Rowan Whitethorn With A Sword Is So Sexy

My wildest dream is to have a wild and untamed garden full of flowers and Vines and Pathways and hidden benches and alcoves like that Secret Garden

Whatever you do, don’t imagine todd the night after neil had passed, after the ceremony and all the days events, sitting alone in his room staring straight at neil’s bed.

the messy bed with the blankets thrown back and the pillow still creased after neil had woken up and left for the play. and how none of the poets had dared to touch it.

how todd became so distraught while staring at it he climbed into it and curled up under the covers and started to cry as the blankets still smelled like neil.

how todd spent all night in the bed sobbing his eyes out and holding onto the blankets for dear life, until the morning came and mr nolan came to collect all of neil’s stuff.

don’t imagine how todd fought to stay in the bed and keep neil’s stuff; sobbing and reaching for neil’s belongings as they were carted away like they were nothing but a collection of disappointments.

don’t imagine how todd stole one of neils sweaters without mr. nolan looking, along with one of neils books and kept them for himself.

don’t imagine how when mr nolan had left, and todd was left with nothing but the sweater and book, he curled up on the empty bed, devoid of all blankets, and read.

and how todd had found a poem neil had written, jotted down in messy scrawl on a piece of ripped paper, shoved in between two chapters. and how multiple lines were crossed out and rewritten with the intention of getting it perfect.

And how the poem was addressed to todd,

and how it was a love poem.

don’t imagine it.

Left Munich at 8:35 P. M., on 1st May, arriving at Vienna early next morning; should have arrived at 6:46, but train was an hour late.

Me last year: 6:46 is… very precise, buddy.

Me this year:

The Queer Symbolism of Dead Poets Society

that’s right y’all i actually did it. tw/cw for mentions of Neil’s death, homophobia, reclaiming queer

Dead Poets Society; a beloved, slightly problematic staple of dark academic films. Since its release in 1989, it has gained a strong following over the years, and even more speculation. Fans of the film have long believed that the central characters, Todd and Neil, were in love. Furthermore, there are theories that not only were the main characters lovers, but major plotlines and themes possess metaphors of queerness. Debate has been made over the reality of these theories, and it’s pretty believable. This essay has no intention to change any thoughts on the matter, more like reading into the content and considering what the general opinion is. 

Anyone who has seen the movie or even read a brief summary should be aware of the major theme of the story; tradition versus nonconformity. Mr. Keating made a point to challenge tradition, which, considering the patriarchal, conservative setting, was quite risky. It’s almost like queer people have been challenging tradition for centuries. ‘Tradition,’ or heteronormativity, against the ‘nonconventional’ is instead celebrated. The Dead Poets Society was all about defiance from societal norms and living authentically, in other words not having to hide.

“We all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are your own, unique, even though others may think them odd or unpopular. Even though the herd may go ‘that’s bad.’” - Keating

Deviating from tradition not only takes form in the Dead Poets Society being revived, but in the confrontation of supposed gender roles. A deep passion for theatre is connected with homosexuals and has roots in queer culture since at least the early 20th century, from the author’s knowledge. The group had taken a keen interest in poetry, as well being long associated with femininity or homosexuality, by reasons of toxic masculinity. With harmful intentions or not, poetry is still a staple of queer culture. Infamous queer poets like Sappho, Emily Dickinson, Oscar Wilde, and Walt Whitman have been influential in their works since the sixth century. Walt Whitman specifically is mentioned many times in this film. One of his more well-known poems, “Oh Captain, My Captain” is referenced various times. Out of all the poems to choose, why go with the poem written by a hypothesized gay man about a president who also may have been gay? To add to this, during the scene in which Todd chases Neil around while the latter reads his poetry, Neil has the gall to say “I’m being chased by Walt Whitman.” As if that scene wasn’t already one of their more emotionally charged moments that lead to this essay’s creation.

That is not where the references to queer culture stops. During the audience’s first introduction to English teacher John Keating, he is whistling the tune of ‘1812 Overture,’ composed by notoriously homosexual composer Tchaikovsky. In the cave, Charlie Dalton recites a line from Shakespeare’s ‘Sonnet 18,’ famously written about a feminine man, recognizable from the line: “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” That sonnet created much skepticism over Shakespeare’s sexuality and some consider him to have been queer.

