (Including Agent Carter) • DC TV (Arrow, Flash, Supergirl, Legends) • Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire • Yuri!!! on Ice • Sense8 • Lucifer (Fox TV Series) • Wonder Woman • American Gods

I also follow • Katie McGrath • Sebastian Stan • Hayley Atwell

My usual ships are • Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers • Lena Luthor/Kara Danvers • Yuuri Katsuki/Victor Nikiforov

Occasionally I will spam my blog depending on which series I watch at the moment. Like/Reblog if you are interested c: Hate free blog!

Omg so cooool

MCU + 2019 calendar. End of an era.

NEW ‘DOCTOR STRANGE’ POSTERS RELEASED!

Because telling fat people that they are in fact humans that deserve dignity and respect automatically means you’re ~*GLORIFYING OBESITY*~

By the way, don’t dribble on to me saying you worry about a fat person’s ‘health’. That’s just a bullshit excuse to voice your unwanted opinion on a fat person’s body considering you wouldn’t give a single flying fuckadoodle about someone’s health if they were skinny. Besides another person’s health is none of your damned business anyway. Run along now and preach to a choir that actually cares.

I’m going to be honest, so long as you’re not hurting anyone, you can eat soy sauce and milk duds all day long for all I care.

:0

Hurts like hell (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Y/N and Steve used to secretely date when Steve dies and she had to deal with his death. Based by the song Hurts like hell by fleurie.

A/N:I love that song and I cried during this!

How can I say this without breaking?

You walked out of the cemetery and got in your car. You and Steve met each other four years ago when he woke up from the ice. Since then you loved each other but decided to do it secretely, away from the others. But he died. Yes, being an avenger meant sacrifing your life but you didn’t know it hurts like this.

You’ve seen him dying in front of your eyes and couldn’t do anything. He was by side your many times and saved you several times but you couldn’t return it. From then you only cried. No smiling or laughing. Yes, the others were sad too, but not like you were. You had to take Bucky, Sam and Wanda with you in the car. Wanda knew about you and Steve. She was the only one that could understand you this time.

“Y/N, we know you’re sad about Steve, we all are, but, you need to calm down.” Bucky told you grabbing your shoulder with his human arm.

How can I say this without taking over?

“I can’t, Bucky. Steve was my.. Friend. How can I calm down?” You couldn’t see well and you were tired.“Sam can you take the weel for me please? I’m not in position to drive right now.” He nodded and sat in the front sit. Wanda wrapped her arms around you to calm tou down.

How can I put it down into words?

“It was all my fault.” You murmured.

“No Y/n. It wasn’t your fault. Please stop saying that.” Sam said giving you a small smile and brushing circles with his fingers on your knee.

An image popped in your mind. Steve was returning from a mission back to the tower and you decided to go see of everything was alright. He was badly hurt and you cried. He reassured you with a hug and a kiss. “Y/n, love, it’s alright. I will never leave you. I will be here with you always” were his words. It made you cry even more. Your sobs filled the car.

When it’s almost too much for my soul alone.

The cars stopped outside of the tower leaving the twelve avengers move back to their dorms. Natasha and Clint sat at the kitchen talking, Tony, Bucky, Sam looked shocked. They just lost their friend and said the last goodbye to him. Bruce, Thor, James and The Vision were drinking their coffee to the balcony Steve loved and Pietro was sleeping in his room. Wanda helped you get in your room and then you locked all the doors so you could be alone.

I Loved and I loved and I lost you

Steve was the person for you. The man you trusted. The man you loved. And now you lost him. Since the day you met him he was kind and sweet with you. The day he passed away was the day you were going to tell the others about your relationship but never did. You remember not many things from that day. He stroked your cheek, kissed your lips, got out of the quinjet, fought, him laying in the ground murmuring that he loves you. After this everything went blank. Only tears.

And It hurts like hell

Was there life without him? Without his smile? Without his touch, his beautiful blue eyes looking into yours? His kisses and hugs? Oh no. Everything hurted and reminded you of him. Everytime you walked out of his room you stayed outside the door leaning against the wood. It still smelled like him. Everytime you walked to the gym his locker was there waiting for him to open it and grab his cold water but not anymore. Yesterday Tony replaced it with a collage of photos of all the Avengers with him. Your favorite was the one were you were together. The picture was taken the day the two of you got together.

