Latest Posts by arcticbluebird - Page 2

As a nonbinary person I am begging begging BEGGING people to stop enforcing gender on things that don't need it, assigning gender to hobbies, food choice, ability, personality traits etc.

"Girl dinner", "the feminine urge", "the masculine urge", "cottagecore is for women, dark academia is for men", "I want to fuck him like if he was a woman and I was a man", "this man is so fruity he is a girl to me I refuse to see him as a man". I'm sure many of you use it ironically but there's also a handful of people that really go downhill with sexism they haven't reflected on and it bleeds into real life.

It hurts Everyone, it reinforces misogyny and homophobia, but also I just want to say that it reinforces transphobia as well.

I really don't want to keep existing in a society that keeps trying to shove me into a box or asking me questions like "so are you a man kind of nonbinary or a woman kind of nonbinary eyes emoji". It's frustrating to see dates asking my nonbinary butch friend "so like, are you a trans man or are you still a woman" and remember how I had similar experiences unless I dated another trans person. And I'm saying all this as a genderfluid guy, I want to be genderfluid on my own terms.

These experiences go beyond dating, obviously, but I want to keep this post short-ish.

Reinforcing cishet gender values hurts everyone and it hurts nonbinary people also.

And I'm sure trans men and trans women also have plenty to say about this (which I'm not, so feel free to add your perspective in replies/reblogs/asks if you are)

And when other LGBT people do it it feels like a backstab.

i think of this ProZD video constantly its always so fucking funny

Hey trans people I just want to remind you that your experience is your own and there is no wrong way to describe it.

If you feel like you were "born in the wrong body", that's fine.

If you feel like you "used to be X gender but now you're Y gender", that's fine.

If you feel like you "were an X gender who chose to be a Y gender", that's fine.

If you feel like you've "always been Y gender", that's fine.

If you look at things with your deadname on or pre-transition photos and feel a sense of connection or recognition, that's fine.

If you look at things with your deadname on or pre-transition photos and feel like it's a completely different person, that's fine.

If you feel like you "killed the X gender you used to be", that's fine.

If you feel like "the X gender you used to be is still here but they're Y gender now", that's fine

Personally, I like to say that the little girl is still around, she just lets me do the talking now.

It's your experience and you can describe it however you choose.

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DEAR ARTISTS, PLEASE READ THIS POST I STUMBLED ACROSS

IF YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS ALREADY, YOU SHOULD TRY IT

I even tested it out myself, it works great

HEY HEY LISTEN THE VOICE OF THE MTA TRANSIT SYSTEM, ALL THE ANNOUNCEMENTS ON THE NYC SUBWAY LINE??

SHE'S A TRANS WOMAN AND TRANSITIONED AT 66!!!!!! THE BACKGROUND HUM OF MY CHILDHOOD, AND SHE'S LIKE ME!!!! WHAT THE FUCK

ace attorney really is just like. haha look at this slapstick comedy game about gay lawyers — listen to me. your abusers don't define you. you may find your mannerisms or appearance or name still reflect your past with them but you can make the conscious decision to become better than how they left you. it can be very hard to recover but if you rely on people you trust and who trust you in return you can make it through. it's okay to grieve, even the things you thought were your fault. sometimes things aren't your fault. sometimes they are. taking accountability for things you've done can hurt but it can also strengthen you and the people around you. so, what's your opinion on stepladders, huh?

i just realised i should've reblogged that writingpromts post instead of just making a new one

Oh, the irony.

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

ANTI-CAPITALIST AFFIRMATIONS

i am allowed to spend my time creating things, even if they are not beautiful.

there is no such thing as a "real job." all forms of work are real and valid.

there is nothing that i need to accomplish to be worthy. i am already worthy.

doing nothing is good for my soul.

i am not defined by what i produce.

my worth cannot be measured by my paycheck, my job title, or a list of professional or academic achievements.

i do not need to monetize my hobbies, it is enough to spend time doing something i love.

i will not let society decide what success looks like. i can define what successful life looks like for me.

So the Smile released a new song yesterday…

this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted

Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by

Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.

You. Are. Overstimulated.

People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.

These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.

Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time

Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!

Do you ever just make something?

