Susan asking Alastor why he broke up with 'that nice Vox boy' and constantly telling Lucifer that Alastor's last 'boyfriend' was so much nicer, more handsome, and more successful than him. Lucifer isn't even aware that he and Alastor are dating, let alone that Alastor had an ex-boyfriend. But he's strangely motivated to win Susan over and prove he's the better suitor for Alastor compared to 'Cox' or whatever his name is.
Make it seven!
Headcanon time: Alastor first found out he was trans when he started practicing his radio show voice in the mirror, and dressed up as a man to get a higher paying job to take care of his mother.
But he still doesn't mind dressing up as a lady when he feels like it, either to lure in potential victims or just to have a good time.
thereβs probably a maximum of five people on this site that also headcanon alastor as trans but being (possibly masc) nonbinary i really like the idea so if you have any headcanons about trans alastor please share themΒ
I know everyone's already said this, but Vox is so funny because he's quite literally the most competent and professional Vee.
EXCEPT for when it comes to Alastor.
Like, HEβS the one who had to calm down Valentino and keep him from making a scene. (Especially because, yes, it looks bad if they can't control their employees, but - even in hell - it looks even worse if their top pornstar has to be dragged to the studio vs walking in on his own).
Velvette doesn't give a shit about professionalism. Like, Vox wanted to talk to Carmine about Angelic Security, and you think THAT'S how he wanted Velvette to treat her to try to guarantee them working together? Absolutely not.
(Also, Vox being able to immediately turn the tide of the paparazzi harassing him about news that JUST broke? Granted, he did use his hypnosis, but it wouldn't have worked if he didn't immediately come up with something on the fly. He knows how to keep his company running AND looking good, as WELL as being innovative enough to create new things with little to no notice.)
The other two Vees? I would not trust either of them to be the public speaker or the face of the company the way Vox is. Do you think either Velvette or Valentino would have been able to come up with a solution to the moved-up Extermination date in a way that pleased the general public?
But then. Some old timey radio deer shows back up and he immediately breaks down and can't plan for shit.
He sings a silly little song and immediately gets owned to the point he loses power to the entire city.
He plans to break in using a dude they KNOW is incompetent, and his only response when it (obviously) fails is to fucking gamer anon hate with "hahaha kys loser!" and the second he is confronted with Alastorβs face he can't do anything. He doesn't even try a single other thing after this point, cutting his loses entirely.
And THEN he avoids the meeting sending Velvette instead, potentially fucking up their ability to collaborate because he can't handle seeing Alastor.
This bisexual wreck of a television doesn't fucking leave his gamer dungeon once since Alastor is back, doing everything he can to avoid seeing him in real life.
Like, imagine what dealing with Vox is like from Alastor's perspective. HE never sees the professionalism or competence - he ONLY ever gets the pathetic mew-mew Vox!
Alastor is constantly being told how competent Vox is with his company and shit, but the second he's in the same room with him Vox is glitching and can't walk in a straight line without running into a wall or something. If I were Alastor, I'd have fun teasing the television too, because, like, what's wrong with him? It's funny!
Like, does Alastor register that this treatment is only for him, or does he think the rest of hell is pathetic enough to not notice or to just accept it? Does Alastor think Vox is like this all the time, and he's using his hypnosis to make everyone else forget about it?
Vox is just such a funny man, he has one weakness and it's just Alastor - and Alastor isn't even doing anything, he's just nearby minding his own goddamn business, lmao.
LOVE
fan art
Look I need more trans fem alastor so here' my post of
Trans Fem!Alastor HCs
It takes her a century to figure out her gender, and she still doesn't figure it out until Angel forces her to sit down infront of his power point
She doesn't change her name because she finds it funny and ironic. Alastor means Avenger. And the last name I hc her with means Purity. So her name means Avenger of Purity and she thinks that is peak comedy
Somehow, her dad jokes got worse.
Husk accepts her, but he's still grumpy to her and sometimes scared of her. Girl or not, that's the fucking radio demon damnit.
