You Bad Bad Boy. Where Are Mommy's Nuclear Launch Codes

I had to take a piss test for a job I got hired at today, and this is the name of the fuckin company that makes the tests

Stop putting your stupid AI chat roleplay in the 'x reader' tag. It's not fanfiction it's just you talking to a bot and you're taking up space from actual writers.

my girlfriend keeps forgetting to check under the covers before flopping on the bed

Whenever I see someone refer to "Victorian era-" for places outside the UK I'm tempted to start saying shit like "Han Dynasty era Rome", "Soviet era Australia" etc

I feel like I’m circling an idea with this meme but idk if I actually landed it.

oh man i gotta pee so bad they must have laced this drink with glass of water