16th century ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere

grabs you. hey. listen. one day youll get out of your parents house. you will be able to not go to church on sunday. you will be able to cut and dye your hair any colour you want. you will be able to wear crazy eyeliner and black lipstick or whatever makeup you want. you can swear and be openly queer with your friends and transition and date. YOULL GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!!!

*heavy southern accent*: terfs aint got no friends

I think people need to get better at saying “maybe, maybe not” or “do I really need an answer?” when faced with uncertainty. this is something that gets taught to people with OCD, but I think the masses would benefit

“what kind of attraction am I feeling?” would it be the end of the world if that question didn’t have an answer?

“am I allowed to identify as x when I’m not sure if it applies to me?” maybe! who cares!

literally. you can apply the “fuck around and find out” method to anything

continuously feeling the need to hunt for answers is going to eat you up inside. take it from me. your life gets so much easier when you let yourself be unsure

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You're going to do better when you take the labels "healthy", "good", "negative", and "unhealthy" and put them far far away in general but from coping mechanisms and emotions in particular

It was truly life changing for me when a therapist told me this:

"A coping mechanism is a method you use to survive and if it keeps you alive it's doing its job. It's only a problem when you apply it to situations it's not meant for. You need to learn how to put it back in your bag of tools and pull out the appropriate coping mechanism for the situation. And if your situation changes back to one where your old coping mechanism still works you can go back to it."

Your coping mechanism isn't "negative" or "unhealthy". You're just trying to take a hammer to a situation you need a screwdriver for

It's about using the appropriate tool for the situation but the goal is always the same: survive

In a similar note you don't have "negative" or "bad" emotions

You just have emotions

And you're not a monster for feeling a certain way.

You are responsible for your actions but even then an actions ability to do help or harm depends on your situation

Is it manipulative to burst into tears and go on a rant about how you're the worst person alive when someone corrects you?

Depends!

Is the person asking just a friend, coworker, etc asking for something completely reasonable?

Then yeah that's not a good look

Is the person someone who will scream and yell and insult and maybe even hit you until you have shown what they consider to be the 'proper' amount of remorse and debasement?

Then no it's not manipulative, it's a survival tool

I know the internet hates nuance but seriously. Having certain coping mechanisms or feelings or having done certain actions does not make you a monster

But it is important to learn how to find the correct tool to a situation.

If you try to use a hacksaw to attach bookshelf to a wall it's going to go pretty badly and cause a fair amount of damage in the process

But don't beat yourself up for owning a hacksaw. At one point you needed it and at least it's there if you need it again

there’s obviously a lot of nuance to to this conversation, but I feel like the way that people nowadays talk about friendships is so cold and devoid of love or empathy. like you aren’t allowed to complain or be sad, ur burdening ur friends with ur problems, helping someone through a hard time is ‘emotional labour’ and ‘you don’t owe anyone anything’ and I’m just thinking what does friendship even mean to you then? like honestly? people say ‘I’m not your therapist’ as if therapy is the answer to everything. what a sad world where a paid clinician is the only person you’re allowed to be emotionally vulnerable with. this ultra individualistic mindset leads to everyone feeling alone and isolated and we’ve lost all concept of community and support systems

Some better pictures of the leafkerchief. It’s made of a plain green cotton, with facings in a much lighter weight cotton, and after I sewed and turned all the points right side out I topstitched as close to the edge as I could. The inner edge of the facing is hand sewn with a slipstitch, and the veins are painted on.

I got a lot of questions about this, so I will do a blog post about it, and will include a pattern diagram!

I mean, on one hand ads pay people money to keep their services free, but it's absolutely mind-numbing how many ads we're getting on a daily basis. Not to mention some of the shady tactics businesses use to shove them in our faces sometimes.

Going feral thinking about how we have to pay for the privilege to NOT have to listen to nonstop sales pitches.

"What would your ancestors think of your whole gender thing-" What would YOURS think of being told to buy things every two minutes. I think they would kill CEOs in the streets for being annoying. They were known to do that.

if people keep insisting that aromanticism and asexuality are phases then i'll start telling them that being allo is a phase.

oh, you feel romantic and sexual attraction? don't worry, you'll grow out of it.

you're dating someone? you'll probably change your mind later!

you're too young to know that you feel attraction, wait a few years!

you're just faking attraction for attention, obviously!

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