Rosie insists on dressing her. Alastor has no taste in fashion and coming out as trans is not going to fix that
She has cousins in hell. The only stink they make about it is now their numbers are skewed. There are now 3 girls and 2 boys. This causes a bit of a civil prank war within the group. It lasts for days. Alastor brought home a win on the last day, her two cousins admitting defeat at the hands of the master.
The only riot Vox causes is because He didn't see the signs before everyone else. They had been friends before, he kept up with most modern ideas. But he didn't relise people could trans their gender and now he's pouting he couldn't "help" her on her gender journey. Velvette thinks he's being fucking pathetic.
Velvette BEGS her to update her style. She doesn't of course, and makes all kinds of bitchy comments about with filled with laughter. So Velvette settles for giving her a box of vintage jewelry she's never going to wear. Alastor is going to pretend she isn't touched. She does wear a broch Velvette gave her as a part of her new outfit. Velvette considers it a win
Charlie slips up and accidentally calls her mom once. She's nonchalant and supportive about it, but inside she's screaming crying throwing up. She hates that she's so emotional about it
She doesn't end up getting surgeries or treatment or anything. That would be going too close to a doctor for her liking. Too close to asking for help. Besides, she hates change and enough has changed already. Give her a few years, and she might come around to the idea of having Lucifer magically trans her gender for her. She's just got to get used to the whole 'having come out as trans thing'.
One time, someone made a comment about her. And she reminded all of hell exactly who she is. She's the radio demon, and she got to power by being the most terrifying and overpowered soul she could be. No one made a comment about her again.
Zestiel doesn't quite get it, but he's supportive and stays close to her (I'm a big fan of the grandad zestiel stuff it's really cute)
Susan still picks on her. But she is glad that she got rid of that stupid Bob and let her curls grow out. She gives a lot of backward compliments that Alastor is just used to
When Carmilla saw her at the next over lord meeting, she just raised an eyebrow and didn't say anything about it. For once, Alastor didn't try to bring the subject to her latest venture.
Headcanon that all spider people get whatβs called the βSpider-Zoomiesβ (which is a sudden burst of energy but itβs expressed through Spider-like behavior) except for Miguel because he didnβt get bitten, so every time he makes the mistake of going to HQ in the middle of the night, he gets jump scared by at least one Spider-Man:
Scuttling across the ceiling (Pavitr)
Hissing into the void (Miles)
Bench pressing a building (Peter B)
Jumping fifty feet into the air without warning (Margo)
Building some intricate contraption in complete darkness (Hobie, emphasis on trap)
Running extremely fast without making a sound so you donβt know theyβre there until itβs too late (wtf Mayday)
Or crouching into a corner, completely still like a predator watching its prey, and the moment he gets close to them, they whisper βHeyβ making him scream so loud that he throws his empanadas in their face (Gwen)
Itβs essentially like youβre walking through a building full of eldritch horrors, and you donβt know where any of them are, but they all know exactly where you are, and they win bonus points if they scare the shit out of you. Miguel hates it here.
Okay spoilers for the season finale of Hazbin hotel ahead. You have been warned
Holy fuck. Holy fuck. So much happened but I specifically want to talk about Alastor and his near death experience/ subsequent mental breakdown. The line "Alastor Altruist died for his friends." Made me go absolutely bonkers, that paired with earlier in the episode where he tells Nifty he could almost get used to their company and find it nice while fondly looking out over them. I think he's legitimately starting to get attached, and I think that scares the everloving shit out of him.
Because being attached means weakness. We saw that when wounded Alastor was able to retreat so putting his life on the line probably wasn't part of whatever deal he struck , BUT he did it ANYWAYS to help Charlie and the other hotel inhabitants. He started to put others above himself which ended in himself being hurt and I think thats part of why he had such a visceral reaction, not just the fact that he was hurt in general but because he's struggling with not allowing himself to have a weakness at all costs versus some genuine growing affection. I can not wait to see more. Season 2 can't come soon enough.
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Thereβs a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.
I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.
Send me asks about Headcanons. I'll talk your ears off.
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