I Can't Help Seeing Greater People Than I Around Me And Sometimes I Felt Like I Was A Just Worthless

Just finished watching "Love, Simon". It's a beautiful story. The point especially where Simon mentioned how he hated it that only gay people had to come out, not the heteros. I mean, we all have lived with common standards for so long that everything different either stands out or just becomes a brave story for us to feel proud of. Can't they be just another story? Can't they be simply them? The thing is, we don't let them. They are all same as us, only difference is that they like John not Betty, or they like Shein not Randall- but who they like puts them into a whole new category for us. Because now they have to conform to the "gay" standards to prove their sexual orientation to us. I often think, why do we need people to do this and that just so they can be it for themselves? Or that why people need to be either this person or that person? Why not bits of everything they want to be or are? Being a human, a person, a complexity in itself is a beautiful puzzle- but why does it always have to be in colours we can see?! Why can't it be in shades we've never known, heard of, seen, smelt or even felt on the skin? Why can't it just be?

Mthefucking hell I've been holding the fort for weeks now, why the fuck Tumblr

Noticing that I haven't been getting any new pornbot followers for the last few days:

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nov 06, '22: exam season again. making a list of all the topics i need to study. it's stressful tbh, but i hope to do better//

"The painter"

The interviewer was struggling to fish out a comment worthy of the painter's praise but he coudn't.

In the end he decided to ask a question instead.

"Why hang the amataur attempts on wall rather than completed beauties?"

The painter smiled,"I want my walls to hold meaning rther than beauty and my struggles hold meaning to me."

The interviewer merely blinked stunned by the painter's preferences and they both slowly trudged ahead.......

"Imperfection moulds perfection..."

WE’RE THE MILLERS (2013) dir. Rawson Marshall Thurber

I AM IN ABSOLUTE LOVE WITH THIS ADAPTATION!!

Oh this scene absolutely melted me, Sam Reid plays lestat with perfect charisma and character.

Here, I just died of happiness. This one was literally brilliant dilevery, on both the actors part. The feelings, the buildup to that kiss of acceptance and the aftermath, everything!

Well, lestat's french.🔪

This scene was absolute gem! The little sounds from lestat- 'nuh-uh-uh-uh', 'hmm' just were so effortlessly delivered! And the laughter they shared, please!!! Literal soulmates!

Lestat's a funny french twat. This is what being a pro vampire, queer and french man in love does to you, apparently.

There interactions please😭😂😂. Daniel Malloy being a hardcore journalist taking no bullshit like his young self and straight up being a no-nonsense-patronizing journalist to perfection!

Currently reading Acts of desperation by Megan Nolan. I don't think I have read such an intense yet heartbreakingly relatable book in a while, perhaps the last such read was 'Tell the wolves I'm home'..... I started reading acts of desperation without any expectations of whether it'd suit my taste or not, or how it'd turn out. But so far in.... I've not been disappointed.

Moon knight episode 4 [AHHHHHHHH!!!]

Oh, this scene right here! Marc being a protective husband and being jealous as fuck and threatened by his own alter about his wife.

"Are you in love with my wife?!"

And then the beautiful intimidating threat.

"I'll throw us off a cliff!!!"

And then despite the clear threat baby Steven goes and kisses Layla after telling her that Marc does care for her and isn't the grandest of assholes. This sweet bastard. Then of course, Marc exhibits his skill of how to be a TWAT.👇

By making Steven punch himself while he was still sporting a goofy as hell smile over his kiss with Layla. 👀This shit was the funniest part to me in this episode.🤣

Here, how Steven comforts Layla about her father and how she beams again at Steven for making her feel better.

Layla and Steven had amazing interactions throught the episode. The part where Steven went nerdy mode and explaining the Eye of Horus and relevancy of other senses to gods and all and Layla looked slyly at Steven, impressed of course. Almost like she found a nerdy best friend, awwww! And the part where Steven was ranting and then realised how quiet Layla was being and straight up went like....👇

Although I did feel very bad in this scene for Marc when Layla confronted him. I mean when the whole story came to light of how he almost died saving her father and he'd have died if khonshu hadn't chosen him to be his avatar.

Ofcourse, the tomb priest zombie.

"What the bloody hell's a Heka?"

Well, Steven. You killed one.

I cracked up at his anxiety, politely of course. He KILLED a fucking Egyptian mummy or shit and he's never done shit like this before. He's both horrified and amazed at hell at his actions and his luck. Probably thinking, "How the hell I even did that?!", meanwhile chanting, "I squished it. I squished it."

This scene was bloody funny. At first they both literally encounter a fucking hippo dressed as a Pharaoh? And then it speaks in the most fucking unexpected voice- of a female?! And these two are suddenly screaming because they definitely DID NOT EXPECT THIS and so it's SOMEHOW SEEMING MORE SCARY. Oscar Issac has mastered the screaming scenes LOL. And also the difference in both of their hand movements while they scream? Steven has a defensive pose like "Fuck, don't come at me?!". Meanwhile Marc is like, "Bitch what?!!"

And the part where they find a third coffin? But ignore it? Baby Jake?!!

And also the concept they used that Alexander the great was the last Avatar of Ammit. And how they turned the concept of his lost tomb to an awesome part of the episode.

Everything was bloody awesome!

08.11.22, tuesday

just some casual, chill, and not at all caffeinated panicky writing of things