9: I Will Not Be Using A Loophole. As Always, I Will Be Using The Main Hole, Or No Hole. I Choose No

Via Instagram Elvira Lind (@elvira_lind_)

👇🏼The caption & Pedro(@pascalispunk) response👇🏼

🚨UPDATE🚨

🚨UPDATE Pt. 2🚨

🚨Update pt. 3 // Via Pedro Insta (@pascalispunk)🚨

Really you have two options if Oberyn decided to use his body as a squirty cream canvas: Either lick it off him or decide to add onto his picture, perhaps his smiley a nice beard extending down the rest of Oberyn’s torso. Maybe you could a third route a draw a smiley of your own on your chest??

Anon’s third eye is wide fuckin open this evening and I am HERE for it

Narcissa Malfoy, at her trail: *crying* So I-I killed. So I maimed. So I destroyed one innocent life after another. Aren’t I a human being? Don’t I yearn, and ache, and shop? Don’t I deserve love... and jewellery.

Best Pilot

HAPPY STAR WARS DAY NERDS!!!!! Here have some semi medium okay decent Poe Dameron smut in celebration!!! This is unedited because if I have to go back and read it I guarantee you it will not get posted because I am Insecure™ and the smut I have posted before was barely smut and this is a little more. It’s not super long, so I hope it doesn’t feel too rushed or anything. I hope everyone enjoys it! Also I am but a simple woman who has not had sex and the idea of a blow job kind of grosses me out, so that particular scene in this is real short, I hope that doesn’t disappoint anyone. Gods below, I’m gonna be known for having the longest author’s notes ever, aren’t I?

Pairing: Poe Dameron x reader

Fandom: Star Wars

Words: 1633

Rating: Explicit (18+ ONLY)

Warnings: oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe my dudes), teasing? (is that something I should mention? idk what I’m doing guys)

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The Divine Augustus is still watching over the world....

We act like Egypt was full of cursed objects... but I definitely believe that the Meroe Head of Augustus is the most cursed.

Aye

Everyone who wants to get completely railed by Pedro Pascal while he wears the Mandalorian helmet say “Aye”

What’s in a Name?

A/N: This is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever written in my entire life. But it’s soft. Because Marcus Pike is soft and deserves all the love. Granted, I’ve only watched The Mentalist all the way through once, so…do with that what you will. 

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader (no y/n)

Rating: PG for mention of guns??? I just want to be on the safe side. Idiots in love. Falling in love with someone and not knowing their name. Cliche use of a Quote from Romeo + Juliet.

Word Count: 3.3k 

Summary: The five times Marcus Pike tries to learn your name and the one time he actually does.

Pike was unlucky in love. He knew it. He had started to accept it when things fell apart with Lisbon. His friends and fellow agents, the assholes, actually took pity on him and said he’d find the right person eventually. He just didn’t anticipate having to meet her over and over again.

… that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet... (Romeo + Juliet)

Sometimes, every once in a while, he actually hated his job. Sure, he got to go undercover, stop criminals, right some wrongs, and be called ‘agent’ on top of it. But, right now, listening to some sycophant rant and rave about the “superiority of Cubism over Dadaism,” he wanted to switch careers. There was supposed to be a sale of a stolen Cézanne happening at this gallery in Los Angeles and Pike had suspected the guy with the too-tight three piece suit and bad transatlantic accent was the ring-leader of the whole theft and re-sale. He just needed to not spork his eyes out until he saw money pass hands from the agent he’d sent in to pose as the buyer and the thief-turned-art-asshole. He thought it would only take an hour or two, busts like this usually did—but this guy loved the sound of his own voice so much that he had been going on a tangent about 20th century art movements for nearly four hours now and had somehow gathered a bit of an audience, too, debating with others, and the like. It was exhausting just listening to him.

“If you give me ten dollars, I’ll spill some red wine on his shirt and he’ll be forced to leave.”

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I hope the rest of Ryan’s life is spent with the knowledge that he had it all a loving wife, two amazing children, a good amount of fame, a good living, and he ruined it all. Nothing he does will remove the stain. No words can undo this. He blew it. He’ll be lucky if Laurie doesn’t divorce him, he’ll be lucky if he’s allowed to stay a part of his children’s lives, he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t end up in jail.

I want him to spend the rest of his life suffering for what he’s done.

I second that

Not to be a slut but I wanna hold hands with Javier Peña.

Seriously, that man has no job prospects for the near future. He hasn't done any animation or IT work in seven years. One google search will discount him from any job relating to social media. No one from RT would even dare to give him a recommendation and if he leaves off RT from his resume, he'll have to explain the 9-year gap and fail to do so. He's fucked his way to fucking up his life.

“he's fucked his way to fucking up his life” this is such a powerful line