Yeah it hurts like hell

You decided to open the radio. The music would calm you down, people said. It worked on Bruce the most of the times. But how could it calm you down when Steve’s and yours favorite song played? It was the song the two of you danced before he died. You were in his room when the song played and the two of you danced for hours. But moments like this don’t stay forever.

I don’t want them to know the secrets.

You remembered the talk you had with Steve. Two days before you lost him. You had a talk about how you would tell the team about you. About your love. Steve didn’t want to do something to bring you in a hard position. He wanted the best for you. But now he’s gone. Never coming back.

I don’t want them to know the way I loved you

You also had an argument. You would never forget that. He wanted to tell everything to the team about you. Make clear that you were his and nobody else’s. But you didn’t. You wanted them to start having hints. Like a treasure hunt. Love hunt.

I Loved and I loved and I lost you.

I Loved and I loved and I lost you.

And It hurts like hell

Dreams Fight with machines

He was at the hospital. Laying on that bed without moving. You touched him for the last time. Then he took his last breath. You shouted at the doctors to come and help but they couldn’t do anything. The next thing you remembered was the team trying to hold you from falling of the roof of the tower. They didn’t understand you.

Inside my head like adversaries.

Come wrestle me free. Clean from the war

Lost in your thoughts you started shouting, panicking now. The lock of the door didn’t stop Tony and Pietro bursting in to see what was going wrong. You were laying on the floor crying. They came next to you and helped you get up. Then they took you to the kitchen.“Y/N you haven’t eaten for days. Just eat something.” Pietro said offering you a bowl with cornflakes. “Y/N, you need to tell us what’s going wrong.” Tony asked. Can they understand me?No.

Your heart fits like a key.

Into the lock on the wall.

I turn it over, I turn it over

You walked out of the kitchen and stood to Steve’s balcony. Were you given your first kiss. Finally a place to be alone.

But I can’t escape.

Afraid that you would do something stupid like the first time Thor and Natasha took you in holding you and not leaving. They think I am crazy? I’ve lost it?. They sat you at the couch and started asking you question you couldn’t reply.

I turn it over, I turn it over

I Loved and I loved and I lost you

I Loved you and I loved and I lost you

I Loved and I loved and I lost you

Everyone was in shock. Noone was moving or talking. They just looked behind you. You looked around. Steve was behind you. Alive. You ran to his hug. Tears in your eyes. Then you kissed him deeply. The grip around you tightening.

“Hey sweetheart”

And It hurts like hell

Movie artwork by Failunfailunmefailun 

He wakes up early today Throws on a mask that will alter his face Nobody knows his real name But now he just uses one he saw on a grave

- ‘Trapdoor’ by Twenty One Pilots

Come back soon *Bucky Barnes x Reader*

Requested by @that-awkward-blonde-chick-xo : Your fanfics are on fleek❤️ could you write one were the prompt is: “I looked out the window and sighed, was he ever gonna get back?” And have it be a Bucky x Reader?? Warnings: Swearing, minor angst and fluff Admins Note: STEPHANIE YOU SWINE, enjoy this. – Ro (Low Key changed the prompt slightly to fit my writing style better, love you Natasha – Kik Nat, you beautiful human)

Inspired by the Bucky edition of In My Time of Dying & A Red Rose

1940’s

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU SIGNED?” You yelled, frowning deeply at your boyfriend of almost two years, his grin turning into a frown; if you weren’t so mad you’d comment on how great he looked in a uniform but you were angry, no, terrified for his life. You knew this day would come, you hoped the war would have been over before this happened, it wasn’t over and now he had sighed. You sighed gently, tears forming in your eyes at the thought of him not coming back to you, you couldn’t even look at him because you were so mad; he pulled the hat off and placed it on the table before walking to you, you stepped back just as fast and h frowned ever more “I need a few minutes, James” you tell him and leave the dining room.

“(Y/N)?” he knocked on the bedroom door gently, you look up, he sighs as he sees your eyes red and puffy, from crying no doubt “Doll, c’mere” you refuse and he walks to you and kneels down in front of you and lifts your chin with a finger so you have no choice but to look into his blue eyes, he has a gentle smile, almost affectionate. “I’ll come back, always.” You nod and let out a sigh, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand and sniffing, fresh tears on the brink of the dam and Bucky pulls you to him for a hug, resting his face in the crook of your neck; he’d never admit how scared he is to leave, terrified like you, he doesn’t want to leave you or home. He wants to stay here, where he can protect and love you, also Steve but he had to remain strong for you and himself.