The thing with queer people indulging in these interests are both fine points in the queer identity and culture, as well as stereotypes against queer people in that aspect. What a fun time.

The symbolism and references are not the only evidence of this being a queer movie. There are the characters themselves. Most frequently discussed, is the case of Neil and Todd. Although Todd is new to the school and riddled with anxiety, he ends up quite close to Neil. Did it help that they were roommates? Certainly, but there is quite a bit more to it than that. Neil had developed the habit of being in Todd’s space quickly, and Todd got rather comfortable with Neil by the time the play auditions rolled around. Even more, Neil is very frequently seen looking at Todd in a way that friends don’t typically do. When Todd performed the improvised poem for the class, it had cut to Neil, looking positively enamored at Todd. The aforementioned Walt Whitman reference to Todd is to be taken into consideration as well. Todd’s reaction to Neil’s death too made quite the difference. It is normal to mourn for a lost friend, but was there a reason to show Todd in such a state of despair? Charlie had known Neil much longer, yet all seen in the final film, Todd showed the most aggravated grief. Yes, in the original script, Charlie had had a grieving moment, but why keep Todd’s? It might have been for character development, or it could have been much, much more personal.

Because of the fandom’s hope for canonical queer characters, former cast member Gale Hansen has graciously supplied some answers via Twitter on several occasions. He has said that he ships Todd and Neil and confirmed that Charlie could’ve been portrayed as nonbinary. 

Besides the many references, metaphors, and instances of symbolism, there is still one more area that needs to be covered; the relation between the Dead Poets Society and being a queer person. Considering a very queer individual is writing this, this part may get a little long and personal. Throughout the film, Neil feels the worst pressure to conform to the life his father wants for him and struggles with it immensely. He feels hopeless and drained from every short conversation with his father, and it did end up killing him slowly. He despaired over who he was. He knew what he was, he enjoyed who he was, but faced criticism over being himself. Neil’s father hated the parts of Neil he couldn’t control and suppressed his son’s identity. Seeing Neil on stage was a turning part in the movie, as if Mr. Perry is seeing his son for the first time how he really is. He wasn’t hiding, he was out. 

Yes, it is quite true that people just couldn’t live if their passion was taken away for a bleak existence. That could’ve been the case for Neil. Or, as this whole thing is about finding how this film mirrors queerness, he could not live knowing that he would be despised by his own father. It might just be the queer existence at it’s saddest state, but it certainly is understandable. 

Taking in all of the reasons why this movie could be a piece of inexplicably queer media, there is just the fact that it might not be. It’s subjective some look at it and think ‘yeah, they are definitely gay’ whereas someone else might not look at it that way. This essay was just a way of proving some points, really. I analyzed the content based on my own view and took my thoughts into account. Keating did say that the reader’s opinion is one that matters.

No matter how far we go, how far we tread, the truth that stays hidden, shall never be said.

I think of her alot,my younger self,what if she meets me someday or i meet her someday or someone like her or someone like me,

I barely have cool things to tell her about how I've been,

Maybe she'd know how to be me,

Maybe she'll sit quiet and listen to me,

Or maybe she'll crack a joke here and there and laugh with me,

She'd be so small,

I could pick her up,

She'll probably ask me alot of questions,

All the things that she couldn't but i can do now,

She'll be content to hear me out

Maybe I'll meet my older self someday,

Maybe she won't say much,

But she'll tell me things that are going on in her life,

Maybe I'll sit quiet and listen to her,

Maybe I'll crack a joke here and there to comfort her,

Maybe she'd be the same as me ,

I'll ask her alot of questions,

All the things i can't do but she can,

I'll be content and hear her out.

-tamanna

I used to build dreams about you.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

HELP I NEARLY DIED I was scrolling through pinterest screaming mitski at the top of my lungs then this came up

I ALMOST CHOKED ISTG

in the morning, it's light academia at night, it's dark academia in the brain, it chaotic academia

Other people's emotions are deep and complex and beautiful but mine are proof that there is rot at the core of my being