I'm Glad Logan Got Out Ok

I’m gonna need Vcarb to come out immediately and take the blame for this as soon as this race finishes. Stupid stupid strategy yet it’s going to be DR who will get all the backlash.

QUALI RECAP: Chinese GP 2024

Ft. Nico Rosberg quotes because he's commentating again (scroll to the bottom bit)

Out in Q1

P20: Logan Sargeant, who spun out and caused a yellow flag

P19: Yuki Tsunoda, whose DRS wasn't working until the last 6 minutes of Q1

"I mean, there's definitely something going on, I can't be fucking 19. Honestly, the lap was pretty good." - Yuki Tsunoda, Team radio

P18: Lewis Hamilton goes too aggressively in his final lap and exits Q1 for the first time since Jeddah 2022

"When I was making the set-up changes I was like, it can't get any worse surely- and it did." - Lewis Hamilton

P17: Kevin Magnussen

P16: Zhou Guanyu, who placed an impressive P9 for the sprint, gets knocked down and out by Charles Leclerc, to the frustration of his home city

Out in Q2

P15: Pierre Gasly, who makes it into Q2 for the first time this year

P14: Alex Albon, who has exited Q2 in every race this season

P13: Esteban Ocon

P12: Daniel Ricciardo made it into Q2, out-qualifying Tsunoda for the first time this year. He had a minor setback when he reported smoke coming from his breaks in Q1, and wasn't able to advance to Q3

P11: Lance Stroll

Q3 results

P10: Valterri Bottas, who is on an absolute roll with his pace in China, qualifying P9 during the sprint

P9: Nico Hulkenberg, also managing to pull the HAAS to decent results

P8: George Russell

P7: Carlos Sainz, who crashed in Q2 (red flag) but came back on track in time to place third fastest, apparently struggling in Q3

P6: Charles Leclerc, who struggled a bit as well during Q3

P5: Oscar Piastri

P4: Lando Norris, who got pole for the sprint only to finish an unfortunate P6

P3: Fernando Alonso, oversteering a little in his final lap and just getting knocked down by Perez

P2: Checo Perez, making yet another front row lock-out for Red Bull

P1: Max Verstappen, taking Red Bull's 100th pole position, his first pole in China, and becoming the first driver to qualify P1 in all 5 starting races of the calender since Mika Hakkinen.

Bonus Nico Rosberg Commentary

"It's a super difficult one isn't it, for Mercedes. Lewis has put them into quite the difficult position there." (About what Mercedes will do after Lewis leaves)

"Lewis, you know, the 7 time world champion. That's a mistake probably that should be avoidable."

"Lewis tends to say we have so different set-ups and such a big car difference and that's kind of his excuse this year…and he's gone again for that"

"I'm happy to appear on a statistic. I don't appear much very often anymore 'cause it's so long ago." (The statistic being previous poles in Shanghai)

"I know that because he [Fernando Alonso]'s my rival in those statistics. That's why I know his numbers."

10 milliseconds off of Q3… Lowkey devastating but we do what we can 🫠

Mentally bracing myself in case anything is announced before COTA...

2024 Chinese GP: Recap + Results

Another one! Fair warning that it's the longest one so far, but I blame that on the 3 safety cars

P1 is Max Verstappen, who takes his first Chinese GP win, leading by about 14 seconds!

Yes the car is great, but the guy behind the wheel is also having to deliver - Crofty about Verstappen post-race

Red Bull also sets the fastest pit stop of the race, double stacking Verstappen and Perez under the full safety car and setting 1.9 and 2.0 seconds respectively.

Lando Norris is P2, his best finish since 2023 brazillian GP. He was also voted DOTD, winning just ahead of Hamilton and Alonso, who were also fan favourite picks. He was a little unhappy after he missed out on pitting under the safety car, but all ends well for him.

He [Norris] is not a happy bunny - Crofty, probably, about the missed pit stop

Woop Woop! I told you we would get past the Ferraris. - Norris, after crossing the finish line

Checo Perez places P3, yet another Red Bull double podium! There was an interesting 5 second gap from him to Norris, likely due to Norris having fresher tires. At the beginning though, he pulled some nice moves, regaining his position from Alonso within a few laps of him losing it.