“Just…” you trail and he pulls back “come back soon?” you asked and he nodded, running a hand through your (H/C) hair, he was going to miss this; the feel of you, your smile and smell, he pulled you to him and kissed you gently. It was almost as if his lips weren’t even on yours with how gentle he was, it was filled with all the words he needed but couldn’t say to you, plus a promise of return and a hint of hope but it also told you that he was afraid… like you but that no matter what he’d be home, he’d come home, soon.

 **

Brooklyn felt cold and empty without him, it felt dark and silent, everything a home shouldn’t be. It was worse with the fact Steve had ran off to join the army too, resulting in him becoming Captain America, at least they were together but it didn’t help ease your worrying and aching heart for Bucky, and Steve. Brooklyn didn’t feel like home, Bucky took that feeling with him, you knew it wouldn’t be the same without him but a part of you felt as though you could carry on; impossible, Bucky had been a part of your life for two years, wiggling his way into every nook and crevice of your life.

You sighed as you ate dinner at a diner with your friend, her guy s returned on medical leave, as much as you wanted to be happy for them… you were envious; he lost a leg but still, here they were both sat shaking a milkshake as you enviously stared at them, remembering the double dates Bucky dragged you on for Steve and his other couple friends. You told him to return in one piece but the longer you went without him the more you considered not caring about a loss of a limb.

You looked out the diner window and sighed, was he ever gonna get back? What if he is one of the unlucky ones that don’t return, how could you possibly move on from him? You wouldn’t even think about it, he promised, he said he’d come back soon and you were holding him to that. He promised you a forever, so, you’d believe him.

Present Time

Bucky stands over you, it’s silent as he tries to find the right words for you, he didn’t know how to apologise or even begin to word his emotions because it’s been so long, too long. The air is cold and tense, Bucky frowned as he tried to form some kind of sentence, some string of words that will tell you how sorry he is, how much he loves you but nothing sprang to mind and Bucky just remained standing… in silence.

He sighs gently “I don’t know what to say” he mumbled into the air “I don’t – I can’t begin to explain all of what happened, what kept me from returning to you, what made me so late for… this” his voice was quiet, soft and low, almost unheard unless you were standing next to him and he becomes silent again “I don’t know what to do, I’m so lost, (Y/N)” he sighed and let his head drop, staring at his shoes and he wipes his eyes but the tears form quickly after “I messed up the day I signed, I messed up, the day I put that uniform on was the day you lost me” he cries silently to himself, he thought he was stronger than this, he thought he could be stronger for you.

He’s silent as he tries to figure out what more is there is to say, he can’t think properly as the silence consumes him, he looks at you for a long moment and his heart aches because the picture is wrong. He was too late, gone for too long and missed you by a few years, even though he was alive but you missed him a chance to one last time see his face. He stares at the gravestone in front of him, your name clearly etched into it, he sighs gently knowing this is all in vain; you can’t hear him or feel him here but in this moment he likes to pretend you do. That you’re standing beside him, holding his hand and smiling up at him, that after a while you’ll tug on his hand and pull him away leading him to wherever because he was always chasing after you.

“I should get going” he sighed out, smoothing the stone with his human hand, running his fingertips gently over the smoothness of it and its cold. He remembers you were always cold, always staying close to him because he was warm, he remembers the obvious things but he has forgotten the feel of you and the smell. He can’t remember the perfume you used to wear, Natasha has spent hours spraying old perfumes to help him remember, nothing stands out in his mind and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get the exact smell because it was mixed with… you. He can’t remember the exact colour of your eyes, photos never have done your eyes justice, they were beautiful and captivating but he can’t remember them.

“I don’t know when I’ll come back” he admits “seeing you… without actually seeing you, it’s difficult, I can’t – it hurts that I let you down and left you alone” he sniffs and pulls his hand away “but I’ll come back soon, I promise, I won’t let you down ever again” he steps back and walks down the path, it won’t ever get easier for him.

(Hope you liked this, took some time to actually get right, fortunately, I got inspiration from past stuff I’ve written. Remember you can request; imagines, headcanons and one shots by myself and Angie. Yo! We take smut requests also, so, send those in - Rosalee)