#this Had To Be Done

its 3am

just thinking about neil perry.

No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny

texting sucks, let’s have deep conversations and roll on grass instead

the polarising feeling of going to the shop and seeing everyone in their lives and knowing you’re completely alone

want that indie movie, rainy days, reading 4 fun, kate bush, tired smiles, i am not okay with this, music playing, cool girl, lipgloss, doc martens, thrifting, effortless beauty, wlw, mazzy star, chipped nail polish, doodling, dim lighting, end of the f***ing world, quiet, baggy clothes, wind blowing ur hair out of ur face, carolina by taylor swift, record shops, leather jackets, red, messy hair, sunset walks, polaroid photos, crystal rings, smudged eyeliner, fairy lights, playing guitar kind of life i think thats what i deserve

Letters I write to myself from fiction characters part 1, Azriel Shadowsinger, ACOTAR

Dear my beloved, 

                                   My shadows have told me that you are struggling with your mental and physical health more than usual. I wish I could be there to help you feel better, but alas, I cannot. Rhysand has sent you on a dangerous mission, and prohibited anyone helping you. I told him it was a mistake, that it wouldn’t benefit you, but he disregarded me. I apologize that I cannot be of much help, especially since it is my fault your last mission failed. Hopefully I can convince Rhysand to let me help you soon. 

Cassian and Elain miss you. Not as much as I, of course, but they miss you. Elain says the garden is dying without you, and that the smell of baked goods that fills the townhouse is not as...fragrant as it once was. And I have to agree. Especially the garden. The flowers do seem to be wilting without your beauty and grace to strengthen them. The once delicious chocolate muffins have lost their flavour and warmth. When you return, when not if, it will be like the first spring all over again, believe me. The sun will shine brighter, the flowers bloom once again. The flavour and warmth will return to food; the days will be longer, laughter filling the streets. It will be beautiful when you return home. 

Cassian says the rooftop feels emptier when it’s just him up there without you to brighten his world. Because that’s what you do. You brighten up everyone’s world. You make everyone happy, even when you feel like giving up like you do now. Maybe that can be your reason to stay. Not for me or Elain or Cassian, but because you help people. 

I hope this helped. I will be contacting you again via letter as often as I can. I don’t expect you to reply. 

Just remember, the darkness is here to help you discover the sun inside you. 

          Your beloved, 

                                Azriel

i wish people could understand what they say affects the other person to an extent that they start hating/doubting themselves

Subtle remarks are remarks too.

And,  Wherever I go,  Wherever I end up being, these eyes, These eyes keep looking, only for you For, you're still the face My grieving heart keeps searching for in a crowd, For, I had once found my meaning in love, And I found it, with you.  But then one day you left, taking away With you the meaning I found. So I kept searching, kept looking, in places, in Names, amongst faces, and not one of them yours. So tell me, where do I find another you. For, you're still the face My grieving heart keeps searching for in a crowd. For, I found my meaning, in love,  And I found it, with you.

Munchi