P4 and 5 were the two Ferraris, Leclerc finishing in front of Sainz for the first time this season. They had a bit of a clash at the start, but nothing that the broadcast really focused on.

P6 was George Russell

P7 was Alonso, who was placed on an interesting strategy for the last several laps. He pitted for mediums, allowing him to overtake Ocon, then Hulkenberg, then Hamilton and Piastri.

P8 was Piastri who, keep in mind, has never driven at this circuit before

P9 was Hamilton, who is DOTD in my heart. He struggled with his tires at the start, being only one of four drivers on softs (everyone else on mediums, except Magnussen). He seemed to fare better after pitting for mediums, making his way to finish P9 after starting P18 :)

We also got a few moments of Nico Rosberg trying to be on some sort of wavelength with Lewis while commentating:

He's Lewis Hamilton, so yes he can…get into the points…im sure he'll move up fine - Nico Rosberg

I'm making no ground with this tyre - Lewis Hamilton That's not what we want to hear - Nico Rosberg

I can't even catch him, Mate. This car is so slow. - Lewis Hamilton That's exactly what I was going to say - Nico Rosberg (Lap 17)

P10 was Hulkenberg, yet again managing points for HAAS

P11 was Esteban Ocon

P12 was Alex Albon, who had a complaint about Ocon "moving like a ---- everywhere on the breaks." on Lap 1

P13 was Gasly, who set the slowest pit stop (19.3 sec) after an incident in the pits where a loose tire hit a mechanic when he was set to be released.

Is he okay? - Pierre Gasly All good here Pierre - Alpine

An unfortunate no-points finish for Zhou, who places P14 at his home GP, but still a very emotional day for him.

This is a dream to me as a kid, so thanks for all the Chinese fans here and back home watching TV and thank you to my team…let's keep working. - Zhou Guanyu, after he gets out of the car

Sauber, as always, had issues with their pit stops. Zhou's first one was quick compared to their previous ones, at only 3.0 seconds, but his stop under the physical safety car was the second slowest at 5.3 seconds.

He had a short fight against Sargeant and picked up some damage after contact with Magnussen near the end, losing his front wing end plate in the process, which couldn't have helped his position.

P15 was Magnussen, who always seems to be at the scene of the crime. He also picked up a 10 second penalty for infringing on the safety car.

P16 was Stroll, after picking up a 10 second penalty for causing a collision. He also had a battle for 16th with Magnussen, which was pretty interesting.

P17 was Sargeant, who was doing pretty well for the most part. Then, he stacked up a 10 second penalty for the same reason as Magnussen.

DNFS

The first yellow flag was also the first DNF of the race, caused by Bottas whose engine reportedly failed. The FIA changed the yellow flag to a virtual safety car, then a full safety car, all within a minute or two. Truly a testament to their amazing decision making skills.

The second yellow flag was caused by Yuki Tsunoda's spin out at lap 27, after contact with Kevin Magnussen that led to Tsunoda having to DNF and Magnussen going into the pits for a punctured tire.

Just minutes later, his teammate also DNFs, as Stroll collides with the back of Daniel Ricciardo's RB under the safety car. This was likely due to the fact that Ricciardo was the only one who hadn't pitted for fresh tires during the last safety car, as well as the fact that he was trying to avoid bumping Piastri, who was trying to avoid Russell, who was trying to avoid Alonso. Stroll recieved a 10 second penalty for causing a collision, but Daniel retired on lap 33 after reporting floor damage.

This idiot just slammed on the brake! Check wing damage - Lance Stroll

I've got no fucking rear on exits - Daniel Ricciardo

Before that though, his drive was going "superb" (in the words of Nico Rosberg), as he was P9 and had made a switcheroo overtake on his teammate at turn 3.

LOGAN STARTING P15 TOMORROW DUE TO BOTH HAAS'S STARTING IN THE PITLANE! LET'S GO! HIGHEST START THIS SEASON!

Im starting to feel bad for Lando actually bcs wdym "who do you think we're racing" ?? Are you guys not the strategists????

RICNATION WE ARE SO BACK!!!

louder for the people in the back

"Some of these teams have more people in media and hospitality than haas has in it's entire team" is a BRUTAL comment 😭😭